With Benefits
by Cylann
Summary: A slightly AU look at how Jude's life would have gone on if she hadn't been the winner of Instant Star. Who would have been her support and what happens when she meets Tommy by chance.
1. In Retrospect

_It's a lie to say most people are eventually faced with one single choice that will change their lives forever. In the movies and books that might happen, but in real life...that's just not how it works. Life is made up of a series of decisions, some bigger some smaller, that by themselves are not usually life altering. At least that's what I thought until I heard the confession he insisted on giving me. He rocked my world on its axis with a simple sentence and I didn't know at that point if I could ever recover from it. Then I did something that surprised myself. For one night I became the carefree, headstrong girl, impulsive girl I was in high school; the one who's family was still whole and I at least thought was happy. I met my younger self and I fell into something, became someone I did not know existed, except buried deep in my heart. And without truly acknowledging it I made my own choice; one that would change my world forever and have repercussions I could then only dream about. Then again maybe I'm still deluding myself right this second. Maybe if things had been different I still wouldn't have been able to help myself. Maybe I would have fallen anyway._


	2. Prologue

**Prologue**

Two attractive strangers in his bar. How often had Phil watched this scene play out? The hunter finding his prey, this time in the form of regular Tommy Quincy ex-boybander extraordinaire and the hunted, a slight redhead with the clearest blue eyes he had ever seen. He had never seen this particular creature before and was a bit surprised she had come in here alone. His place wasn't so trendy that he had too many attractive young single women frequenting it. He did notice however that she was troubled, simply by the way she ordered drink after drink. Phil turned his head away to pour another round for the table at the corner.

She had been having violent mood swings all night, anger, hurt, disbelief, sadness, and they had finally taken their toll on her exhausted psyche. Now she was simply numb and welcomed the reprieve. Someone sat down beside her in the periphery of her vision, but she did not bother to look. Even if she had come here searching for something to distract her from her life, she found she was closing down in solitude instead. Then a man's raspy voice intruded on her painful thoughts and her head turned to the most mesmerizing eyes she had ever seen. And for a moment she felt like she was freefalling. She closed her eyes and caught her breath. What the hell was that? She opened them again and studied the rest of him, the face, almost pretty he was so drop dead gorgeous, his hair styled a little too much for her taste, but still dark and thick making her fingers itch to run themselves through the luxurious strands.

"Uh...hi..." Her voice sounded reedy and unsure, so unlike her it caused her to pause for a moment. He spoke again in response and this time she could appreciate his voice and it sounded sexy? to her ears.

During a lull Phil watched the predictable: The conversation. Phil snickered, he had heard plenty of pick up lines over the years, Tommy's included and the man was definitely smoother than most. Tommy making her feel like she was the only one in the room, the blush on her cheeks that he had a feeling was real and not feigned. He saw the fingers brushing against her slender arm rested on the counter. Her head ducking in a moment of shyness, but then she looking up again. The locked gaze did not falter this time. He saw the smaller hand taken by the larger and she pulled onto her feet to join him. Tommy threw a few bills down next to his still half full glass. And Phil watched them go Tommy's hand resting on the small of her back, over the silky material of her miniscule top, guiding her to the exit. Phil shook his head and reached for the bills, noticing for the first time that there was a hundred mixed among the two fives. Guess Tommy wasn't as in control as he let on.

****

o; 


	3. Chapter 1

_Okay people I'm not sure what to think. There hasn't been a single review, but some of you have put this story on notification. So anyway if I should stop wasting my time posting this here at least tell me that much. The song used is Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie. Oh and warning adult content ahead. Please don't read if smut bothers you._

**Chapter One**

__

He held her hand as he smoothly used his other to slip the old fashioned key into the lock, and it should have been romantic, but the touch was anything but. It was searing heat and tamped down passion connected by only one point of their bodies. He pushed into the room taking her with him willingly. Her already swollen lips begged for relief, but his touch was not calming. His hands tangled into her hair as the door shut soundly behind them and she wondered for an irreverent moment if it had woken anyone in this grand old hotel, a place nicer than she had ever been. Her thoughts scattered between one heartbeat and the next as his mouth pressed down on hers, his tongue leaving a wet path along her parted lips. Fighting for air, his scent of expensive cologne wafted through her senses, reminding her of the differences between this and every other experience she had ever had.

_The smell of your skin lingers on me now  
You're probably on your flight back to your home town  
I need some shelter of my own protection baby  
To be with myself in center  
Clarity, Peace, Serenity_

Their eyes met briefly as he pulled back to lead her towards the large bed damask covered bed and she didn't think she could bear it, so she wrapped her hand behind his head and pulled him down to her again, tasting the inside of his mouth with her agile tongue. He pushed her lightly onto the comforter as his hand went to the buttons of his lavender dress shirt. How could a man look good in lavender she did not know, but he did, the color bringing out the translucency of his blue eyes. It was plain as day that he had done this before and that judgment settled something in her roiling belly, knowing it would mean nothing to him and after this was over she would just be a hopefully pleasant memory.

_I hope you know, I hope you know  
That this has nothing to do with you  
It's personal, myself and I  
We've got some straightenin' out to do_

He looked at her expectantly and it took her a moment to rip her gaze away from his chiseled chest to realize what he wanted. Was her inexperience with situations like this too apparent? He was obviously older than her, she would guess mid-twenties. Did she look like the naïve child she felt like now? Her fingers went to the hem of her midnight blue camisole and she took a shaky breath as she started to raise the material, baring her belly. The glimpse of her white skin had his hands reached out, his fingers grazing her flesh as he helped her remove the garment. He looked down at her with darkened eyes as he took in the bra, royal satin blue with lace straps and the short black skirt that hiked up to reveal her creamy thighs and just a glimpse of the sexy matching panties.

__

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket  
But I've got to get a move on with my life  
It's time to be a big girl now  
And big girls don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking  
I must go alone  
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown  
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they  
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Her hands reached behind her to lower the zipper on the skirt given to her by her fashion plate of a sister, because she had not been able to fit into the unforgiving material. Her mouth was dry as she watched him unbutton his well worn frayed in all the right places jeans. One mystery solve: Boxers. She licked her lips and she totally approved, having secretly never been a fan of briefs. She stood shakily to let the skirt fall to her feet where she kicked the cloth away impatiently. This had to be faster or she would remember, she would lose her nerve. She had to do this for herself and wasn't sure where the certainty came from.

.__

I hope you know, I hope you know  
That this has nothing to with you  
It's personal, myself and I  
We've got some straightenin' out to do  
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket  
But I've got to get a move on with my life  
Its time to be a big girl now  
And big girls don't cry

If he didn't touch her soon the memories of her past would come flooding in, reminding her of the good times when the world had been innocent and forgiveness not necessary; every slight against her could be forgotten the next day. Hesitancy started to creep into her eyes malignantly and she fought to keep her doubts at bay. She shuddered as he took in her slender body, delicately curved hips and her small high rounded breasts barely hidden by her barely there wisps of clothing.

.__

Like the little school mate in the school yard  
We'll play jacks and Uno cards  
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine  
Valentine  
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to  
Cause I want to hold yours too  
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds  
But it's time for me to go home  
It's getting late, dark outside  
I need to be with myself center  
Clarity, Peace, Serenity

His hand went to rest at her waist, pulling her closer until their bodies met and she felt the dig of his hardness from the juncture of her thighs to her lower belly. She breathed in, making a small noise at the back of her throat. How could the feel of just his skin pressed firmly against hers make her restless and wanting.

"Are you okay?" Although his eyes were still dazed with passion he noticed her sudden unease. She nodded wordlessly as his fingers slid to the clasp at her back and suddenly her straps were loose on her shoulders.

"I've never left with someone I just met before." Actually she had only ever been with one other man and he had been the farthest thing from a stranger she could get. He paused only for a split second, acknowledging that she was not like most of the women he picked up, her air of uncertainty almost endearing in his jaded world of one night stands.

"Relax." He said smoothly as his mouth descended on the slim column of her neck. Her arms wrapped around his back as he feasted on her pale skin, grazing teeth along the hollow of her collar bone. What was she doing?! She didn't know this man and yet she couldn't help wanting him to touch her everywhere, wanting period. She had no experience with need like this and at one point had figured she simply wasn't capable of strong attraction. He was proving her wonderfully wrong, her skin tingly and hot from the contact of his. He sat on the bed and pulled her down upon him, she laughing in surprise as he flipped her onto her back. He slung her bra behind him and suddenly his mouth hovered above one slope of breast and she found herself aching for him, even though she had never enjoyed it too much in the past. His tongue darted out and caught the raised bead, flicking at it making her stomach clench.

No. This was going too slow and comparisons were starting to come into her mind. So she raked her short nails along his chest, getting a shudder out of his hard body and her lips found his once again. This was at least one thing she knew she could do well. Her teeth nipped at his lower lip and she felt herself pinned to the bed by his hard weight. Her breasts were so perfectly shaped he ached to touch them and so he did. His hands cupped both soft mounds, the calluses on his palms and fingers creating a delicious friction as he rubbed the aching nubs. She wiggled her hips, adjusting so he was more centered on top of her, spreading her thighs and he came to rest between them. His rigid arousal immediately pressed against her center, only separated by their underwear now. Her pelvis involuntarily shifted upwards, wanting more contact from his heated flesh. And he obliged by pushing down, the head of his arousal skimming her through their barrier of clothing. She didn't recognize this girl moaning shamelessly under this gorgeous man, making him groan against her hot skin. She scratched her nails lightly up his ass and he thrust against her even harder. She felt his fingers dig underneath the string of her panties and then the pressure as he ripped them off of her. She blinked because she had barely felt the material give. Her moistness took him the tiniest bit deeper, but it wasn't nearly enough as she arched her hips up in frustration.

He pulled back from her arms unwilling to let go and got rid of his boxers, letting her see him for the first time. A small gasp escaped her lips. She had never thought a man could be beautiful, but he was and her eyes were drawn to his waist. A tiny frisson of fear leapt through her. He was definitely out of her scope of experience. He reached down unabashedly for his jeans and withdrew a small foil packet from his wallet. She remembered suddenly what she had once read about hotel comforters and edged up to the head of the bed to pull the covers down. He quickly met her again, pressing her down among the pillows his lips hot and insistent on hers as he centered himself between her bent knees once more. She could feel the probing hardness between her legs, stretching her wider than ever before and her breath hitched. He paused and stared into her eyes, but she needed this in more ways than he realized, so her legs wrapped around his waist pulling him tight against her. He sank in to the hilt and their eyes stayed lock as he began to withdraw again. Maybe her desperation translated into his flesh as well, because he thrust in again quickly as she urged him with her nails and her silky legs, with her mouth pressed to his. His arms braced on either side of her head as he shoved against her over and over and not once did she emit a protest, just little gasps that drove him crazier than he thought possible. She could feel the throb of his thick arousal, stroking into her flesh sending off darts of sensation to every point within her body. She gripped him tightly, her muscles pulsing against him as her hips raised to meet him. His vision of her blurred as he quickened his pace; her ultimate cry of pleasure drowned out by the roar of blood rushing through his head. His weight pressed her deep into the down mattress, completely spent, as he stared down at her.

"Who are you?" He asked in wonder, searching her indigo eyes in surprise. The question should have been a strange one; she had given him her first name as he had his, but somehow she accepted it and answered just as confused.

"I'm not sure anymore." He rolled off of her onto his back, finally hearing her labored breathing, although she had not protested his body heavy on hers. He pulled her into his side not sure who he had surprised more with the gesture. Jude savored the feel of his well muscled body and wondered how it was she could be here curled against a man she barely knew, having just shared something so out of her realm of understanding as to be laughable. "Is this how it normally is for you?" How could this intensity be normal? He looked down at her and shook his head slightly.

"No." And he admitted he didn't understand either.__

I hope you know, I hope you know  
That this has nothing to do with you  
It's personal, myself and I  
We've got some straightenin' out to do  
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket  
But I've got to get a move on with my life  
It's time to be a big girl now  
And big girls don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry

Jude had luxuriated in the comfort of a strong man holding her for long enough and though her body was reluctant to move, she did not want this to be awkward for either of them. She moved out from under his arm and sat up while he stared at her in surprise.

"Do you have somewhere to be tonight?"

"Um...no." She was actually planning on heading to her sister Sadie's dorm room to bunk on the futon.

"Well the room's paid for." He offered, the heat already returned to his eyes as he took in her naked form. It was funny, she thought, how she had never stood in front of anyone this boldly. And before she could make a decision his hand had taken hers and pulled her back down.

"Is there a reason you dye your hair?" He asked idly as his fingers traced a seductive path between the valley of her breasts, down her quivering stomach to the small patch of fine blond curls.

"I don't remember." She murmured breathlessly as his tongue followed where his fingers had gone, shamelessly. She let out a small cry as he did something else she had never experience, her fingers fisted in dark hair that was not as sticky with gel as she thought it would be.

Morning came with stiffness of overtaxed muscles and the effects of too much alcohol from the night before. She stretched languidly and narrowly missed punching the man in the bed beside her. She looked over in apologetic horror, but he did not seem upset, his slumberous eyes instead were too busy drinking her in from her reddened breasts to one long outstretched leg, causing faint color to rise to her cheeks.

"I want to see you again." He whispered insistently against her ear before slipping inside her willing body yet again.

_　**_

Jude pulled open the worn door to the building, bypassing the elevator completely in the small entrance area, heading for the stairwell, knowing the elevator was still out of order. She faintly recalled it breaking about a week after they had moved into the building and having been ignored since. She could have caught the bus home, but had chosen to walk instead, needing the time to think. On the way back she had stopped at a local drug store to make a purchase and lingered longer than she had planned, just wasting time, not wanting to face the inevitable. There was only one thing she had made up her mind about. She had promised in the afterglow of fantastic sex to see him again and meet at the hotel on Wednesday at noon, explaining that she worked at night, which of course was only the partial truth. The whole truth was she was a bad liar and could not make excuses to be out of the apartment the nights she was free.

Now in the unforgiving light of day she resolved that it could not happen ever again. He would find someone else to play with soon enough and Jude had to consciously ignore the stab in her chest at that thought. With that decision out of the way her other problems came tumbling back into her mind, unwelcome and haunting. Jude made her way up the four flights of stairs to the doorway and entered the hallway barely out of breath, so used to the familiar trek. Her nose caught the constant smell of Chinese food, from the take out place next door, permeating the very walls. **  
**She stood in front of the peeling blue painted door, her hand in her pocket, and took a deep breath, steeling herself for the confrontation she was sure would take place. It was Sunday, so she knew he wouldn't be in class. With a second of hesitation she pulled out a plain silver band, putting it back on her finger before pushing aside her drug store purchase to get her keys from her bag.


	4. Chapter 2

****

Chapter 2

Jude let herself into the apartment and when she looked up from the knob she saw him slumped on their old secondhand sofa. They lived so differently now than when they had grown up, living next door to each other in the middle class suburbs of Toronto. Now they were typical university students living on instant noodles and macaroni and cheese in a dump of an apartment. She hugged her jean jacket closer to her body as their eyes locked and she kicked the door shut behind her. He stood up and took a step towards her, but she backed up and he stopped at the look in her eyes.

"Where have you been? I was worried. I called Sadie and she said she didn't hear from you last night." He had confessed to his sins last night, and had left when she had said she needed some space. She was gone by the time he had returned from his walk.

"You don't get to do that. Not right now." She uttered, guilt warring with anger. It was easy to say that he had lost the right to care, his actions showed his disregard for their relationship, but that was too simplistic. Although Jamie saw things in black and white more than she cared for, she had learned the shades of grey were where most people existed, especially her. She couldn't believe what she had done in the last twelve hours. All she really knew was that her decisions were irrevocable and would change her life more than it had already started to. She promised herself again, as her resolve wavered at the memories that popped into her mind, she wouldn't show up on Wednesday; it would only complicate an already untenable situation. But oh how she wanted to escape already, wanted to forget what had driven her to that bar in the first place.

"Do what?" Jamie asked hurt evident at her cold tone.

"You don't get to ask me questions or care what I do."

"Jude." He said in frustration. "Look I know I messed up. But I love you! You know I always have." They had known each other since he had moved into his Nana's home next door to Jude when both of them had been four, his parents dying in a horrible car accident in Montreal, and they had been best friends ever since. They had made it through the trials of grade school and then even through high school even when she had dated someone else. And he had been her anchor and her only constant when her parents had separated and when her mother had run off to marry her divorce lawyer. He had never been more happy than when she had finally turned to him senior year, finally seeing him as more than just her ever faithful best friend. There was no one she had trusted more not to ever let her down, so when he had asked her to marry him at the prom she had said yes. Her mother had sold her and her older sister Sadie's childhood home out from under them, barely waiting for Jude to graduate from high school. Sadie had wound up in the university dorms and Jude and Jamie had wound up here in this not so great part of town that was off the bus line for the University.

"Don't you get it Jamie?" Her voice was laced with pain causing him to look down and away. "That's what makes it so much worse." If he had stopped caring that would have at least made sense as to how he could have slept with someone else. Then again she had done the same thing, albeit for entirely different reasons. She wanted to blame him for putting her in a position to have cheated, but deep down she knew it had been her choice. Just like it had been her choice to stay in that hotel room the entire night. He started into an explanation of how it didn't mean anything and Jude knew she had no strength to argue about that clichéd, tired old line so she cut him off decisively. "Look I don't want to talk right now. I'm not ready." She moved away, barely acknowledging his protest as she locked herself in the bathroom with her bag still on her shoulder.

When she came out forty five minutes later her hair was no longer a fiery red, but her natural born blond, hanging past her shoulder in loose curls. He looked at her almost sullenly from across the small living area. He thought she had changed it back simply to spite him, knowing he had always preferred her as a redhead, but even her motivation for that gesture was not that simple. Simple was now a mere memory.

**

__

Wednesday 12:06 p.m.

Jude peered up at the majestic building once again as she paced the sidewalk in front. This was so wrong. She couldn't compound her previous mistake by repeating it. Could she? He was just a dream. There was no way her memories recollected his sensual mouth right or those eyes, the ones that saw through her, properly. His mere presence could not be as distracting as she remembered. Maybe it was because she hadn't really slept in days, but her resistance was low. She wanted so badly to forget her life right now, she wanted him to erase her worries with his touch. She would just meet him for a minute to confirm the man she remembered was merely a mirage created by her desperate grasping imagination. She walked up to the crystal clean glass doors and the doorman took the old fashioned brass handle in his hand, opening it for her with a pleasant smile which she returned meekly. What would happen if she hadn't been wrong?

He waited impatiently, starting to wonder if she would show. Tommy Quincy had never been stood up before, then again he rarely had a second date, if indeed this was what this was. He glanced down at the newspaper left on the end table beside him, too worked up to read much more than the headline. When the blond walked into the lobby, it took him a moment before he recognized her, but those blue eyes were imprinted in his memory. He stood up from one of the cloth covered antique looking chairs in the middle of the floor abruptly, drawing her gaze his way. She looked unsure and wary, as their gazes locked across the large room. She realized then that she might be in trouble.


	5. Chapter 3

_okay my Word insert isn't working so I don't know if this will come out right. But anyway thanks for reading. ENJOY! _

_Bubblebuttsbabe: Yeah I totally agree Jude isn't any better, but it was Tommy she met and that was definitely why she had a hard time saying no. :)_

****

Chapter 3

__

Wednesday 11:47 a.m.

Kwest watched his friend, slightly irritated at the bouncing of the other man's leg and his fingers tapped on the soundboard, not remotely to the beat of the music pumping through the speakers. The constant glancing at the Breitling watch on his wrist, which Tommy normally never wore, was the only clue Kwest had to work with that he was waiting for something. When it was 11:50 Tommy apparently had had enough. His hand pressed down on the intercom button as he dismissed his artist of the day, mid-note. Kwest could only stare at his friend's odd behavior.

"I'm headed to lunch. I'll be back in a couple of hours." And Tommy was off like a shot, springing out of his chair and out of the room as Kwest watched him hurry away. Who took two hours for lunch? Tommy had done the same thing last week too, coming back late, completely uncharacteristically. If there was one thing Tommy was serious about it was making music, but he had kept the new band he was producing waiting. What day last week was it? He thought back to the ham and Swiss sub he had made. That was a Wednesday too. And Tommy had come back entirely too upbeat for Kwest, with a small self-satisfied grin that he couldn't wipe off his face, suggesting loudly what he had been up to.

.

_Monday 11:43 a.m._

"What?"

"Aaron stopped singing about three minutes ago." Tommy cleared his face and pushed the intercom button connecting him to the sound booth.

"Hey uh you sounded a little flat. Try that again from the first bridge." Of course he had no idea how it had sounded, he had been a bit preoccupied. Kwest eyed him strangely.

"I kind of thought he sounded a little off key." Tommy shrugged and turned his attention back to the man on the other side, pretending he was listening. He was glancing at his watch again about thirty seconds later. At 11:48 he dismissed Aaron and got up with a hurried 'see you later' before he left the building. Kwest had surmised it had to be a woman, but was a little surprised that Tommy was this invested in seeing her again. She must have been really good in bed.

**

_I dream of the first kiss_

_And who'll make the first move_

_Who's gonna put their heart on the line_

_It could be me_

_It could be you, tonight_

She needed to focus; this was important. Although it was actually an advanced music class she was taking her teacher had made an exception and allowed her into it even though she technically only had enough credits to be a freshman. She was only able to go to school part time, needing to work to help pay the bills. Secretly she was if not happy, at least content to only take the two to three classes a semester. She loved the ones that had to do with music, but she had never been good at concentrating on the ones that were required for any degree, that she didn't care for. Jude had to come up with three songs for her class final, to perform at the music showcase at the end of the semester. She had one song ready, but needed two more. The performance was sixty percent of her final grade. She grinned at the cheesy lyrics, remembering a time when she had been that naïve believing that music could save the world. It felt like she had lived an extra lifetime since she had been that innocent fifteen year old, even though she wasn't even twenty yet.

Her fingers tapped absentmindedly at her swollen lips and a sweet tingle of remembrance raced through her. She had seen him just a few hours ago and like always it had been mind-blowing. The fingers of her right hand went to her left, as she spun the silver band around in a habitual gesture as she tried to work out real lyrics, but her mind wasn't in it. Her heart was so divided these days, it was hard for her to say something solid. Her thoughts wandered back to the situation that was never far from her mind except when she was in his arms.

And it hit her hard all over again. She Jude Harrison…wait, right, not Harrison any more, not Harrison for over a year. She shook her head getting back to the startling truth. She had a lover; she who had hated cheaters after what her father had put her family through. And yet for some reason she couldn't stop seeing him. It had become regular occurrence now, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday before her class, during his extended lunch hour. She found weekends the hardest, too many days between them then. Even with work she could not escape the apartment and Jamie. They had settled into a strange kind of quasi relationship. She had told him she needed time and space, and surprisingly he had been giving it to her, but she knew this stasis could not last forever. They would really have to talk eventually and see if there was anything left to salvage between them. He had done the one thing he knew would hurt her the worst. He slept on the couch these days and she found many excuses to stay out of the apartment as much as possible. One night it would be to do inventory here, another to have coffee with one of the girls from her class or she just had to go visit Sadie. There were a multitude of reasons she had come up with, surprising even herself.

She could see it in his deep brown eyes that she was hurting him with her behavior, and that bothered her some, but she did not know how to stop or how to let go of the anger. How do you forgive something you consider the greatest sin ever dealt against you? Jamie of course had known how much her dad's inability to admit his affair to her mother had devastated Jude. He had held her as she cried over her parents crumbling relationship and then the nights her dad had not come home. He had known her better than anyone else in the world. He had known the dreams she had held of singing ever since she could remember. He had tried to convince her not to give up on her dream, but Jude realized now maybe he hadn't tried all that hard, when they had both been fifteen and she had been crushed. The pretty brunette came up to the counter interrupting Jude from her reverie. She rang up the woman's purchases automatically, her mind swamped with the life she did not want to deal with.

_Friday 11:38 a.m._

"I'm headed out."

"So who is she?"

"Who?" Tommy made a very halfhearted attempt at obfuscation, but his mind of course was elsewhere. Kwest controlled the urge to roll his eyes like some teenage girl.

"Ms. Wednesday. The one you're so hot to bang." Tommy was already halfway to the doorway, his careless response confirming Kwest's claim.

"She's…" He couldn't find the words to describe her. "Just a girl I met." That was the last thing he said before he was gone. Kwest shook his head at his friend's crazy split personality. Who was this woman?

.

_12:37._

Kwest looked up in surprise from the giant sandwich he had just taken a bite of, to the man who slumped in the chair beside him. Tommy had a black scowl on his face.

"That was quick." He mumbled through his stuffed mouth. Kwest took a large swallow of soda and tried again. "What happened?"

"Nothing…" Tommy grumbled.

"Then why are you in such a bad mood?"

"_Nothing_ happened. She didn't show." Kwest's eyes widened in understanding.

"Oh…." Tommy pulled out a bag of red licorice and took a vicious bite as he stared at the table aimlessly.

.

_Monday 11:48_

"I thought you were done with her?!" He finally exclaimed in frustration when Tommy had been staring aimlessly into the other room even though there was no artist in the sound booth right then.

"I need to see her." Tommy stood up as Kwest walked dumbfounded. Maybe something had happened to her and there would have been no way for Tommy to know.

"Did she have an explanation?"

"I haven't talked to her. I don't have her number." That took Kwest a moment to digest as Tommy disappeared again. Apparently she had showed this time, because his friend was not back until after two.


	6. Chapter 4

****

Chapter 4

__

Friday 12:04

He entered the lobby purposefully, his eyes scanning the room, stopping and catching her indigo ones before he strode over to the desk. The man behind the desk gave him his key with a minimum of fuss having witnessed this exact scene for countless afternoons and the employees of this establishment were paid well to be discreet even if the patron was famous as this one was. Tommy walked over to the elevator and pressed the button, staring up as the numbers began their descent. He squeezed the slender hand that slipped into his, not glancing over as the doors opened.

They were the only ones to enter the small space and as soon as the doors slid shut behind them, he had her pressed against the wall. His lips took hers hungrily as she responded with equal intensity, twining a hand around his neck to keep him close. Her other hand slipped underneath his jacket to feel the heat of his skin over his shirt. She started to pull up the hem when his mouth moved from her lips to her throat. She gasped as his he started to suck on her skin, his hands skimmed her ribcage just beneath her breasts, which now felt so heavy and liquid. They sprang apart in an instant at the ding of the elevator and he held her hand once again as they got off. They took the familiar corner to 1016. She waited impatiently as he tried to open the door without letting go of her hand, finally grabbing the key from him and doing it herself.

He pushed her into the room from behind and their lips met again a moment before the back of her knees hit the luxurious bed. He was covering her as his lips pressed down demanding entrance which she eagerly gave their tongues sliding together and retreating, doing a familiar dance. Her hands were at his jacket, helping him shrug it off as his hands went to her shirt. The need of skin touching skin was urgent as they removed their clothes with practiced ease. He admired the sexy black lace bra threaded through with midnight blue ribbon and matching g-string panties she wore. It was one of her secrets he had found, that she always wore sensual lingerie under her simple clothes. Then his hands found the clasp of her pushup demi-bra and unfastened it expertly. Next he made quick work of her panties, working his mouth from a taut nipple, trailing kisses down her stomach. His teeth nipped at her skin playfully and her laughter was soon replaced by moans.

Their first time was always a pounding need. It did not matter how many times they had already come together previously. When they were both unclothed Tommy slid to the thick carpeting on his knees. He pulled Jude down by her legs until the juncture of her thighs was at eye level. She rested on her elbows as he placed her legs on his shoulders. Fingers parted her moist folds and a tongue flicked out to catch the bundle of hidden nerves. She shuddered and let out a needy cry as his tongue traced a line along the sensitive folds of her flesh. He knew by now which tricks drove her wild and inserted two fingers curving them once he was in her. His tongue flicked out, stroking her as his finger pumped within her. Her fingers clawed the comforter as she let our uneven breaths. When he started to suck on her swollen nub she shattered on a scream.

Tommy did not give her time to recover before he took her legs off his shoulders and stood up. He pulled her legs until her hips were on the edge of the bed, his hands cupping her ass lifting her and pushing into her swiftly. He could feel that her muscles were still convulsing, squeezing him so sweetly. There was urgency as he thrust into her, needing to be as deep as he could go. His hands went to the ankles crossed behind him and pulled her legs apart wider, shifting them so he could lift them to his shoulders again. This angle had her gasping at his sharp long entry, bumping against her cervix. She let out erotic little noises at his filling her so completely. He pumped into her fast and deep, building towards his own release. Her second scream was the signal he needed to bury himself in her hot depths, letting out his own cry of pleasure.

He fell down beside her, his arm covering his brow as he caught his breath. He turned his head and their eyes met, in a moment of recognition.

"Hey." She grinned at him and gave him a purring 'hi' that shot straight to his lower body. His hand reached out and brushed her blond waves off her face. Tommy twisted to his side and leaned in to kiss her properly this time, tasting the faint hint of coffee she always drank and the cherry Chapstick she frequently used. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him over her, her legs encircled his hips. This time would be languorous and slow, letting them revel in every sensation, touch and texture. Something had changed between them along the way and Tommy couldn't pinpoint an exact moment that it had happened. But he had found himself wondering about her life outside of these four walls, wondering about what she did during her free time, what she studied at school, even who her friends were.

.

They had finally made it into the bed and both of them knew time was growing short. She had an afternoon class and he had to get back to work. Jude traced idle circles on his hard stomach, with her head resting on his chest.

"Jude." She turned her head up, her chin resting high on his abdomen. "I thought maybe we could take it out of here. Maybe I could take you out for dinner and I could show you my apartment." He tried to make the suggestion sound spontaneous, but the truth was he had been thinking of it for some time. Jude froze and then pulled the sheets more firmly under her breasts, moving away from him. Her heart had leapt for the briefest second, confirmation that this, their association was less superficial than it appeared on the surface.

"I…can't do that Tommy. I want to…But it's just not possible." Her voice was apologetic as icy fear raced through her body. They couldn't have feelings for one another. It wasn't allowed, so she tamped down what her heart really wanted from him. She stood up pulling the material off his perfect form, hiding her gaze as she reached down for her scattered clothing. She was having difficulty looking at him or even focusing on the simple task of putting her clothes back on.

"What are you hiding?"

"I can't tell you. And it wouldn't change anything anyway." The corners of his lips shifted down in agitation. That sounded exactly like the kind of non-answer he himself was famous for. And now he knew exactly how irritating it was.

"What's the big deal? It's just a date. It's not like I'm asking you to move in with me!" Jude flinched at his raised voice. She had had too many shouting matches in recent memory to appreciate this one from someone who wasn't really a part of her real life. Their meetings were fantasy, escape from the reality of her existence she sometimes had a hard time facing. He was the only thing that had ever made her forget.

"We aren't dating! You knew this was all I wanted." She gestured wildly at the bed as she pulled her panties up with one hand. They had agreed to be casual; she had known what kind of man he was when he had brought her here and he had never done anything to deny it. How could he change the rules now?!

"What? I'm good enough to fuck but nothing else?" Tommy could not help the words coming from his mouth and thought they sounded slightly familiar. Had one of the women he had slept with said something like that to him once?

"That's not how it is. We can't have anything else. I never promised you anything else!" Her attention was on her clothing again. Jude growled in frustration as she attempted to untangle the straps of her bra. Screw it he had seen her naked body countless times; why did she bother to be modest now? She let the sheet drop to the carpet and she quickly put on her clothes. He was still sitting on the bed watching her jerky movements. Then she reached for her light jacket and put it on ignoring him still. Tommy admitted defeat. He did not want to stop seeing her just because she didn't want go out with him. This was supposed to be every guy's dream, no strings, mind blowing sex and he was not going to be some wuss wanting flowers and violins.

"Monday?" She froze and looked over her shoulder at him. Her voice was hesitant and they both knew she didn't mean what she said.

"I don't know. I'll call you." He had finally managed to get her to take his number after the last time she had not been able to contact him about not coming. Tommy flopped back on the bed and sighed loudly when she shut the door firmly behind her. He wouldn't let himself believe this was over.


	7. Chapter 5

_Bubblebuttsbabe: I actually have more posted on DLS and thank you so much for reviewing. But since I'm not getting much of a response on here don't feel you have to ;)_

_To everyone who has left reviews good or bad thanks for taking the time._

**Chapter 5**

__

Twelve days later

Jude awoke with sunlight streaming into the cheap thin blinds, not remembering sleeping at all, she was still so tired. She stretched lazily and her lower back protested, aching slightly as it had the last few days. She wished, not for the first time, that they had the money for a new mattress instead of this one they had taken from Jamie's room at his Nana's house. The gaze on the clock confirmed that is was late, 10:03 a.m. and Jamie would already have left for classes hours ago. She hadn't even heard him come in to get clothes. The sigh that escaped from her throat was heavy as she remembered what she had to do today, even as her heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing him again.

**

Jude walked up to the reception desk hesitantly staring at the pretty dark curly haired receptionist, willing her to look up, afraid to be the first one to speak. She asked for Tommy and the woman eyed her suspiciously. Jude had not seen him since their last encounter and she hadn't wanted to meet him in the room again. Their memories there were too potent and would have distracted her from what she had to say.

"Tommy who?" Jude felt embarrassment creep into her cheeks, as she realized she didn't even know his full name; the man whom had touched her more intimately than anyone ever had; the man who had wrought reactions out of her that she hadn't known she was capable of. Even simply thinking of him like that made her nipples tighten underneath her clothes. What was wrong with her?!

"I don't know his last name." She admitted unwillingly as the other woman looked at her dismissively. Jude continued a little desperately before she could tell her to leave. "He's got light blue eyes, dark hair, a sun and moon tattoo on his finger?" Bonnie knew who she was talking about and thought this was extremely odd. Every now and then a Boyz Attack groupie would show up asking for Tommy, but this girl seemed too young to have been a fan back then and she apparently didn't even know who he was, but had been close enough to him to know about his tattoo. "Look could you just tell him Jude is here? He'll want to see me." At least Jude thought he would, even though she had left the last time with bad feelings all around. She wouldn't delve into why she was so confident he would want to see her; there were only so many truths she could handle at once. The woman nodded and Jude waited, glancing around idly as the woman made the call.

So this was what a record company looked like. There were framed posters of their artists on the walls, separated by framed gold albums and a lot of flashy gold trim too. Once this had been her dream, but she hadn't even been able to make the cut at the cheesy music talent contest she had tried out for at fifteen. Instead that girl Eden Taylor had won the contest, making Jude question if anyone who had anything to do with Instant Star realized she couldn't sing. Of course her album had predictably, at least in Jude's mind, tanked and that had been the last she had heard about Eden Taylor or Instant Star. Jude had decided then that an industry that thought image was more important than genuine talent wasn't one she wanted to be a part of. She hadn't been able to give up music completely, but decided to teach instead of sing. It had been what her mother had wanted for her, an education instead of a pipe dream. Of course Victoria hadn't stuck around long enough to see Jude go to university or even to graduate from high school. She had run off with her divorce lawyer right before the end of Jude's senior year. The woman hung up and nodded, smiling more pleasantly at her, giving her directions to Tommy's office. He was on the phone, so told Jude to come right up.

Jude started towards the stairs slowly, bracing herself for the conversation she did not truly want to have. For some reason this scared her more than telling Jamie the truth. For some reason she could not give name to, Tommy's reaction mattered.

"Hey, you one of the new interns?" A handsome tanned skinned man asked from a doorway she had started to walk past and Jude shook her head, still trying to figure out which office belonged to Tommy. He sighed in aggravation. "Can you carry a tune?" Jude nodded and started to walk again when he stopped her. "Could you do me a favor? Get in there." He pointed to the sound booth. "And sing something. I think the mike is acting up and I can't figure out if it's that or the soundboard."

"I…"

"Please?" He said so sincerely she didn't have the heart to refuse. Jude got in place in front of the microphone and looked at the man across the glass.

"What do you want me to sing?"

"Anything…Do you need some music?"

"No. I'm good." Kwest blinked in slight surprise, most people couldn't sing to key without music, but he went with it. What was the worst that could happen? He would suffer through another horrible rendition of Britney Spears Baby One More Time? He shuddered at that old memory of Eden Taylor, first and only Instant Star mangling an already mediocre song, and put it out of his mind. He focused his attention back on the slender blond in the other room.

Jude stood in front of the microphone completely comfortable, as if she had done this hundreds of times before and waited for his signal. There was one song that she had been working on running through her head.

_._

_There's Me  
Looking Down At My Shoes  
The One Smiling Like The Sun  
That's You  
What Were You Thinking  
What Was The Song Inside Your Head  
There's Us  
Going On About A Band  
Working Out How We Play Our Hands  
I Lay There Dreaming  
Later All Alone In My Bed_

She looked at him questioningly after the first verse and he nodded at her to keep going, his Spidey sense already tingling. Tommy had gone out searching for Jude since she had not shown up in his office. A slight unease filled him that she could have changed her mind and left seized him. The strong melodic voice coming from the open studio door made him pause and he popped his head in to hear it more clearly.

_If I Was Stupid  
Maybe Careless  
So Were You_

_Not Everything Is Supposed To Come True  
Some Words Are Best Unsaid  
Some Love Is Not Really Love At All  
I'll Keep Everything I Shared With You  
And That's Enough  
There's Us_

_Freeze-frame  
I'm Not About To Cry  
It's Too Late For Us To Change  
Why Try  
I've Got A Camera  
Tucked Away Inside My Heart_

_If I'm A Loser  
Or Just Unlucky  
So Are You_

_Not Everything Is Supposed To Come True  
Some Words Are Best Unsaid  
Some Love Is Not Really Love At All  
I'll Keep Everything I Shared With You  
And That's Enough  
There's Us_

_Somewhere Between Then And Now  
I Look Away When You Said We'll Never Change  
And If You Think What Might Have Been  
You'll Lose Today And We've Got Songs To Play_

_.  
_"I didn't know we had a new singer. She's amazing. Almost perfect pitch." Kwest commented. Tommy saw her then and his breath caught. He was transfixed by the expression of joy on her face, eyes closed as she belted out the song. This was what she was meant for. Why was she wasting her time working at a record store and going to school part time? And he wondered who the song was about, having caught hints that there had been someone in her past that put shadows into those beautiful big eyes.

"She's not a singer."

"Huh? You know her?"

"She's Jude…"

"Ms. Wednesday?" Kwest whistled. "Leave you to find a voice like that. And do you recognize the song?" Tommy shook his head, puzzling over that too. It was rough, but the lyrics and the tune were full of potential.

_Not Everything Is Supposed To Come True  
Some Words Are Best Unsaid  
Some Love Is Not Really Love At All  
I'll Keep Everything I Shared With You  
And That's Enough  
There's Us  
Not Everything Is Supposed To Come True  
Some Words Are Best Unsaid  
Some Love Is Not Really Love At All  
I'll Keep Everything I Shared With You  
And That's Enough  
There's Us_

_There's Us_

_There's Us_

Jude finished the song and opened her eyes noticing the intent ice blue eyes upon her. She flushed, realizing he must have been listening for awhile now. She met him by the door and he placed a hand at the small of her back, leading her upstairs to his office.

**

"Look…" Tommy said at the same moment Jude spoke. "Tommy I…" There was a flicker of amusement before he gestured for Jude to go first. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry about the other day. I had no right to pry into your life. I just…I want to spend more time with you." The words shouldn't have hurt her, but they did. He would hate her once she told him what she had come for.

"Will you sit? I have to tell you something." He sat in his chair and watched her a little warily now as she took one of the visitor chairs.

"Remember in the beginning when you asked me if I had a boyfriend."

"You do?" He sat up straighter.

"No…" Her big blue eyes looked pained as she stared into his. "Husband." He was up like a shot, walking over to pull her out of the chair by her upper arms.

"You're married?!" She ducked her head and nodded miserably, trying hard to find the strength to say her real reason for being here. He found the look on her face so utterly heartbreaking his finger tipped her chin up. She looked at him in confusion, as his lips descended with the lightest pressure like a butterfly's wing. "I don't care." Jude closed her eyes, her brain unable to grasp what he was thinking. She finally managed to step back, he letting go of her.

"That's not the reason I came here to look for you though. I had a stomach bug when I told you I was sick." It had been that one time she had not shown up for their rendezvous and he had been uncharacteristically worried about her. She of course had been in no shape to leave the apartment that day or the next, unable to keep anything down, missing two of her classes and two shifts at work. Even when she had shown up on Monday he could tell she hadn't been a hundred percent yet. She had been pale and slightly weak, not that that had stopped him from touching her. She couldn't help but remember that day when he had been uncharacteristically gentle, making sure her needs came first and even ordering chicken soup from room service afterwards to get something into her system. In so many ways it was clear that day was a turning point for them although neither consciously acknowledged his act of tenderness.

He nodded. Of course he remembered being worried about her. "I guess all the throwing up screwed up the dosage of my birth control." It took a minute for the words to really sink in. The condom had broken that one time. And then he remembered the other times he had not been able to stop once he had known she was on the Pill.

"You're pregnant?" He uttered in a monotone. She nodded her head jerkily, letting her golden waves hide her face. "Is it mine?"

"I haven't slept with him since…in a longtime." His eyes met hers and she could see all the questions he left unasked. He had not slept with anyone else either, making his best friend think he had finally fallen. And he had, for a married woman, barely more than a girl. How was that for irony? The consummate playboy, finally finding someone who could possibly change him and she was unattainable. "That night…at the bar. I was there alone because he had just admitted that he had cheated on me." That explained a lot, then a question occurred to him.

"Was I the way to get back at him then?" Jude looked up again and shrugged, not really sure of the answer herself. There had always been something about Tommy that she connected to, even before he had suggested they leave together.

"I was so hurt and angry. I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. I mean we've always been attracted to each other." She gestured between them and he bobbed his head in agreement. "But I…Yeah I think you were." It was all she was willing to admit to at least. He clenched his hands into fists, wanting to punch a hole through the desk, through the wall, anything to get rid of the hurt and anger roiling through him. "But you didn't really care why I went to the hotel room with you then, did you?" He was even angrier that she had called him on that. It was true he hadn't cared why she went willingly with him, he had simply wanted to fuck her so badly. She had effected him so much as a stranger and then it just got more intense as he started to know her. He might not know where she was from or what she studied in school, but he knew she liked seafood and strawberries and rarely drank except for that night they had met. He knew she had guitar calluses on her hands and he had kissed everyone of them at one point. He knew if he blew on the skin at the dip of her spine she let out a moan that turned him on even more. He knew her and yet he didn't. He sat down heavily in the chair beside hers.

"And later?"

"I couldn't stay away. I was like this totally different Jude than the one I had been all my life. You made me forget my life. I felt I don't know…so much. I felt so alive for the first time. I guess I just didn't want to stop feeling that." He froze in wonder because that's how she had made him feel. It had been like the rush of performing on stage, but so much more intimate. "Anyway now you know." He saw the movement of her arm resting in front of her stomach as if shielding it. "I guess I should go."

"Wait…" He managed to say, so she looked up with her brows scrunched as she looked back at him from the doorway. "Can I have your number?" He felt like such an ass saying that, it was beyond absurd. He had known her for months, known her more intimately than he suspected her husband did and he hadn't even known her phone number. She walked back to his desk and found a loose piece of paper to write on. "How did you know I worked here anyway?"

"I saw you come in…after one of the afternoons, while I was walking by." She turned to leave and this time he did not stop her. She turned back to him at the doorway.

"Tommy?"

"Yeah Jude?"

"What's your last name?" It stunned him for a moment to realize they had never exchanged their full names.

"Quincy. Yours?" She hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Andrews. My maiden name is Harrison."

"Jude Harrison?" He disregarded the first part, not wanting to think about another man's claim upon her. She rolled her eyes and nodded. Jude could tell he had made the Beatles reference. He did work in the music industry after all and it wasn't exactly an obscure song.

"My dad had issues. My sister's name is Sadie." And Tommy let out an unexpected laugh. She waved once and walked away while he watched her retreat into the hallway and down the stairs.

Tommy Quincy? Jude suddenly felt very strange as she realized who her lover was. Little Tommy Q former Boyz Attack member, her sister's girlhood crush. This could not be happening. A burst of hysterical laughter threatened to escape from her mouth, which she barely stifled with her hand to her mouth, causing the woman at reception to look at her strangely.

**

He sat back in his chair closing his eyes as his mind roiled in utter chaos. He hadn't asked nearly enough questions, like whether or not she planned on keeping it, the baby. His baby, theirs. There was fear there, but also a strange exhilaration. What would she tell her husband? Did she plan on staying with him? How could she? Tommy could tell her heart was not with the other man, at least he thought he could. Why had he let her leave? He looked up at the tap on the door before Kwest walked in, taking in Tommy's pale face.

"What happened?"

"She had some stuff to tell me."

"She jailbait?" Tommy's eyes shot to Kwest a scowl on his face. "What? She looks pretty young." And she was. Tommy never really thought about the fact that she was seven years younger than him. He didn't see that when he looked at her, simply enjoying every facet of her presence when they were together. And he knew it hadn't been just sex and had to admit that scared him a little.

"She's almost twenty." Tommy explained through gritted teeth.

"You're screwing a teenager?" Kwest shook his head in admiration.

"She's married." Kwest blinked.

"Say that again."

"You heard me. That's one of the things she wanted to tell me."

"And you didn't know this? I mean didn't you suspect? Quickies in hotel rooms at lunchtime?"

"She's only nineteen man. I figured she was too young." Kwest snorted and looked pointedly at him. "Yeah I know I was eighteen when I married Portia. That's not the point though."

"So why are you really so wrecked? Marriage has never stopped you before."

"She's pregnant."

"Holy shit. Is it yours?" Tommy nodded. "How can you be sure?"

"Her old man cheated on her, so she hasn't slept with him since she met me."

"And you believe her? I mean come on man. How many paternity suits have you been slapped with?" Tommy shook his head in response.

"She's not like that Kwest. Jude's different." She had never asked for anything from him and he knew it probably would never have occurred to her to.

"Okay why aren't you freaking out?" Tommy was the last person Kwest would expect to be calm about finding out he had impregnated a married woman or any woman for that matter. "Shit you're falling for her!" Kwest exclaimed in shock.

"No." Tommy denied a beat too slowly to make it truth. "I barely know her."

"Sometimes that doesn't matter." Kwest shook his knowingly, bemused to see his friend missing that cool façade he had perfected over the years_._


	8. Chapter 6

_Shadowgoddess1: Thanks for your answer to the lack of reviews. It's just I've never had that problem with my other stories cuz I know there are readers on here that don't go on DLS. At least my traffic count thinks so. ;) Thanks for taking the time though._

_Bubblebutssbabe: yeah they were kind of abrupt. I think bc, essentially they are strangers and Jude is still processing too._

_Anyway everyone thanks for reading and ENJOY_!

**Chapter 6**

Jude walked down the street, feeling completely lost. She didn't know what she was going to do. She couldn't stay at the apartment right now. Being that close to Jamie just felt wrong now that she had acknowledged her secret to Tommy. When her thoughts wandered to Tommy she had to wonder what she had gotten herself into. Who was this man she had unwittingly gotten so close to?

****

**

Jude let herself into their small apartment and immediately went to the kitchen table to turn on her laptop. She typed his name in and thousands of results flooded in. She started to read with growing apprehension as article after news tidbit told the same basic story. He was a serial womanizer and hadn't ever been linked with a woman more than a few times. She stood up quickly and headed to the bedroom where she started to pack a few things into her bag. There was no way she could stay here tonight.

Jude speed dialed on her cell phone as she got toiletries from the bathroom. After a couple of rings she finally picked up, sounding slightly out of breath.

"Hello."

"Hey Sades. Can I come over?"

"Sure of course. When?"

"Right now."

**

Sadie took one look at her sister's forlorn expression and stuffed bag and opened her arms for Jude to step into her hug.

"So what happened?" Sadie sighed as she led her sister into the room. Jude dropped her bag on the floor by the closet and plopped down on Sadie's bed.

"Your sister is a moron." Jude stated.

"Not that I'm going to argue, but is there a specific reason you're saying this now?" Sadie was worried when her sister did not even raise an eyebrow to the bait. Jude didn't want to say it out loud, fearing how her sister would see her after this, but it needed to be done. After their parents divorce they were all the family the other could depend on. Their father had made overtures towards both of them, but only Sadie had kept in any semblance of contact. Jude had hero-worshipped him growing up and they had been so close, so when he had cheated she had taken it much harder than Sadie.

"Sadie I'm pregnant." Sadie paused and stared at her sister for a moment before speaking.

"What were you thinking Jude? I mean getting married at eighteen was stupid, but this…You two have no money, no education. What does Jamie think about this?"

"He doesn't know." It was barely above a whisper.

"Why haven't you told him?"

"Jamie confessed a few months back that he cheated on me."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sadie asked softly, stunned that the geeky neighbor boy she had known as long as Jude had, was capable of something like that. Sadie had thought Jude was crazy for getting involved with him. Sadie had always felt Jude treated him like a brother more than a boyfriend. Her sister could have done so much better. Jude was so young when she got married and Sadie suspected she had never experienced the true passion of falling in love or meeting someone she was truly attracted to.

"I didn't know how to tell anyone. I just wanted to pretend it never happened."

"So you forgave him?" Not understanding how Jude could have slept with Jamie after finding out something like that. Jude shook her head.

"I went to a bar the night he told me and met this guy. He took me to a hotel." Jude had cheated on Jamie? Loyal, faithful Jude?! Sadie looked at her sister with wide eyes, taking in something she had never thought a part of her sister's character.

"You hooked up with this random guy one night and got knocked up? Only you Jude."

"Actually it was more than once…" Sadie blinked at her slightly naïve little sister, reassessing her.

"How long?" Jude squirmed uncomfortably, facing the idea that she had been seeing Tommy for months without realizing it.

"I was seeing him a few times a week." There was a long pause as Sadie stared dumbfounded at her sweet little sister who had been a virgin on her wedding night. But she had known something was going on with her little sister. She had been so lighthearted and dreamy eyed for weeks now. Sadie had mentioned it once, but Jude had vehemently denied anything unusual going on.

.

__

"You know if you weren't with Jamie I would think you've got a crush on someone." Sadie's random remark hit too close to home and Jude's little smile turned into a frown as she tried to keep the panic from showing. They were enjoying the late Spring day in the park by school with a picnic lunch Sadie had prepared. She had gotten all the homemaker genes in the family while Jude barely survived on peanut butter sandwiches and macaroni and cheese.

"What are you talking about?"

"You. You weren't even this bubbly after you came back from eloping with Jamie." Actually Jude had seemed her normal self after what should have been a momentous occasion, leading Sadie to believe that it wasn't something she had really wanted.

"It's just the warm weather. The sun shining and the birds are singing." Jude said lightly causing Sadie to give her a funny look. She had known her sister as long as anyone and Jude looked truly happy for the first time in a longtime; maybe not since they had both been in high school and their parents still together. Jude closed her eyes and leaned back letting the warmth caress her face as she thought about light touches on her skin from another source.

.

"Does Jamie know?" Jude shook her head. "So who is this guy?" Now of course the truth was out and Sadie was worried. It was one thing to hook up with a guy you pick up at a bar, but entirely another to get fixated on him or think it would turn into something else, especially since you were still technically married. Her younger sister was still so innocent in so many ways. Being married to Jamie wouldn't exactly have given her all the life experience in the world.

"Let me ask you a question first." Sadie waited impatiently. "What was your biggest goal when you were fourteen?" Sadie rolled her eyes, of course not getting the relevance of the question.

"Uh to be the president of the United States?"

"Uh we're Canadian." Sadie simply shrugged. "And I meant concerning a guy you idiot."

"Getting Matt Acton to ask me to the Spring dance?"

"No I mean like your dream."

"Having Little Tommy Q's love child?" Jude stared at her sister intently as Sadie's mouth gaped in shock. Then she composed her features into a more becoming expression. Sadie was the type that was always conscious of her appearance, even when alone with her sister.

"Ha ha nice one Jude. You have got the most twisted sense of humor. Seriously who is this guy?" Jude's eyes were somber as she gazed into her sister's blue ones.

"He's a producer now Sadie. He's been working at G-major." Sadie rolled her eyes again and shook her head at her sister. Growing up, Sadie's love of all things Boyz Attack had been a constant cause of Jude's mockery. When it finally sunk in that her sister was dead serious Sadie screeched.

"Holy shit! No way!" Jude blinked owlishly; her perfect sister hardly ever swore. "No…" Sadie repeated, unable to believe her sister was telling the truth, but Jude still looked somber and stressed out. "You were sleeping with Little Tommy Q and you didn't tell me?!" There was definitely nothing _little _about Tommy Q, Jude thought dryly, but decided her sister really did not need to know that.

"I didn't know!"

"What?! How could you not know who he was?!"

"It never came up." Jude looked down shamefaced. Her thinking had been the less she knew the better. He had been a fantasy, not someone she would ever figure into the real world. Their stolen moments had been exactly that, stolen, taken from normal life.

"Didn't you recognize him?"

"Obviously no. It's not like I was a Boyz Attack fan and it's been like eight years since they were around."

"Seven." Sadie muttered as her mind reeled from all the things Jude had said. "So what did Tommy say when you told him?" Jude shrugged again.

"Not much. I didn't give him much time before I was out of there."

"He's partly responsible too."

"I know." He hadn't been flipped out or anything like Jude had half expected or denied that he could be the father. That was one good thing wasn't it? She decided to give him some time to come to terms with her news and let him do the calling. Little did she know Tommy Quincy wasn't one to sit around.

"What did you tell Jamie?" The old familiar guilty look Jude could not hide, flashed across her face. "Did you at least tell him you were staying here?" Jude shook her head and Sadie sighed. "Jude." She said it in her mom voice and Jude had never reacted well to that.

"I don't know what to say Sadie. He hurt me. But he was always there for me before." She crumpled then and Sadie hugged her tight.

"Shh… It's going to work out Jude. I'll always be there for you. Just call him and tell him you wanna spend time with me okay? That you need to think." Jude nodded against her sister's hair.

"Hello." Jude said absentmindedly as she placed the CD back on the shelf and moved to the next in her basket. It took her a second to place the voice; like a lot of people Tommy's voice didn't sound the same on the line as it did in real life. Surprise was an understatement; it had only been two days since she had gone to see him at G-Major.

****

**

She was perched on the edge of an overstuffed burgundy chair at the back of the coffee shop, with a steaming mug in her hands, her attention caught by the raindrops sliding down the glass pane.

"Hey." He said it softly so as not to scare her and she looked up at his voice, their eyes catching for just a hint of a moment before she looked away back to her cup. "I'll be right back." Tommy nodded his head towards the line at the counter.

"Okay." He returned in a few minutes with his own smaller cup, sitting in the blue chair besides hers, separated by a small end table.

"So how have you been?" She shrugged as she put her mug down and he followed the movement to see the translucent liquid in the cup.

"No coffee?" He asked in mild surprise, knowing they shared a love of the stuff.

"Um no caffeine and I actually haven't really felt like having it."

"Oh…right." They fell into another brief uncomfortable silence. He drank some of his double espresso, letting the hot liquid burn down his throat. "Jude." She looked up at his voice, her big blue eyes looking almost too big for her delicate face. "Can I ask you some stuff?"

"Of course."

"Are you…planning on keeping it?" Her face scrunched up in surprise at his question; she had never thought of an alternative. "Not that I'm saying you shouldn't." He backtracked. She gave a small self-deprecating laugh.

"My life is a total mess right now and I can barely take care of myself. I mean I have years of school left and I'm working part time. But yeah…I'll figure something out." Tommy let out a breath he hadn't been aware he had been holding. If she had wanted a termination there wouldn't have been anything he could have done to stop her.

"This is weird isn't it?" She answered his small smile with one of her own. "So what are your plans?" Jude sighed heavily and looked out the window again.

"I really don't know. I mean I know I can't stay with Jamie." She hadn't had the guts to tell him yet, knowing their years of friendship would be over.

"Do you have somewhere to go?"

"Well I can bunk in my sister's dorm room until the end of the semester."

"Sadie?" She nodded a little surprised he had remembered, even if it had been only a couple of days ago. "And after?' She shrugged again and picked up the tea to take a sip now that it had cooled some. "Look if you need a place to stay I have a spare room. I don't want you to have to go back to him if you don't want to." He found himself making the offer without conscious thought. He had always been a private person, exacerbated by being crammed in a bus with his four other fellow band members for months on end. There had been many benefits to being in a popular boy band, sharing close quarters had not been one of them.

"Thanks. But I don't think that's a good idea." The way she shot down the offer so quickly, bothered him more than he would admit to himself. His reputation alone should have scared her off at this point, but something in her trusted him and she didn't know if she could trust her own judgment at this point. _Notorious playboy_! She fought to remind herself, but when she looked at him he was just Tommy to her, the guy she had spent wicked afternoons playing with.

"Jude I want to be there for you through this." She bit her lower lip, taking time to find the right words, but failing as she always did. The only way she had ever been good at expressing herself was through lyrics.

"I'm just not ready to do this yet Tommy. I know I sound incredibly immature and selfish, but I have this music showcase coming up and I just want to concentrate on that for now."

"Is that what your major is?"

"Music and teaching." They continued to talk through the afternoon, learning a little more about one another, never delving back to the taboo subject. It became easier as they offered small facts and experiences, and they found a common love of music. He was different than she expected of a former boybander. He actually knew good music and was a dedicated producer.

"One secret come on." He cajoled as he bit into a chocolate chip cookie off a plate he had ordered after they both found they were hungry.

"Here's something you'll think is funny. I tried out for Instant Star when I was fifteen." He chewed and swallowed quickly, staring at her.

"I can't believe I never heard of you." He had not been one of the judges, but had met the finalists back then. From what he had heard the other day, she should have made the finals, her talent glaringly obvious. Jude shrugged, a trace of that old loss giving a small twinge in her gut.

"I wasn't what they were looking for I guess. I didn't have the right packaging." Tommy grinned at her. "What?"

"I would have been your producer." He commented and it was her turn to give him a surprised look.

"You produced that talentless bitch?" He laughed at her outspokenness.

"Tell me how you really feel." She flushed at her rudeness.

"I'm sorry I just never got why she won." Tommy nodded, agreeing completely and sighed. His friend Georgia Bevans had owned the company back then and maybe if she hadn't let her assistant EJ talk her into that piece of blond fluff Eden Taylor, she would have been able to save the company. Then again they had been having money problems way before that, so maybe it had been inevitable that Darius Mills would have bought G-Major not long after.

"Try having to get that voice to sound passably decent." She grinned and put her hand on top of his.

"I feel for you."

"A little less sarcasm and you might actually sound convincing." Her smile was contagious, until she looked down at her cell phone on the table. It was getting late and she still had assignments to do.

"I should go."

"Can I call you tomorrow?" She closed her eyes, her mind crammed full of too much.

"Tommy don't take this the wrong way. But I really need to concentrate on my showcase and I need time to think." He frowned, not liking her answer in the least. He wasn't the type to wait around for someone else to dictate how things went. "Look I promise I'll call you. All of this though. It's a lot." What could he do but agree? He didn't want to risk alienating her or having her disappear completely. She promised to contact him once she got things somewhat settled and he reluctantly agreed. Watching her walk away with everything unresolved was probably one of the hardest things he had ever had to do.


	9. Chapter 7

_Music is Don't Speak by No Doubt. ENJOY!_

**Chapter 7**

Tommy had a revelation as he sat at his desk for the umpteenth day in a row, unable to concentrate on his paperwork. He twirled the pen in his fingers as his thoughts were drawn back to her again. Except for one brief uncomfortable phone call they had had no contact for two weeks now. He was an impatient man and it had taken a great deal of self control to give her the time and space she had asked for. Tommy stopped fighting his natural instincts. He had always gone after what he wanted, starting when he had been a kid going after a spot in Boyz Attack. Things came more easily to him nowadays, but he never forgot where he came from. He knew what he had to do now and he wouldn't be waiting around, futilely, for her to make the first move.

"Hey Tom, it's been a long time." Tommy reached down and shook the proffered hand of the thirty something spiky brown haired man with a diamond stud in one ear, sitting in one of the lounge area chairs.  
"Good to see you Jeff. How's it going?" Tommy sat down easily next to him, speaking a little louder than usual because of the din of the crowd. The house lights were brighter than usual since it was intermission before the students the reps had really come to see came on stage.  
"I've been good. What brings G-Major's top producer to a student showcase?" He asked with interest. Tommy caught the eye of the woman serving their section and asked for a beer when she came up to them, waiting for Jeff to put in his own order. "You suddenly change jobs?"  
"Someone I came to see."  
"Care to share?" Jeff asked with unconcealed interest. Once in a while there was someone worth his time at one of these events, but not usually. Although from rival companies they were on friendly terms, but Jeff would steal an artist from under him if he or she was good enough.  
"It's personal." Not that he didn't want to hear her sing with accompanying music this time. He wanted to know if the other song had been a fluke, but suspected it wasn't and she was as talented as he had gotten the impression that she was. Jeff nodded although he did not necessarily buy into Tommy's brief explanation. He would watch out for which performer sparked Tommy's interest.

.

"I would be screaming how unfair McCormack was if we weren't going on after intermission."  
"What are you talking about Mase?" Jude asked her fellow classmate and friend, Mason Fox distractedly, her mind reviewing her music. They stood backstage waiting their turn to sing as the others from their class milled around busily getting ready.  
"Duh I know all you care about is passing this class, but I can't believe you didn't know. McCormack always leaves the best from her class to go after intermission so the A & R reps don't have to sit through everyone's performance." Jude shrugged, barely acknowledging her friend's words over the knots in her stomach. "Looks like they're all here!" Mason said excitedly from behind Jude as they peered out into the dark club.  
"Reps?" Jude asked curiously as his words finally sank in and her gaze moved to the first student after intermission setting up.  
"I know you're only taking this class for your music credit, but I can't believe you didn't pay attention when the professor told us the local record companies always send a talent scout to this gig." Jude vaguely remembered something about it, but she had zoned out since she hadn't been interested in being heard. "Mmm and one of them looks fine. I could swear I've seen him somewhere." Mason puzzled finally catching all of her attention. Jude followed his gaze to the back of the club, at a roped off lounge area where three men and one woman sat. "Do you recognize him?" She didn't know her heart rate could pick up exponentially from its already panicked thrumming and yet despite that her body felt frozen in place. She knew that dark hair well and although she couldn't see the eyes at this distance she knew they were the pale blue of a winter sky.  
"Tommy…" She breathed. Mason's mouth opened in shock as recognition shook him.  
"Little Tommy Q from Boyz Attack?! Are you sure?" She nodded wordlessly her gaze still fixed on the man who could not see her watching him. "Wonder who he works for."  
"G-Major." She volunteered absentmindedly. But he was a producer not a talent scout so what was he doing here? Jude was afraid he she knew the answer. She had wanted to call him, but had not known what to say after that awkward phone conversation. She still didn't have all the answers to the questions he was sure to ask.  
"You know him!" Mason accused loudly and then ducked in embarrassment as the others in the area turned to glare at him. One of their classmates was performing on the piano on stage and he had been almost loud enough to be heard on the floor. Jude shrugged, unwilling to explain. "We are talking later woman." He whispered vehemently into her ear and she nodded distractedly as her gaze was once again drawn to him, even as people in the crowd blocked Tommy from her view. Mason was on next and Jude hugged him for luck before breathing a sigh of relief at being spared the interrogation. She didn't know if it applied to all gay men, but this one was nosy as all hell even when he pretended otherwise.

.

Jude finished with a song that quieted the house in it's perfection. Her emotion was evident in every piece she had done, but this one was exceptional. The side conversations had stopped as soon as she had opened her mouth to belt out her first note and she held their attention still. Her voice was strong as she let the music takeover and the confidence settled into her belly finally, knowing they were riveted on her performance. She sang all the things she didn't know how to say to Jamie, feeling a kind of catharsis to be able to get this out.

_You and me  
We used to be together  
Every day together, always_

_I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end_

_It looks as though you're letting go  
And if it's real,  
Well I don't want to know_

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_

_Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_

_Your memories  
They can be inviting  
But some are altogether  
Mighty frightening_

_As we die, both you and I  
With my head in my hands  
I sit and cry_

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
No no no don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_

_It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are..._

_You and me  
I can see us dying ... are we?_

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_

_No no no don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_

_I know what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't speak  
Don't speak  
Don't speak….no_

_I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
I know you're good  
I know you're good  
I know you're real good…Oh_

_La la la la la  
La la la la la  
Don't, don't, don't  
Hush hush darling  
Hush hush darling  
Hush hush  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_

_Hush hush darling  
Hush hush darling  
Hush hush  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_

She closed her eyes as the last notes faded, letting her head fall for a single moment before the crowd drowned her in applause. And when she opened them again they locked on his, he having moved onto the dance floor closer to the stage, drawn by her. She bowed once and walked off the stage before her back up band had a chance to catch their breath.

.

"You were amazing." He was honest in his praise; there were seasoned professionals that couldn't hold a crowd rapt like she had. Jude braced herself and turned at the familiar raspy voice. Of course she had expected him to find her afterwards, not being for a second convinced he was just here for work.  
"I just did this to pass my class." She lied so unconvincingly he didn't even count it as such. She was at home on that stage, drawing the audience in as any good performer could. He hadn't come to talk about her music though, no matter how interested he now was in hers.  
"How have you been?" He asked in a low voice she still heard in the din of the crowded club. She hated the look he was directing at her with a passion because it was turning her weak with an unnamed emotion she could not afford.  
"I've been okay. What about you?" He shrugged as his eyes lingered on her face. She fidgeted nervously at his intense scrutiny. "I was going to call you." She volunteered a little desperately, unable to meet his eyes. And it was true she had been. She was in a situation with few choices that she could live with and although she doubted this decision it seemed like the best one for the moment.  
"Really?" She nodded her affirmation. "That's good to know. Was there something you wanted to talk about?" He was tense as he waited for her to speak. Jude took a deep breath and plunged right in.  
"So is that guest room still available?" Sadie was graduating in a couple of days and moving into a room she had sublet from a friend who was backpacking through Europe before settling into the real world. Jude had few options, only knowing she could not go back to the apartment she shared with Jamie now, carrying another man's baby. That part still seemed surreal to her. His shoulders relaxed marginally as he looked into her bright blue eyes. A small smirk graced his face and he felt more like himself for the first time since she had confronted him in his office.  
"Well…I was thinking maybe you wouldn't need the guest room." She knew what he meant and it was so tempting. She had missed his touch and she had always felt so safe in his embrace as cheesy as it sounded.  
"Wouldn't that just complicate things even more?" His hand reached out to brush the hair off her cheek, caressing the ivory skin softly and she allowed this small indulgence.  
"You're not a simple woman." Why did those words and his penetrating gaze make her believe even for an instant that he saw right through her, when she often felt like her husband did not see her at all?

.

There was an unacknowledged fear in his gut from watching her perform on the stage. She had been incredible, good enough to be on the radio without little change and it chilled him, reminding him of a time when she could so easily have left him behind to pursue dreams that he had no hope of competing with. The songs she had created worried him a bit, but he wouldn't let himself believe that she had written him off. He was her husband and they had made promises to one another and he had loved her since the moment he had laid eyes on the blond haired angel swinging in her backyard all those years ago. He was doubly glad she had given up her aspirations of being a musician, believing that this course was better for her in the long run. He had come to support her and maybe try for reconciliation. All he needed was one chance to change her mind. It had been hard to come home and find her gone that day two weeks ago, but he knew she needed time and he had deserved it. If their positions were reversed he didn't know what he would have done. As he turned to look for her by the stage he froze as he watched the unexpected scene unfold before him.  
Jude was beautiful and vibrant, so of course men flirted with her, but before she had never really noticed them, treating them like she did all her male friends, with a marked indifference to their personal interest in her. Now however he could see his wife responding in kind to the attractive dark haired man standing a little too close, speaking a little too intimately for his liking. She was his and he wasn't going to let some overdressed sleaze charm her!

.

"Jude." Tommy dropped his hand and they both turned to the tall young man with thick black rimmed glasses staring at them accusingly. He walked up to them and stepped almost between them.  
"Jamie. What are you doing here?" Jude was a little puzzled because Jamie had never seemed interested in the showcase before when she had mentioned it. Tommy looked more closely now, taking in the army pants and black anime t-shirt. This was Jude's husband? He didn't know whether to feel relieved or disgusted at the guy's attitude.  
"I wanted to come support you." Jamie's gaze fell to Tommy once again. "Who is he?" Jude's eyes darted between them frantically as she searched for the right answer. Tommy spoke for her lifting his arm for a handshake.  
"I'm Tom Quincy. I'm doing a little scouting for G-Major tonight."  
"Little Tommy Q from Boyz Attack?" Jude winced at Jamie's blunt rudeness.  
"He's a producer." Jude added to try and ease the tension.  
"Didn't hear G-major was so hard up they had to send producers to these gigs." Jude knew he was lashing out, out of jealousy because discovering artists had always been Jamie's dream, but her cheeks still reddened in embarrassment at the way he was acting in front of Tommy.  
"Jude's got a lot of talent. She should pursue it."  
"She's not a singer." Jamie said it automatically, and Jude tensed at his matter of fact tone. Once upon a time that had been all she had wanted and he knew that! How could he so callously just dismiss it as if Tommy was wrong and she had no talent? Tommy did not miss the slight tone of scorn lacing the kid's words. When Tommy made no move to leave them alone Jamie spoke again, in a misguided attempt to stake his territory. "Hey man if you don't mind I need to talk to my wife." Jude caught Tommy's eye and he nodded once, not wanting to add to her almost tangible level of stress.  
"Good to meet you Jamie." Tommy said with the slightest hint of sarcasm before he walked back to his table and ordered another drink.  
"Jude…I've given you time…I miss you. Are you ever going to come home? You can't stay in Sadie's dorm room forever." Of course she couldn't since Sadie was moving out.  
"She's subletting a room in an apartment off campus after graduation." Jude reminded him.  
"Oh yeah I guess I forgot." Jamie ran his fingers through his messy hair and took in her appearance. "I miss you Jude." Jude closed her eyes for a moment, wanting the closeness they used to share and knowing they might never get it back.  
"Actually Jamie I was going to call you tomorrow."  
"Call? Jude please. I am so sorry I hurt you. What else can I do?" The slight whine in his voice frayed her nerves.  
"I can't do this. I found a place to stay."  
"What about us Jude?"  
"You cheated on me Jamie! That was the one promise you weren't supposed to break!" Why did it surprise her that it still hurt like it had happened yesterday. Then again, as she studied his familiar face, it could have and she wouldn't know it. That loss of trust was a pang in her heart. He had been her best friend, that betrayal had almost been worse.  
"I messed up alright? I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you." She shook her head, denying his words. She was not perfect, just a girl, maybe a little lost a little unsure.  
"This discussion is over." She turned to go, but he stopped her with his hand on her arm.  
"What does this mean for us?"  
"I don't know yet. I'm sorry I don't have the answers Jamie. I can't look at you right now."  
"What about the apartment Jude? You know I can't make rent on my own." Jude sighed tiredly.  
"Get a roommate or move back in with your Nana Jamie. I don't know."  
"What about you? Where are you staying?"  
"With a friend. You don't know them." Where did Tommy live? And if Jamie found out, would that be the quick ending she had half hoped for? She would have to tell him about the baby and then what? Did she want him to forgive her?  
"I love you Jude."  
"I love you too Jamie. I'll come by tomorrow okay?" But was she still in love with him? Had she ever been? She turned her head and saw the handsome man sitting across the room. A woman had sat down beside him and started a conversation. What had she done? She had agreed to move in with a man she barely knew, except carnally and he was a notorious womanizer. And she was going to have his baby.

**

"Hey Sades it's me. Can you come let me in?" Jude spoke into the intercom connected to the wall by the residence hall door. She had stayed until the end of the show and Tommy had offered to drive her back her instead of having her take the bus. His black Porsche was parked at the curb and he had insisted on walking her to the door. "She should be down any minute. Thanks for the ride." Jude said feeling suddenly nervous as if this were a first date instead of what it was, whatever this was.  
"Not a problem." He was amused at her unease, and couldn't help but stare down at her blond head. She looked through the Plexiglas side panels to see her sister coming down the stairs. "There she is." He nodded, leaning down before she sensed his intentions, and brushed his lips lightly over hers. He straightened leaving her even more flustered as he grinned at her.  
"Call me tomorrow and I'll give you the directions." She nodded wordlessly, that slight touch having sent her lips tingling. She should have been immune to him by now. "Bye Jude." He turned and sauntered for his car, leaving her staring at his tight jean molded ass.  
"Bye." She whispered softly as her sister swung the door open. He had cleared half the lawn and they both watched as he spanned the rest of the distance, sliding into his sports car smoothly.  
"Was that…"  
"Yeah. He came to my showcase tonight."  
"How'd it go?" Sadie asked absentmindedly, the image of Tom Quincy still fresh in her mind. Once upon a time he had been a poster on her wall and the boy of her dreams.  
"Good." Jude said shortly, her euphoria from the concert now faded into a mere memory.  
"He's still gorgeous." Sadie said breathlessly and Jude gave her an unbelieving look. Jude swung the door wide again and they both headed back in.  
"Jamie showed up too." Jude added wryly her nerves still not recovered.  
"What?!" Sadie's screech echoed in the empty stairwell. "Does Jamie know then?"  
"No. Tommy told him he was scouting for G-Major."  
"When are you going to tell him Jude? Even though he's a cheating scumbag he still deserves the truth." Jude sighed, suddenly weary as the adrenalin of performing faded and her heavy thoughts intruded.  
"I know." Sadie saw she had made Jude's mood dip low and brightened herself purposefully.  
"So does he live up to his reputation?" Sadie wiggled an eyebrow suggestively, something Jude had never seen her do before.  
"Huh?"  
"Is Tommy Q a good lover?" Sadie stated boldly and Jude felt her foot almost miss the step completely. She grabbed the handrail to steady herself.  
"Sadie!" Jude said in outrage as they started up the second flight of stairs.  
"You're my sister! It's your job to tell me." The two women laughed as they continued their way up, Jude's cheeks burning as she couldn't help but remember how it had been between them. What had she agreed to tonight? Was she insane to move in with him?


	10. Chapter 8

_Thanks to everyone who gave this a chance. ENJOY! _

****

Chapter 8

She had called ahead to make sure he was there when she showed up to get some of her things, so it was no surprise to see him at the kitchen table eating cereal when she swung the door wide. His brown hair was a shaggy mess and he obviously had not bothered to get it cut without her to remind him. He looked up, a hopeful half smile on his face.

"Hey." He looked so happy to see her, it ripped little pieces from her heart. He wouldn't like what she had to say. "Sit down Jude. This is your place too." She shook her head but did step closer to him.

"Jamie…There's no easy way to say this--I don't know…I've been unfair to you." He misinterpreted her words as forgiveness and his hands reached out to grasp her upper arms.

"Jude I promise it'll never happen again. We can get through this. Believe me."

"Jamie no! You've got it all wrong…" She backed up three steps to put some distance between them. She had to say it quickly or it would never get past her lips. "I need a divorce. And the quickest way is for you to admit you cheated." He felt like a steel vise has just squeezed his heart to a bloody pulp.

"What?! Jude! No! What's the damn hurry?!"

"I'm pregnant." She admitted softly, her eyes meeting his brown ones in a unexpected show of bravery.

"Jude that's…Wow…I…How can you ask for a divorce now? We need to work this out." She winced, hearing the excitement laced with confusion in his voice. She shook her head and continued, knowing this would break her best friend's heart and she wasn't a vindictive person no matter her previous actions.

"You don't understand. The night you told me what you did--You knew I wasn't at Sadie's."

"So where were you?" He swallowed convulsively, sensing immediately he wouldn't like the answer.

"I was at a bar getting drunk when I met someone. We left together Jamie."

"The baby…" He had always been the smart sensible one in the relationship and made the connection right away.

"Isn't yours."

"Are you sure?" Jude nodded, knowing she was shattering all his illusions of her. This was almost a bit surreal to her. She had never imagined it possible to be in this situation. How had her fantasies intruded into reality so harshly?

"Yeah…"

"You've been pushing me away because of what I did, when you…" She thought she could literally see the fury building in his brown eyes behind the lenses of his glasses.

"I know…" She said quietly, accepting the blame this time.

"You hypocrite!"

"I know Jamie…" Silence was heavy around them, only broken by the cars on the street.

"Was he good?" Jamie said in a snide tone she had never heard before and she glanced up at him in shock.

"What?" She uttered it so softly it came out as barely more than a whisper.

"Well come on Jude. It's not like you've ever been that into sex. Was revenge really worth it? Letting some stranger put his hands all over that white skin of yours? Letting him do things to you? Or did you just close your eyes and think about telling me what you did?" Jude felt a shiver of revulsion run through her. This was not the Jamie she had known practically her whole life. She was not sure if the tears in her eyes were of hurt or anger, but they reminded her to start moving again. She started to pull the CD's that were most important to her off the built in shelves, shaking slightly as she did so.

"Was he good?!" The loud voice cut through her like a hot knife on butter and she jumped. Jude turned in what felt like slow motion and faced Jamie who had come up behind her without her realizing.

"Yes." Immediately she wished she had not uttered that simple word, but it was too late now.

"Get out." He said it so coldly she flinched, but obeyed, knowing that she was running even if he thought he was pushing her away. Jude picked up the box she had packed and swung her book bag onto her shoulder. She had to balance the laden box against the wall so that she could swing the door open, because Jamie had already stormed into the bedroom. He hated her now and she deserved it, but even now she could not find it in herself to hate him in return.

**

The trek down seemed to take a lifetime, giving her a little too much time for introspection. Were she and Jamie really ready to get married last year? Were they even meant to go down that road together? Maybe she should have recognized back then that he was trying to hard to be romantic, when it was so clearly not him, but he had whisked her away right after graduation driving in his old junker which she had been afraid wouldn't make the journey, to a small town where they were married. He had saved enough money to get a room at a bed and breakfast for the night. It had been where she had lost her virginity, where they both had. Knowing what she did now, she could finally admit two virgins wasn't necessarily a good idea. For her it had been awkward and a bit painful, but at least blessedly quick. He had not even gotten a good glimpse of her body because she had requested the lights be turned off. It had felt strange to be naked with him and although she hadn't wanted to admit it, perhaps because deep down she had never really been attracted to Jamie in that way. Not a surprise he would bring up her responses to him in bed or lack thereof. It had taken her maybe a bit too long to realize that it wasn't her, but them, together that had been off. But then again was that really important in the long term? They had love, or at least she had thought they did, and respect and so many things in common. They had a shared past, came from the same place and they both loved music. Who got to say what was lasting or not enough?

Jude finally made it onto street level no thanks to the box that had seemed to get heavier with every step she went down. She wasn't even sure where Tommy lived and she didn't want to go back to Sadie's only to have to turn around and move this stuff again. Jude pulled out her cell phone and the piece of paper Tommy's number was written on along with it. He sounded distracted when he answered the phone so her voice was unusually weak.

"Hey. It's me." Tommy sat up straighter from his position at the soundboard and his voice gentled as his attention focused on the call.

"Hey. How's it going?" Jude gave a small bark of choked laughter.

"It could be better."

"You alright?" Kwest raised his eyebrow at the genuine concern in his friend's voice. He had already signaled the band to take five and was unabashedly eavesdropping.

"Um…I just told Jamie about the baby."

"Oh…"

"So about your apartment…"

"I have your key. Do you want to swing by G-Major?" He realized as soon as he asked, that that wouldn't be the best idea with the gossiping staff and his ex-wife on the premises. "Or do you want to come by later?"

"I…" Jude kind of wanted to sit on her box and just cry. She didn't know if the baby hormones had anything to do with it, but she felt completely overwhelmed all of a sudden. "I guess I could do that." She figured she could make it to Sadie's dorm room and splurge on a taxi later if she needed to. Her words were not very convincing to his ears so he glanced through the glass at the band he was producing, barely noticing they weren't playing and decided they could wait.

"Where are you?"

"In front of my apartment."

"Address." She told him automatically.

"Tommy you don't have to…" He cut her off briskly.

"I'll see you in ten minutes."

**

She took in her new surroundings with barely concealed awe, a little intimidated by the obviously expensive place. He closed the door behind her and dropped her box and the bag of clothes they had swung by Sadie's to pick up, onto the floor.

"Wow. This place is amazing." He shrugged a little sheepishly.

"It's just an apartment." In a uncharacteristic bout of honest self-effacement. Usually he showed an air of arrogant confidence to the world.

"Shaking your ass must really have paid well."

"Hey!" He couldn't help but respond to the impish grin that brightened her big eyes. "I thought we were getting along." Despite his words he was relieved to see she was out of the quiet mood she had been in when he had found her at her apartment. The neighborhood had not been the best and he was glad she would no longer have to be there, even if it was taking away his own personal space to get it done.

"Didn't you know Quincy?" She had started calling him that just recently and he liked it on her tongue. Usually only other guys called him by his last name. "I treat all my friends like this." A small teasing smile graced her face and he could only stare.

"Is that what we are Harrison? Friends?" Harrison; she found she had missed that name. Their gaze was a little too intense and she looked away pretending interest in the room once again, taking in the hallway and doors. Tommy cleared his throat.

"So let me show you around." He took her hand and though she felt a slight jolt she ignored it and followed him where he led. There were three bedrooms, one converted into a music room complete with gleaming baby Grand piano that had Jude's eyes shining. She was caught by the beautiful instrument for an instant and Tommy had to catch her attention. She turned towards him already in love with the place.

"Do you play?" He nodded.

"Some. I like piano to work through a melody sometimes." He nudged her into the room and pulled her towards the bench. They sat side by side, she aware of their closeness and trying hard to appear unaffected by it. His fingers moved lightly on the keys playing something unfamiliar to her, but definitely showing promise.

"What is that?"

"Just something I've been working on."

"It's nice." He was strangely affected by her simple word of praise and decided to take charge once again. Tommy got off the bench and pulled her up, leading her to her new bedroom.

.

It was done in shades of sage green and gold, a generic type of designer bedroom a former flame had done, thinking it would please him. There had never been a shortage of women in his life trying to impress him and make themselves stand out in it. Jude stared at the fluffy duvet on top of the queen sized bed and almost moaned in pleasure. It actually looked like it would be kind to her back.

"If you don't like it, you can always reconsider mine." His voice broke into her thoughts and she looked at him, unsure if he was serious.

"Tommy…" His name was a caress and he didn't like that it made him respond to her. "This is going to be hard enough without us getting involved again."

"It's okay Jude. I know." He gave her a small smile that made her feel instantly better. If she had enough time and energy to think about that it would have scared her, but because everything right now was overwhelming it was barely a blip on her radar. "So the bathroom's next door and the other one is adjoining my room."

He flipped on the light to his bathroom and showed her the reason why he had brought her in here. He pointed to the large raised hot tub in the corner.

"If your muscles ever get sore that'll take all the knots out." It looked tempting to Jude and she was already in awe at the size of the bathroom, but she knew she wouldn't take him up on his offer. She was already intruding into his home; how could she enter his bedroom as well?

"Thanks." All at once he felt too close to her, especially when his pale blue eyes shifted to hers. "For everything Tommy."


	11. Chapter 9

****

Chapter 9

They muddled through the next few days, Tommy unused to sharing his personal space with another human being and Jude not knowing how to relax around someone who did not truly know her well. He worked all day and she tried to get as many hours as she could so when they did see each other it was awkward. Jude had been sleeping late, more tired than usual, so rarely saw Tommy leave in the morning. She found herself missing something she had never dared put a name to and it raised her tension levels even higher.

Jude stood in the kitchen sipping from the glass of orange juice she had just poured, oblivious to the eyes upon her, drinking in her form. She put a hand to her lower back trying to push on the pressure point to relieve the slight pain. Apparently it had not been Jamie's old bed that had been causing her back ache because even in Tommy's obviously new, probably never used guest bed she still had problems. He had come in without her noticing and she jumped, sloshing her juice when he spoke.

"You okay?" She looked at him with wide eyes and nodded mutely, putting her drink on the counter before she dropped it. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"Isok." She gave him a tentative smile, taking in the still damp not quite perfect hair and the single droplet of water trailing down the side of his cheek. He looked good. Then she yelled at herself, knowing she wasn't supposed to notice that anymore.

"You feeling alright? I saw you rubbing your back."

"Oh…" She said discomfited that he had been watching her and had noticed. "I've been waking up with a sore back. At first I thought it was the bed at the apartment, but same thing here. Maybe it's a pregnancy thing…"

"Come here." He gestured her over to where he leaned farther down against the fridge. She obeyed giving him a weary look as she did so. She was doubly surprised when he turned her around gently by the shoulder so that her back was to him. "Have you had any other symptoms?" He tried to appear nonchalant, but he was curious how this was for her.

"Not that I noticed. I thought I was gonna be lucky. Not even the urge to throw up." She tried to make her words casual, but their closeness was playing havoc with her sensibilities. She stiffened slightly when his arm wrapped high across her chest, his hand resting against her opposite shoulder. If she moved a fraction of an inch her chin would be resting on his muscled forearm. Jude closed her eyes in pleasure when she felt his other hand made into a fist, pressing against her lower back. Her body almost felt boneless as she found herself relaxing against him. She tried to keep quiet the sounds she wanted to make, but one or two escaped and she felt immediately the tensing of his muscles even though he continued his ministrations. The air around them changed then and she found herself wanting his hands to touch more of her body and she stopped enjoying his innocent massage. He rubbed in small circles a few more times and then let her go. Jude couldn't help noticing his darkened eyes when she turned to face him. They stared at one another for a second longer and she never knew where she found the strength to step back. Jude grabbed her juice from the counter and shakily took a long swallow, distancing herself.

"I…should go." He motioned with his head towards the front door and she nodded. "Use my tub if it keeps bothering you." He started to move away a little more quickly than was polite, stopped only by her quiet 'thanks'. His mouth lifted at the corners and he nodded, before grabbing his car keys and letting himself out, leaving a confused Jude behind.

.

Tommy juggled the keys in his palms as he waited for the elevator, deep in thought. He didn't want it to be this way between them; they would never survive her pregnancy with this uncomfortable tension between them. They had to find a balance. He made a decision and spun suddenly to head back to the apartment.

Jude was still standing in the kitchen staring aimlessly out the window when she heard the key in the lock. Her head shot up as she saw the door open and Tommy was standing there right inside the threshold.

"Did you forget something?"

"Are you working today?" He asked, knowing she usually had Wednesday's off. She shook her head wordlessly. "Are you interested in seeing how G-Major works? I mean you said you were majoring in music." He ran his hand through his hair and realized he had forgotten to put gel in this morning. "I could show you the production end and…" He felt himself starting to babble and wondered why this girl had him so off kilter. And then she smiled at him and his words simply trailed off.

"That would be great. Just give me ten minutes." It was his turn to nod wordlessly, a strange elation settling inside him. She headed for her room as he shut the door. True to her word she was ready ten minutes later. She had simply put on some lipstick and eyeliner, both in new shades to complement her new blond status and thrown on a red tank top and jeans. He gave her a funny look as they walked down the hallway.

"What?"

"Most women I know don't get ready that quick." She shrugged self consciously.

"This is me. Sadie's always been the Barbie in the family." He turned to her after pushing the button to the elevator.

"Hey I'm not complaining. You're fine just the way you are."

"Damn Quincy I didn't think you were a chick flick kind of guy." They entered the empty elevator and he pushed the garage level.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, Bridget Jones Diary? 'I like you just the way you are.'" Tommy shrugged showing no recognition of what she was talking about.

"Never saw it." Jude felt her heart melt a little.

"Seriously?" She stared at him in shock. Did real guys actually say stuff like that? His lips twitched in amusement and her eyes narrowed. He couldn't hold back the grin now, bemused by her reaction. She shook her head and laughed at her own gullibility, shattering the wall they had built between them.

**

Tommy held the glass door open for Jude who stepped through, slightly nervous at being introduced to his co-workers. He pointed out different aspects of the studio and then brought her into Studio One where he would be mostly mixing today. Kwest as usual was already there setting up the soundboard and turned to smile at her. At least she recognized one face.

"Jude right? Good to see you again." Tommy had explained that Kwest was one of his good friend's on the drive over. She thought he had a very nice smile as she returned it with one of her own, leaning forward as Tommy offered the chair between the two men to her. It hit her in an instant and her big eyes grew larger as she tried to back up, standing quickly and away from Kwest.

"Excuse me." Jude choked out before dashing for the restroom she had spotted when coming in. Kwest looked at his friend in bewilderment as Tommy hurriedly stood up and went after her.

Jude knelt before the toilet, the meager contents of her stomach coming up in a rush. She thanked God she had gotten there in time. How much more embarrassing would it have been to upchuck all over the studio room floor. Her belly roiled and she simply rested there trying to gain control of the overwhelming queasiness. She heard the bathroom door swing open and then Tommy's voice.

"Jude?" He saw her legs from under the stall door and walked up to it, not caring that he was in the women's room. Tommy pushed open the door a crack and saw her still kneeling in front of the porcelain fixture. She looked up at him chagrined, feeling a little steadier now.

"You okay?" The concern in his voice was genuine and she nodded. "Hold on a sec." Tommy went over to the sink and wet a paper towel bringing it back to her. She took it gratefully and wiped her face and then her lips. He extended his hand and she took it gratefully as he pulled her to her feet.

"So much for getting away without any symptoms." Jude sighed, passing him to go to the sink. She rinsed her mouth out with water and tried to fix her hair.

"What brought that on?" His hand was on her back rubbing soothing circles.

"I don't know. I leaned over and smelled Kwest's cologne I think." Tommy burst out laughing as Jude gave him a dirty look in the mirror.

"Come on, I think I have some mouthwash in my office." As they walked out a dark haired woman was starting in the door. Jude recognized the receptionist she had spoken to her first time here and nodded in slight embarrassment, only able to guess what this looked like.

Tommy had been having a good time showing Jude how the soundboard worked and Jude had even offered a little feedback to the song he was working on. Kwest, feeling horrible had attempted to wipe off the scent he had put on this morning and sat as far away from Jude as possible.

"You know the studio is free today. How would you feel about recording some of your stuff?" Tommy asked casually although he had been thinking about this for some time now.

"Why?" Jude genuinely had no idea why he would want her to sing.

"You're not going to learn this stuff in a classroom." He improvised. "You'll know how something sounds from how you sing it." Jude looked hesitant as she glanced at Kwest who wisely looked away, not understanding what his friend was doing either. Sure she was a good singer, but she was also pregnant. "Come on Harrison, it's the best way to learn this business. Your students will thank you someday."

Jude wondered once again how she had wound up in the sound booth. If only Tommy used his powers of persuasion for good. She smirked at herself and watched nervously as he signaled her to begin.

"So why are you doing this?" Kwest asked Tommy who was too busy staring at the blond woman on the other side of the glass. "I mean she's good, but D isn't going to sign a pregnant artist."

"I know. But her birthday's coming up. I thought she'd like a CD of her songs." Kwest could only stare at his friend. Tommy was not known for being sensitive. He was not the guy who remembered a woman's birthday. Kwest shook himself out of his daze and listened to Don't Speak coming through the speakers.

"Shit that could be a single." Tommy caught his eye and nodded. "She wrote that by herself?"

"She's got more." Their attention was once again drawn to her voice and the loss of love coming through. That kind of emotion could not always be translated by just any singer, but she did it beautifully.


	12. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

His mouth had gone dry and gaped open, unbeknownst to him as his mind whirled. He only breathed when he confirmed to himself he really had had no ulterior motives when he had offered her the use of his bathroom, that this had not been what he had wanted to happen, but that thought was lost as he stared at her. Her eyes were wide and she shifted slightly, holding the towel tighter to her body. Tommy had come back unexpectedly this morning to grab the documents he had forgotten and Jude had been slipping out of his bath when he walked into his bedroom. He had always had a visceral reaction to her body and compounded with the fact they had not touched intimately in too long, made his palms sweat like a teenage boy facing his first date with a girl. She could literally feel the tension between them as she stared at him. She swallowed hard as they stood there in his bedroom, neither making a move to walk away.

He was reminding himself, but only computing it dimly, that he had promised her he wouldn't pressure her into anything, that he wanted her to feel comfortable in his apartment. His knuckles turned white as he fought to keep his clenched hands down by his sides. She was wet and sleek, her damp hair curling, hanging past her delicate shoulders. Her long shapely legs were bare to almost the tops of her thighs and he found himself wishing that the towel would slip just a little. If she had any inkling of how tempting she looked to him in that moment, she would have run back into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

Jude saw the familiar look in his eyes and her body reacted immediately. She could feel her already more sensitive nipples tightening and an ache spreading through her lower body. How could he do that to her with only a single glance? Before him she had never missed sex, but now after knowing him, knowing what he could do to her, she found it hard to stay in her room at night and not simply give in to her urges to slip in beside him in his oversized bed, to lick and bite and….

Jude shook her head to rid herself of the thoughts invading her mind, droplets of water falling from her hair, sliding down her bare shoulder and he gulped visibly at the enticing sight. He had always had a thing for that water slicked look.

"I…My back…" She broke the silence first and it sounded husky in the still room. He nodded his understanding at her half coherent explanation, although he had not asked the question.

"I left some papers." He backed up hurriedly, almost tripping himself as he walked over to his desk and picked up the documents he had come back for. He raised them up to show her.

"Yeah…I should…" She aimed her head at the doorway and he nodded.

"Me too." Jude had to walk by him to get out of the room and the scent of her shower gel wafted across the space, hitting him with a force that drove him temporarily mad. He found his hand reaching out involuntarily to snag her arm before she could get away. Her body was pulled into his and his mouth was on her surprise parted ones between one breath and the next. Her response was instant as her tongue met his, stroking and sliding. Sensation raced through Jude's body blocking her mind from the niggling unease that should have been in the forefront of her thoughts. When Tommy finally pulled back for much needed air, the moment was lost. Their eyes met, and their breathing was ragged as they stared at each other, need plain on both their faces. Tommy let her go reluctantly and she backed up couple of steps towards the doorway.

"I didn't mean to…." He said it unconvincingly as he struggled to regain his usual coolness. She shook her head.

"It's okay." She said softly. "Um I'll see you later." He nodded and watched her walk out, the terry cloth gripped tight against her chest.

* * *

The calm that came with making music deserted him today of all days when he needed the distraction most. The narrow-minded focus that made him an exceptional producer was decidedly absent; because of her and that mind melting kiss. She had kissed him back, he knew that much. But she also had made no hint that she had wanted more. Tommy growled low in his throat as he stared unseeing through the glass to the other room, barely acknowledged that Kwest had come into the room and noticed his distress. Kwest plopped himself down on his chair and swiveled to face his friend.

"What's up?" Tommy looked over at him and pushed away the image of Jude in his bedroom, standing there dripping water with only that blue towel covering her lithe body. Tommy squeezed his eyes shut and thumped his forehead with his palm. Kwest stared at him with a cocked eyebrow, when he opened his eyes again.

"You wanna get a drink after work?" Kwest hid his surprise; Tommy had been staying close to home lately, even before Jude had moved in. That was a whole other can of worms Kwest wasn't sure how he felt about. Them living together seemed a little fast to him and he knew Tommy hardly ever went into any type of long term relationship, preferring few demands on his time except when he chose to have company of the female persuasion.

"Yeah sure. What about Jude?"

"What about her?" Tommy feigned indifference. "We're trying to be friends." Kwest rolled his eyes and his hands went to the controls, ready to get to work even if his friend was obviously not good for anything today. He kept his thoughts to himself, knowing Tommy too well to buy the whole 'friends' bit. Tommy still wanted Jude; that had been obvious immediately the other day, but bringing it up would only put his usually defensive friend's back up even more and prove no purpose.

"Whatever." He muttered as he played back the track Tommy had supposedly been 'working on' all day. It was not astonishing that the powerful voice that rang through the speakers belonged to none other than, one Jude Harrison.

* * *

Tommy and Kwest stood by the bar picking up the drinks they had just been served, Tommy with whiskey and Kwest with beer. Kwest eyed his friend warily, knowing he only drank hard liquor when he was disturbed about something. He kept his opinions to himself as he watched the mask slip over his friend's face, the mask of Little Tommy Q. that he had not brought out as much in recent history but apparently had not been completely lost. His striking eyes roved the crowded room, seeking his intended victim. Of course victim was too strong a word because women usually willingly fell into his arms and tonight seemed to be no exception as Tommy suddenly caught the eye of a blond across the room that had a surface resemblance to the one who shall not be named.

* * *

Jude sat curled against the couch with her legs tucked underneath her, watching TV and frowning at the clock against the wall. It had been five days since the incident in his room and she had only seen a few glimpses of him since. He had come in late enough that she had been in bed every night and left before she got up. The guilt she had been feeling, sensing that he was staying out of his own apartment because of her, had started to turn to irritation. Especially now since she had seen the tabloid with him at a dinner benefit with some semi-famous actress, Cassandra something or other. She wouldn't admit that that was something that bothered her, but the rest she felt she had a right to be mad about. He was older than her and yet he was playing the avoidance game. Like that would solve anything?! She had started to doze off when the sound of the door lifted her head. He came in looking strangely weary and she found herself examining him for the instant before he realized she was there staring back at him.

"It's late. What are you still doing up?" He asked it, like it was out of politeness and not any real interest, which had her bristling more. He dropped his keys into the side table and shrugged out of his leather jacket, the scent of perfume wafted from him as he stepped closer to her. He dropped into the chair across from her and stared expectantly.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way. But I'm really curious. Do you see a woman more than once? I mean or is it a different woman every night?" He could only stare into her brilliantly shining eyes.


	13. Chapter 11

_I hate to say this but I am not feeling this story right now. Anyway I have a few more chapters done so you will at least get those and maybe I will be over my block by then. ENJOY!_

Chapter 11

She couldn't believe what had just popped out of her mouth, but then again Sadie had often accused her of speaking before thinking. She sounded like a jealous girlfriend. She wasn't, was she? No, Jude reassured herself, she was just naturally curious. Could he really blame her, with his reputation?

Tommy blinked hard. Was she implying he was sleeping with a different woman every night? He couldn't exactly admit that once their affair had started he had had no urge to seek the company of other women, except for some mild flirtations he had not found any real desire except when he thought of her. And honestly he had tried to find someone else to spark his interest, but they all left him cold. But Tommy did not share his feelings easily, so he said none of that. They didn't have that kind of relationship did they? Then he wondered where all of this was coming from. He did a slow grin as it dawned on him. She was jealous. He placed his elbows on his thighs, leaning forward with his fingers steepled. He didn't know what possessed him, but the torture of her presence without the permission to touch, had him wanting to seek a little revenge.

"Why does it matter to you Jude?" His intense scrutiny discomfited her and she moved in her seat nervously, having never been witness to this sensual predatory side of him before. He almost seemed like a different man in that moment; the man the tabloids wrote article after article about in fact.

"I…It doesn't!" She almost squeaked. "I just - I don't want to cramp your style. So if you need me out of here just say so." She offered lamely, grasping to hold on to her dignity. He sat up straighter, a slight hint of unease at her words. She was honestly thinking about leaving?!

"What?!" His teasing was backfiring at an alarming rate. She wasn't one of the nameless women he could play games with.

"If this isn't working out for you - You don't have to pretend…. I can figure something out and…"

"Jude!" She stopped mid-sentence and stared at him. He shook his head and returned to staring at her. "You are the most frustrating, stubborn…" Before he could continue she tried to stand up, hurt written in her big eyes. He got up before she could and stepped towards her pulling her back down and sitting down besides her.

"Do you want me to answer your question?"

"Yeah that would be good." She didn't bother to keep the sarcasm from her voice.

"I've only seen one woman since you - and it took me about ten minutes to realize my head wasn't into it."

"Why?" The intensity of his eyes made her catch her breath.

"You know exactly why."

"Why aren't you ever home then?" Jude suddenly felt shy and her body was enjoying his proximity a little too much for her comfort. She had started to feel like he was avoiding her and it seemed like she was the reason he was rarely home. He was suddenly closer to her and she could almost feel the heat coming from his body. He leaned in by her ear and his whisper caressed her skin.

"Because I still want you." The touch of his fingers on her bare arm should have been innocuous, but it wasn't. "And it's hard to see you and not touch you." His face was close now, their noses almost touching, when she tilted her head and closed her eyes leaning just that tiny bit forward. At the contact of her sweet lips brushing his he closed his eyes also, savoring that which was now freely given, her tongue darting out to run along the seam of his mouth. His hand went to the back of her head cradling her to him as the kiss deepened, but yet still remained tender and slow. When he finally released her, her pupils were dilated as she stared at him.

"What do you want from me?" She felt like the words had been dragged from the deepest recesses of her most guarded self. He definitely asked for something, she had felt it to the bone in that kiss. He hadn't been sure how to answer her question, but suddenly he knew, remembering how it had been before things had become so complicated.

"I want you to stop hiding." She opened her mouth to speak, but his fingers pressed against her soft lips. "We can't be friends Jude. You know that." She nodded mutely and his hand fell away to her lap, touching her fingers lightly. "But maybe we can figure out what we can be." He was asking for faith; this virtual stranger and as she looked into those eyes that had always drawn her in, she found that she wanted badly to trust him to learn about him and in turn maybe about herself.

"I'd like that." And her words made him smile, the genuine almost innocent one and not the practiced charming one he had perfected for the world. She didn't flinch when his mouth found hers once more, taking and giving, tasting and tingling. She felt less lost than she had in a long time as his arms drew her in, still gentle but firm, holding her as her arms wound around his neck.

.

They lay there on the couch for a long time, talking aimlessly, occasionally kissing, wondering if they should start on a movie. He brushed her hair from her face as he looked down at her.

"I know it's kind of last minute, but there's a party for my boss's 40th birthday and I was wondering if you wanted to go?" Her head turned up from its comfortable spot on his shoulder to stare into his eyes.

"I...dunno." She was unsure of how well she would fit in in that world. Jude had never been much of a girly girl, barely remembering the last time she had truly dressed up. Had it been the senior prom? She thought so. That had certainly been a memorable night.

"Well I have to bring a partner, so if you see pictures of me plastered on the tabloids with someone else don't blame me." He had not called her on her jealousy until this very moment and she narrowed her eyes having foolishly hoped he wouldn't.

"So is this like a date?"

"That depends. Are you going to say yes?" He said it teasingly and she found herself smiling at him a little shyly.

"Okay." That one single word made him inordinately happy, even though he dared not analyze it.

"It's formal. Do you have a dress?" Jude gulped. Her wardrobe had never run to high fashion and there had never been call for a fancy outfit in her life.

"Uh yeah I can get one." There were certain advantages to having a fashion crazed sister, even if she had rarely utilized that connection in the past.

"You sure? You can use my credit card if you need to buy one." She shook her head vehemently. She would not accept charity from him. Jude already felt bad that she was living here rent free, not that she could afford to pay him for this oversized apartment.

* * *

It took Jude a moment to realize what had woken her, but then she finally heard the tap at the door, coherently. She whispered a 'come in' with a sleep dried mouth and pushed her unruly hair out of her face, still too groggy to lift her head from the pillow. She and Tommy had stayed up late last night and now it was barely, she glanced at her bedside clock, nine in the morning. He was already showered and dressed when he came into her room and he had the cutest slight smile on his face. Tommy crouched down beside the head of the bed and put his chin on his folded arms.

"Hey…," he said softly and she could only smile back.

"Hi…" Their faces were mere inches apart and at this moment the intimacy seemed normal. They had not made love last night, but anticipation tempered their tension and made it bearable, now that they had decided to stop avoiding the truth.

"I need to go in for a few hours and then I have some clients that need to be shown around. So the party starts at eight tonight. Can you be ready by 7:30?"

"Low maintenance remember?" He nodded and smiled again. "Could you pick me up at Sadie's?" Jude figured her sister would have something she could borrow in her extensive wardrobe and that Sadie would know what was appropriate since Jude had not the slightest clue.

"Yeah I can do that. Just leave her address on my phone okay? Anyway I should get going."

"Okay…" Jude didn't mean to sound disappointed, but that's how it came out and his eyes softened. He leaned his head in a fraction closer and their lips met in an unhurried kiss, that left them both wanting more when he reluctantly pulled back. His fingers brushed the loose hair off her cheek, sliding lightly against soft skin.

"I'll see you tonight." With that he stood and went to the door, closing it softly behind him. She couldn't keep the smile from her face as she reached for the phone to call Sadie.

* * *

Tommy sped along in his Viper as he scanned his Blackberry for the recently added number.

"Tommy darling. I'm so glad you called. I can't wait for tonight." He winced at her husky accented voice, somehow it sounded wrong to his ears.

"Simone about that…Something's come up." The silence would have been profound if he had bothered to notice, but his mind was already back on someone else.

"Oh?"

"I can't take you to the party tonight."

"I hope everything's alright?" Her nails dug into her palms as she tried to control her anger. This was one of the biggest events this year and she had been so sure Tommy Quincy would be hers. Now both dreams had turned to dust in a matter of seconds.

"Yeah sure. Thanks for understanding. I should go." With that he hung up, not even waiting for her goodbye. He was too busy formulating a plan to gain the favor of yet another woman.

* * *

Sadie was on her way to her new job when she got Jude's called. She had to pull over after almost swerving into the car next to her and getting angry honks directed at her.

Jude winced and held the phone away from her ear at her sister's loud screech.

"He's taking you to one of the biggest events of the year?!"

"It's just a birthday party Sadie."

"Do you have any idea who runs G-Major?! Darius freaking Mills!" Jude gulped and sat up. Darius Mills as in the media mogul who owned half the music scene in Canada, including the popular music magazine Solid? What had she agreed to? "Those invitations are like gold!" Sadie squealed. Jude listened with only half an ear, until Sadie said she was pulling into work and had to go. "Jude get your ass over here at 5:30 sharp." Sadie barked out.

"Sadie relax, there's plenty of time." Jude felt a headache coming on from Sadie incessant talking.

"Two hours is not that much time Jude. God if you acted like a girl for once you'd have a clue!" Jude bristled at that and gritted her teeth to stop from retorting.

"I am a girl!" Sadie knew she had put her foot in her mouth on that one and backtracked quickly. It was just strange how little Jude who could be stunning if she tried had never given too much time or thought into her appearance. Well there had been that rebellious stage in high school when she insisted on being punk, with ripped jeans and belly baring concert tees, but that hardly counted as fashion in Sadie's mind.

"Sorry, sorry. You're right….Just I'll see you later. I gotta go." And with that Sadie hung up.

* * *

She was checking the line of the dress that hung on the mannequin when he entered her domain; the costume area of G-Major, a tape measure around her neck as she smoothed out the fabric. Her dark brown eyes met his and she quirked a brow in question. Although they worked in the same building Tommy rarely came to seek out his ex-wife. Their divorce, although years ago, had not been amicable. Now they put on the show of being friendly acquaintances, which suited them both fine.

"What do you want Tommy?" Portia asked as she started to examine the dress again for any hidden flaws. It was to be worn by one of their artists tonight and the girl had to look stunning as was expected at this gala event.

"I can't just come visit you and say hi Portia? That color brings out the glow of your skin." She wore a gold embroidered halter top and loose black pants, looking stylish and simply elegant. He gave her a charming grin that she returned in spite of herself. He had always been a charmer when he put half a mind to it and she had fallen for him once upon a time.

"You think your lines work on me Tommy? I've known you too long." He sighed and shrugged.

"I need a favor." He told her what he wanted, knowing it was last minute, but also knowing she could get it done if she wished it.

"Are you sure you want to do that Tommy? That's gonna be a lot of money for one of your girls to wear."

"She's not one of my girls." The defensiveness in his voice sparked her interest.

"You really trust her enough to return everything at the end of the night." He nodded without hesitation. She sighed, admitting defeat. "I'll see what I can do. Hans owes me a couple of favors. What color dress will she be wearing?" He shrugged his shoulders helplessly and Portia rolled her eyes. "Ask her and get back to me."

"Thank you."

"Get out now." He smiled his gratitude and said his thanks again before leaving her alone to her thoughts. Someone had gotten to Tommy Quincy in a big way and although she had no lingering feelings for her ex, she had to admit she was curious as to who this woman was.


	14. Chapter 12

_Let me just say I am really hating how the Word insert button never works. I thought since there doesn't seem to be much activity on here I'd post the next chapter for those of you who are interested. And yes my writers block is over for the moment. ENJOY!_

**Chapter 12**

Her sister's sure, skilled hands were brushing out her hair reminding Jude of when they were kids before adolescence had separated their closeness. Victoria would be working on dinner as Jude and Sadie sat at the kitchen table, Sadie trying out a new hairstyle on her little sister. Sadie's voice broke Jude's reverie and she blinked in surprise, catching her sister's face in the mirror.

"This is kind of last minute isn't it?" Sadie asked casually, although she was dying to grill her sister. Sadie knew how closemouthed Jude could be about her personal life and she would have to proceed with caution if she wanted to get details out of her. What was really going on between Jude and Tom Quincy? Jude had said they weren't sleeping together anymore and that they were trying to be friends, but Sadie knew there was something she was leaving out.

"He asked me and I said yes." Jude said simply. She was not ready to explain what had happened last night, not that she quite knew how to. Whatever they were doing wasn't that easily defined, although it did feel right somehow.

"Didn't he have a date? He said it was mandatory he bring someone right?" Jude froze and then turned to look at her sister, puzzlement written in her face.

"He never said anything…" Jude turned back to face the mirror, a frown on her full lips now. It had never occurred to her to ask, she so full of being in his company last night. The sisters both knew that it was unlikely Tommy had waited this long to find someone to go with.

"Maybe his date cancelled on him. I'm sure it's nothing Jude." Sadie tried to smooth away her worries as she clipped up the curls to either side of Jude's head, leading it to cascade down in a golden tumble, and at the same time highlighting her slender neck.

* * *

Jude was slipping on her borrowed dress, not wanting to wrinkle it by putting it on too early, when Tommy arrived. Sadie opened the door to a charming easy smile from the man who had once been a poster on her wall. Her composure was shot as she stared at the decidedly too yummy ex-boybander.

"Hey. Sadie right? It's good to finally meet you." She nodded mutely, standing there for a long moment before remembering to invite him in.

"Um you too." Jude emerged from the small bedroom slowly, her feet still unsure in the strappy high heeled sandals Sadie had lent her. She wore a bold red dress with a low cut V-neckline, and empire waist accentuated by a band of silver sequins that ran below her breasts. On Sadie it would have been skin tight, but on Jude it skimmed her slender form in all the right places. His imagination was no match for the vision before him. She looked sexy and elegant all at once and he couldn't tear his eyes away.

"I take my thanks in the form of Prada." Sadie said to Tommy; their tension filled silence finally getting to her. Tommy turned his devastating grin on her and she forgot to breathe. Although the smile was purposefully magnetic there was no heat in his eyes; that was reserved for Jude alone.

"I'll remember that." And then his attention focused back on Jude who watched him just as boldly. The way the gorgeous man now looked at her baby sister made her wonder if he really could be in love with her and then she wondered how Jude had managed to stay away from his bed for this long.

Jude colored under his intense scrutiny and her hand went reflexively to the complex style Sadie had put her hair in.

"Is there something wrong? Do I look okay?" She felt out of her comfort zone dressed so elegantly, not knowing how good she looked in the satin gown.

"Wow." Was all he could say and she smiled a little, reassured by the heat in his eyes.

"You too." He had on a pin striped suit in such a dark shade of blue it almost looked black. It was obviously tailor made to accommodate his wide shoulders, fitting his frame perfectly. At that moment Sadie who was usually the center of attention, felt for the first time like a third wheel. It was like they had forgotten she was even in the same room with them. There was this crazy intensity pulsing between them that Sadie had never seen Jude have with anyone, not even Jamie, especially not with Jamie.

"Uh Jude can I talk to you for a minute?" Sadie interrupted their moment, trying hard not to be affected by the intensity they both emitted. She pulled a reluctant Jude back into the bedroom. Tommy watched her retreating figure, seeing for the first time that the dress was backless except for one strap that ran low across her spine. He wasn't sure at that moment how he was going to survive the night.

.　

"What?" Jude asked Sadie distractedly, her eyes aimed at the door towards where he was.

"What's going on between you two? Really? What is tonight?" Jude turned to face Sadie and chose to answer the last question because it seemed easiest.

"I guess it's a date?"

"A date? Do I have to remind you you're still married?! And you're dating him?"

"Sadie…" Jude looked hurt at her sister's harsh words and Sadie sighed.

"It's not just hormonal is it?" It took Jude a long moment to comprehend what Sadie meant. "You've never had that. A guy you've really connected with--sexually." Jude stared at Sadie in baffled astonishment, embarrassed and confused. She shook her head and looked pensive.

"I don't know what it is Sadie. I just know I like being with him, a lot."

"Sorry…I'm just worried Jude." Jude nodded, knowing Sadie had tried her best to fill the role their mother had left behind. And she had taken advantage of it more than once, so how could she complain now?

"I can take care of myself, but thanks. I'd hug you, but you'd probably kill me for wrinkling your dress." They both smiled in amusement.

"Jude just---be careful." Jude grinned and looked down at her still flat stomach.

"How much more trouble can I get into Sades?" Jude said a little wryly. That was definitely the end of their little talk as they laughed.

.

Jude and Sadie left the bedroom seeing Tommy still standing in the same spot, his head looking around curiously. He smiled again when he saw her, his attention fixed on her slender form.

"Ready?" Jude nodded and Sadie handed her the borrowed purse. Jude walked up to him and he leaned down to show his appreciation of her beauty his hand going to her bare back when Sadie spoke up.

"Don't touch her lips, you'll ruin her makeup." Tommy straightened up and grinned, not in the least bit upset about her statement.

"Is that my only limitation? No lips?" Sadie felt the blow of his sexuality even though it wasn't really aimed at her. "I think I can work with that." She wondered yet again how her sister had managed to not sleep with him when they lived together. Jude was a stronger woman than she, apparently. "I almost forgot--I have something for you." Jude glanced at him quizzically as he drew a flat rectangular box out of the small gift bag he had brought with him. "It's a loan actually." Yet again Sadie felt like a bystander as the two people drew themselves into their own bubble. Pretty Woman flashbacks invaded her mind as Tommy held out the jewelry case, opening it for Jude's inspection. Sadie sucked in a breath, taking in the obviously expensive ruby and diamond set in his hands consisting of a necklace, bracelet and matching earrings. Why was he trying so hard to charm Jude Sadie could not fathom, if that was indeed what he was trying to do. She didn't understand what Tommy Quincy wanted from her sister and it made her wary.

Sadie didn't really believe Jude had ever truly been in love before and there was a small knot of unease in her stomach as she watched the two of them staring, saying nothing out loud and yet saying so much in silence. He looked like he wanted to devour her little sister whole and there was no blush on her sister's cheeks to indicate she was anything but receptive. Tommy screamed experience and easy charm; was her not so experienced sister really equipped to deal with a man like him? Obviously the sex worked for them…But the rest of their very real issues---Were they even going to acknowledge them? Maybe Sadie had never been very protective of Jude growing up, but after their parents had split she had found herself looking out for her little sister, so this although exciting as all hell and slightly unreal, was setting alarm bells off in her highly efficient brain.

A shiver ran through Jude as his palms grazed the bared skin of her shoulders as he helped her put on the necklace. Her hands went to her ears to remove the borrowed earrings, handing them back to Sadie who reached out for them automatically. She forced a smile back on her face, knowing Jude did not deserve her doubts, at least right now.

* * *

"I wish we didn't have to go tonight." he whispered against her hair as he breathed in the perfume Sadie had told her to use. "You look amazing." His breath tickled her ear and she shivered although the night was balmy and warm, especially for Toronto. They stood in the elevator her hand in his and his lips a fraction too close to the bare skin of her shoulder for comfort.

"But you have to." Jude reminded him needlessly, simply trying to fill the air with something besides their awareness of one another. Tommy groaned a little in complaint before his lips pressed down on her skin. Jude closed her eyes, every nerve ending pulsing from that single touch. Luckily for her, the elevator dinged and opened onto the lobby before she could react.

* * *

This was supposed to be the fairytale, wasn't it? Wearing a beautiful gown and asked to the ball by Prince Charming. Well okay if Prince Charming was into leather jackets and copious amounts of hair gel … And maybe if the screaming red dress wasn't quite so low cut to show what little cleavage she had and…well if she weren't still married to someone else. Jude wasn't exactly the maidenly princess--And she had never been into fairytales growing up. So why was there a slight frisson of anticipation or was that terror running up her spine, as she clung to Tommy's arm? She recognized faces that more often than not graced the cover of the tabloids Sadie enjoyed reading, and even the ones she did not recognize were either gorgeous and emitting an air of power and authority. As they entered the ballroom it was evident that there were attractive women in abundance, and not a few eyed Tommy with interest while equally glaring at Jude. She wondered once again what she was doing here. He seemed to sense her uncharacteristic hesitation and leaned his lips against her sweet smelling hair.

"Relax. They're just people." Strangely she felt calmer as he took her hand in his, squeezing gently before pulling her deeper into the throng.

There was one soul in this decked out ballroom that had been waiting for Tommy Quincy to appear; more so she wanted to see who he had brought along. Her interest was very much personal even though she were she asked she would say it was mere curiosity. Of course Tommy had not be one of the early arrivals, showing up fashionably late and she blinked in surprise to see he was holding the hand of a slender blond. Handholding was definitely not an intimacy she had expected to see. Usually it was a beautiful woman, clinging to his arm and he showing just enough halfhearted interest to keep her from complaining. Tommy didn't usually date them for their brain power, so most of them hardly ever noticed his attention was never completely focused on them.

"Cara what're you so intent on?" He had called her that from the moment they had met and she had known right then he was the one. He had told her it was Italian for 'beloved' and she had believed him when he said it to her. Malcolm followed her gaze, but could not make out the object of her focus. She looked a little startled having barely acknowledged her fiancé had come back with her chocolate martini. She smiled when he handed her the drink.

"Tommy's new girlfriend." She elaborated and he found the other man easily, now that he knew whom he was looking for.

"Should I be worried you're showing so much interest in your ex?" She shook her head and put her hand on his chest.

"Never." Their eyes locked and Tommy was forgotten, at least for the moment.

.

This had to be the best night ever! The woman on his arm was so hot, she made him want to drool. How cool would he look when he told his band that he had gotten a chance at this smokin' older woman. And she was a freaking model! Okay so older woman was stretching it she was only 23 and he 20, but still! He had been more than a little surprised when she had called him this morning and asked if he would be attending this party. They had met briefly when she had come into G-Major to audition for a video and she had been, not exactly cold, reserved maybe? But he had thought at the time she was only interested in Tommy. He had practically tripped over his own tongue to ask if she was interested in attending and then she had agreed sweetly. Vincent Spiederman barely noticed his date tensing beside him, her gaze caught on the new arrivals by the door. And then he did notice and his eyes widened because he recognized the couple--both of them.


	15. Chapter 13

_Hey so here's the next chapter._ _Temporaryinsanity91: PM me and I will explain best I can if you're still confused about something. ENJOY!_

****

Chapter 13

Tommy had warned her that he would have to mingle with the business associates of G-Major and she was a big girl, so didn't mind too much being left alone. She took a sip of the ginger ale Tommy had gotten for her, teasing her saying 'just in case.' Truthfully though she really hadn't had many repeats of that day at G-Major incident with Kwest and thought it must have been a fluke. Maybe because her thoughts were on that unfortunate event, but when the man in question came up to greet her she found herself involuntarily stepping back. He gave her a small grimace and she ducked her head in embarrassment.

"Sorry…" Jude bravely stepped forward into Kwest's personal space, still afraid to breathe in.

"Jude. You look great."

"Thanks," she said in a rush of air and had to suck in another breath. For half a second she felt fine and she bravely started to breathe normally. Almost immediately she felt the pooling of saliva in her mouth and her eyes widened in panic. He backed away from her and she tried to keep her intake of air even, as she took small desperate sips at her sweet, now flat drink. "Are--Are you wearing that cologne again?" she asked in a small voice. He shook his head and his brow wrinkled in concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh huh…" she prayed as she turned her head away and took in a larger gulp of her dwindling supply of ginger ale. Tommy walked up beside her and looked between them with a puzzled look.

"What's up?" Jude immediately turned into his shoulder, inhaling his subtle scent gratefully, as his arm went around her shoulders, holding her to him. She pulled her head back to look at his worried face and gave him a sheepish smile.

"Are you wearing that cheap cologne again?" Tommy asked accusingly over her head.

"It wasn't cheap! And no." Jude pulled Tommy's head down so she could whisper into his ear. Tommy looked over his friend and could not control the smirk. "What?" Kwest felt like the butt of some joke as Jude turned her head towards him also. Tommy's mouth began to twitch and Jude smacked his arm.

"Don't." Jude couldn't help grinning at his amusement before she gave Kwest an apologetic look.

"Jude says you smell bad."

"I did not!" she protested. Kwest rolled his eyes, still a bit amazed at how lighthearted Tommy was acting even though these events made him tense and he usually had his Tommy Q persona donned as defense. "I'm sorry Kwest. I just…certain smells…"

"Hey don't worry about it Jude. I get it." He gave her a sincere smile and she returned it gratefully. At Tommy he directed a glare before shaking his head. "I'll catch you two later." Kwest headed away from them back towards his own date.

Tommy turned his head into her glorious curls, inhaling her perfume.

"You okay?" She nodded and giggled at the ridiculous situation. How could she be repelled by the smell of his best friend?

* * *

Once again Tommy had been called away, but Jude was not one of those woman who needed to be constantly entertained. Besides this whole spectacle was interesting enough to keep her occupied.

"Jude."

"Vin!" She thought she was seeing things as she stared at the boy she had gone to elementary school through high school with, who had been more a friend of Jamie's than hers and the front man for the band Jamie had represented. She had not seen him for months since he and Jamie had had a falling out over something Jamie had refused to talk to her about. Jamie had simply said something about Spiederman Mind Explosion, Vincent Spiderman's band, having sold out to the Devil.

"Did you get a contract here too Jude?" Spied had always thought Jude should have been singing instead of studying to teach music even though Jamie had blown off his comment when he had mentioned it. She had a powerful voice and her skills on the guitar weren't bad either.

She shook her head, barely noticing the way her long ruby earrings brushed against her skin. He was looking at her in a way that made her slightly nervous, as if he was seeing her as a girl for the first time, and compounded with the fact that he was someone from her other life; it made her more uneasy than she had been all night, even with the looks men had been directing her way.

"That's great for you guys though. A contract. Wow." He grinned at her, knowing she was truly happy for them.

"Oh Vincent you have to introduce us." An accented husky purr broke in, drawing her attention towards the model who slid her arm into his. The woman had a long fall of mahogany hair and dark eyes outlined to perfection. Those eyes were fixed on Jude in such scrutiny it made her slightly self-conscious.

"Uh Simone Michel this is Jude A…"

"Harrison," Jude blurted out, extending her hand out to the woman who eyed with a modicum of distaste before replacing it with a sweet smile. They barely touch fingers before the other woman let go. Spied eyed Jude strangely, of course wondering why she was using her maiden name.

"So you must be Tommy's…relative?" Simone stated, completely unwilling to believe she had been replaced by this girl; pretty, nowhere near Simone Michel's league. Jude, unused to the machinations of jealous females, did not know how to respond.

"No…."

"Really?" Simone said in fake surprise. "I could have sworn when he broke off our date tonight, he said something about a relative being in town." Simone could see her remark had hit home in the guileless blue eyes of the younger woman. Spied did not know what to make of the sudden cattiness from his date even as he attempted to diffuse the situation.

"So how's Jamie?" He wanted to ask why she was here with Tommy Quincy, but he wasn't some nosy chick so had to hold the question in. Tommy was not SME's producer, but everyone knew the head producer and former boybander at G-Major.

"He's…" Tommy chose that moment to rejoin Jude, having seen whom she was with while he'd been speaking to potential investors. He had ended his conversation as soon as possible so he could make his way back to her side. He had no illusions that a woman like Simone would play nice and Jude didn't deserve any malice the other woman might direct at her because of him.

"Spiederman." Tommy nodded at him. "Simone I didn't know you two knew each other."

"Well I had to make other arrangements when our plans fell through Tommy." Her eyes were aimed at him, dark and sensuous although Tommy showed no awareness of any hidden meaning behind her glance. "I was very disappointed that you wouldn't be able to take me tonight. But maybe later we could have a nightcap." Tommy stood close enough to Jude that she could feel his suit jacket brushing her hip, his hand near hers. She felt the slight tension in his frame and wasn't sure what to do. He gave the other woman a wintry smile, showing Jude a side of him she had never witnessed.

"Something came up." Was what he said, when what he meant was that, something better had come along. He gave Jude an intimate look which she had trouble tearing her eyes from. "I think I'm going to be busy later." He finally looked up at the now glaring woman and her confused date. "It was…uh nice to see you." He took Jude's hand and she let him lead her off.

.

Jude stopped walking abruptly, forcing him to steady her on her heels as he looked down at her. She moved out of his distracting touch on her bare arms, so she could remember what she wanted to say.

"Why didn't you tell me you were supposed to bring her?" Jude wasn't sure why she was upset, he didn't owe her explanations after all. It just seemed wrong somehow to dismiss someone that easily. It made her question if all women were that dispensable to him.

"Because no one else is that important to me. I want to be with you Jude."

"Didn't you care at all about her feelings?"

"She just wanted a ticket into this party," he said dismissively. She simply gave him a look forcing him to speak again. "Look you're right. I probably could have done it better--But you're the only one I'm interested in. Once you gave me that choice there was no contest." How did he do that? How did he know the exact right thing to say? "So are we good?" She nodded silently, her stomach doing flip flops at the way he looked at her.

"Yeah, we're good."

* * *

Portia left Malcolm speaking to a group of associates and started to stroll casually towards the young woman who finally stood alone. She took in the slender blond, assessing her as she walked. She was definitely not Tommy's usual arm candy, lacking the vain need to be noticed most of his women usually tended towards. She stood quietly, observing, a slightly puzzled look on her face.

"Having a good time?" A pretty, elegant dark skinned woman, impeccably dressed in a little sequined black dressed asked Jude in a friendly tone. Jude looked up in surprise, having been lost in observing the crowd.

"Uh…"

"Your first time can be kind of overwhelming. I'm Portia." Portia held out her crimson tipped fingers and Jude took her hand in a slight handshake.

"Jude, that obvious huh?" she gave Portia a genuine smile. "It's not that."

"Oh?" Portia asked with interest, raising her champagne flute to her lips to wet them, as she watched the blond haired girl with more interest. She wasn't as unsure as Portia had originally thought, although it was obvious she wasn't enjoying the party.

"I just…I don't understand the point of all of this." Jude gestured with her shoulder at the crowd. Jude had been a little surprised she had enjoyed dressing up, liking the way Tommy looked at her and the way his eyes tracked her movements, but these people were used to this, indicating they did it often. It was fun for one night, but how did they do it regularly?

"So I see you're here with Tommy." Jude was only a little weary after meeting Simone earlier, but this woman seemed to only have a friendly interest.

"Yeah. How do you know Tommy?" Portia noted that Tommy had not mentioned her to this young woman yet.

"Oh we go back a long way and I work at G-Major too."

"Oh…" Jude found her eyes wandering to where he was busy talking to a couple of men in expensive suits.

"So how did you two meet if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh…you know…I was just out one night…" Jude shrugged a shoulder. Portia did a mental eye roll. Of course Tommy was still picking women up at bars and clubs. She didn't know why she found it surprising that he hadn't changed in all the time she had known him. "So you've known him a while?"

"You could say that. How about you? Have you known him long?"

"A few months. He's not like anyone I've ever met." Portia found herself liking this woman. Jude didn't appear to judge or do comparisons of other females around her and she hadn't clung to Tommy and tried to keep his attention on her. She was candid with her answers. Jude seemed like a nice person, not prone to play games and Portia wondered what she was doing with Tommy. She felt the sudden need to warn Jude about her ex-husband.

"He's one of a kind--Tommy is the kind of man can focus all his attention on you when you're with him and not give you a second thought once you're not around." She shook her head, thinking of their past. Tommy had had plenty of practice working his charm on females, first in his boy band days and then later as his good looks continued to draw women in like flies. By the time Portia and Tommy had gotten together he already had his game, if not perfected, smoothly polished. She should have known better, but she had been young and naïve and in love and he had been the handsomest boy she had ever met. She worked with him now and didn't believe he had changed so much.

Jude wasn't sure how to respond to the other woman's candid comments, not knowing if it was done maliciously or not, so she silently took a sip of her ginger ale. The need to defend him, even though Portia could very well be right, overwhelmed her. Even though a tiny sliver of doubt about how Tommy treated women had invaded her mind earlier, she thought she saw something good in him. He had been so patient with her that Jude wasn't sure what she had done to deserve it.

"I don't think he's really like that anymore." Maybe she did sound naïve, but she truly believed he cared what happened to her.

"Maybe you're right." Portia said, not quite believing, but for some reason withholding judgment because of the conviction Jude held in her voice. Portia had to reassess once again, realizing that this girl knew Tommy better than she had first thought.

.　

Portia had left her to rejoin her fiancé, Malcolm and Jude was once again left alone, not that she seemed to remain that way long. Tommy came back to her with a new glass of ginger ale for her, which she took gratefully took a sip from, still a little terrified something else would set off her nausea.

"Can I have this dance?" Tommy held out his hand for her to take and she nodded emphatically as she stepped closer into his body. He took the glass from her and set it on a nearby table before pulling her onto the floor.

"I have to warn you. I can't really dance." He clasped her hand firmly and she put the other on his suit clad shoulder. They didn't move too much and she relaxed thinking she could handle this much dancing at least. She was drawn back to the last time she had been in this position.

"What's got that smile on your face Big Eyes." Jude blinked and focused back on this room and the man who held her.

"I was just thinking about the last time I got dressed up." He cocked a brow and looked at her with interest.

"Do tell." Jude ducked her head and looked away from him in slight embarrassment.

"Just my senior prom…" She had been happy back then with Jamie hadn't she? Although dances had never been part of her high school life, the senior prom had been something Jamie had suggested they go to. Strangely enough Spied had been there too. Weird.

"Did you have a good prom?" He genuinely wanted to know more about her past, even if it involved her husband.

"Actually Jamie proposed that night." Jude barely noticed that she hadn't stepped on him once, despite her statement that she couldn't dance. Her sister on the other hand had taken years of dance, and horseback riding, and karate and more that Jude could barely remember.

"When did you get married?" Her cheeks flushed a slight pink at his question. "You don't have to tell me, none of my business."

"No it's okay. Um we took off after graduation."

"Let me get this straight. While your friends were celebrating graduation by getting wasted, you celebrated by running off and eloping." She nodded, her eyes downcast, staring at the pinstripe of his dark blue suit.

"Something like that." She mumbled against his shoulder.

"Speaking of spontaneous marriages--There's something you should know," he was about to continue when a slightly shrill, totally sweet child's voice called out.


	16. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Uncle Tommy!" A small curly haired girl, no more than six or seven, in a frilly pink and white dress ran straight towards him, disregarding the obstacles of any adults in her path, and Tommy swung her up in his arms as she reached them, holding her casually against his chest.

"Hey My."

"Uncle Tommy!" She squealed again and he winced slightly, causing Jude to want to laugh. The little girl kissed his cheek making him grin.

"Are you having a good time My?"

"Uh huh…" And then she started to recount how her nanny Anna had let her have two scoops of chocolate chip ice cream and had let her stay up for daddy's party to say good night.

"Hey Maya I'd like you to meet Jude." He turned his lighthearted grin at Jude, who was affected by the smile in an unsettling way. Tommy put the little girl down on shiny Mary Jane's that completed her outfit. Jude could only think of how much she had hated dressing up as a kid, but this little girl seemed comfortable in her frilly dress and shiny shoes. Then she recalled Sadie's comment about acting like a girl for once and her eyes narrowed for a brief second before she caught herself. Sheesh her emotions seemed more wild than usual and she breathed deeply to get herself back under control before addressing Maya.

"Hi Maya." Jude bent down to the happy little girl's eye level and smiled widely at her.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Maya asked Tommy with the inquisitive innocence of the very young. "She's pretty." Jude's eyes met his for a startled second.

"Uh--not yet…but I'm hoping." He sounded a little uneasy, having never really dated any woman long enough to be considered a girlfriend, but his eyes were sincere as he stared into her deep blue orbs. A woman's voice called Maya's name, breaking the spell that had fallen over them and they turned to see Portia striding towards them in her gorgeous Manolo Blahnik's, even Jude with her lack of fashion sense, admired.

Jude stood up and adjusted her dress, realizing that Tommy had been staring down at the low vee of her dress. As she straightened she raised an eyebrow at him in censure, but he merely grinned back.

"Anna's been looking for you all over Maya," Portia scolded lightly as the child flung herself towards her.

"Auntie Portia!" she squealed delightedly as Portia bent to pick her up, flashing her not unsubstantial cleavage at anyone staring in their direction. 'Aunt Portia' Jude mouthed in question at Tommy.

"Uh…I was trying to tell you." He looked uncomfortable now as he stared between the two women, although he only felt accountable towards one of them. "Maya's Darius's daughter."

"So why does she call you Uncle Tommy?" Jude found herself wondering if it was just an honorary title.

"Jude. How are you enjoying the party?" Portia cut off their discussion with a friendly seeming voice.

"It's good Portia."

"To answer your question Jude, I'm Darius's sister and Tommy--Well we were married," she said it lightly as Tommy scowled at her. This wasn't the first time she had tried to cause trouble for him and a date, but this was the first time it had mattered to him.

"A long time ago," he added between clenched teeth even as he tried to soften his face when he looked at Jude.

"Oh we were just stupid kids," Portia added noticing that Tommy was not participating in this game they occasionally played. Normally she would take slight digs at him in front of his bimbos and he would parry her verbal darts with expert ease, but not this time. He genuinely looked slightly angry at her interference. She put Maya down and cleared her throat. "Come on My, let's go find Anna." She took the little girl's hand as Maya said goodbye to Tommy and Jude before Portia hastily hurried her away.

.

Tommy stared at Jude nervously, wondering how he could be such a dumb fuck when it came to her. He was messing up like crazy tonight, which never happened to him.

"Jude I was going to tell you. It only last a couple of months, we were both barely eighteen and…" He found himself starting to babble as he felt the dampness at the collar of his dress shirt. Jude just stared at him, not sure what to say. She couldn't say she hadn't been hurt that he had kept this from her, but…Doubts started to surface as to how well she really knew this man. She was used to straightforward guys, not ones who had ex's coming out of the woodwork. Tommy sighed and looked around to see if anyone noticed their little discussion. A few people nearest them were eyeing them speculatively so he held his hand out to her with a pleading expression on his handsome face. She took it reluctantly and let him lead her out of the ballroom.

They stopped in a hallway that led to the emergency exit, and he let go of her. She crossed her arms in front of chest in a defensive posture and stared down at the beige carpeting as the muted din of the ballroom drifted in. Jude finally looked up and he reached up, his palms cradling her face gently. Tommy leaned in and took her lower lip between his sucking gently, making all thought fly right out of her head. Oh God she had been wanting to kiss him all night and her arms fell slack to her sides as his mouth moved to cover hers more fully. She bent her head and somehow her hands were at the lapels of his suit and she was pulling him in. He finally drew back, albeit reluctantly and looked deep into her eyes.

"Look Portia happened during my Boyz Attack days. You can't blame me for not wanting to think about that." He gave her a small grin that she didn't return. "I swear I wasn't trying to keep it from you, I just don't like to think about stuff from back then," he said more seriously, waiting for her reaction.

"Eighteen huh?" she finally said, softened by the melting kiss he had given her. He nodded hesitantly. "Looks like we finally have something else in common." He would have spoken again, but Jude had other ideas as she pulled him in again and her mouth pressed against his as their bodies melded closer. Tommy never remembered enjoying just the act of kissing, with another woman. Her lips were the perfect blend of softness and pressure as she opened her mouth to him and his tongue plunged in greedily. He finally pulled away after long moments, breathing a little heavily as he stared at her flushed face.

"I've been wanting to do that all night," he admitted as he backed up to put needed space between them. Jude's fingers went to her lips and she nodded wordlessly, noticing idly that her lipstick was now smeared across his lips. She gave him a small grin as her hand reached out to brush the color from his mouth.

* * *

The night was turning out even more eventful than Jude had expected, but she couldn't say that she wasn't enjoying Tommy's company. Real dates before had consisted of going to the movies and maybe pizza afterwards, so she had to admit she was enjoying this complete 180. They stood together snacking on little crab puffs and caviar canapés. Tommy grinned at her in amusement and she gave him a quizzical look.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" He shook his head.

"Here you are eating crab and fish eggs and it doesn't faze you at all. Get within a meter of Kwest and you turn green." Jude had to laugh with him at that one; it really was the weirdest thing. She pulled the maraschino cherry from her ginger ale and popped it into her mouth, letting the sweet juicy syrup hit her taste buds. A devilish glint came into her eyes and Jude placed her glass and napkin on the table behind her before reaching for his hand. The cherry stem dropped onto his open palm and they both stared at the knot she had made of it with her agile tongue. He was about to respond, but closed his fist over it instead, letting his arm drop to his side as he turned to the deep baritone that had called his name. A tall bald black man dressed impeccably in a black Armani suit walked up to them.

"Did you get a chance to speak to the Grafton brothers?" he asked Tommy before directing a smile at Jude.

"Uh yeah. They said they'd call Tuesday."

"Good, good. So is this the singer you've been trying to sign?" Darius asked him and continued without waiting for a reply. "Darius Mills." He offered Jude his hand which she shook with a firm grip.

"Jude--Harrison."

"You've been playing hard to get." he accused as Jude turned her bewildered face to Tommy who shrugged imperceptibly. "G-Major is a big family and we treat our artists well. We would love for you to join us."

"Um I'm not really sure of my plans yet," Jude adlibbed.

"Uh yeah Jude's keeping her options open," Tommy added, wondering who had mentioned Jude to Darius.

"Kwest told me Tommy was really excited about you." He clapped Tommy on the back as he said it, causing Tommy to cough on the drink he had just taken a sip of. In his other hand the cherry stem still burned. "Just tell Tommy if there's anything you want to sweeten the deal. It was nice to meet you Jude. I need to go mingle." He flashed her a wide smile before scanning the room with a calculating gleam in his eyes.

"Oh happy birthday by the way." Jude called belatedly her mind still whirling at the strange new turn of events.

"Thanks. Have a good time." He gave another distracted smile as his attention had already wandered. He left them without further preamble.

"What was that?"

"I'm not sure…" Tommy spotted his best friend in the crowd and his eyes narrowed. "I'm gonna find out though. Will you be okay?" She nodded with wide eyes and he stalked his way towards Kwest.

* * *

"Hey man," Kwest said as Tommy joined him by the bar. "How's Jude?" Tommy didn't bother to answer his question, instead going straight to the point as was his habit.

"You told D I was trying to sign a new artist?!" Kwest stared at his best friend, surprised at the sudden attack. One of the reason they remained friends was that Kwest did not let Tommy walk all over him, but also managed to ignore most of his bullshit.

"You were missing every other day! Well let me see, it was that or I could have told him the truth. That you were too busy with your flavor of the month to work." Kwest could have put it way more indelicately, but luckily for him that was not his style.

"She's not my…dammit!" Tommy sighed and shook his head, knowing his friend had just been watching his back.

"Besides she is a singer. And she is good," he added amusedly as he took another drink of his beer.

"Yeah." And Tommy had quick quiet moment of inner reflection. If it weren't for his carelessness she probably would be able to have a signed contract right now. She had the talent, the voice and the looks for it. And he thought deep down she had the drive to make the music too, but that didn't seem likely now. Unknown pregnant singers weren't exactly easy to promote. He shook himself out of the thoughts, accepting the situation as it was for now. "See you later." Kwest didn't comment, having not expected and not getting an apology either. He nodded at Kwest and started to head back to Jude, but was soon waylaid by someone else he knew. By the time the other man, a distributor for the U.S., was done speaking Portia had sidled her way to his side.

* * *

"You two always had similar tastes." Portia commented and waved her champagne glass towards the two people chatting to one side of the room. She saw Tommy's shoulders tense, and could only wonder at the jealousy, although imperceptible to most, she saw in the look he directed at Shay, in the way his jaw clenched. Who was this girl? Tommy hardly ever felt territorial towards any woman, since he rarely saw any one more than a handful of times, but this one he trusted and yet Jude was fresh and not jaded like his normal conquests. Her ex-husband gave a hurried goodbye, practically ignoring her, before he made his way back to Jude's side, not letting another person stop him.

Tommy joined them quickly, his hand went to her lower back possessively, his fingers splayed in such a way that the tips almost brushed a spot that they had both found she was extremely sensitive to. His tongue had licked along her spine more than once, but there was one pressure point low on her back in the hollow of her spine that he knew drove her almost crazy. Jude shivered slightly at the familiar sensation of his touch on her mostly bare skin. The smile he directed at Shay was insincere as his hand rested at her waist. Jude could have taken offense to his high-handed possessiveness, but for some perverse reason she almost enjoyed it, having never had anyone fight for her before. And of course she knew who she would be going home with tonight, so wasn't it kind of silly to take get angry?

"Shay how's the tour?" Tommy asked without genuine interest, merely wanting to divert the famous rapper's interest. Shay had flown in especially for his Uncle's birthday party and would resume his concerts tomorrow night.

Shay mentally cursed as he took in the way Jude leaned back against Tommy. It figured she was here with Quincy; how many times had they gone after the same women? Jude of course was more interesting than the women he had been meeting lately and he was intrigued. It was slightly unbelievable in a room full of attractive females that Quincy had a prior claim on this particular one.

"Good. Sold out every concert," he bragged as he calculated whether or not she was still open to his advances. His chocolate brown eyes turned back to the woman in the seductive scarlet dress. "You didn't tell me you were here with Tommy." His tone was slightly accusatory, which had Jude's spine stiffening barely enough for Tommy to feel.

"You didn't ask," she said with a slight bite. She could feel the rise in the testosterone level and was going to take it from this guy whom she had just met. He was cute and famous, but Jude wasn't that naïve anymore to believe he wanted to get to know her better.

"Well if you ever want to advance that singing career…" He left it open-ended as he offered her a card from the inside pocket of his tailored suit. "Call me. My cell's on there."

She took it to be polite and he managed to take her fingers as she did so, raising them to his lips and letting them brush against her bare knuckles. "It was nice to meet you Jude." He smirked against her hand before straightening up, knowing full well how close to the edge Tommy was.

"Thanks, but I can help her if that's what she wants." Tommy said icily as he glared at the other man. Shay smiled at Jude one last time and took off with his buddy/entourage T-Bone, joining him from where he had waited a discreet distance away, while Shay had hit on Jude.

Tommy turned to Jude who looked amused, but thankfully not star struck. Jamie had been right about one thing, Jude had never noticed men noticing her before, until knowing Tommy had changed the way she perceived men.

"Wanna dance?" Jude looked up at him and nodded. He led her onto the crowded dance floor as a slow song came on. Darius's booming laughter could be heard not far away.

"He seems like a happy guy," she remarked and Tommy shook his head.

"It's all an act. He's really a piranha," he replied as he drew her in close. He wasn't really interested in talking about Darius Mills tonight, despite it being a party for him. "So -- It hasn't been too awful has it?" He asked, admiring the way her long earrings brushed against her cheeks, the rubies at the end of the long white gold links resting against her pale skin like droplets of blood.

"No…I am supposed to be kind of bruised though." Tommy immediately stiffened and examined her more closely to make sure she was okay.

"Are you alright?" She had a mischievous gleam in her eye and he relaxed, pulling her ever closer into his body.

"Well you know it's a long fall from Heaven." he couldn't help the laughter that burst from his lips, making her grin at him.

Portia saw them in the distance, noticing her usually unsmiling ex, laughing at something Jude had said.

"Tell me he didn't really use that line." He couldn't believe a practiced player like Shay would use that old tired line, asking if the fall had hurt from Heaven. Although as he perused her delicate features and golden hair, she did fit the part of angel if it wasn't for the flagrantly sexy red dress.

"Please tell me you never have." Jude begged, wanting to hold on to some higher ideal of him.

"I prefer honesty." She cocked an eyebrow and grinned at him.

"Oh really?"

"That dress looks beautiful on you, but…it would look even better on my floor." Jude thought she was going to bust a gut at that point, she was laughing so hard. He held her close, her head against his chest, so as to not draw too much attention their way.

"How--" She gasped for much needed air. "did you ever convince me to leave with you?"

"I was lucky I guess." And she was lost in his eyes for a moment.

"Oh geez. You're good…" She said breathily. "How.." She gulped as she felt herself drowning in his light eyes. "how much longer do we have to stay?"

"Cake," he croaked as he glanced desperately at his watch. Her braless state became evident the longer they danced, and it triggered an even more ferocious reaction in him as he held her against his chest.

Jude blinked up at him in surprise, lips parted as she felt the hard long length practically cradled between her thighs, they were so close. He still didn't understand fully why it was so hard to maintain control around this woman, when he had plenty of practice and experience in this arena. Her fingers dug into his upper arm almost painfully. She started to let go, trying to put some distance between them, but he didn't want to loosen his hold on her.

"Tommy…" she complained. "I need some air." He dropped his hands, letting her go almost abruptly. They exchanged one more heated glance before she spun, her hair sliding across her bared shoulders as she did so. She hurried away as quick as her feet, inexperienced in heels, could take her. If she thought he would just let her go, she was sadly mistaken as he waited a moment and then followed her like a predator scenting his prey.


	17. Chapter 15

_First off I would totally post more often if this website didn't hate Word so much. It takes me way more time than it should to upload onto here. Sorry about the bitching. There were some comments that the last couple of chapters were fillers. All I can say to that is this was glimpse into a totally different world than Jude knows, showing that in some ways they are very far apart. And it also shows how willing Tommy is to let things slide and not tell her things about himself unless forced to. If I were writing a book this would have been even longer. Anyway thanks to those of you who have taken the time to review. If you want more posts please drop a line. ENJOY!_

**Chapter 15**

The back of his fingers trailed from her neck and brushed down the low neckline of her dress, skimming along the naked flesh, causing her to suck in air. He had been itching to do this all night and even the two minute ride up to his floor seemed almost too long as his eyes were riveted to her parted ruby red lips.

With his back shielding her from the camera, his palm pressed against her chest, touching tantalizing creamy skin. It was not like he did not respect her, to be touching her so blatantly in public, but it was that he just couldn't help himself. His palm spanned a great deal of her chest, some of it bare, some covered in the thin red material and he couldn't resist the urge to touch more fully. His hand slipped into the bodice of her dress, palming a small shapely globe and causing a light gasp to escape her throat, but she made no murmur of protest. She had to bite back a moan as his thumb brushed against her distended nipple once and then again. They stood close together with one of his legs between hers and as he bent to nibble at the juncture of neck and shoulder, his other hand reached down to caress the back of her knee. It had seemed like a small thing for his hand to travel up a little, to get a firmer hold or so he told himself, until he lifted her thigh higher to curve around his. There seemed to be a lack of oxygen in the small space as she gulped in air between parted lips.

The door banged against the wall as they thrust themselves inside, his hands already spanning her silk covered hips again, his mouth moving hungrily on hers. She met his kiss with equal fervor, losing all doubt at his passionate touch. It had been a near thing in the elevator, but Tommy had held on to just enough sense to remember there was a security camera in the confined space. Now though they were alone in the privacy of his apartment and his fingers skimmed over her soft breasts as his hardness dug into her belly. Somehow he found the strength to pull his head back and stare into her dazed eyes.

"If you don't want to do this, tell me no, now. If I touch you anymore I won't be able to stop." Even as he said the words his thumbs brushed over her nipples again, making her breathing erratic. She didn't care about all her concerns, all she wanted at that moment was him, inside her, throbbing and filling. She wanted no barriers between them, just skin against skin, flesh sinking into naked flesh.

"Yes." She practically moaned and it took his fogged mind a moment to understand. His hand slid under dress and along her thigh, delving towards the juncture of her legs as he pushed her back against the hallway wall. His finger stroked the flimsy material covering her damp curls and her hips arched forward, seeking more. He slipped the string of her tiny panties to one side and sank one long finger into her heated depths slowly.

"Do you like that?" he asked in a low raspy voice.

"Uh huh," she breathed as he withdrew and pushed in again. She closed her eyes and her head fell back against the wall.

"More?" She nodded wordlessly as his mouth found her tender neck and his tongue snaked out to taste. A second digit entered her just as slowly to join the first, stretching her wider. She unconsciously widened her stance, heels a little shaky, as he moved within her. One of her hands reached out blindly to wrap around the back of his neck, holding his head to her body, the other searched lower and stroked him through his dark pants. It was his turn to inhale sharply. Her every reaction drove him higher, making him even harder. He felt impossibly rigid, even as her firm touch made his flesh unbearably sensitized. As she unzipped his pants and her hand delved into his boxers, his thumb brushed insistently against the delicate nub hidden among her folds.

She cupped his balls and squeezed softly, as he rubbed in expert circles, causing her back to arch. Her muscles clenched suddenly, sucking on his still pumping fingers. She let out a small cry, her hand falling away from his pants as the pleasure rode over her. Jude finally fell forward after endless moments, against his chest. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his went around her waist, one hand cupping her ass. She nuzzled her soft hair against his neck, before leaning in to whisper.

"More." That was all it took for him to lift her up in his arms, her legs wrapping around his torso. Her legs knocked against the end table as he moved them haphazardly towards his bedroom.

Even with the urgency pounding through his blood he was gentle as he dropped her onto the large bed. He took in her splayed legs spread wide, knees drawn up, skirt hitched up to her thighs and one strap falling off her shoulder, with darkened eyes. She kicked off her heels as he watched the movement of her slender legs, brushing seductively against one another. How many nights had he imagined her in his bed, while her very presence in the apartment, only a room away, mocked him cruelly. Jude reached behind her back with both arms and with a slight struggle managed to unzip the borrowed dress. She held the material to her chest and stared unabashedly at him as he waited for her to let the garment fall, but she did not loosen her arms. Jude licked her smudged lips and watched him watching her. She had always found her reaction to his hard muscular body electric and she wanted to see him now.

"Your turn." He, usually meticulous with his clothing, flung his designer jacket onto the floor in less than a second. His fingers fumbled at the button at the collar of his shirt, so she finally sat up to kneel and helped him undo the top three, enough for him to pull it over his head. Her blonde head moved towards his chest and her tongue licked the delineation of his muscles before she found one hard male nipple. His hands tangled in her wild mane as she nibbled gently and then sucked. Without his even realizing her fingers had unbuttoned his pants, and she made sure to skim his hardness with the back of her knuckles before she hooked her fingers into the waistband of his underwear. Her head shifted to his other nipple, leaving the cool room air kissing his mouth dampened skin. He groaned audibly against the silence of the room and helped her pull his slacks down along with his boxers.

Her dress fell away as her arms drew him down, his chest pressing against her throbbing breasts and he lowered them onto his comforter. He was painfully hard, thrusting against the juncture of her thighs. She raised her hips as he pulled off the miniscule panties and threw them over his shoulder.

"Jude I can't--" She raised her head and circled his lips with her tongue, drawing her knees up, rubbing her lower lips against him, wetting the head of him. He groaned as the tip of his arousal pushed insistently, she shifting her hips so he was aligned with her opening. He sank in quickly, stretching her wide, his mouth coming down on hers as he found a fast deep pace that had them both panting within minutes. His hands moved to her knees and pushed them outwards so they rested against the bed. Tommy thrust in even deeper as Jude let out small cries, his every stroke rubbing against her sensitive nub now that her delicate folds were spread open. One of his hands went underneath her back to lift her chest up, so his mouth could fasten on one taut nipple. The suction tugged on lower parts of her body even as he thrust into her. That was all it took for her for her go on a small scream. Jude arched her back as he let her body back down to writhe against the sheets, now their bodies met only where they were joined intimately. He continued to push into her ever tightening sheath, her hips bucking up to meet his continuous strokes. He pushed in harder to fight through her narrowing channel and felt her clamping down on his hard flesh almost to the point of pain/pleasure.

Tommy groaned her name as his speed increased, building into blinding orgasm. The way he felt now was overpowering, his body crying for the ultimate pleasure, while his mind never wanted to stop. He couldn't remember if it had ever been just sex between them. He pumped the last of his release into her dripping willing body before collapsing against her, his head between her breasts, back curled so that his softening erection still lay within her.

Jude's fingers ran through his sweaty hair, enjoying his weight pressing her down into the mattress, her body still throbbing lightly where they were joined. His mouth clamped down on the flesh of her breast and he sucked on the skin as if it was red licorice, his favorite candy. She murmured pleasurably against his hair, and an occasional twinge squeezed him within her, in reaction to his tugs at her nipples. She had noticed lately that they had gotten more sensitive to touch, in fact she had had to stop wearing lace bras because the fabric had been too rough. Now though his tongue lathing the hardened peak was heaven and bliss and almost too much sensation. Jude shifted a leg to sling over his hip, drawing his semi-arousal deeper into her depths.

"Mmm…" She murmured against his cheek when he looked up into her eyes. She had never been filled like this before, feeling him literally growing inside her. It was highly erotic in a way that surprised her senses.

He pulled out slowly until only the tip of him was within her and pushed in again, letting her feel his every inch expanding her tender inner walls. Their lips met, tongues moving languorously, every nerve ending in high alert at the touch of the other. Their fingers linked above her head, his chest rubbing against her aching breasts as he slowly spiraled them higher. There was no hurry, with every touch she allowed, he felt more confident it would happen again and the initial sense of desperation was erased by her every caress.

.

.

Later as they lay there temporarily satiated, his head rested on her belly, his hand spanning her waist, he looked up into her lazy eyes.

"How does it feel to have me inside you?" There was a feeling so primal inside of him as he held this woman, as if he had claimed her, as if she was meant to belong to him. He had never felt this sense of possessiveness before and it scared him more than he was willing to admit. Jude paused her fingers that had been running idly through his hair at the strangely intimate question.

"You mean the baby?"

"Yeah," he replied softly as he turned to rest his cheek against her still flat stomach.

"It's too early." But she thought she knew what he was really asking and was afraid to answer. She wasn't ready to say she was glad it was him; that admittance was too powerful and not a completely formed belief quite yet.

"But you know." Yes she knew, deep in her gut she knew thought she could sense the life they had made together deep within her. And honestly it scared the shit out of her and awed her all at once. "Do you feel any different?" he asked truly curious. "--besides these." He circled a nipple with the palm of his hand causing her to inhale sharply. She shook her head realizing he couldn't help but notice the way she responded to his touch on the sensitive mounds.

"Just that…" She grabbed his wrist and placed his hand back down by their sides not wanting him to distract her. "Tommy?" Her voice was unsure as she said his name. He moved so that he lay beside her, pulling her against him where she tangled her legs with his effortlessly.

"Yeah."

"If this doesn't work out--I mean if you decide this isn't what you want--"

"Jude I…" he was about to say he couldn't imagine not wanting this, but she wasn't ready to hear that.

"No I mean--I just…I need you to be honest with me, if we're going to try being together--even if you don't think it's something I'll want to know." She was so tired of people keeping things from her. Jude tilted her head to look into his eyes. He nodded once and his hand went to the back of her neck, bringing her face to his, even as he wondered if he could do that for her when he had spent most of his life hiding who he was. Their noses rubbed together in a charming almost innocent gesture before he tilted his head and took hers in a kiss.

Jude woke up slowly, a feeling of euphoria still with her as she opened her eyes. She reached over to Tommy's side of the bed without looking, and encountered cool sheets. She frowned as she scanned the room, seeing no note. It was with a strange sense of disappointment that she started to sit up. She looked around for something of his to slip on and spotted his dress shirt in the corner of the floor when she looked up at the sound of the door opening. She hastily pulled the sheets up to cover her nakedness, feeling strangely vulnerable.

They simply stared at one another for a second, Jude running her fingers through her messy tousled hair and he clearing his throat, both of them afraid that there would be awkwardness to ruin the amazing memory of last night.

"I was hoping I'd get back before you woke up." She finally noticed the white waxed pastry bag in his hand.

"Where'd you go?" He came into the room and sat down beside her handing her his offering. She gave him a questioning look before looking inside. Two gourmet white and brown chocolate frosted cupcakes nestled in wax paper.

"I thought since we missed the birthday cake last night…" She let out a bark of laughter before her sunny smile met his. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around him, whispering into his ear.

"Didn't you know Quincy? There are better things than cake." She let out a surprised shriek when his arms wrapped around her middle and she found herself flat on her back, he hovering above her with a wicked grin on his lips.

"Wanna show me what they are?" She would have answered, but a loud growl emitted from her stomach at that moment. He sighed as he backed up, knowing he would disregard that reminder if he stayed near her a second longer. "After we feed you." He sounded so disappointed she had to grin at him. She had learned from him what it meant to be wanted like this and it was an incredible feeling. The way he looked at her made her knees weak and at that moment the possibilities seemed endless.


	18. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Jamie had just locked up the apartment and put his keys in his pocket when he heard the beep of a missed call emitting from his cell phone. He listened to the voicemail as he headed for the stairwell, not bothering to check the caller ID. He tensed at the voice on the message.

"Hey man. Um it's just me. There's something I wanted to ask you--and tell you. Give me a call back. You know my number." Jamie erased the message and snapped his phone shut, sharply. Did that little prick really think he was going to give him the time of day?! Jamie sneered to himself, hoping for the worst. Maybe Spiederman had lost his contract. That's what he deserved for the way he screwed him over. He had dropped Jamie as SME's manager as soon as G-Major had come sniffing around and even now, months later it still burned a hole in his gut. Jamie would call him back when Hell froze over.

* * *

Jude stared at the two closed doors in indecision as she gnawed on her lower lip. She had wanted to wait up for Tommy, but he had told her that morning he would probably be working late to catch up on some stuff and now she was tired. She had started to doze off in front of the television a few times and didn't want an accompanying backache like the last time she done that. They had spent the rest of the weekend after the party together, but now that she was alone she was unsure as to what would be appropriate. She finally chose the safer course and opened the door to her own room. Just because they had slept together didn't mean Tommy would necessarily want her in his bed when he wasn't there.

Jude took off her clothes and pulled on a tank top and sleep shorts before getting under the covers. She hugged a pillow to her chest and missed the scent of his cologne that lingered on his own sheets.

.

Tommy entered the apartment, trying to be quiet as it was almost midnight and he knew Jude went to bed pretty early these days. It had taken him longer than he had expected at work, his mind not nearly as focused as it should have been. It had taken him hours to pinpoint what had sounded off in the song he had already spent a week on and even Kwest had abandoned him at 8. He slipped off his jacket and slung it over the back of a chair before heading to his bedroom. He had missed her and been tempted to call her, but decided that would have been pushing things farther than either of them were ready to go.

He opened the door silently, letting his eyes adjust to the din, not wanting to wake her with light. It took him a moment to realize there was no body in the bed and he frowned at his expectation being met with an empty room. He didn't know why he had been so sure she would have been in here waiting for him to come home, but now that he knew she wasn't, a strange hollow feeling entered his gut, reminding him of all the nights he had wanted to go to her, only a wall away. It was strange that he had never felt like she was invading his privacy, instead he found he liked having her there. He undressed slowly to his boxers and thought about her and how close they had been this weekend. He didn't want them to take a step backwards so he made up his mind as he put on a t-shirt. He turned the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open enough to slip inside. The muted light from outside left him just enough to see her outline in the bed. She had tossed the covers off, baring her to the waist.

He got under the comforter behind her, and settled his front against her back, pulling her back against his chest, slinging his arm over her hip to rest against her stomach. He had thought this would wake her, but her breathing continued to be slow and even. He pulled the blankets up to cover both of them and shifted to get comfortable. Tommy buried his face against her neck and held on as he drifted off.

She woke up for the first time around dawn, feeling sated with sleep and warmth at the body snuggled against her. She couldn't help but smile. Apparently she had made the wrong choice last night, but she was glad he hadn't let her get away with it. The only complaint she had was the tiny sliver of pillow she had been left with, so she yanked a little, getting a sleeping grunt from his parted lips, before she settled herself again. She savored the rough legs against the backs of her thighs and the heavy arm draped across her body, his hand pressed to her breasts. The safety she felt in his arms soon had her relaxing back into dreams.

He watched the back of her head, he slowed by the puzzled medical assistant handing him a card for her next OB/GYN appointment. She darted out the door, her hands clenched at her sides and got to the elevator before he caught up to her. He winced as he saw her fist reach up to punch the down button, her eyes stared down at the floor.

"Jude?" She did not answer his soft inquiry, so he took her elbow and pulled her to face him. Her eyes were still downcast and he glanced at her worriedly as the doors opened. They stepped inside together, he refusing to let go. "Jude what's wrong?" This experience should have been a bonding moment for them, but she looked anything but happy. His fingers reached up to caress her soft cheek, causing her to finally look into his eyes. The fear and turmoil in hers stunned him.

"I don't know how to do this Tommy," her voice was small as she looked into his confused ones. "I'm only nineteen! I barely know how to take care of myself! I don't know what I'm supposed to eat--what has folic acid in it?! What is folic acid?! And the hot tub… I didn't even know it could have hurt the baby. I can barely cook-- I never even babysat for extra money," she finished as if running out of air.

"Jude!" He took her upper arms and shook her just enough to wake her from her panic attack. "Hey calm down--We'll learn together. I'm scared too, but we'll figure it out," he said in a placating voice. He held her and stroked her back, soothing her frayed nerves. "I know it's not much, but you have me." Her blue eyes were clear and honest as she stared into his.

"It's more than you think." His thoughts turned from her now that she seemed calmer.

"I didn't know about he hot tub being bad either. Hell I told you to go in it," his voice had turned inward to self-recrimination. The doctor had said the constant overly hot water was not good for the baby and could cause problems if used too often. She had not seemed too concerned when Jude had mentioned it though, everything had seemed to be progressing as it should.

"Tommy…No…We're fine." In the face of his own self doubts she relaxed. She searched his eyes, a little afraid at his sudden anger at himself. His eyes cleared as he looked back at her. Her small hand went out to touch his and he took it to hold.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What about your mother? Can't she help?" He and his mother were not close, but didn't girls have different relationships with theirs? He was afraid she might need experienced support that he couldn't give. But people had babies everyday right? They had to learn just like Jude and Tommy would.

"She's not in the country…" He waited for her to continue as they walked towards his car in the garage. She explained the circumstances of her mother's abrupt departure from the country, eloping and running off with her divorce lawyer to Europe and he listened silently, not knowing what to say. It was obvious she was still upset about it and she had every right to be. She had been only seventeen when Victoria had left her.

"Jude we'll learn. I'll read every baby book out there. We can do this." She had to smile at his too serious tone, imagining him with Dr. Spock in front of him as he tried to listen to one of his artist's play.

"I'm sorry I freaked out." They stopped in front of his car and he pulled her in for a hug.

"They must have classes or something right? Lamaze and all that?" She giggled.

"Uh I think Lamaze is for later--You know the delivery part." There was a twinge of fear when she said that out loud and she squeeze his hand a little too tightly. The idea of labor wanted to overwhelm her and she still wasn't sure how she could do this.

"Hey he's still just a peanut in there. We have months before you need to worry." She rolled her eyes at him.

"You're calling our child a legume?" He stared at her for a moment and started to laugh, triggering her own giggles. He kissed her temple and opened the passenger door for her before getting in himself.

* * *

It was a strange contrast as Jude watched the immaculately groomed man and then looked back down at herself wearing only a blue silk robe, courtesy of Sadie for her eighteenth birthday. He was showered, every hair in place and his shirt and pants perfectly pressed. She leaned against the doorjamb watching him get his things together.

"You got anything planned today?" he asked as he put his wallet and Blackberry into his pockets.

"Sadie asked me out for lunch." He threw her a set of keys from the jumble he kept on the hallway table, that she miraculously caught.

"I don't want you taking the bus anymore." He didn't like the idea of her walking the streets alone at night. The area where she worked wasn't all that great either even though it was near the university. Jude had to look down to see which one of his cars he was entrusting her with, anticipation already bubbling in her gut.

"The Maserati?!" she shrieked before almost tumbling him into the couch by jumping into him. He wrapped his arms around her automatically, amused in spite of himself. He had never really had patience for others before, but her happiness made him feel warm satisfaction. And then her lips were on his, gratitude soon turning to hunger. He pulled back reluctantly and stared into her dazed eyes.

"Why do you always do that right before I have to go?" he groaned, his hands unwittingly sliding down to cup her ass and bring her flush against him. He couldn't forget she was naked under the flimsy robe and had to tear his eyes away from the sliver of bare chest where the folds of the robe met.

"You taste good?" she said innocently, her eyes going to ceiling. It took him a moment to figure out what she meant, but when he did he had to laugh at her. He usually didn't have breakfast, preferring to grab something at work, but he always made coffee, their joint addiction.

"Have you tried decaf?" She wrinkled her nose and nodded.

"It's gross." He grinned at the way she said it.

"I really need to go."

"I know." But they simply continued to hold each other.

"Convince me to stay," he half begged. When it came to music Tommy was usually the consummate professional, but she had distracted him since they had met. She drew his head down one more time in answer, and slid her tongue along his full mouth to gain access. His pulse hammered as she tasted every cell of his mouth, lingering on the roof to stroke lightly. She pulled away with an impish glint in her eyes as she licked her lips.

"You need to go." Tommy shook his head as he looked at her, his interest was so focused on simply being with her, he could almost dismiss everything else as unimportant. His fingers brushed the hair away from her face and tucked the strands behind her ear. He stumbled back when she pushed against his chest.

"I'll be here when you get home." He reluctantly opened the front door, and kissed her forehead lightly.

"Bye Jude."

"Bye," she whispered softly as he closed the door behind him. She raised her hand and on her finger dangled the key ring. She was almost ready to jump up and down at the idea of the beautiful, sleek car that she had access to.

* * *

"Jude someone else is joining us for lunch." Sadie warned hesitantly as they entered the restaurant. They had met on the sidewalk in front of the casual restaurant, Sadie a little surprised that Jude was on time. Jude usually ran late, having to rely mostly on public transportation. As the host greeted them Sadie informed him that they were meeting someone.

"Ooh is it a guy Sades?"

"Yes, but--" That's when Jude spotted him at a corner booth, looking the same but older. She halted abruptly and stared. He had a hesitant smile on his face as he stood up to greet them. Jude spun on her heels and started back the way they had come.

"Jude…" Sadie chased after her. "Jude! Wait!" Jude turned around abruptly at the entrance to the restaurant her eyes blazing with unrepressed fury. Sadie knew how she felt about their father, about both their parents. How could she set her up like this?!

"How could you Sadie?"

"Jude…" Sadie said softly, pleadingly. "He just wanted to see you before your birthday. He misses you." Jude had that stubborn jut to her jaw that made Sadie wary. "Jude he's our dad."

"Why would you think I'd want to see him again now?!" she seethed, her emotions still completely out of whack.

"Because I thought even if you won't forgive him, maybe now you'd understand why he did it," she snapped back. Sadie's patience was not unlimited and she reacted to her sister's yelling automatically as she had done when they were in high school. In so many ways Jude had had to grow up young, but in this she remained so immaturely obstinate. And although Sadie understood, Stuart had been Jude's idol growing up, she knew it was past time she get over it. They had a special bond formed by a love of music that Sadie and Stuart had not shared, so when he had made the ultimate mistake and been knocked from his pedestal it was Jude who had been hurt the worst.

Jude stared at her sister in silence, at first because she had been too angry, but then the words she didn't want to acknowledge started to penetrate and she was made speechless as her mind processed the harsh truth. Jude did understand how easy it was to want to seek happiness and her will to hate her father broke. She sighed in defeat as she stared at her sister. Sadie saw the assent in her eyes and put an arm around her, allowing Sadie to steer her back to the quiet table.

.

They ordered without saying more than stilted hellos, but at least Jude had not run away. The Toronto weather was a favorite topic and then the headline news. Stuart studied Jude surreptitiously, not wanting to scare her away and ruin this opportunity. Jude was his baby and they had always had such a special bond, he had not known how he had lived without it for so long. He knew it had been his fault that his youngest daughter had eloped right after high school, just to get away from their messed up family. At that point he had only hoped she would be alright. Sadie had given him periodic updates, but it was not the same as seeing for himself.

"How's Jamie?" The two sisters glanced at each other, both silent. Jude finally met her father's eyes.

"I'm not really sure. We haven't talked in a while." She knew she couldn't leave it at that as her father stared at her in astonishment. Even if he had thought she had married too young, he had always liked Jamie and had appreciated that the boy had been there for her when she had refused to let neither him or Victoria in. Jude continued after taking a long swallow of her soda to wet her dry mouth. "We're separated."

"Jude. When…How…"

"Dad not that long ago, but I really don't want to talk about it okay?" He nodded and examined her more closely. It had been so long since he had last seen her, and it was refreshing to see her back to her natural blond. She looked so much more mature and something shined brilliantly in her eyes. He had not seen the likes of that since before he had screwed up and Jude had found out about his infidelity.

"Do you have a place to stay Jude?" She nodded even as she made a show of dipping her French fry in ketchup, avoiding his eyes.

"I'm staying with a friend."

"Oh…Anyone I know?" She shook her head. Stuart knew he was making her uncomfortable and this new truce was tentative at best so he was wise enough not to push. "So Sadie how do you like your new job?"

"It's okay," she said less than enthusiastically as she took a bite of her grilled chicken salad.

"Just okay?" She shrugged feeling a little silly that the job she had been eyeing since graduation and had fought for wasn't quite what she had expected.

"It's kind of--boring." He eyed her carefully.

"You were born for challenges Sadie." Then he turned his gaze on Jude. "You both were. That's where you thrive." They were silent again, familiar yet estranged. Their father had always been supportive of all their decisions and it was a nice feeling to know that that had not changed.

"How's Yvette?" Jude asked, trying hard not to sound spiteful at naming the 'other woman'.

"We broke up months ago." Jude nodded, but didn't say anything biting.

Sadie had to get back to work so the lunch was not too long, but just enough to establish communication between Jude and Stuart again. They stood in the lobby saying their goodbyes.

"Do you need a ride?" Sadie asked Jude. She shook her head with a small smile.

"I have a loaner." Stuart turned to her and held out his arms, hoping she would not deny him.

"Jude honey. I missed you." There were tears in his eyes that she could not ignore. She let him draw her in for a hug and she closed her eyes reveling in being in her father's embrace.

"I missed you too Dad."

"Call me okay?" She nodded as they composed themselves before heading out of the restaurant.

"I'm parked around the corner," Sadie stated. Jude took her keys out and pushed the button on the remote. The beep drew their eyes towards the red sports car that was parked at the curb.

"I'll talk to you later." Jude called cheerfully as she walked over to the Maserati Gran Turismo. Just looking at the gorgeous beast of a machine made her heart thrum with excitement.

Stuart turned to Sadie as Jude pulled out in the car that was worth upwards of $120,ooo. Stuart cleared his throat as he gaped in admiration at the fine vehicle.

"Who exactly is this friend?" Sadie shrugged helplessly; there were only so many confidences she could break. She wondered how he would feel about being a grandfather and hoped her sister would tell him soon.

"She'll tell you when she's ready--I need to get back to work. Bye Dad." She hugged him quickly and kissed his cheek, before starting down the street in her high heels, looking confident and beautiful. He watched her with a father's pride. Sadie knew where she was going with her life, and even though he would always worry, it was Jude who was utmost in his mind.

* * *

"Here!" he rolled his eyes and dropped his cup in front of her next to her own drink, making her blink in surprise. "You've been eyeing it like a dominatrix with a new studded whip" Jude rolled her eyes at her friend's colorful simile and gave him back his double shot nonfat Caramel Macchiato. She got her fix in the morning, kind of…A small smile crept to her lips at the game she had started, seeing how much she could affect Tommy with just her lips. He hadn't complained--too much.

"Thanks, but I'm off caffeine," she said a little mournfully as she tried to make the sip of tea seem as good as that rich dark liquid. Jude reached for her oversized cookie instead and took a bite. "So what's up Mase?" He had called her last night and asked her out for coffee, saying he had a surprise. She was glad to get out of the apartment, with her hours at work slashed this week and Tommy busy with his job. And she had missed seeing Mason now that classes were over.

"Guess who I ran into on campus?" He had a job at the registrars office for the summer, and it paid okay even if it was boring as hell. She shrugged and broke off another piece of cookie. "McCormack."

"And…" She wondered why he thought she would care that he had seen their professor.

"She asked me about you--if I knew how to get in contact with you--said she called your apartment and expected you to call back, but you didn't." Jude tensed, knowing that Jamie had probably gotten the message and not bothered to tell her. She hoped it had nothing to do with her grade for the class…

"Why? I mean the showcase went well right? And I did okay on the exam--" Mason shook his head as he savored his coffee, Jude making him slightly uncomfortable at the way she eyed his cup.

"It's nothing like that. Jeff Clancy from Fearless Records called her to ask about you. He left her his number for you and wanted you to call him back."

"What? Why?"

"Duh. He wants to sign you of course." He had an endearing grin on his face as he said the words excitedly. Jude was suddenly overwhelmed at the thought. She had not let herself think about making it as a singer for a really long time. Mason took a piece of paper out of his pocket and slid it towards her on the table.

"You really think that's what he wants?" she asked in slight disbelief which Mason cocked an eyebrow at. He wondered why she didn't seem more elated; this was the chance of a lifetime for any musician after all.

"Jude why else would he try to find you? This is it baby--It's your shot." She could only stare down at the white paper and meaningless lines that formed words and a phone number. Was she really ready to think about trying again--especially with so much else going on in her life?

* * *

"Sonic perfection." Tommy said as he adjusted the final fadeout for the song, grinning over at his friend. Kwest did not comment even though he agreed, simply nodding, not saying anything about the amount of time and effort Tommy had spent on Jude's songs. Tommy was already anticipating her reaction to what he had done with her music, wanting to show her how good it could sound. He pressed a couple of keys on the laptop and her music flooded the room. He just wanted to make sure it was perfect as he listened. Kwest did also, surprised at how good it really was, neither of them noticing the tall man at the doorway doing the same.

"Is that Jude?" Darius spoke up in an authoritative tone when the last track had ended. Tommy swiveled to face him as Kwest merely turned his head knowing he wasn't the one being asked. He picked up his cup and headed passed Darius.

"Yeah, but--" Darius broke into a toothy smile that had Tommy tensing.

"You were right T. She's perfect--She's what we need right now."

"But Dar--" Tommy protested, not sure what to tell him.

"Sign her T. I don't care how you do it."

"But D. there's something you should…" Darius interrupted before he could finish.

"Is she under contract?" Tommy shook his head mutely.

"Then there's no problem. Get it done. You owe me T. In exchange I'll give you what we talked about. Otherwise the only contract you're ever going to see is as a producer." Darius threatened in a no nonsense way, making Tommy clench his jaw. Darius knew he wanted to try singing again, had been thinking about it for some time now. Darius softened his eyes, believing he had won. "I'll even let you have Frozen back," he said, mentioning Tommy's attempt at a solo album made years ago right after he had quit his boy band Boyz Attack. He had told him back then it was weak and locked it in the vaults, causing Tommy to abandon his dream. "Although I don't recommend you use anything off of it--We clear?" Tommy nodded curtly, hating the power the other man still had over him. Darius swaggered out leaving him staring after him.


	19. Chapter 17

_Okay hmm. I didn't get a single review for my last chapter so, I really considered leaving this incomplete. I guess we'll see. So enjoy. I had this chapter written way back in the beginning of the story. Enjoy!_

**_Chapter 17_**

"Hey man it's me again. I get why you don't want to talk to me. How're you and Jude? Cuz I saw her the other night and…Just call me back Jamie." Jamie could hear the frustration in the normally mellow Spiederman's voice and wondered why he cared about his relationship with Jude. And where had he run into her? Maybe he would get back to him some other time, but right now he had more important things to do. He opened the lobby door and stepped in.

* * *

This was exactly what she had wanted for her birthday, low key with a gorgeous guy who looked at her like she was the last drink of water in a desert. He had come home early from work and insisted on cooking her dinner since she had not wanted to go out. He had given her a CD of her songs that he had personally mixed and she had been awed and touched that he had done it and had never thought she could sound so good. And now with a pleasantly full belly--who knew he could cook--and his eyes still hot on hers she found herself wanting something else entirely.

Her teeth grazed his neck and then her tongue came out to trace the slight indent she had left on his skin. He groaned as his hands slipped to her waist, touching the bare flesh under her top. He had her half out of her chair and was about to pull her into his lap when…It took a moment for either of them to register the knock on the door and then Jude started to pull away.

"Ignore it," Tommy rasped as his mouth found the slim column of her neck. Jude closed her eyes, lost in his touch, until too soon another more insistent knock sounded. Tommy growled in frustration and sat back. Jude grinned devilishly as her gaze slid over the bulge in his pants, his eyes following hers.

"I'll get it," she offered teasingly, knowing he wasn't about to stand up. As she stood from her seat at the dining room table beside him his hand snaked out and his thumb caressed a breast before she could get by. She let out a surprised throaty laugh before extricating herself from his persuasive hands to head for the front door.

There was humor and arousal in her eyes and laughter on her kiss swollen lips when she opened the door. The smile died on her lips as she stared at the person on the other side. His frame was slightly slouched, being one of those people who had never grown comfortable with his own height after his growth spurt freshman year of high school and he stared down at her warmly. They had never been apart for this long, except for summer camp when they had been eleven and he could only absorb her familiar features as he scanned her glowing face. There was something different about her, almost lighter? Did that mean she was ready to forgive?

"Jamie…Why--How…" She looked so gorgeous to his eyes and he noticed that she was wearing a short black skirt that he did not recognize, leaving her long slender legs on display along with her bare feet. It didn't seem her style, but she did look good. His eyes traveled back up to her face.

"Hey…" He looked nervous, his hands in his pockets as he rocked back on his heels. He took his hands out and reached awkwardly for a hug that she in a moment of shock automatically returned. She pulled back first even though in some ways his touch had been familiar and comforting, reminding her of home. He put his hands back into his pockets to keep them still. He felt the same as the first time he had asked her out, nervous, queasy, but needing her to listen, to understand.

"What are you doing here?" Her mind had not had time to change gears completely yet, because Tommy was only a room away, and she could not fathom why he would have chosen today of all days to speak to her. He could see the questions in her eyes, still knowing her at least this well.

"We've never spent your birthday apart before. I went by Sadie's place and got your address from her roommate. I can't believe you couldn't even tell me where you were Jude." There was hurt in his eyes that even now she found she wanted to respond to. She was about to apologize, but he shook his head. "Never mind. That's not what I came to say." He had promised himself he wouldn't assign blame any longer; they needed to move past that. He took a step forward into the hall without her asking and she backed up automatically allowing him further entry. "We should talk." Jude nodded and started towards the living room, praying that Tommy stayed out of sight, not that she had a right to expect that. It was his apartment after all. Jamie took in the matching furniture and black and white pictures on the wall, wondering not for the first time who Jude's new roommate was.

He was abrupt as he blurted out his intentions before she could even sit down on the couch. She spun in surprise as he started speaking again.

"Jude I really---miss you. I was wrong, so wrong. I know it was my fault." She had no idea what he was going to say, his intentions completely eluding her, so she said nothing. "Since we both made mistakes, we can start with a clean slate. I mean I think we can try again Jude. You're definitely keeping the baby right?" She nodded dumbly too shocked to vocalize a reply. Of all the scenarios she had thought of, this one had somehow escaped her, she knowing his level of pride. "I thought about it a lot. I want to be the father. Because I love you--and this baby is a part of you. I've been going over it in my head and I think I can handle this-- I miss you Jude. Come home." Tommy had heard his plea from the other room and he couldn't remain silent any longer. He walked in, Jude seeing him first, her face a mask of confusion. At least it was only confusion and not a softening for her ex, at least not that he could tell. Jamie turned, noticing Jude had been looking past him.

"Tommy Q?!" He looked between them as Tommy got closer to her side. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Anger laced with bewilderment was heavy in his voice.

"Jamie…" Jude started. Jamie finally heard the soft crooning music and recognized the soft voice of Norah Jones playing in the background. Then he noticed how most of the lights were set to dim. This was a typical scene of seduction and a shot of rage caught him unawares, he having never been the angry type.

"You trying to move in on my wife?" Tommy just watched the other man silently. "What did you do, offer her a record contract? Is that how Tommy Q has to get his women these days? Now that your ten minutes of fame are up." That was the second time he had made an offhanded comment about her interest in a music career she noticed idly, her mind focusing on pointless details instead of the calamitous ones at hand.

"Jamie no…" she started to deny…or was she trying to defend Tommy? Jude never got the chance to finish and Tommy would never know. Jamie aimed his head towards her.

"I can't fucking believe you! Did you tell him you're pregnant? Or were you afraid that would scare him off?" Jude flinched, realizing that in the heat of the moment, she had not told him everything last time. She stood rooted to her spot, her eyes darting between the two men. It was the wrong time to tell him the facts, the wrong place--God the wrong everything! Jude just couldn't do it as she stared at the features of her best friend, wondering how they could be so far apart.

"Don't worry Jamie. She told me." Tommy finally spoke, a cold smirk on his lips. Realization dawned slowly in Jamie's brown eyes as he turned his head to look at the expensive apartment. None of Jude's friends had this kind of money.

"This is your place." Jamie stated already knowing the answer. Tommy nodded in the affirmative and crossed his arms in front of his chest, giving him a cocky look. Jamie's head whipped back to Jude who stood motionless as she stared at them. It occurred to him that the Showcase couldn't possibly have been the first time Jude and Tommy had met. What had she said? That she would be staying with a friend? And the challenging way Tommy looked at him, finally hit him with the truth; a truth Jude should have been brave enough to tell him from the beginning. "The baby…"

"Is mine." There was possession in his tone and it made Jamie tense that much more. Jude flinched and she wasn't sure why, maybe because he had stated it so baldly and she hadn't wanted to hurt Jamie, not really, not after she---what? After she had forgiven him? Had time to let her anger and hurt settle? No…The truth had been staring her in the face for so long she couldn't believe she had still been so naïve. She stopped being angry and hating him for his betrayal because she was over him, over their joint married life. It still hurt, the betrayal by someone she had trusted, but the ache was more distant now and her mind had started to remember the good times they had shared. How had it happened this quickly? Sure everyone learned to cope with hurt, for self-preservation, but this was so fast. She was genuinely okay with him now.

"You son of --" Jamie lunged forward his hand tightened into a fist. Jude watched with growing horror as Jamie swung wide connecting with Tommy's jaw, whipping his head back the slightest bit. Why hadn't Tommy defended himself? She took a step towards him, but he looked over at her and shook his head. His hand went to his now sore chin, and there was the coppery taste of blood on his tongue from where his lip had been cut on his teeth. Tommy had not evaded the blow; he figured he owed the guy that much for having his wife all these months. He did have a right to be angry.

Jamie panted heavily, his momentum having carried him past Tommy. He glared at the older man with such malevolence Jude almost gasped. She had never seen him this angry, ever. When Jamie caught his breath, he started another attack, but this time Tommy was not going to just stand and take it. When Jamie went at him again, Tommy dodged his charge, moving to one side and then his fist connected with Jamie's gut knocking all the air out of him and causing him to double over in pain. Jude gasped, unnoticed by the two men.

"Only the first one was free," Tommy growled by his ear, before he pulled back and straightened, pushing Jamie away at the same time. Jamie staggered a few steps before finding his footing. Jude cried out, but she found her feet unwilling to carry her to her husband. Rationally she knew she should be worried about him, but he had started the fight. She looked towards Tommy helplessly and winced at the bead of blood on his split lip. When Jamie finally was able to stand straight again, his anger was still intact, exacerbated by his humiliation. He looked at his faithless wife and she at him.

"You should go," she said in a low bloodless tone. What was left to say? There was so much naked contempt in his gaze that she drew in a sharp breath. He turned his head and headed out the way he had come. Jude jumped at the abrupt sound of the slamming door, before she turned back to glance at Tommy who watched her expectantly. She left him to enter the dining area and she reached for one of the discarded napkins on the table left from their meal. She dipped it in her glass of water and walked back to him with her arm raised. He stood silently, allowing her to dab the drying red liquid off his skin. When she was sure it was no longer bleeding, she reached up on her toes and placed her lips to the cut.

"I'm sorry," she said as she stood back and he took her wrist and pulled her back to him again. She closed her eyes and breathed in his faint cologne as he held her against him. He had never asked her how much she cared for Jamie, but now he wondered if their history meant something more to her than he had thought. All Tommy knew was that she had stayed, had shown no inclination to leave and that was enough.

.

.

Jamie practically ran out of the building, his need to get away from them so over powering. He pulled out his cell phone and hit the button to call back Spiederman. The other man answered on the third ring and Jamie gave him barely a chance to speak.

"What do you know about Jude?"

.

.

"We still have your birthday cake to eat," he whispered against her hair, getting a reluctant smile out of her. She shook her head and looked up at him her eyes shining with emotion.

"Tomorrow." She took his hand and led him into the bedroom. There had always been one surefire way to erase the turmoil in her thoughts and heart. She did not sense the losing battle he was waging with himself, the waning of the control he thought she needed.

She knelt on the edge of the bed and tugged at the hem of his shirt, letting him pull it off as her hands went to her own top. He stripped down to his boxers and leaned down to her as she scooted backwards against the pillows. His lips met hers more gently than she needed and she deepened the kiss with pressure as she angled her head to fit them more tightly together. It was like their first time when she needed him to make her forget the horrible thoughts that crowded her mind. Her fingers dug under the waistband of his boxers and peeled them down as far as she could reach. He took them off the rest of the way and quickly rid her of her panties.

Tommy sucked in breath through his teeth, closing his eyes to temper the overwhelming urge he had to brand her as his, but she had other ideas. Her hand cupped his balls, fingers sliding underneath to hold the weight and she squeezed gently getting a moan out of him. His light eyes flashed open and he looked down at her, openmouthed, her eyes dark with pleading. She encircled his hardness with her fingers and slid along the length. He held still, hovering above her, unable to trust himself. Jude wondered if he was angry with her, with this situation she had put him in. She lifted herself up and her mouth found his small male nipple, her tongue circling as her hand continued to stroke his hardness.

His hand went out to grasp her hair suddenly, holding her head still, causing her eyes to raise to his in shock. With his other hand he pushed her fingers away from his arousal. Then his hand stroked along her thigh, sliding inwards to the juncture of her heat and his fingers delved in without preamble. She was already wet, but unprepared for the sudden intrusion, a slight cry escaping her lips. He froze and stared down at her, her lips parted as her lower body pulsed around his fingers. He watched her eyes as his thumb pushed back the hood of her sensitive nub, brushing against the taut skin insistently. Her hips raised up to meet his pressing hand and her arm raised to pull his head down to meet her lips. They did not try to gentle his lips, instead drinking deeply, tasting, grasping for more. His hand slid down her thigh to her knee, and lower as he pulled back from the kiss. He held her slender ankle in his fingers and he raised it high to rest on his shoulder. She was spread wide at an almost unnatural angle, open to his every whim. He position his hardness at her center, pressing in swiftly, pushing her leg against her own chest. His hand gripped the top of her thigh as the other found hers. Their fingers entwined as he pulled back and thrust in again, finding a driving rhythm that had Jude gasping her turned head into the pillows.

With every stroke her inner muscles seemed to want keep him there, tightening around him in a way that made the blood rush out of his brain completely. Their only focus was the points where they joined, where they touched and even though his pace was quick he tried desperately to prolong this moment. Jude's fingers tightened on his as she felt the edge of pleasure start, building with every delicious rub of his body against hers. She couldn't hold in the cry as the ripples started and her body convulsed hard on his arousal. Tommy's back arched back as his hips thrust forward, burying deep inside her wet warmth. A guttural growl was ripped from his lips as he came, the waves of sensation rolling over him.

As sanity returned he knew enough to shift so that she could lower her leg down to the bed, leaving him between them. He lowered himself so his face was close to hers and he studied her features, her eyes in a blind panic. What he saw in her face kept him from losing it completely. She looked dazed, slightly unfocused, but there was no fear in her eyes.

"Jude--God I--are you…" He started to roll away, but her hand on his arm halted him.

"Tommy it's okay." He shook his head in denial. "I wanted this just as much as you did." She met his eyes with honesty in her own. He let her pull him down against her, albeit with reluctance. "Besides I like it, that I can make you lose control," she whispered into his ear. He groaned against her breast, but the light shake of her laugh had him smiling. Because they were in front of him and because he could not resist, his head shifted and his mouth took in a taut pink nipple, rolling it around on his tongue causing a hitch of breath from her. At this he was good and he would make her forget even the ghost of a thought of another man.

* * *

Kwest noticed Tommy's grin and had to do a double take. He followed his friend's gaze through the glass doors to see the slim blond giving them a wave. Tommy gestured with a crooked finger for her to come in.

"Hey you almost ready?" she asked Tommy before turning her attention to Kwest. "Hi Kwest. Good to see you."

"Hey Jude." Her eyes tightened for a moment and he realized his mistake. "Oh sorry…forgot about the Beatles thing." She shrugged and her gaze caught Tommy's again.

"Just give me ten minutes." Tommy said with some intense eye contact before his attention went back to the controls.

"Sure." Jude left the room and wandered back into the lobby reaching down to flip through the latest copy of Spin Magazine in the Hospitality area.

"So where you two headed?"

"Uh we enrolled in this prenatal nutrition cooking class thing." Tommy said with a slight hint of embarrassment in his voice as he played back the track. Kwest studied his friend intently. Unease ran through him at the way Tommy had seemed to jump into this happy family thing so quickly. Tommy had broken a lot of hearts and never apologized for it, except once.

"So how's the living together going?" Kwest started in slowly, feeling his way into the conversation he believed needed to happen.

"Good. It was tense at first, but we're getting used to it."

"Why didn't you just rent her, her own space? I know you got the money for it. Was it really a good idea to set her up in your crib?"

"She wouldn't let me do that man. You don't get it. Jude's not out for anything. She's not like that." Kwest knew that too, had seen her honesty and lack of artifice. She was kind of refreshing compared to Tommy's past girlfriends.

"What are you doing Tom? You're gonna be tied to her for at least eighteen years. You think it's really a good idea to get involved with her? I know you man." Tommy couldn't deny the things he said, but he didn't have to like Kwest bringing it up. "I like Jude. She's not like your usual women. What happens when she falls for you?" Tommy found himself wondering if that would be a bad thing. He thought it might be what he wanted.

"What's so bad about that?"

"What happens when you break her heart?" Tommy felt like his best friend, who he trusted more than most when he did not do so easily or often, had just punched him in the gut. So few people in his life have ever shown faith in him and this now, when he was trying hard to be who Jude needed…

"What are you saying? That it was alright for us to be fuck buddies, but wrong for me to want more from the mother of my kid?"

"What was your longest relationship? Hell when was your last relationship?" Kwest wasn't surprised by the icy glare directed his way. Tommy had perfected that look years ago. That was his M.O. he would be fine at first, the perfect boyfriend, perfect lover, then he would find himself getting too close and then push the other person away. Kwest had seen it countless time, although he had never seen Tommy this close or this happy with a woman, but it was only a matter of time before he would self-sabotage. He always did and this time he couldn't do that to her; she was the mother of his child. And although Kwest had to give him props for the way he was supporting Jude, he couldn't help thinking that the other shoe would drop.

The thick silence was broken by Jude's voice as she swung her head into the doorway. She looked between them with a small frown, not failing to notice the cloying tension permeating off the two men, testosterone on overdrive.

"We can finish up tomorrow," he said coldly before getting to his feet. That was typical Tommy too, running from things he didn't want to hear. Kwest would not apologize this time, there was much more at stake than a simple broken heart.

"Something wrong?" she asked in puzzlement. Tommy smoothed his face and his eyes softened at her presence.

"No. Let's go," he replied without acknowledging his so-called friend again. Tommy took her hand, linking their fingers and tugged her towards the doorway. Kwest could not fail to notice the intimate gesture and the way her mere presence calmed Tommy. He sincerely hoped he was wrong.

"Bye Kwest." Jude called as Tommy pulled her out of the room.

Tommy left in anger even as doubts started to plague him. Was Kwest right? Tommy wanted this to work out more badly than he had wanted anything in a longtime. But at the same time he didn't want to think of the possibility of losing Jude or their child out of his life. Could he stop himself from hurting her, even though that always seemed to happen to anyone he had ever cared about? He hadn't spoken to her about Darius's demand to sign her yet. He hadn't been sure what to tell her, how much he needed to reveal.


	20. Chapter 18

_Hi guys, extra thanks for all the lovely reviews. Don't ever think we don't enjoy reading what you have to say. Otherwise I don't know if you guys are still interested. Anyway the song is Better Sorry Than Safe by Halestorm. ENJOY!_

**Chapter Eighteen**

**.  
**

So of course it was a surprise to see who had signaled the bell above the door, walking in as if he didn't have a care in the world when she hadn't expected to hear from him again anytime soon after the debacle of the other night. Jude had been sitting on the fake leather covered stool at the counter, doodling in her journal, this time of the afternoon always being pretty slow when her energy took a sudden nosedive. It had only been four or was that five days since the horrible scene at Tommy's place and Jude frowned as she took in something different about her husband. Yes the clothing was the same, loose jeans, oversized Sonic Youth t-shirt, army boots. No glasses, she finally realized. She had been so used to them on, his face now looked naked to her without them, incomplete. She bristled at his invasion of what she considered her territory. If more time had passed, scratch that, if he had let time go by maybe she wouldn't feel so defensive, because he had not come in alone.

The girl was petite with curly brown hair and a sweet, sweet smile which at the current moment was aimed at Jamie. Jude could not make out her eye color from this distance, as she followed their movements towards the back of the racks. He had not glanced this way once, but she knew he knew she was working and watching; how could he not? This had been so deliberate and…petty? Like she had thought before, maybe if he had let time go by she would have been happy for him that he had moved on. But this…mere days after he had asked for a reconciliation… She wasn't stupid enough to buy it. There was one thing Jamie had not counted on however. The only time Jude had ever felt jealousy over a man, oh sure there were plenty of times she had felt jealousy over her gorgeous older sister's many accomplishments, yes when they'd both been in high school together--But over a man; only once and that had been a few weeks ago and that man had obviously not been her husband. Jude wondered at herself. Had her feelings really transferred so easily to someone else and were they even remotely close to the same feelings she had once felt for Jamie? She didn't have any more time to mull it over because they had started towards her spot at the counter.

"Hey Jude," he said it with a nasty bite and he knew how much she detested that stupid Beatles reference.

"Jamie." Jude took in the almost pixyish looking girl who only held curiosity in her green eyes. It appeared Jamie had not told his new friend who Jude was, not that that bothered her over much. Jamie turned to his friend deliberately with a smile on his face.

"Oh sorry I forgot. Allie this is Jude, Jude Allie." Both of them nodded and said their tentative hello's. Jude studied the girl, who seemed…nice, she finally concluded as Allie asked whether or not they special ordered for customers. Her voice was almost girlish, high and light and Jude frowned staring at Jamie. He seemed to have no interest in Allie at all, his attention focused on whether he had gotten to Jude rather than the girl he brought in. Jude had nothing to compare to the spiteful way Jamie was acting right now. Allie genuinely seemed to be into him and he…

"So Jamie. How come you never bothered to tell me Jeff Clancy was looking for me?" If Mason hadn't run into Professor McCormack on campus and asked if he had a current number for Jude, she would never have found out the record label wanted to speak to her at all. It was a good thing her friend had gotten the message to her and the number of the A & R rep. She still wasn't sure she wanted to pursue singing, but the opportunity was rare she knew and it had felt really good to be behind that glass at G-Major. Jamie had obviously been screening the calls. Although there was denial on his lips, she saw the flash of recognition in his brown eyes before he could hide it; guess the lack of glasses gave her an added advantage too. Allie looking between them was even more puzzled now and Jude felt no need to censor her words, because she knew the other girl was better off without this jerk version of Jamie Andrews. "Did you find a roommate yet?" He finally had the grace to look uncomfortable as she pinned him with a stare, while Allie looked at him a little wide-eyed. Jude felt kind of bad for having to burst this innocent seeming girl's bubble, but it was better for her to know now than to find out later. How had she become the cynical one?

"So how exactly do you know each other?" Allie asked, suspicion creeping in. She was definitely not slow, naïve maybe, but not slow, Jude thought.

"Hmm well we lived next door to each other growing up--Then he proposed at our Senior Prom." Jude said nonchalantly.

"You're married…" Allie whispered and her eyes grew round as saucers.

"We're separated." Jude informed her. She pretended ignorance as she turned back to Jamie. "You didn't tell her?" She asked innocently and Jamie blanched. Allie glared at him before grabbing her purse off the counter. She started for the front door with Jamie staring at her in horror, frozen in place. He glanced at her and then back at Jude.

"Who are you?" Jude asked in a low puzzled tone. Where had the sweet, supportive, loyal boy she had known practically known her whole life gone? How had he become this inferior version?

"It was you." He snarled before he finally decided to take off after Allie. Jude had barely registered his hand going to his jacket pocket to extract something. She watched, stunned as he left with a loud clang of the bell over head. She stared down at the folded notebook paper he had thrown onto the counter. She picked it up with shaking fingers and read the words she had barely remembered, hidden behind the bureau because she hadn't wanted Jamie to ever find it. She had written them after a vicious fight about money at the beginning of the semester just to release steam. But now she wondered if maybe deep down she had known herself better than she had admitted.

_I can't even think of one good reason  
Why I'm always thinkin about leavin  
It's not like everything's so horrible  
Been together for a few years now  
And you know all my ins and outs  
But everything's way too comfortable_

It wasn't finished, but she now how it should be done. She reached for the pen on the counter and let the words come, almost ironic how easily they flowed from ink to page. Writing always cleared her mind and showed her how she was really feeling, even though she was still not ready to write about Tommy, not yet.

Music had always been there for her, she finally realized, no matter who came and went from her life. For now she was satisfied with what she had down, although later she knew she would make adjustments. She reached under the counter for her bag and extracted a folded slip of paper from its depths along with her cell phone. First she speed dialed a number Sadie had programmed in.

"Hello."

"Dad, it's me Jude."

"Hi honey." She could hear the genuine gladness in his voice and smiled in reply.

"Can we meet sometime? There's something I need to ask you."

"Of course. I'm really happy you called." They made plans to meet for lunch again tomorrow. She knew he would let her borrow the money she needed to hire a lawyer, because he was her Dad and no matter what he had always tried to be there for her. It had taken her a longtime to accept that fact, but now she didn't feel the same animosity towards him and she remembered how much she loved him.

**

When he came home that night she was sitting on the couch, knees up to her chest, in a daze and there was a fearful hint of déjà vu to the scene he was not crazy about. His mind frantically tried to recall any reason she could be upset with him and couldn't come up with anything.

"Jude?" he asked softly and she looked up at him, seeming lost and unsure. He immediately made his way over and sat down, taking her in his arms. "What's wrong?" She shook her head, so he stroked her hair waiting for her to be ready to talk.

"Jamie came by the store today."

"What did he do?" Tommy asked tersely, pulling back to stare into her eyes.

"He was trying to flaunt his new girlfriend in my face." Tommy thought he might understand her distress now and in turn it disturbed him. If she was jealous then her feelings for her husband were obviously less resolved than she had led him to believe. Jude stared into his shuttered eyes and shook her head. She reached up and touched his cheek with her hand. "I wasn't jealous I promise. I was--disgusted at the way he was using her and I asked what happened to make him change like that. He was--never such an asshole before." He nodded in relief. "He said I happened to him. Then he left me this." She picked up the paper that had been laying by her side and handed it to him.

_I can't even think of one good reason  
Why I'm always thinkin about leavin  
It's not like everything's so horrible  
Been together for a few years now  
And you know all my ins and outs  
But everything's way too comfortable_

_From the moment I wake  
I plan my escape_

_I'm not scared  
Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me  
And I swear  
That I'll find it someday  
Just wait and see  
I don't care  
That you call me crazy  
I can't stay cause I need room to breathe  
There's nothing left to say  
Better sorry than safe_

_Sometimes I wish you cheated on me  
Then leavin here would be so easy  
It's time to take a chance and give you up_

_In the morning I wake  
And make my escape_

_I'm not scared  
Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me  
And I swear  
That I'll find it someday  
Just wait and see  
I don't care  
That you call me crazy  
I can't stay cause I need room to breathe  
There's nothing left to say  
Better sorry than safe_

_I'm not scared  
Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me  
And I swear  
That I'll find it someday  
Just wait and see  
I don't care  
That you call me crazy  
I can't stay cause I need room to breathe  
There's nothing left to say  
Better sorry than safe  
Yeah  
There's nothing left to say_

And the irony was, she hadn't been safe. All her belief in Jamie had been shattered by his actions. Everything she thought she knew, what little security she thought she had, had been ripped away by his callous actions.

"You wrote this?" She nodded jerkily. "When?"

"A while ago. I tweaked it today--added to it." It had seemed to demand to be finished and if she had said that out loud she knew without a doubt he would understand. Wasn't that another reason she was so drawn to him, in spite of everything? "We had a big fight over money and…" She simplified the weeks of bickering to that short explanation, although at the time it had been extremely stressful for her. "I hid it and forgot about it." They had been fighting on and off for two weeks, both stressed about paying the rent. At the time it had been just a way to vent her frustration, wasn't it? She hadn't really secretly felt that way had she? She remember that Jamie had come back from work one night with a box of her favorite strawberry frosted Pop Tarts, and had rented one of the movies he knew made her feel good, Eddie and the Cruisers II. She knew it was a cheesy movie, but the love of music in it always got to her.

"It's good. Really good Jude. So what's the problem?" She didn't answer him, ashamed, confused, questioning herself. His professional side wanted to pursue this, but he shut down any thoughts of Darius's ultimatum, still not sure how to approach the subject with her.

"What if it was me?" she asked in a small voice. What if she had been the problem all along, and everything that had happened had been her fault. Had she wanted him to be the one to call it quits?

"Jude no one does the right thing all the time--Least of all me…" He gave her a self-deprecating little boy grin. "But it takes two people to be in a relationship." He did not know where he pulled this wisdom from; his past relationships having not exactly been pictures of bliss. There were very few moments when he had been truly happy with a woman, even during the brief months of his marriage to Portia. He had to admit that Kwest had been right at least in one thing, he was good at breaking hearts, no matter that his intentions had never been that focused. He had simply grown bored and moved on and he knew this time he could not, not that he had even considered the idea either. She stared at the lyrics on the paper for a minute, thinking of the meeting she had scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.

**

"I need your opinion on something," she said it a little shyly, biting her lip, drawing his gaze to the plump fullness. He had wanted, all day, to be buried in her warmth or even just to be in her arms. His opinion mattered to her almost too much as she stared at his face.

"Yes your ass looks great in those jeans." She smacked his arm, even as her face brightened in a smile.

"Your _professional_ opinion. Forget that we're personally involved for a sec and be honest. Do you think I could make it as an artist?" Her eyes were serious as she gazed at him nervously, unsure. For him it was an easy answer.

"Jude I never doubted it for a second. You are the total package." She smiled at his compliment, knowing somehow that it was not just empty flattery. "What brought on the question?"

"My friend Mason called me out for coffee the other day…"

"The cowboy at your showcase?" She nodded, surprise flashing in her deep blue eyes. "He was good. You should tell him to send G-Major a demo." She nodded, excited for her friend.

"Anyway he told me Jeff Clancy was looking for me--from Fearless Records," she elaborated.

"Yeah I know Jeff," he said cautiously.

"Well I called him today and we're meeting tomorrow." She was unsure, but hopeful as she watched his reaction. His smile was the tiniest bit forced as he looked at her.

"That's great," he said with more levity than he felt. He pulled her in for a hug and inhaled, the slightest hint of strawberries mingled with her own unique scent. "Just don't sign anything yet okay?" She pulled back and looked at him quizzically. "Maybe G-Major can make you a better deal. Anyway you definitely want a lawyer in on this." She nodded, trusting his experience in the industry.

"You really want to work with me?" she asked curiously, having only secretly thought about how they would be together in the studio. He had been exacting and somewhat of a perfectionist when they had recorded her songs, but she had kind of found it sexy, the way he focused so intensely on the music.

"There are worse fates." She bumped him with her shoulder and he laughed, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side.

**

Tommy only knocked once before opening the heavy door that was the master control room of the studio. The man glanced up, headphones on his ears and a scowl on his face at being rudely interrupted. He took the headphones off and laid them on the desk, pushing a button on the laptop in front of him before turning his attention to Tommy.

"What do you need?" Darius asked without preamble, gesturing with his hand for Tommy to sit, which he did on one of the matching visitor's chair's.

"It's about Jude."

"Did you talk to her?" Tommy shook his head causing Darius to narrow his eyes at the other man. He was not used to his commands being ignored.

"Before I ask her to join G-Major I want some things cleared up." Darius looked thoughtful as he leaned back in his oversized leather desk chair, steepling his fingers, elbows against his chest.

"You should know Fearless is trying to recruit her too and she has a meeting today--" Darius made a noise of protest, but Tommy shook his head. "She won't sign anything today. D I want to be her producer." Darius appeared to be contemplative, but Tommy knew it was just for effect.

"Okay," he finally said.

"And when the album's done, I want your personal assurance if it's good, and I know it will be--You'll release it, no matter what else is going on."

"You're that sure she'll deliver?" Tommy had to hold back a cough at his word usage.

"She's the real deal," Darius considered his words, and finally nodded.

"I trust your judgment on this T. Don't let me down. I'll have the lawyers draft up something." Tommy nodded and stood up, letting himself believe that if they worked together he could protect her from the more unsavory parts of the industry, trying to forget what he himself would also gain from her deal.


	21. Chapter 19

_Thanks everyone for reading and those of you who reviewed. Happy Holidays and here's a little something to read. ENJOY!_

**Chapter Nineteen**

They met at an outdoor café across the street from Stuart's office building and his heart lifted to see the hesitant smile on his younger daughter's face, the sun glinting off the wayward strands of her once again golden hair. He would have to ask why she had chosen to go back to her natural color; he had grown so used to the punk rocker look of hers. Now she looked healthy and beautiful and all grown up. He wondered when it had happened and there was a pang of regret that he had missed it all.

"Hey Dad."

"Hi honey. No work today?" She shook her head, blond waves swinging as she set her bag down in the empty seat beside her.

"Actually…I might have something new lined up--Something more permanent." There was a glint in eyes as she grinned at him and he smiled in return. It still felt a little stiff, a little awkward, but they were father and daughter and it wasn't hard to remember their long connection. The waitress came up to the table and greeted her with a menu, leaving after Jude had ordered an iced tea.

"So?" Stuart asked eagerly, sensing it was big news his daughter was holding in.

"I have a meeting at Fearless Records. They want to talk about signing me," she said it in a rush as she always had when she was excited about something. At least some things never changed. His mouth gaped open in shock for a moment, more in surprise that she had started to pursue this path than that they would have wanted her. He believed she was meant to sing or to do anything she put her mind to. She laughed at his expression, finally letting genuine joy in at the very thought of getting a record contract.

"That's--" He was at a loss for words, but his proud smile told her everything she had needed to know. Although Victoria would not have approved, at least she had the support of one parent. Stuart shook his head a little dazedly. "How?" And Jude started to explain about the showcase and how she had not gotten the message until just recently.

"I wish I hadn't missed your performance," he said a little regretfully having always been her biggest fan, even when she had tried out for Instant Star long ago. She shrugged a little helplessly. "Jude about Jamie. Can I ask what's going on with him?" Their waitress had come back with her drink and she blindly ordered a Chef salad from the menu. Stuart raised an eyebrow at his daughter. "Salad?" Jude shrugged again as she took a sip from her straw.

"I'm trying to eat a little healthier these days." That comment caused Stuart to examine her more closely, but she looked perfect to him. She put down her glass and sighed. "Dad there are probably things you should know---Before you find out some other way." She took a deep breath before meeting Stuart's eyes. "Jamie and I are getting a divorce. I need to borrow some money for a lawyer."

"Jude---Are you sure? I mean of course you can have the money--But…" Jude decided in that instant that she couldn't tell him about Jamie's actions; it would only make her father feel bad about what he himself had done to the family. She was surprised at herself, realizing she had finally forgiven him fully. She nodded firmly, wanting to confide in him again.

"We just weren't right together. Not like that anyway."

"Jude do you need somewhere to stay? I have an extra room in the condo honey. I don't want you to ever feel like you can't turn to me ever again." There were tears in her eyes at his sincerity, not that her emotions hadn't been fine tuned by pregnancy hormones either. Tears had leaked from her eyes once or twice when the orgasm had been particularly powerful and she had to grin when she remembered the first time that had happened. Tommy had practically freaked out, thinking he had hurt her with his forcefulness. It had taken a lot of coaxing with her lips to convince him she had been fine and then that arrogant grin had spread to his mouth... Stuart watched the secretive smile curled on her lips and waited for her to speak. She blinked back to reality and smiled sheepishly, but quickly her face grew serious again.

"That's the other thing you need to know--I'm living with someone…"

"A man?" She nodded wordlessly, feeling suddenly parched and taking a large gulp of her tea. Grandpa Harrison? Gramps? She stared at her father and couldn't quite imagine it. Grandparents were supposed to be old and gray, not as young as her father still looked to her. "Was it his car you've been driving?"

"Yeah…Uh dad have you been to the doctor recently?"

"What? Well yes I had a physical a few months ago, I'm fine. Why are---"

"Dad," she interrupted, trying desperately not to simply blurt out the most momentous of the news. And then she just said it, the words spilling from her mouth.

"You're--" His baby was having a baby?!

"Uh huh." It felt like just the other day that he had picked her and Victoria up from the hospital. Stuart closed his own eyes for a brief moment, not knowing how to respond.

"Jamie…"

"It's not his. We uh--" She looked down at her hand, tracing the wrought iron diamond pattern on the bistro style round table, her naked finger catching her father's eye. "We were having problems and I--" She continued to stare down wondering how hypocritical she could possibly be. She had judged her poor father so harshly for so long and she had not been able to resist doing the same thing. "I met someone else." She looked up, the tint of fear darkening her eyes as she waited for his judgment, but he simply looked at her speculatively, only concerned that she was okay.

"The man you're living with now?"

"I wasn't planning on being with him, but--When I told him about the baby he asked me to stay with him. And--"  
"Jude are you happy where you are right now?" Jude was still conflicted about all the changes taking place in her life, but she couldn't say that she was really unhappy.

"Yes I--His name's Tommy Quincy. You might remember him from Boyz Attack?" Okay the question struck even Jude as funny, both of them had commiserated with each other over Sadie's obsessive need to torture them with the Boyz music every day for years.

"Jude I know you were mad at me, but that's really not funny." He held a hand to his heart as if she had jump started it with her words. She couldn't help it, a giggle escaped her pursed lips.

"Sadie didn't believe me at first either…" And Stuart just stared at her and somehow they both succumbed to rolling belly laughs that had them gasping for breath.

"So really?" She nodded as the waitress returned with their lunches, and asked if they needed anything else. They shook their heads and she left them to their meals.

"He's been there for me dad. I know it sounds crazy, but right now--Everything seems really good." There were so many things he wanted to know, but he was cautious, knowing it was too soon to ask her everything. He had been able to tell that there was more to the problems with Jamie that she had not shared, but that did not seem like the most important point anymore.

"I'll say it again honey. If you need a place to stay, for however long--" Jude nodded and smiled. "Would you like to come see the condo? I could take the rest of the afternoon off and--" Jude held her hand up and shook her head.

"I have to go over to Fearless later this afternoon. Some other time would be great though."

* * *

It was late by the time Tommy got home that night. He had been working hard to finish the album for his current artist so that he could devote his time to Jude. He didn't let himself wonder why it was so satisfying to know she was in bed waiting for him. The TV was the only illumination in the dark room and she had fallen asleep with the covers kicked off her legs, her hand tucked under her head. He grinned to himself as he removed his rings, placing them on the dresser and then he started on his clothes, leaving them carelessly on the floor as if he wasn't a bit of a neat freak. He lifted the sheets and slid in underneath them, behind her. He shifted her into his arms and brushed his nose against hers. Sleepy eyes opened with immediate recognition and smiled up at him.

"Hi," she said softly, barely above a whisper, almost drowned out by the infomericial on the screen. His head moved down and he nuzzled her neck, kissing the skin lightly before lifting his head again. He wondered why she still bothered to put on clothes to sleep in, knowing they would not stay on her slender frame long, knowing he would remove every piece to get to her sweet flesh.

"Long day?" he asked her, tracing the dark smudges under her eyes.

"Not really. Just saw my dad and Jeff."

"How did it go at Fearless?" he asked nonchalantly, even though her answer was much more important than he let on.

"They offered me a two album contract," she smiled; the situation still seeming surreal to her. Record contracts did not grow on trees and she knew musicians who had been playing for years waiting for their breaks. It was a hard business to get into and even harder to succeed at. That had been one of the many reasons her mother had not approved of her taking music so seriously.

"That's great Girl. So you really want to do this?" He had to know that much first. She nodded with a slow smile appearing on her face. It felt right. Her old confidence was returning and he was part of the reason even if he didn't know it.

"Will you take a look at the contract for me?"

"Sure." His mouth found the curve of her ear and even though she still wanted to talk to him about this, his persuasive tongue had her mind drifting away to pure sensation. Just like he had predicted a moment ago, her clothes were gone in an instant. His hand skimmed over her breasts, down her ribcage, over her still flat stomach and lower to delve between her legs. His thumb caressed her inner thigh as their mouths met, pressed together. Her hand journeyed down his bare shoulder to his muscular back, and further to his hip before scratching her short nails along his ass, causing him to tense at the frisson that ran through him.

His fingers parted the warm folds of her lower lips slowly, brushing up and down along the slick flesh, causing her hips to arch for more contact. She parted her thighs more fully, one leg hooking the back of his as his mouth left hers. He cupped a breast with his other hand and took a straining nipple into his mouth, rolling the small hard nub between his lips, raking with his teeth. She cried out at the shot of pleasure, almost ready to come at just that touch. When his fingers slid deeper between her folds of flesh, finally brushing against the delicate cluster of nerve endings she did shatter almost immediately, her body so much more sensitized to his touch these days. She panted slightly as she waited for the room to shift back into focus, one hand fisted into the sheets the other digging into the firm flesh of his ass.

He grinned up at her from his vantage point against her chest and she pulled his head up to press her wet lips to his, tongue pushing insistently into his mouth. He rolled more fully on top of her, careful not to crush her with his weight as their mouths melded together, sucking and teasing. He tormented them both, pushing his hard flesh against the juncture of her thighs, bathing the head of his erection in her moisture. He reached down and took his hardness in hand, letting the tip of him play along her folds, rubbing insistently against the swollen nub buried between her legs. Jude trembled against him, her teeth baring down on his shoulder as he brushed over the same spot again.

"Tommy…" she begged.

"Tell me what you want Girl," he rasped, his dilated eyes staring deep into hers even as his actions continued to drive her closer to the edge every time he grazed against her eager flesh.

"You--Deep in me," she gasped as she felt the head of him poised against her entrance starting to slide in, stretching her open. "Tommy!" And he shoved in, forcing his way through her tight muscles and hitting bottom with his thrust. Jude screamed out as the orgasm slammed over her, contracting against him, her nails digging deep, sure to leave bruises on his back by morning. He started to move in her, letting her convulsing flesh grip him as he found a steady rhythm. His head buried against her shoulder as he lost himself in the sweetness of her wrapped around him.

Jude clung to him, the echoes of her pleasure still vibrating through her skin. She lifted her legs, wrapping them high on his waist, angling him in deeper. She made demands, having become more vocal these nights and he obliged willingly, the sound of voice sliding across his senses even as his body slid inside of her. His mouth bit down lightly on her lower neck as he pumped harder into her willing body. And he felt the tightening of his balls as she cried out once again, squeezing him in so tight, if it weren't for her moisture it would have been a struggle to thrust fully into her.

He bit down harder than he intended, when release overcame him, his every muscles taut as intense sensation centered where their bodies joined. Tommy collapsed against her body, shuddering. Making love to Jude often drained him completely, but it always left him feeling euphoric at the same time. It wasn't comparable to anything he had felt before. When the blood finally started to flow to his brain again he glanced up at her face, her eyes showing spent contentment. His lips brushed up against hers and he felt hers curve into a satisfied smile.

Jude couldn't help it, she felt insatiable these days, even though Tommy tried his best to keep them both satisfied, so when his chest grazed against her nipple she couldn't hide the slight mewling noise that escaped her lips. He grinned at her smugly and she didn't have the energy to resent the arrogance of that look. He rolled onto his back and pulled her to rest half on top of his body, one hand pulling her leg up high to straddle his hip. He reached between her thighs and his fingers moved down between her damp curls again, parting her folds without preamble this time, two fingers sliding into her.

"Jude forget Fearless. Work with me at G-Major. I'll get you a better deal," he whispered by her ear. Jude closed her eyes in ecstasy as he manipulated her flesh expertly, only able to nod her agreement as he did things no man should have the right to know about.

* * *

"It's a pleasure to have you join our little family." Jude had the feeling the words were said by rote, as he watched her sign the last page, but she was excited despite her reservations. The new contract had been looked over and G-Major had one-upped Fearless by offering her a percentage of any profits they might get from her record sales. Basically she only got the real money if she did well and Jude had every intention of working for it. The major draw had of course been working with Tommy, whom she found herself unable to get out of her mind. "Natalia has some standard forms for you to fill out in the lobby and I'm sure Tom's expecting you." She assumed he was referring to the new redhead at the reception desk and nodded as she got up, knowing she was being dismissed.

Jude stared at the clipboard in her lap and the various lines that she was supposed to fill out. It was all simple standard stuff: Name, birth date, phone number, driver's license number, but it was the other line that was making her hesitate and she bit her lip in agitation. Address. She didn't know what to put down, honestly had no idea what would be the right thing to do. She didn't know if Tommy wanted anyone to know she was living with him and this was his work, he had been here first.

"Do you need anything explained?" Natalia asked, trying to appear friendly, but Jude heard that snotty undertone nonetheless. Although her hair color was different she almost a clone of the last woman behind that desk. Jude shook her head in reply and started to put down everything, but that one vital piece of information and too soon she was done.

Tommy wondered where she was, having glimpsed her in the lobby earlier, knowing she had been holed up in Darius's office for at least fifteen minutes. He stood up and Max, the engineer he was now working with since he and Kwest were still not speaking, gave him a questioning look.

"I'm gonna go get Jude."

"Awright." Max nodded and put his head back down to the soundboard.  
He found her right away perched on one of the lobby sofa's and saw her staring down at the clipboard.

"Harrison." She looked up at him a little surprised, but then smiled at his presence. "What's taking you so long?" She stood up with the clipboard still held awkwardly in her hand. He finally took it from her and noticed right away what she had failed to fill out. He grabbed the pen from her fingers and put down his address efficiently, throwing the form onto the reception desk for Natalia to enter into her computer and then file. Somehow they had avoided talking about what they would say to others about their relationship, or even if they would admit to being together. Apparently none of that bothered Tommy though and Jude felt her heart melting just a little more.  
Natalia studied what he had written and frowned, recognizing the address she had made a point to look up the moment she had started working there. This girl, this Jude Harrison was living with him. But it made no sense, Tommy Quincy never had steady girlfriends, preferring to play the field. She just knew there was more to the story and was fully prepared to dig deeper.

Jude gave him a bright smile as they stood together.

"Nervous," she shook her head quickly, but her slight grimace gave her away. "That's really cute." At that she smacked him in the arm causing Natalia's eyes to narrow at the playful banter between them. It was like some fatal curse at G-Major that every receptionist hired plotted to get Tommy Q's attention.

"Hello Mr. Quincy." He cocked an eyebrow, the smallest glimmer of a smirk on his lips.

"Mr. Quincy? That's not what you were calling me this morning," he leaned in to murmur against her ear. Jude didn't remember calling him anything, just a little screaming. Her cheeks flushed the slightest bit at the memory.

"No school girl fantasies? I thought you might enjoy a Catholic school uniform." He had to clear his throat at the blatant images she had purposefully placed into his head. "No." he croaked out a little hoarsely.

"My mistake. Anyway we're at work. Shouldn't we be professional?" Jude asked teasingly as a group of young men ran by and she found herself ducking at something bright green flying at her in her peripheral vision. Tommy stepped in front of her at the same moment, grabbing her around the waist taking the Nerf ball in the back.

"Were you a bodyguard in a former life?" she joked as he looked her over to reassure himself she was okay.

"Honey I'd guard your body any day." Jude's choked laugh made him grin once before he spun them both around and his grin faded. His legendary glare was aimed at a few of the only people Jude probably knew in the building.

"Jude?" Wally Robbins had to stare for a minute to make sure if it was really his high school classmate. She had changed her hair color, but the rest of her looked pretty much the same. Two orange balls bounced off his chest in quick succession and they all turned to look at the other shooter.

"Hey!" Wally complained and started to raise his gun in retaliation, but Tommy's glare halted his movement and he swallowed hard, lowering the toy to his side.

"Oops…" Kyle Bateman said with a sheepish grin on his face as he finally recognized Tommy's scowling countenance. Then his face changed to match Wally's as he recognized the blond girl standing with Tommy's arm still curved around her waist.  
"Jude?"

"Uh hey Wally, Kyle," she said uneasily as Tommy released her slowly, making the act seem casual. At that moment the third member of their trio came flying around the corner and halted abruptly as he saw the group of people. Spiederman walked up to them with a strange expression on his face.

"Jude."

"Hey Vin." They all stared as an awkward pause descended on them.

"Where's Jamie been?" Kyle finally asked, and Spied elbowed him in the ribs causing a grunt of pain to escape his lips.

"We should go set up," Tommy said to Jude, ignoring the boys clustered around them. She nodded and as they started to move away, Spied stopped her.

"Can I talk to you for a minute--alone?" Jude looked up at Tommy and nodded that it was okay at him.

"I'll be right there." Jude turned back to Spied as Tommy walked to Studio One.

.

He led her to the supply closet and she crossed her arms in front of her and stared. She couldn't imagine what he could possibly want to talk to her about.

"Jude it's Jamie. He's in a bad way--" She didn't know what to say so she shrugged helplessly. Jamie wouldn't want her help, she knew that much and she would be a hypocrite to try even though she still thought about the boy next door. Would she always think about him that way, bitter laced with sweet? Sometimes she wished they were still kids, before feelings could grow too complicated. Back then happiness had no price.

"How could you throw Jamie over for some has-been boybander Jude? I thought you were better than that." Her eyes narrowed to slits as she stared at Spied. "Is it his money? The fame? The contract?" He knew he was insulting her more than he meant, but he couldn't help it. He had sat with his buddy as he tried to demolish a twelve pack of cheap beer and winced in sympathy as he threw up the contents of his stomach.

"You don't know what you're talking about Vin." Jude tried heard to hold onto the anger, and not let guilt bring her down. Today was supposed to be a good day, a new beginning, another chapter to Jude's life.

"Don't your vows mean anything to you?"

"You're one to talk. I'm not the first person to betray him am I?" she said it sarcastically, unusually upset at his words.

"So what---you chose your career too?" Jude tightened her fists and stared at him, shaking her head.

"Maybe you should ask Jamie why we're not together anymore." Was he going around playing the victim now? "Because it doesn't sound like he's told you anything." Spiederman hesitated for a moment, finally listening to a different point of view. Even though he and Jude had never been more than casual friends, she had always struck him as a pretty cool chick and didn't he owe it to her to at least listen?

"I'm not that guy--I'm not trying to judge you--but I thought you guys had something solid. Marriage is serious stuff to me." He had always promised himself when he got married it would be for keeps. His own parents messy divorce had shown him how important it was to be sure the person you married was the one you wanted for the rest of your life. She shook her head again, wearily.

"Ask him what he did," she said softly, meeting his soft brown eyes.

"Wha--" She shook her head before he could ask.

"You're his friend. He should be the one to tell you the truth. I can tell you one thing though--I didn't meet Tommy until after something went seriously wrong." Her sapphire eyes were honest and clear. She did not deny that she had been with another man, but neither would she take all the blame. Nothing could be changed now, her heart wasn't in the same place and from their last conversation she had thought Jamie knew it.

Tommy looked up at her as she entered the room, his hands resting on the soundboard, anticipation catching him unawares. He hadn't looked forward to anything to do with work in a longtime, having lost that high of creating music somewhere along the way. Maybe he was a hair too close to burnout, working with too many people who thought of music as a way to get famous, a means to an end. He would say it again and mean it; she was different.

"So Harrison is there a song you want to work on or do you want to try something new?" She had already seen what it took to record a song when they had done that CD of hers, but she had never really collaborated with someone else to write a song from scratch. Why was it the only word that came to her mind was: Foreplay.

"Let's start something new," she replied and he nodded his agreement. He stood up and nodded towards the couch in the corner.

"Let's get comfortable then." She looked at him skeptically, his words not sounding so innocent.

.

Hours later Jude hastily threw her stuff together and closed her bag. She glanced up at the man who had reentered the room, his expression strangely light. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to figure him out.

"Why do you look so happy?! We've been fighting all day over those chords," she grumbled and then blew at her bangs which proceeded to settle right back in front of her eyes. He came up behind her, hands on her hips, his breath against her neck.

"I was thinking about the makeup sex." She turned her head to him in disbelief, her mouth parted. "Admit it Girl you loved every minute of it." She grudgingly admitted, to herself at least, that this process of creating music with him made her blood churn, her heart race, but she was not ready to admit it out loud quite yet. She stepped out of his embrace, raising her arms and faking a yawn.

"Hmm I'm exhausted. I can't wait to get to sleep. So I'll see you at the apartment?" They had taken separate cars because he had come in earlier than she. Jude picked up her things and made to walk away, but she couldn't help winking at him over her shoulder. He was quick to follow as she hurriedly walked away, grabbing her before she could get far.o;


	22. Chapter 20

_Hmm since there doesn't seem to be much posting going on I thought I'd give whoever is still bothering to read a new chapter. I am juggling three IS stories right now so sorry the updates aren't coming that fast, especially since I am not getting many comments on my other chapters. Anyway ENJOY!_

**Chapter 20**

Darius sat at his massive desk, glaring down at the magazine, a glossy photo of himself staring back, the title mocking him. The picture certainly looked nice, him sitting on an oversized chair in his grey Armani suit, red tie, appearing every inch the successful businessman, but if he had known when this music magazine had approached him for an interview, that he would not be painted in the best light, he would have shut them down before giving them the time of day. It had fed his ego to be asked to be on the cover of Mixer, but he had not known then that it would be a witch hunt. He had felt charitable at the thought of helping out a company that had just started out, even if their articles had already drawn buzz around the music industry for being in-depth and honest. Now he regretted that decision sorely as he stared at the title again his hand gripping the stress ball, he kept on his desk, convulsively.

**DARIUS MILLS, MEDIA MOGUL: BIG STYLE, LITTLE SUBSTANCE**

The leading article went on to recount his years in the music business and specifically chronicling the time when he expanded his empire and took over G-Major Records. They claimed where once the smaller company had been known for finding diamonds in the rough, now the artists he had chosen were best known for being flashy and looking good, but there was a lack of substance to their music, no genuine talent among the bunch that had risen to the top of the charts. Although his business thrived, he had sold out to the bottom dollar and had no right to run a music company. That of course had been the reason he had forced Tommy's hand and coerced him into signing Jude Harrison. As he thought of them, they strode into the building and he observed them through the one way glass.

He did not think it was odd when the two came in together, realizing a good producer, artist relationship was integral to creating great music. He did make a note to have Portia work on Jude's style however. He looked down at another piece of paper, a fax from a local concert promoter. One of their acts had pulled out at the last moment and wondered if Darius was interested in having another one of his artists fill the spot in addition to the two acts he was already sending. He pressed a button on his phone and spoke into the intercom.

"Natalia, tell Tommy and Jude I need to see them. A.S.A.P." He clicked off, not bothering to hear her reply. Darius sat back in his plush chair, tapping his gold ringed fingers against the armrest. Sink or swim. He would find out if she was the real deal.

* * *

"Two weeks?!" she hissed as Tommy shut the door behind them. "He's insane!" Jude started to turn, ready to barge back in there, Darius's slightly intimidating air forgotten in her own agitation at his pressure. Tommy grabbed her shoulders and spun her back around, pushing her towards his office, even though her tense body was unwilling, to get them out of the way of the eyes and ears of G-Major.  
He sat her down on his couch and crouched in front of her, his palms rubbing her denim clad thighs, trying to calm her.

"Girl." She looked up into his eyes and her mouth opened to speak. "Darius is abrasive and commandeering and manipulative and a whole lot of things I hope you never have to learn--" Jude made a somewhat strangled noise, ready to ask why. "But he's right." She started to shake her head in denial.

"What?! I can't…I'm not…"

"You can. You are ready," he said so forcefully, her mouth shut automatically. "Even when you said you gave up on singing, you've always been working for this Jude. You--" He tipped her chin up and caught her eyes with that look that had her heart doing flip flops. "were born for this." And she believed him, simply because he said it was true. How had she managed to find this perfect man, when she had needed someone so badly?  
Her hands went up, palms framing his chiseled cheeks, thumb brushing against that Cupid's bow of a mouth. His lips parted, taking it into his mouth, a hint of teeth before he sucked on the calloused pad. A thrill of sensation shot through her as his mouth pulled at her, until finally she ripped her hand away, replacing it with her mouth, her tongue. She tangled her tongue with his, and slid along the wet soft depths of his mouth, tasting and exploring. His arms went around her waist, pulling her forward off her seat, until she knelt before him. Her weight tumbled him off balance as she leaned to press her lips hard to his and he landed on his ass, pulling her with him until she lay sprawled atop him. She let out a small laugh as she stared into his eyes.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" he asked even as his palms cupped her tight ass, grinding her against him.

"Make me forget everything." Her head turned into the crook of his shoulder and her mouth found the lightly scented skin of his neck, tongue snaking out to taste. He gripped her flesh harder as she started to nibble. His fingers slipped under the back of her tight jeans, touching that erogenous zone at the small of her back that drove her mad. She gasped against his skin as he played lightly on hers, scratching lightly with his short nails.  
She raised her head lips pressing down on his forcefully, demanding access to his mouth, which he granted eagerly. His hands fell to his sides when she released his lips, hair draping down his chest as she wiggled down the length of his body. Her fingers made quick work of his jeans, before pulling them down his knees with his boxers, exposing him to her eyes. Color tinted lips engulfed the head of his impossibly hard arousal, a guttural groan escaping from his mouth as he stared down at the sight of her. Seeing her pretty mouth wrapped around him was almost enough to make him go over all on it's own and that was before she started to move. One hand fisted in her hair as the other braced on her shoulder as she took him deeper into her mouth, her fingers wrapping around the base of him, so that every sensitive exposed inch was covered in her touch. She pulled back so that her mouth could wet the entire length of his shaft, tongue going back to circle the tip.  
His hips thrust up involuntarily, blindly seeking the warmth wet heat of her. Once again she took him into her mouth, deeper this time, as her hand stroked the base in time with her ministrations. He felt the building pressure in his balls and hurriedly pulled her head up, wanting to feel her loss of control squeezing him as they came together.

"Take off your jeans," Tommy rasped and she complied easily, standing to remove her shoes and then peel the denim down her long legs. Quickly her panties followed suit and she straddled his thighs, he pulling her head down to take her mouth. His hands shoved her shirt up, and then his fingers pulled the cups of her bra down. His thumbs stroked the tips insistently, causing a shiver to race up her spine. Jude's hand reached down to take his arousal, stroking the strangely velvety hardness.  
One of his hands lowered to touch between her spread legs, finding the folds slick and then his finger found the hidden kernel. She arched her head back and gasped as he stroked her before dipping his fingers into her depths. One hand dropped to her hip, unable to wait a second long and his other hand slipped out of her grasping muscles. He pulled her up until she was poised above him and Jude stared down, watching as she let her weight sink her onto him, taking every inch deep within her. A hiss of air escaped his lips as a sigh escaped her parted ones.

Then she began to move with a definite roll of her hips that let her clit graze against him on every motion. He was thankful Darius had insisted on plush carpeting in here, otherwise he wasn't sure what condition his back would wind up in. Tommy reached up and found an aching breast, teasing it with his tongue as she rode him. Her hands reached out to brace on his shoulders as she increased her speed. She moaned his name as he raked her nipple with his teeth and she felt herself already teetering on that precipice. When his hand reached between their joint bodies, rubbing hard against her sensitive nub, she started to shudder almost instantly. Their rocking bodies sent him over as her convulsing muscles squeezed him tightly. He thrust up once and again releasing his pleasure, before pulling her down so that they were chest to chest. His hands brushed the blonde strands off her sweaty face and she leaned into kiss him softly.  
"We shouldn't have done that," he mock complained, not that he had much say in the matter once she set her mind to seducing him. Jude gave him a disbelieving look, knowing, feeling how much he had enjoyed himself. "You ruined my office," he stated baldly, causing her eyes to narrow.

"Excuse me."

"All I'm gonna think about is you when I have to work in here." Then she gave him a satisfied grin that made his cock give another twitch. She laughed throatily before rolling off him and getting to her feet, leaving him still on the floor. She adjusted her bra and pulled her shirt back down, before gathering the rest of her clothes. She stared down at him still lazing on the floor, pants around his knees and she smirked.

"Are you getting up Quincy? We have a lot of work to do," she admonished teasingly at his eyes that still reflected the dazed afterglow of good sex. They only had two weeks to prepare three songs and find a temporary band to work with before she had to perform live at the Osheaga Music Festival held in Montreal. The event drew thousands of people every year. Jude just hoped Tommy's faith was not misplaced.

* * *

Although not all of the audience had arrived yet, many waiting until later for the main acts, the crowd was already overwhelmingly big in Jude's opinion. But like her much smaller showcase, she had drawn in their attention and the applause sounded like one big crashing wave of sound. Jude Harrison had burst into the music scene in one day and Canada now knew her name.

* * *

Darius could not hide the big grin on his face as he stared down at the Sunday column of the local newspaper. Jude had been a standout, according to the reviewer, with thought provoking lyrics and addictive riffs, and he could not be more pleased. Most importantly, as a nobody, she had managed to win the crowd over. He pressed the intercom button and commanded Natalia to inform Tommy that he wanted to see him.  
Tommy strode in a few minutes later and sat when Darius gestured for him to.

"What's up D?" Tommy wasn't sure why, but he always felt like he was being summoned into the principal's office when Darius requested his presence like this and he didn't like it overly much. He had always had a problem with authority.

"You know how to pick 'em. You saw Jude made the paper?" Tommy nodded, remembering the way she had rocked that performance, even using the studio band she had barely had time to practice with. "Maybe you should be scouting too." Tommy balked, but Darius raised his hand to stem any further protest. "I'm just kidding T. Where's your sense of humor? "

"Jude and I were kind of in the middle of something so…" Darius tossed a sheaf of papers on the desk in front of Tommy, which Tommy glanced at before looking back at Darius.

"I'm aware of what kind of contract you're interested in."

Natalia held the copies that Darius had wanted and made her way to his office. She stopped abruptly, and shifted out of the line of view when she heard the conversation through the partially ajar door. She could see Tommy's perfectly sculpted messy gelled hair through the crack and listened quietly, papers held to her ample chest.

"Finding Jude and convincing her to sign was the best thing you could have done--for both of your careers. Glad to know you haven't lost that Quincy charm." Darius tossed a CD case on top of the papers. "Here's what we agreed on. Frozen and your own solo contract." Darius expected gratitude or some semblance of excitement, but found neither of those things in Tommy's expression. Tommy played it close to the vest these days, but still---There was not the slightest hint of satisfaction in his gaze at getting what he wanted.

"Anything else?" Tommy asked instead as he picked up the items before him.

"That's it. Get the contract back to me and we can work out how studio time will go." Tommy nodded, but did not comment as he stood up. They both turned at the knock on the door to see the redheaded receptionist peeking her head around the door.

"Mr. Mills I have those papers you wanted," she said sweetly, stepping into the room as Tommy made to pass her. She surreptitiously glanced at the handsome man as he left. "And I thought you should know--" She had been waiting for just the right opportunity to tell her boss her little bit of information.

* * *

Tommy stared down at the objects in his hand as if they were offensive. With the articles in his hand, concrete proof, he finally had to face what he had not done. He headed to his office first, to put them away, before rejoining Jude in Studio Two. He knew he should have told her the agreement from the start, but now it seemed like it was way too late. She didn't really have to know did she? It wouldn't matter to her own music. He was letting himself get distracted from the real point, that he had kept this from her deliberately.

"Do it again. This time take deeper breaths--you sound like Marilyn Monroe on that last chorus," he snapped, making her eyes go wide. Jude nodded silently and waited for him to replay the instrumental. Tommy had always been precise with his instructions, but he had seemed really terse after he had come back from his meeting with Darius.

When the day was over, Jude finally headed out of the sound booth she had been cooped up in for most of the day. She stopped in front of Tommy who was still making adjustments at the soundboard with Max. He finally glanced up at her, his look distracted.

"Why don't you head home. There's a little more mixing I want to do."

"I can wait," she said lightly, hiding her puzzlement at his manner. There was something off with the way he was acting, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Nah, I don't know how long I'll be. You should rest anyway. I uh--Might grab a drink later. Why don't you take the Porsche. I'll grab a taxi."

"Um okay…" He didn't see her frown, his attention already back on the laptop in front of him. "I'll see you at home…" she whispered and he nodded abstractedly, eyes never leaving the screen.


	23. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Jude's eyes flashed open as she registered the noise that had awoken her from her sleep. He had banged the open bedroom door against the wall as he had come into the room before shutting it none too quietly. She heard the rustle of him sliding off his clothes, before she felt him pull the covers up on his side of the bed and then the dip of his weight on the mattress. The scent of alcohol, he had obviously gone out for tonight, still wafted off his skin. This was the second night in a row he had come back this way.

"Jude...you awake?" he rasped huskily by her ear, but she didn't reply, closing her eyes instead. She felt him shift until his head rested on her pillow against her shoulder. "I'm not a good guy Girl. Why can't you see that?" he murmured drunkenly. She forced her breathing to remain even, and finally felt his body loosen into sleep, with relief. She didn't know what was going on with him and was half afraid to ask.

* * *

On the car ride over to G-Major there had not been much in the way of talk, small or otherwise. Jude had stared out the window as Tommy drove too quickly through the streets of Toronto. Whatever tenuous hold they had on a relationship felt like it was slowly melting away and Jude's thoughts grew darker as every second, without communication between them, went on. Guilt ate at him, but she did not know him well enough to realize that was what was causing his remoteness and not what she suspected, that he was getting bored of her. Guilt and Tommy Quincy made strange bedfellows, he fighting the feeling with his entire being, usually to the detriment of those closest to him. Right now the center of his world was the brunt of his misguided anger.

Jude blinked in surprise as she saw a twenty something, attractive brunette manning the reception desk. No one else, Tommy included, seemed to notice anything strange at having another new face sitting in that spot, all of them used to Darius's demands being too much for the women who invariably tried to fill the position. It would be hypocritical for her to feel bad that the other woman was gone; she had not exactly been the most pleasant person towards Jude.

"I'll meet you in the studio in five," Tommy said to her and when she lifted her eyes to his, there was a softness in his that had her confused, but more hopeful. She couldn't forget, even when he seemed to be distancing himself, when they slept together he always managed to hold onto her. This morning had been no exception as she woke from her light sleep, leg sprawled over his, his arm around her waist, the weight holding her down. He had even protested in his sleep when she had tried to roll out of his embrace and she hadn't had the will to break away again.

"Talk National Story Hotline. How may I help you?" A bubbly woman's voice had Natalia rolling her eyes. She had more class in her little finger than this nameless bimbo probably did in her entire enhanced body. Darius Mills had no right to fire her for being an exemplary employee. He had latched onto the fact that she had snooped into Tom Quincy's personal file and that had been it. He hadn't even seemed to care that Jude Harrison was living with him. She had wanted to keep this job so badly, but since that was no longer an option she would get what she could with all the information she had learned.

* * *

Portia sat in the costume department of G-Major sipping at her morning tea, reading the article avidly, wondering just how much of it was true. There had been no talk at work about Tommy restarting his solo career and she knew that Jude and Tommy had known each other for longer than this stated. Most of the time these stories were 99% fantasy, but there were details in this particular one that hit very close to home. Was Jude really living with Tommy? She wondered if she should warn her ex-husband, knowing he always avoided the tabloids and probably had no idea what was being said. At least this accounted for the extra media outside of G-Major this morning.

**TALK NATIONAL EXCLUSIVE  
JUST CALL HIM PIMP DADDY D**: _What lengths did G-Major's Darius Mills go to, to sign his most hopeful artist and how was Tommy Quincy used in the process. Read inside for all the juicy details._

Underneath the caption was a full color photo of Tommy, Jude and Darius at his birthday party.

"Jude it's Sadie. Stop and get a copy of Talk National before you head to work." Jude frowned at her phone, wondering what her sister was going on about. She was already running a little late, but some instinct made her take her sister's advice and it wasn't like she wasn't ready to spend a little more time away from Tommy. The man was so confusing she wasn't sure if she was ready to deal with him quite yet. He could be sweet one moment, like when he reminded her to take her prenatal vitamins this morning or later when he told her he had some paperwork to deal with and that she should drive herself. Maybe this slight respite would calm her down some.

Tommy looked slightly frantic as he hurried out of the studio after speaking to Portia. He swore more than a little loudly as he made his way to the front foyer. With his palms flat on the reception desk he leaned in aggressively. "Did Jude come in yet?" he snapped at the new unsuspecting receptionist as soon as she had hung up the phone. "Who are you again?" She gave him a startled wide eyed look and then glanced down again, cheeks flushing.

"J-Jane Mr. Quincy. I um…I don't know who Jude is sir," she stammered prettily and if he hadn't been all consumed with Jude he might have notice how creamy her cheeks were.

"The blonde I came in with yesterday."

"Oh…" She shook her glossy brown hair. "No I haven't seen her." Tommy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Jane."

"No problem," she squeaked. He didn't think she was going to last long if she didn't have a backbone to be able to stand up to Darius. "Um is there anything else I can help you with? Could I get you some coffee? Tea? A donut?"

Oh hell, she was another freakin' groupie. He rolled his eyes and managed to take the bite out of his tone. "No thanks." He continued to stand there, making her edgy, even as she fielded calls. Finally he saw her familiar figure pushing open the glass double doors. He could see the magazine folded under her arm and swore silently again.

Jude gazed up and caught his turbulent eyes, cocking her head to one side as she walked up to them.

"Hey," she said softly giving less than nothing away, frustrating him even more.

"Can we talk?" he asked calmly and she nodded as her reply. He studied her profile, trying to gauged her mood, but failing miserably. He had expected rage, tears, something…But she seemed---Normal.

"Sure." He took her arm and led her into his office at a quick pace.

"You wanna sit?" He cocked his head towards his sofa. She sank into the cushions and placed the folded tabloid on the arm next to her. He started to pace, a nervous habit he had all but outgrown, which used to drive his fellow Boyz Attack members crazy when he would walk up and down the aisle of the bus.

"Aren't you going to sit Tom?"

He winced at her usage of the more formal version of his name, but thought he deserved it. Instead of answering her he asked his own question instead.

"Did you read that?" He pointed at the tabloid beside her. She nodded and the small amused smile that lit her face staggered him enough that he had to pull a visitor's chair from behind to sit.

"You warned me that they would start writing about me once I started to get noticed--But I really didn't expect that." Her smile grew wider as she felt more comfortable, sensing he wasn't in one of his moods again. "I mean they made it sound like you hunted me down. You didn't even know I could sing. I mean where do they get this stuff? Like not even 1% of it is true." She had expected amusement in his face too when she swung her eyes up from the tabloid, but his lips were set in a thin line and there was sadness in his eyes. "You--" Jude didn't know what to say as she stood up suddenly, the uncharacteristic urge to get away strong in her veins. "You told me he was a piranha and then you--"

"Jude no--" He stood up ready to head her off, but she was too stunned to move anyway. "It wasn't like that."

"So Darius didn't offer you your own contract to sign me?" The hope in her voice almost destroyed him and he closed his eyes.

He shook his head and opened his eyes to entreat with the persuasive orbs. "It's not why I did it Jude. You have to believe me." He stepped towards her, and she backed up, the room suddenly feeling stifling.

"Like you believed in me Tommy?" She ducked her head and her gaze caught the offending tabloid again. All she had ever asked from him was honesty. "I need to get out of here."

"Jude--" She shrugged off his hand, shaking her head.

"I can't Tommy. Not now." His hand dropped to his side as he watched her, helplessly, open the door a crack to escape.

* * *

Sadie opened the door to see her standing there, vulnerability written all over her face. She drew her sister in with her arms around Jude's slim shoulders, closing the door behind them.

"Where have you been all day? I tried to call you."

"Driving," Jude answered numbly.


	24. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

The repercussions of what he hadn't done didn't fully hit him until the moment she shut the office door behind her. She had trusted him implicitly, without question and he had not known that until now. He had never had that from another human being. He had not appreciated how rare it was, how hard it must have been for her, a woman who had been hurt more than once by the people she most trusted. And now he could be considered among that infamous number, he thought bitterly. She hadn't asked for forever, nor love, nor promises save one: Honesty. And he had not bothered to even supply that simple wish.

* * *

Jude had no idea where she was going as she left the city, but as she passed the city limits she realized she was following the route her family used to take when she and Sadie were little, to go apple picking in the Fall. She hadn't realized she would know the way, having never been good with directions.

Jude recalled one year, the last time they had gone, her parents had let her bring Jamie. She had cajoled him into climbing one of the trees to get that 'one' apple, perfect, red and ripe and predictably klutzy Jamie had fallen out of said tree. He had been alright, except for spraining his finger and she couldn't help but smile at how he still complained it had never healed straight. Of course maybe if Stuart hadn't given him a cold can of soda to keep the swelling down, his finger might not have curved into that shape.

Jude sighed, never feeling as far away from him as she did in that moment. It was hollow inside her, that loneliness she had never ever experienced before. She had always had someone to turn to and wondered what she would do now.  
She got out at the edge of the orchard, the apples would not be ready for awhile yet, and stared up at the blue sky. She spotted a likely spot and sank into the grass, resting her back against the trunk of a tree, shaded by its fruit laden branches. She simply sat there staring into the lush green, trying to figure out what had happened when her phone vibrated once again and she took it out of her pocket. She should have simply turned it off, but in some twisted way she wanted him to call, to wonder…They weren't all from Tommy however, a few were from Sadie and surprisingly there had even been one from Jamie. She could not imagine what he would say. 'I told you so,'? She didn't think she knew him anymore to hazard a good guess. Her thoughts drifted back to even more troubling territory.

Words had never been overly important to her and she had mistakenly thought she didn't need any from Tommy. They got each other on a level she had never experienced with another, but maybe it had been a one sided understanding and she didn't really know him at all. She had thought she saw through the image to what lay underneath, a heart that wanted to make her happy, one that did not easily trust. How much of it was just her misconceived notions? Did she really believe he would sell her out to get a contract? Maybe she was stupid and naïve, but the truth was she had never believed that was his reason for having her sign with G-major. That wasn't what had her stomach in knots. Why did everyone she ever cared about, lie? Every person who she had ever loved… Jude froze in shock as the concept flitted through her mind at lightning speed. She wasn't ready to deal with her own feelings then and willed away the mass of conflicting emotions that threatened to pull her under.  
Jude scrambled up suddenly, feeling the need to be in motion, and rushed back to the car. She forced herself to pull out slowly and do the speed limit even though her body wanted proof that she was still alive, but now she had more to worry about than just herself. She took one hand off the steering wheel and placed it on her stomach.

"Hi baby," she whispered, feeling like there really was life growing in her, for the very first time. She felt calm settling into her as warmth filled her chest. She drove over to her sister's apartment, letting herself believe she wasn't alone.

* * *

Jude held the phone up to her ear as Sadie watched on silently, trying to satisfy herself that her little sister was really okay.

"Jude." His voice sounded a little frantic when he answered and she wondered what he was doing, if he had gone home. "Look are you okay? I--"

She interrupted, not ready to hear apologies or excuses. "I'm fine. I just---I'm going to bunk at Sadie's tonight."

"Jude come home. We need to talk."

She closed her eyes, fighting against the rightness of the word home. "Tom I promise I'll be back tomorrow. We can talk then. Just give me some time okay?"

Sadie sat up straighter, hearing the words, but also the tone Jude used, trying to calm him down even though everything was his fault. Wasn't she angry? Where had her infamous temper gone? Sadie stared at Jude's profile and couldn't help but wonder when she had become the adult. She still wanted to protect her sister, but Jude's heart was not something she could safeguard. She promised herself she would twist Tom Quincy's right nut off if he kept hurting her sister though, no matter that he had always been her favorite singer.

Jude heard his sigh before he spoke again. "Okay." It sounded like a struggle for him to get that one word out and her heart clenched at the idea. "I'll see you tomorrow," she reiterated, saying it gently as if trying to sooth him.  
Jude turned back to Sadie when the call was finished and found her sister staring at her.

"What are you going to do?" Sadie asked softly.

Jude shrugged and stared at her phone again. She wanted answers to questions she did not quite have yet. Where had everything gone wrong? When? She flipped open her cell phone again and speed dialed the first number on the list.

"Hello," he said absentmindedly after the third ring.

"Hey James…You called…"

"Jude. Yeah um I got the divorce papers," he stated in a way that made her unable to discern how he felt about it. She had hoped he would be glad, knowing how angry he was with her, or how angry he should be at least. She couldn't tell though. They were both so young, how had their lives gotten so complicated?

"I know. My lawyer told me," she said softly, waiting to gauge his mood.

"Can we meet up?"

She blinked in surprise and hesitated. "I don't--"

"Are we gonna talk through our lawyers now? Is that it Jude?" There was the slightest hint of admonishment in his voice, making her feel a stab of guilt. They had been best friends forever.

"Okay…" she acquiesced even if she felt reservations at seeing him so soon after everything that had happened. "Tomorrow at noon at Nini's?"

"Yeah. I'll see you then."

When Jude hung up, she wondered why he had not brought up the tabloid. She wondered if he had seen it, not believing there was anyway he hadn't. Even if he didn't read them himself, someone among his friends and acquaintances was sure to have mentioned it. She didn't know what he had told people about their relationship, but she was betting it hadn't been much if anything at all. Jamie wouldn't want to have to admit the truth of their failed marriage, not when he was culpable too.  
Jude dropped the phone onto the end table and met her sister's gaze.

"You're going to see Jamie? Why?"

"I don't know…I just---" Sadie waited patiently for her to finish the sentence, but she couldn't, unsure of what she was searching for.

"How do you feel?" Sadie's voice was soft as she made room for Jude on the couch. Jude sat down and sighed.

"Confused, pissed, guilty…" Jude stared into space, a pregnant pause enveloping them. Sadie would have spilled every feeling she had ever had, every thing he had made her feel, but she knew when it came down to it, Jude was not the same. Her outlet had always been music. Jude finally looked over at her, her big eyes tragic. "He's been so great--and being with him felt so easy Sades--He gets me," Jude felt herself pleading for Sadie to understand, strangely not wanting her sister to simply condemn him for those damning actions.

Sadie didn't understand it. How could she just forgive him for using her like that? No tabloid article was completely factual, but Tommy had admitted to the exchange of favors.

"That night of the party you seemed really happy Jude. How do you feel about him?" Sadie could have sworn she saw more between them than fleeting attraction. Even if Jude was pregnant with his baby, had he needed to ask her to move in with him? There were less personal ways he could have been involved weren't there?

"I don't--He makes me feel so…" Jude's eyes glimmered when she glanced up at her sister.

"What?"

"Real," she uttered in confusion. "I live with him, but I barely know anything about him. Maybe--maybe we just jumped in too fast. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be like this." Was having a child together reason enough to be together? Or was there more than castles built in sand?

"What are you going to do?" Sadie could tell Jude was emotionally invested in Tommy, in a way that was deeper than she had ever felt for any man, but how stable was it?

"I don't know."

* * *

When Tommy arrived at G-major the next day, the new receptionist informed him that Darius wanted him and Jude to go see him as soon as possible. Tommy really wasn't up to dealing with the meddling, power hungry man, having spent most of the night tossing and turning, letting guilt eat him up. And he plain missed her in his bed. He liked her soft breathing and occasional murmurs in her sleep, the way her hair draped across his shoulder when he held her close.  
He got comfortable in the visitors chair and stared at his former brother in-law, with a marked lack of interest in his eyes. Tommy simply wanted the day to be over so he could go back to the apartment and see Jude, to explain, to fix things, to try and change that forlorn look in her eyes the last time he had seen her.

"Where's Jude?"

Tommy shrugged one shoulder and sat back in the chair. "She didn't have any studio time today. I was just working on some mixing." Darius knew she didn't have studio time of course, since approval of the schedule went through him, but she could usually be found here mixing with Tommy or working on a new song. His gut instinct that she would be dedicated was right.

"I know I told you to sweet talk her, but you didn't have to ask her to move in." Tommy had been waiting for this, knowing Darius was a control freak. His not so limitless patience was at an especially low ebb right now and he had more important things on his mind then what his boss was obviously complaining about.

"She needed a place to stay, so I offered. Do you still think I was headhunting her D? Seriously?" Tommy scoffed, because if Darius had thought about it at all he would have wondered why it had been so easy to get Tommy to comply with his wishes, his ultimatum. "I didn't know she could sing, not for a long time." Darius thought it through in record speed. Everything would still go as he had planned. Their relationship would just be additional tabloid fodder, good for publicity. The public always liked the hype of producer/artist relationships.

"Personal relationships aside then--I want a single released as soon as possible. The concert put her on people's radar. We're riding the hype from the tabloid story. We need to show everyone what she's made of." Reporters on the sidewalks in front of G-Major always made Darius happy.

"Is that all?" Tommy made to stand up, not surprised at Darius's decision.

"Is there anything else I should know about Jude right now?"

There was an ironic look on Tommy's face as he looked Darius straight in the eye. "Nothing that's going to affect her singing."

"Did you look over your own contract yet?" Tommy shook his head, that having been the last thing on his mind. He walked out before Darius could stop him with more questions.

* * *

Jamie sat across from her drinking his signature hot chocolate drink, that was his favorite from this place, even though it was still summer and the air comfortably warm. Jude had realized along time ago that he was simply one of those people who did not take change easily, preferring the routine. But the thing was people changed, life did not remain static; she certainly had not. Maybe she wasn't the girl he had once fallen in love with, maybe that was why it had been so easy for him to betray her like that. She wasn't sure and now she wasn't sure it mattered.  
Jamie informed her that he had found a new band to manage, one that made Spiederman Mind Explosion sound like the amateurs they would be revealed to be. Jude did not argue that they were good, the real thing, it wasn't really any of her business. They talked of inconsequential things, and strangely the divorce papers were the last thing on her mind. Her brain was on a feedback loop, constantly bringing Tommy to the forefront of her mind and this had somehow become her past before it was even over.

"How does it feel to know the person you are completely in love with was only using you?" She looked up at him in shock, still unable to grasp how he could be so calculatingly cutting to her.

"He wasn't using me and I'm not in love with him," she breathed harshly, the very idea shocking her out of the rational numbness that had taken over her heart for the last 24 hours. And he hadn't been using her; she had never really believed that. Whatever Tommy Quincy's reasons for withholding the truth, they were not only for his own gain.

He scoffed as he stared into her pale face, "I've known you for longer than almost anybody Jude. You are completely obsessed with him. I always thought that one day that would be me you looked at like that--then I lied to myself thinking what we had was enough…" She shook her head in protest, her mind so full, she barely registered his attempt to hurt her, make her feel guilty. Why did it matter so much that Tommy had kept it from her, when she knew it hadn't been because he had been using her for his own reasons?

His small betrayal hurt more than it should because--Jude bit down on the inside of her lip and squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as if it could block out the truth, a truth that was deep in her body, her bones and her heart. She was completely and utterly, irrevocably in love with Tom Quincy and the worst thing was--what she suspected was --neither of them were ready for that.

* * *

Tommy never knew such relief as when he saw the Maserati in it's space as he parked his Viper next to it after work. She was back, he would take all the positive signs he could. He opened the apartment door quickly, ready to call her name, but she was already there in the living room, waiting for his return. She stood as he entered the apartment.

"Hey," she said softly, her armsfolded over her chest.

"Hey."

"Jude I…" "Tommy um…" they spoke simultaneously and both laughed awkwardly. He threw his keys onto the console table and walked into the living room. She sat back down and he was wise enough to take the chair across from her.

"Go ahead," he finally said into the silence that had fallen as they had stared at one another. She still hadn't spoken so he broke the tense quiet. "Jude I'm sorry. I didn't sign you for my own contract. It wasn't the reason I wanted you at G-Major. You have to believe me." She shook her head and stared down at her hands, clasped in her lap.

"I know--" The two words stunned him as her eyes did the same when she looked up into his. "After I thought about it--I don't believe you used me for that."

"You understand?" he asked in wonder, unable to fathom that it could be this easy. She shook her head again and her serious face gave him pause.

"I needed you to be honest with me Tommy. I thought you understood that."

"I did, I do. Jude…" He didn't know what else to say, not sure what she was going to say.

"All this time I thought there was something wrong with me. You've been pushing me away all week and…"

"No!" He stated too loudly. "Don't ever think there's something wrong with you Jude. You're so much. I--didn't know how to tell you. It was me. I'm a mess. I felt so guilty for keeping it from you."

"You're a private person. I get that."

"Jude I didn't mean to shut you out. It just--"

"We were two people forced into a situation neither of us was ready for," she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Can you honestly say I would be here right now if I wasn't pregnant?"

"You're saying this was make believe? We were playing house?" When her words hit him, he didn't even attempt to take the sarcasm laced scorn out of his voice.

"No! You need to understand--We weren't ready for this. We barely knew each other Tom. I'm not saying we wouldn't have gotten together…but…" She shook her head helplessly, at a loss as to how to explain. "This was all so much, so fast…We--I need to take a step back." Her eyes sought his out, pinning him in their indigo depths. "Tommy you weren't ready to trust me." And what could he possibly have said to that? It was true, he hadn't been ready to let her in--at least, not enough, not as much as she needed.

"So what does that mean--for us?" He felt any semblance of control in his life slipping away.

"My Dad said I could move in with him anytime I wanted."

"Is that what you really want?" She nodded vigorously to hide the indecisiveness in her heart.

"I think it's the best idea. At least for now…We'll still see each other at work and…maybe if you want--We could take it slower, get to really know each other." He nodded at her pronouncement, his eyes suddenly unable to meet hers.  
"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

"We jumped into this Tommy. It all happened too fast. You know that too. If it weren't for the baby I would never have wound up living with you. You like your privacy. I get that now. And I can't--I can't live with you, feeling like there's something else you might keep from me."

He stood up suddenly, unable to face her anymore. He kept his head turned away as he asked the question he wished there would be a different answer to. "When?"

"My Dad's on a business trip for a few more days--Maybe the following weekend…" He nodded curtly, before walking away to his room.


	25. Chapter 23part 1

**Chapter 23**  
**Part 1**

The reporter for Hollywood Insider was polished, attractive in a beauty pageant type of way, and long legged. She stood in front of the G-Major building as the camera zoomed to the two people assisted by security into the music empire. Her toothpaste ready smile was at hand as soon as the two entered the building without making comments to any of the press swarming the sidewalk. Jude Harrison looked every inch the diva, with her large sunglasses covering her face and Tom Quincy looked unusually harassed by the paparazzi as they hurried away from the crowd.

"This is Katie Trent reporting. Sources at G-Major confirmed that Tom Quincy has moved his newest artist Jude Harrison into his bachelor pad. Who is the woman that has finally settled the heartthrob? And is there trouble in paradise? There has not been a single confirmed sighting of the couple together in public. What is the true story? Is Tom Quincy finally off the market or is this a simple favor for Darius Mills?"

* * *

Portia watched them come in, had seen the last few days how he had started to shut her out, but now things had changed, not dramatically because that was not Tommy's way when it came to personal emotions, but subtly. It was Jude now, that tried to move to gain distance between them, and Tommy who followed, his penetrating eyes never losing her from their sight. Quite the interesting turnaround, she supposed, Tommy doing the chasing.

Later that morning Portia caught up with Jude and smiled as she waited for her to finish at the coffee area in Hospitality. "So you really moved in with Tommy?"

Jude started, having not noticed Portia's arrival. She was too busy trying to keep herself together. It was so hard to maintain that careful distance between them, when it felt so natural to touch him, to smile intimately at him. The paparazzi that had started to hound them had not helped matters any.

"Uh yeah…I needed a place to stay and he was nice enough to offer." Jude looked down at the mug in her hand, uncomfortable with talking to Tommy's ex-wife, with the questions, with the entire situation. She didn't want to rehash how she had wound up in this moment in time. Portia reached for a shiny black lacquered mug bearing the gold G-Major logo, on the shelf and poured herself some coffee.

"He didn't tell you did he?"

"Excuse me?"

"About his deal with my brother," Portia elaborated, her voice all compassion and empathy. It made more sense to her why Tommy had been so interested in this young woman now. She mentally chided Tommy for going after someone not hardened to this world they lived in. Jude wouldn't have known the score where men like him were concerned and she knew it wasn't fair.

Jude was not by nature a suspicious sort, having an inherently honest personality herself, but she recalled how this woman had spoken of Tommy before and she would've been stupid not to be wary. Jude shrugged nonchalantly, stirring her tea with a plastic spoon before taking a small sip.

"Typical," Portia snorted. "That's how Tommy deals best with women. He doesn't consider others. I wouldn't take it too personally if I were you."

A hint of fire lit Jude's eyes as she looked up into Portia's dark ones. "I don't think he was being inconsiderate." Her firm tone startled Portia for a brief moment.

"I've been there--don't let him do it to you too Jude."

"What?"

"You can't rely on him--to keep his promises--to stay faithful." Portia shook her head as old memories once again assailed her. She had been that idealistic once too, seeing the parallels even when there may not have been any, believing every word from his smooth talking mouth. He had once told her she was different, special too.

Jude was not convinced that they were in the same situation, even though it might have looked like it from an outside observer. "I don't--" Was she being naïve in still believing she mattered to him?

"What excuse did he give you then? It must have been pretty convincing--You don't seem like a stupid woman." Portia felt herself overstepping the boundaries, but felt compelled anyway. She had always had an unnatural interest in Tommy's life, maybe because deep down she had never forgiven him for the way she had been treated.

"Look Portia--I know I haven't known him as long as you, but I've never heard Tommy make excuses for anything. I don't think he even knows how." Jude fidgeted uncomfortably at her outburst, unable to justify to herself why she was defending him when she was still angry with him. "I need to get back to the studio. See you." Jude hurried away before the other woman could respond.

* * *

"Why didn't you ever tell me this sucks?" It had taken Tommy this long to work up the nerve to listen to this piece of ancient history, his biggest failure. Now he wished Darius had left it buried, where it belonged, along with his boy band past.

Kwest started in surprise, not realizing the Tommy had seen his reflection in the glass as he stood behind him right outside the doorway. Kwest was the only one left in the studio besides Tommy, and curiosity had gotten the best of him when he heard Tom's voice coming from the speakers. Even though they still weren't on speaking terms Kwest wondered why Tommy hadn't gone home to Jude already.

"I did it for this?!"

"What's going on man? It wasn't that bad…" Kwest cringed as he listened to the song continue. It was different than what he had remembered, rougher, the sound a bit retro--forgettable. He came fully into the room then, and took the empty swivel chair across from Tommy.

"I was eighteen--a stupid kid who thought he was the next super star." Self derision had never been Tommy's style before throwing Kwest for a second. Tommy was egotistical and arrogant and self-absorbed, not this man sitting before him.  
"What's changed?" Tommy snorted at his lame dig, surprisingly able to appreciate his friend's attempt to lighten his mood.

"I really thought I had something there Kwest." Everything he had pinned his old resentment on, it was all based on a house of cards. Darius had been right, and that's what burned in his gut the most. Darius had given him Frozen back now, when he knew Tommy was experienced enough to hear it for what it was, an immature kid's rambling attempts at being deep. Tommy felt himself losing his grip on his life, everything off kilter, ever since she had entered it. And they had been starting to build something real, but it felt like it was all suddenly ending. She had promised they would continue to talk. He was still producing her, but it couldn't be the same. She said they needed to get to know each other, but he didn't think that's how it would work out. The last few days had hardly been a shining example of open communication. They were as professional as they knew how to be at the studio, and at home…at home they stayed in separate rooms.

"What's wrong Tom?" Kwest asked somberly, seeing his normally implacable friend clearly rattled by something.

"Jude."

"What's wrong with Jude?" She had not come in today, but Kwest hadn't thought too much about it. She was a prolific songwriter and they were still on schedule. And since Kwest hadn't worked with them since the last time he and Tommy had argued he really didn't know what was going on with his friend's relationship.

"She's moving out--"

"Because of the tabloid? You did tell her most of the stuff in those things are bull right?" Kwest felt a moment of confusion and dread when Tommy simply looked down again, his fingers flicking at a pen on the soundboard.

"D wanted Jude." Tommy went on to tell him about Darius's ultimatum and Kwest sat back shaking his head. He had never believed his boss could be so tough.

"And you didn't tell her…Does she know about his threat then?"

Tommy shook his head. "All I had to do was tell her the truth--That's all she asked me for." She had never asked for much, just for him to be straight with her.

"You love her."

Tommy met his stare and it was instinctual for him to deny something that absurd. Tommy Quincy had been burned badly once and he always learned from his mistakes. He did not fall in love. "I--" But he couldn't continue as it hit him like a sledgehammer, like a Colorado avalanche. He thought about her all the time, wanted her every second, it made him happy to make her laugh and he actually listened when she spoke, even when his body was constantly aware of her every breath. When she opened her mouth to sing it made him proud that he could be part of the process. Why hadn't he realized this sooner? He had always been falling for her--even before the B word had ever been mentioned, and getting to really know her had been even better.

"Be straight with her. I know you're used to shutting people out man. But don't you think she's worth it?" That had never been the problem to Tommy's mind. He had always found himself willing to go further for her than anyone. "I see how you are with her. I was wrong. I think she needs you-- and you need her." Gone was the cynical man who put no emotional investment into anything or anyone. She hadn't changed him, just made him want to show the side of himself he usually kept hidden from the world. For all his cocky self-assured attitude, underneath it all Tommy didn't think he was worth much of anything. He was a small town boy from New Brunswick, who's own mother couldn't bear to look at and who's father had abandoned long ago. Jude saw something else in him though and her belief in him had put a crack into his walls.

"Then what do I do?" His promises could only seem false to her now.

"Start with the truth," Kwest stated plainly, having always been the more levelheaded of the two.

* * *

He heard the faint notes coming from the other room and closed his eyes, tightened his fists, trying to control the need to escape the sound. There were gifted musicians out there that could bring a tear to your eye with the way they wrung out every note from the piano, but Jude was not normally among that exalted class. Her gift was her voice, but nevertheless the sad, lost quality she seemed to bathe in when she sat on that bench had him ready to scream out in rage. Her hands played over the keys slowly, as if squeezing the life out of every sad note. They had not touched in days and the feeling of helplessness threatened to overwhelm him. How had she become so important to him when he never let anyone in? He had let her get to him and it was impossible to just shut her out now no matter how hard he had tried. He pushed the ajar door wide open, even knowing she wouldn't welcome his presence.

Jude stilled her fingers on the keys and stared up at him silently. She wasn't doing a good job at hiding her wounded eyes from him, but he did not comment on them. Her stillness was hard won, when what she really wanted to do was walk into his arms and let him convince her not to leave. She wanted so badly to believe in him, but she no longer trusted her own instincts. The things that she wanted the most, the people she gave her trust to, they had all failed her when she needed them. Jude needed to be a stronger person, because their baby deserved that much.

"What is this?" she asked quietly staring at the CD case he held out. They had not spoken much the last few days and he found now he had missed the sound of her voice.

"This was the solo album I was working on--Kwest and Darius are the only ones who've ever heard it. Darius locked it up years ago. He said he'd give it to me if I signed you." He didn't mention the other part of the agreement, or rather threat, knowing he didn't deserve an ounce of her sympathy. He dropped the case onto the ivory keys when she made no move to take it from him. "I listened to it and--" He shook his head. "--it wasn't worth it." She stared at him silently. "Even if it had been Grammy material…It wouldn't have been worth it." With one last glance at her golden head bent to stare down at the CD, he sighed. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry." With that he walked out of the music room, for the first time in a long time wishing things had been different. He had made more apologies this past week than he had done in the past ten years combined and couldn't help but think it had all fallen on deaf ears.

Jude finally moved from her position on the bench, removing the CD from its case as she went. She walked out into the living room, sensing that the space was empty, not acknowledging that she could feel his presence when he was around. Forgoing the universal remote that ran almost every electronic device in the room, that she had never been able to figure out, she walked to the entertainment center and opened a panel to reveal the elaborate sound system.

She knocked once on his half open bedroom door before entering hesitantly. It seemed almost an unnatural thing to do since she been sharing his bed every night. She placed the CD on his desk and walked over to stand beside him where he lay propped against the pillows, attempting to watch TV. His expression was unfathomable, but in his eyes she glimpsed a note of bleakness as he turned his head, the only acknowledgement of her presence.

"You didn't have to coerce me into it. I would have signed just because you asked," she said simply, not trying to make him feel worse, but succeeding just the same.

He should have told her from the beginning, but that point was moot now. What he had to know, was where they went from here. He had asked for her trust once, but broken it and not given any in return, not until now--when they had reached this juncture in the road, this crossroad. He hadn't realized how open she was with him, even though she had her own demons. How much trust had she placed in his hands, her body and something else, her heart? He hadn't known until he felt the absence, until she'd shut it away.


	26. Chapter 23 part 2

_I was reminded that I did not credit the song in this chapter which I am sorry for. I am the last person who would take credit for another person's music. The song is Torn by Natalie Imbruglia which is not one of my favorites but when I heard it on the radio it seemed perfect Jude's frame of mind. ENJOY!_

**Chapter 23- Part 2**

When she walked out of what he had started to consider as their bedroom, he felt an overwhelming urge to do something that had stopped coming naturally to him. He knew without asking how, that she would already be holed up in the guest room so he got up and headed for the music room and his acoustic guitar. He used the pen and paper she had abandoned earlier on the piano and words had already started to fill his head to overflowing. He had been pushing her away and in some twisted part of his brain he thought he deserved what he got.

_I want to take you for granted, well I will_

He had hurt her, wasn't it strange that he wanted her to stay in spite of that, wanted to feel that she would always forgive him his flaws? He realized that he did trust her and in that bleak moment, it still mattered.

"We should take a break--you look tired," he commented.

"I'm fine," she murmured, eyes downcast on the much abused paper, scrawls and words crossed out on almost every line. "Darius wants this done."

They had been at this for almost two hours, but both of them had been distracted, neither feeling inspiration at their turn of events. He watched her profile as she bit her bottom lip in concentration and without thinking he moved behind her and his hands went to her knotted shoulders, squeezing gently.

She flinched away, scooting further down the couch and his eyes narrowed as he watched her reaction to the simple human contact.

"You said you were okay with what happened. You were going to give us a chance. What the hell Jude? I can't touch you now?"

She reacted instantly to his harsh tone, as if she had been primed for this fight and maybe she had. Jude had never been one to hold her emotions in before, but with Tommy she had been hesitant to give them free rein. "You really think I just forgot that you lied to me!" When he stepped closer she stood up and found her palms against his chest to shove him, but he was immovable against her slight weight.

He grabbed her slender upper arms, holding her immobile, even though the fight had drained out of her as suddenly as it had come upon her. It reflected her fluctuating emotions so perfectly, one moment she wanted to hit him, and the next she wanted to simply give in and let him hold her. "What is your problem?" He was so tempted to shake her, but barely managed to hold back. All the frustration and tempering of emotion of the last few days now welling to the surface. The heavy moisture in her eyes as she met his gaze, caused him to let go and step back.

"What do you want Jude?" he asked, his voice not quite steady. He was not used to this, talking about feelings and thoughts.

"I don't know." It sounded torn from her, confusion laced into the words. "I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone." Why didn't those words bring him any solace? She had just admitted she cared about him, more than just a little. But she looked so defeated, resigned to her own unhappiness.

"You can't trust me, can you?" He asked it as if finally discovering the real problem.

"I can't trust myself. The way I feel about you--It's impossible."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"My judgment sucks." In that he heard her rejection of him, so used to expecting it from every person he had ever cared about, that it hardly surprised him now.

"So leave!" The sound reverberated throughout the room, better than the acoustics had any right to be, until finally all that was left was an eerie silence punctuated only by short breaths. It was, surprisingly to Tommy, the last thing he had wanted to say, the last thing that he could possibly mean, because the word that had been on the tip of his tongue was, the very opposite. And it surprised him, merely because those things Jude had accused him of, they had all held a grain of truth. He was that guy that didn't do relationships, the one who guarded his privacy almost religiously, the one who let no one in, but--Couldn't she see that no longer fit?

Jude fought to open her eyes, ignoring the sting of tears and her hand fell almost desperately to the notebook in front of her. She reached for the pen and ignored the slight tremor in her hands as she put the ink to paper. She reminded herself they were both here for work, and now finally she was inspired and in her own overwhelming emotions she was no longer afraid to write about Tommy Quincy, her lover and now the father of her child, but strangely enough, maybe no longer her friend.

"Jude--I.." But he didn't get the chance to say he hadn't meant it because she stopped him with a harsh sharp word.

"Don't!" Her waterlogged eyes, dark with what he was afraid was pain, stared up into his, seizing his vocal chords. Her gaze shot back down to the half scribbled words and blue lines of the page, and her hand continued its journey. All the things that she had held inside, came out now in a deluge and not surprisingly the ones at the surface first would not ease Tommy's agitation.

So he stood, ready to leave her alone to write as she so feverishly started to, but he couldn't do it. He paced the small confines and although she flinched when he bumped against a chair, causing it to scraped along the floor, she ignored him completely. But even as time passed he couldn't force himself to simply abandon the room, as if it was symbolic of something greater.

When she finally laid the pen down he stared over at her again, but she refused to look his way, instead reaching for her acoustic guitar resting against the end of the couch. She adjusted the strings unnecessarily and started to strum random variations until she heard something she liked.

"Can I hear?" His voice invaded the semi-happy place she had found while creating the song, and she finally glanced at him.

Jude shook her head. "This isn't what we're looking for…"

"I still want to hear it," he said softly, sensing it was much more than she was letting on. He understood that focus and intensity, in that bubble of creation where she had been and that zone, that space she had gone to, it was hard to believe she hadn't come away with something worthwhile. Maybe he did know here better than they both realized.

She shook her head again. "It's just something I need to get out."

"Fine," he said in frustration as his fingers ran through his thick dark hair. He finally headed for the door and she felt a stunned moment of disappointment that was short-lived as he reappeared a few minutes later with a cold bottle of water for her. He sat down in a chair across the room after she accepted the drink and listened to her trying to nail the bridge. He wanted so badly to help, but she would not show him the lyrics so he simply had no idea how it should sound.

Jude tapped lightly on the door jamb before resting her hand on the wooden surface, the upper half of her body leaning into the room. "Hey Kwest, you busy?"

He looked up and his brown eyes were warm as they met hers. "Hey J... er Superstar. What's up? Come in."

She was still able to find a little humor in his change of phrase and hoped that was a good sign she wouldn't be conflicted forever.

He eyed her a little strangely at the orange she was holding up to her face. "You're here kind of early," he commented instead and she simply shrugged unwilling to disclose that she wanted to get some time in before Tommy showed up. She had been extra quiet this morning in leaving the apartment while he was still in bed.

"Sorry…I uh like the smell." She stared at the fruit in her hand shrugging sheepishly and he laughed. She was too polite to say to him that she hoped it would mask any reaction she had to him. She walked into the room and took the other soundboard chair he gestured at. "Tommy told me you've done a little producing…" She looked up at him hesitantly.

"Some, for some smaller indies around here. Why?"

"You know Darius wants a single right?"

He nodded solemnly, holding back questions. Where was Tommy?

"I--Well I have a song I need to get laid down before I can focus on that. I can't get it out of my head until I can do something with it."

"Why not use this song? And why not ask Tom?"

She looked into his puzzled brown eyes and shook her head. "It's not…" She hesitated, but then chose the truth anyway, even if Kwest was Tommy's friend. "I don't think he should hear it…"

"Oh," he first said in surprise, then again in understanding. "Oh…" A feeling of foreboding swept through him, and he wasn't really sure he wanted to get into the middle of their relationship, but he being generally a nice guy didn't know how to deny her for that reason alone.

"Yeah…" she whispered, dropping the orange onto the soundboard and taking a ragged piece of folded paper from her pocket. "So can you help me?" she asked earnestly, making it impossible for him to say no.

Between them they had gotten a rough instrumental track laid down so that she could do the vocals. Since Jude never planned on anyone else hearing it, she hadn't been too concerned with getting it perfect, not that Kwest hadn't noticed her own small streak of perfectionism. They had become so engrossed with the song the time had passed without notice, except for the bathroom break she had finally been forced to take.

He nodded his head to the beat and watched her wait for her cue on the third take with immense concentration, the song already getting to him. He didn't know how she could bury this once it was done, even if it spoke volumes to how she truly felt. It just proved how different she was, in that she didn't want to shove this down Tommy's throat. Most of the women he had scorned over the years would have been happy to make him pay, Portia included, maybe especially Portia, once upon a time.

_I thought I saw a man brought to life _  
_He was warm, he came around like he was dignified _  
_He showed me what it was to cry _  
_Well you couldn't be that man I adored _  
_You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for _  
_But I don't know him anymore _  
_There's nothing where he used to lie _  
_My conversation has run dry _  
_That's what's going on, nothing's fine I'm torn_

Tommy stood in the doorway, immobile. Kwest had not even noticed him open the door, so engrossed in her voice, not that Tommy blamed him. Tommy had asked her how she felt last night and she had been unable to say it out loud. Why? Because she hadn't wanted him to know? And if that was the case, why not?

_I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel _  
_I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor _  
_Illusion never changed into something real _  
_I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn _  
_You're a little late, I'm already torn _

_So I guess the fortune teller's right _  
_Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light _  
_To crawl beneath my veins and now _  
_I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much _  
_There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn _

_I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel _  
_I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor _  
_Illusion never changed into something real _  
_I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn _  
_You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn. _

_There's nothing where he used to lie _  
_My inspiration has run dry _  
_That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn _

_I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel _  
_I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor _  
_Illusion never changed into something real _  
_I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn _  
_I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel _  
_I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor _  
_You're a little late, I'm already torn. _

Kwest pushed down the intercom button, and leaned his head down to speak, "Jude that was great. Take a break." He jumped in his seat when Tommy spoke up quietly from behind him.

Jude opened her eyes as the music faded in her headphones. She took them off and placed them on the stool beside her, before looking up and seeing the two men.

"The music needs work--Maybe a different key for the bridge." Kwest jumped a little in his seat, then spun around quickly and stared at his friend.

"Did you hear the whole thing?"

Tommy nodded and moved to take his customary spot in front of the soundboard. Now he knew where she had disappeared to so early this morning. When he had gotten up out of his once again restless sleep, he had felt the long emptiness of the apartment. For a split second he had thought she had moved out right then, but the presence of her jacket on the arm of the couch had reassured him enough.

"Tom she just wanted to get it out of her system." Kwest eyed his friend dubiously for any signs he was about to have one of his infamous meltdowns.

"You and I both know it's too good for that man."

Kwest could not deny that, but this quiet focused Tommy was making him even more apprehensive. He didn't trust this calm, rational side of the man, not after hearing something that told him he had basically ripped his lover apart at least.

"No," her voice interrupted their quiet conversation as she entered the room. She looked between them slightly panicked, her head shaking. "I'm not releasing that," she said vehemently.

Tommy's icy blue eyes met hers, and she took a mental step back at the blankness staring back at her. "Yeah you are," he said firmly before his hands went to the controls.

"Tommy…"

He interrupted as if she hadn't spoken, "We'll bring in the house band to do the instrumental, at least until you find something more permanent."

"Tommy--I…" She wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but she had to try and…

This time when his eyes found hers, just the slightest hint of what he felt leaked through and it was enough to silence her.

"Why don't you go take that break," he suggested not unkindly and she nodded reluctantly not knowing what else to do. She left the room quickly, heading for Hospitality, needing to sit down.

"You eating in here now?"

Kwest's gaze fell onto the orange, sitting on the soundboard and then to the tightly clenched fists resting there. "It's Jude's. She said something about liking the smell…Are you alright man?"  
Instead of answering him Tommy asked, "Is she?" He couldn't think about the words, they threatened to tear him up. _How apropos_, he thought; Torn.

Kwest bobbed his head twice. "Yeah she seems fine." But what about you? He wanted to reiterate, but dared not, sensing the gathering tension in Tommy's broad shoulders.  
"Good," was the only other thing Tommy said before he started to replay what they had laid down.

It was everything Darius had wanted and expected, but neither of the creators of this next hit single felt satisfaction at its timely release. They simply sat their quietly in his office as he listened to the track play all the way through, his head nodding to the beat. He swiveled his chair back around to face them fully, a grin growing on his face. "Heh, if this doesn't get their attention I don't know what will. Good job you two."

Jude nodded quietly. "Thanks D."

Tommy did the same, just as lackadaisically, as if he couldn't care less. "Yeah thanks D."

Darius narrowed his eyes, taking the somber countenance of the both of them, not liking their lack of enthusiasm. "You two still have an album to complete," he reminded them.

They both got up and left without bothering to protest, making him shake his head. He did not want to involve himself in their personal lives, and just hoped it didn't get so bad he would have to step in. They were gold together, no--Platinum. He could feel it in his bones.

She could feel it now that he had backed away, given her the space and she had thought that's what she wanted. It made her feel uneasy though, made her want to talk to him until he listened, about anything at all, even if he had been even more uncommunicative ever since Torn had been finished. She sat on the couch, her arms wrapped around her knees, feeling lost, more than before. It was getting late, but she didn't want to go back into the guest bedroom, didn't want another night of restless sleep so she sat thinking about the future that right then was unfathomable. Two more days and she would be out of here, even now already feeling a pang of loss at leaving this place she had lived such a short time. But she knew why she felt this way, at least about this. He had made her feel safe. Now that was a scary admission.

He found her there, curled in a ball, her breathing steady and quiet. Tommy leaned down, his fingers brushing her bangs off her cheek so he could see her face, relaxed in sleep. He slipped down beside her and pulled her unresisting form into his side, missing the way her body curled into his.

The movement made her eyes flutter open and she stared hazily into his face.

"Hey…" his voice was soft, warmer than it had been before.

She knew she should, but she couldn't bear to move away and place that careful distance between them again. "I thought…" Confusion was written in her eyes at the way he was holding her in his arms. She had thought he was angry, had decided to finally write her off.

"What?"

Jude shook her head, and let it fall against his shoulder, letting his warm body bring her the comfort she'd been craving and pushing away.

"Jude I want you to know why I didn't tell you about Darius ordering me to sign you." He felt the tensing of her small body, but she forced herself to relax as she realized it needed to be done. She nodded her head against his chest. "It wasn't because I wanted the record deal." He told her how his attempt at going solo had been quashed by Darius all those years ago.

"I wasn't ready to tell you about my singing--not because you shouldn't know--"

Jude let him continue, starting to understand maybe a little of his motivations. She remembered the way she had felt after the rejection from Instant Star. He had created numerous songs, had placed hope and his confidence into them and had been shutdown just as brutally.

"I didn't know if I could do it again--But when he threatened to make sure it never happened…I don't know. I couldn't just let the idea go." He bent his head down in an unnatural angle to catch her eyes. "What you think mattered to me."

It was a blow to Jude, to finally know how he really felt about his own abilities. She had always thought him so strong and sure of himself, and hearing this vulnerable side to him made her fall harder, feel even deeper.

"I wanted to work with you too Jude. I think I needed to. That's why I wanted you at G-Major--Not because of my contract." He wanted so badly for her to trust him, that it twisted his stomach into hard knots as he waited for her reaction.

"I believe you," she tried to reassure.

He let out a breath he did not know he had been holding. "Will you come to bed?"

She eyed him, unsure if that was the best idea; sex had muddled things before.

"Just to sleep." He understood her hesitation right away and even though he would never turn her down, it was not what they needed from one another right then.

"Okay…"

He got up first and surprised a startled laugh out of her when he placed an arm under her knees and the other against her back, lifting her up.

"I can walk you know?"

"Hey take advantage while you can, pretty soon you'll be too heavy for me to lift."

Jude smacked his shoulder and finally she got a genuine smile from him. She was so tired of guarding her feelings and actions, so she let herself put her arms around his neck as he walked them both the short distance to his bedroom.

"Are you still going to leave?" he asked once they were settled against one another in their familiar way.

"Tommy…I think right now it's for the best."

He nodded against her blond hair. "I get it."

"I still think we need to take things slower, and…I know I wasn't giving us a chance--not really." She tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "But I mean it this time." She put her head back down against his chest and closed her eyes contentedly when his fingers started to stroke the golden strands.

Moving day was here and Stuart finally got to meet the man who had knocked up his baby girl. Jude's father was courteous but cool and Tommy hadn't expected more, and if it had been him in the other man's shoes he didn't think he could have been that calm. Stuart had just taken the last of her things and Tommy knew he should have offered to help, but he hadn't been able to make himself do it and hasten her retreat.

"So…" Jude bit her lip as she stared up at him. "I'll see you on Monday." She made to brush past him, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back around gently, to face him.

"Do you really want to leave?"


	27. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four**

Her answer was the hesitancy in her eyes. If she was sure then he would have let her go, at least that's what he told himself.

"Stay." He held his breath as he searched those sapphire orbs, trying to guess what was going through her mind. There was so much he felt, but wasn't quite ready to define, wasn't ready to say yet. All he knew was he didn't want her to leave, couldn't imagine her ever not being here with him. He realized rather abruptly that he would never get tired of her presence, actually missed her when she wasn't around. He thought about her, maybe not all the time, but she was always in the back of his mind. Always.

"For how long?" she asked softly, uncertain what she wanted him to say, of what she wanted to hear, even as the unsteady thrum of her racing heart leant a false note to that uncertainty.

He wasn't quite sure how or why, but he felt her surrender in that simple question. "For good."

There was so much built up in his response, that Jude thought she actually felt her heart stop for a split second.

"Even without the baby you would have wound up here anyway Jude," he implored gently.

And then he made her pulse quicken. The words carried an air of conviction that startled her. In that instant it was as if her past was erased, irrelevant to this moment, irrelevant to them. Because if she had been the woman she was before, she would have given him a second chance without a doubt. "You really believe that?"

He felt the shift in her demeanor and his fingers went out to link with her willing ones, the touch strengthening their connection. "Yes," he said with a certainty that went straight to her heart.

She was stunned mute, seeing the intensity he allowed to leak from his eyes. "Don't make me miss you."

Her face brightened and a coy curve was on her lips. "You would?"

"Jude I'm double parked. We need to get going." Her father called from the hallway, interrupting his reply.

Her eyes met his again and this time the gaze held even as she shouted to her father, "Dad I need my suitcase!" And then she matched his slow grin with one of her own.

He yanked her into him abruptly, so that their bodies were flush against one another and Jude was forced to look up to see his face. He bent down and rested his forehead against hers and his arms wound around her waist, her arms reaching up around his neck.

Stuart sighed and lugged the heavy bag back into the apartment, knowing his younger daughter was not the most organized and figured she had probably forgotten something. He had barely turned the corner before he spoke. "Jude did you need something from your suitcase?" Neither of them acknowledged they had heard him.

It was not an immediate adjustment, a change of views that he could simply make. He had automatically pegged Tom Quincy as a seducer of women who took advantage of his vulnerable, and at least to his mind mostly still innocent younger married daughter, and had gotten her pregnant to boot. It was not a rash assumption with the little information Jude had been willing to provide and when she had called last week, asking if she could stay with him, hesitancy in her tone, he had heard the brittle quality of her voice. The tabloids had labeled Tom Quincy as a heartbreaker and he had already dragged Jude into that paparazzi drama that surrounded his life. It had hardly surprised him when it turned out not everything was going smoothly between them.

Stuart lowered the suitcase to the floor and stared, having to reassess what he knew and what he had assumed. Jude stood between Tommy's legs, held in his arms, her eyes closed and a gentle smile curving her lips. There was something more between them, than Stuart had been willing to acknowledge, but now it seemed undeniable. It was not a mere hug they shared, the more appropriate word was an embrace, with all the intimacy that it implied.

She opened her eyes and pulled back to gaze into his face. Her fingertips went up to trace his jaw and he turned his head into the palm, brushing his lips across the soft skin. The smile he gave her was not a practiced one, but unsure and utterly genuine in the way it grew. It was not exactly a look a father wanted to see another man give his daughter. It was all-encompassing, possessive, protective and something else Stuart refused to name, for his own sanity, even though deep down he recognized it very well. And Jude, when she had been with Jamie, Stuart had never seen her let him hold her like this, as if trusting, believing, even wanting the protection of his arms.

Stuart knew without a doubt that this was no goodbye scene, but something else entirely. He ripped his gaze away from them and put his fist to his mouth faking a cough.

Jude attempted to pull back, startled at the sudden noise, but Tommy refused to relinquish his hold on her, so instead she simply turned in the circle of his arms, back leaning into him as she looked uncertainly at her father. No matter the things that had gone on between them before, he was her parent and his opinion mattered.

Stuart saw that his stubborn daughter had made up her mind, the battle lost before it had even begun, but he still had to try, needing to look after her welfare and his grandchild's. It was still hard to tell that she was pregnant, the only possible hint was in the glow of her fair skin, but he suspected like her mother, she would swell practically overnight.

"Dad.." Jude started slowly, "I changed my mind. I think I'm gonna stay awhile."

At her words Tommy tightened, his already snug hold on her middle.

If Jude had not looked so content, even comfortable in the other man's arms, Stuart would have protested the arrogant way Tommy kept her against him, but he did not, sensing the futility of the attempt. "Are you sure about this Honeybee?" He used the old nickname, deliberately trying to wake her from her seeming dream. "You don't have to stay for the baby if that's why…" he trailed off, knowing he had lost. There was no ounce of doubt in her big blue eyes, just clear purpose.

Jude finally took Tommy's arms with her hands and gently disentangled herself from his grip. She rushed into Stuart's arms and hugged him tightly. "Daddy this is what I want," she whispered against his ear.

"But he-"

"He's a good man Dad. I think this is where I'm supposed to be."

This impulsive daughter of his had always made choices with her heart, her gut, listening strongly to her instincts. Had Tommy learned that too and was now taking advantage of her nature with his words? He was afraid this time it would lead her down the wrong path if it hadn't already. But she was also stubborn and would not change her mind. He knew that much about his Jude. "But how well do you really know him Honey?"

She pulled back, her face more solemn than he ever recalled seeing before. "I know what I need to," she said softly, sincerely, her eyes glittering as they stared into his.

Stuart finally nodded reluctantly and lifted his head to stare past her at Tommy who had stood there patiently watching them.

Tommy did not give away any sign of discomfort at being dissected by Jude's father glance, his mask of nonchalance falling over his face seamlessly.

"We're talking," Stuart said it in that way that brought back a flash of déjà vu from Jude's childhood when she or Sadie or both got in trouble, not that Sadie got in trouble much, usually only getting a stern tone from their dad for bickering with Jude.

"Dad why don't we-"

"Not you. Him."

Jude followed her father's gaze whipping around to catch Tommy's reaction, apology in her eyes, but he looked unfazed and simply gave her a small smile.

She wasn't leaving and that was all that was important to him. "It's okay," he soothed and Jude nodded once.

"I'll be in the bedroom," she said to both of them, placing a hand lightly on Stuart's arm. "Be nice," she said only half-jokingly before heading into the other room.

Jude left the door partially open, but was unable to hear anything but the murmur of their lowered voices. She tugged at her lower lip with her teeth, waiting impatiently, the curiosity practically killing her. Five minutes later Tommy came into the room and Jude looked up from his desk chair anxiously. She had been jotting random lyrics onto a loose piece of paper, but immediately dropped the pen and stood when she saw him.

"Come back to the living room,"

"What happened?"

"We're being summoned to dinner. But first I need to get your stuff out of the car." Stuart wasn't volunteering to shuffle everything back up again and Tommy was more than willing to do it to get away from that penetrating look from the man that made him feel slightly guilty. Tommy was a grown man-And he had no one to answer to, but Stuart was her father and she cared about his opinion so therefore, unfortunately so did Tommy.

"What did my dad say?"

He shot her an enigmatic smile that had her ready to grit her teeth. "He loves you."

"And?" She put her hand on his arm, trying to get him to turn back to her. "Tommy." She heard the slight whine in her voice and winced.

Tommy shook his head and took her hand in his. "Your dad's waiting and we still have to bring your stuff back in." He leaned down and kissed her temple before leading her back into the living room, leaving her to the mercy of her father.

Tommy sighed in relief when they finally reentered the apartment for the last time that night, almost two hours later. Jude laughed in amusement at him and he shook his head at her. "You know I've never had to do that." He shut the door behind them and pulled her onto the couch with him, practically on his lap.

"What?"

"Have dinner with the parents." Stuart had asked him plenty of questions, from his financial net worth, to his past relationships and he had been as forthcoming as he could given his private nature. Jude had been smart enough to divert the conversation to classic rock, her father's first love, and that at least had not been a minefield.

"Really? There was no one you…"

He shook his head and stared into her eyes, unable to resist the urge to brush a kiss across her lips before continuing. "I've never really been into relationships. It wasn't my thing." He knew that was an understatement, but it was, at least to his mind, the past, not something she was a part of. To her, those old rules no longer applied and somehow he would make sure she knew it.

"Never?" she asked in slight surprise, having expecting him to have been seriously involved at least a few times, given that he was so much older than she. "What about Portia?"

He sighed and had to make a conscience effort not to close himself off to her inquiry. It was hard for him to bring up old history, but the fear of losing her still fresh in his mind, spurred him on, even though normally he would have brushed off the question. "Portia was different from the girls I knew back then-she was more-Sophisticated and I thought she got me. But we should never have gotten married-And we were fighting almost from the beginning, even though it only lasted a few months." He would tell her later about the only other woman he had been with that could have qualified as a relationship, even with the shadow of his marriage hanging over him back then. He didn't think now was a good time though and he wasn't exactly eager to tell her about his old sins, although at least he recognized she deserved to know.

She seemed to accept what he had given her and her hand touched his lightly.

He leaned down to brush his lips across her cheek, liking the smile it brought to her face, and he trailed his mouth down to her neck, tasting the velvety skin with his tongue.

Jude made a small contented sigh as his arms encircled her waist, one hand cupping her ass to hold her against him. She closed her eyes in pleasure, liking how he touched her. The sound of her cell phone, broke them reluctantly from their trance and Tommy growled against her neck, letting his teeth graze against her before loosening his grip so that she could reach for her phone on the end table.

Jude checked the caller ID and flipped her phone open, pressing it to her ear as Tommy nibbled on the other side of her neck. "Hey Sadie. What's up?"

"Just checking to see how you were settling in sis. You okay?"

"Uh…" Jude closed her eyes to try and steady herself at the onslaught of sensation he was creating through her body. His hands had moved under her shirt and were caressing the bare skin of her back, while he started to nibble on the sensitive skin of her neck. "I uh…I'm not at Dad's Sades," she said breathily, getting a grin out of him.

"What? Where are you? And are you alright? You sound really weird."

Jude attempted to block his mouth from her heated flesh, but he kissed her palm instead, not daunted in the least and then proceeded to take her finger into his mouth. Jude let out a small whimper as he started to suck on the callused tip. "I…I'm fine…I'm still with Tommy."

"What? Jude are you crazy?"

Jude was barely listening to the now screechy voice of her sister. "I'm fine. I'll call you later 'k?"

"What? No Jude! You need to-"

Jude flipped the phone shut and turned to face Tommy, her mouth finding his unerringly, like a heat seeking missile. The phone tumbled onto the couch and then landed on the floor as her arms. wrapped around his neck. Jude lay half sprawled against him, his fingers sliding down below the waistband of her jeans to touch the small of her back, making her shiver. She untangled her arms from around him and moved her hands to the front of his shirt, trying to unbutton it, even as his tongue dipped into her parted mouth. She somehow managed to get the buttons undone with much fumbling, before impatiently tugging it off his shoulders. His arms reached behind him so she could get it the rest of the way off. Instead of helping him remove it completely she pulled backwards, twisting the loose ends, his arms now effectively trapped behind him.

"Jude," he groaned, even as she grinned a little wickedly.

Her fingers traced the muscles of his chest, before pinching his male nipple. She lowered her head flicked her tongue across the rough surface, making him squirm. She didn't know she would like this, this sense of control. The more he struggled to get free, the wider her smile grew. She bit down lightly, getting a sharp intake of breath for her trouble. She raised coy eyes to meet his darkened ones. "Do you like that?" she asked as she licked her full lips.

Tommy closed his eyes and nodded, as her hand found the hard bulge that strained his pants. She squeezed him through the material and his eyes shot open to meet her bright ones. She lowered her head once more and took the other nipple into her mouth, teasing with teeth and tongue, while her hand stroked him. He was thankful when she finally went to the waistband of his pants and undid them, releasing him from confinement. She pulled the hard length of him out his boxers and then suddenly backed away.

Tommy felt a moment of unrealistic panic at the loss of her body, but relaxed slightly when she began to pull her shirt over her own head. She flung it away haphazardly and made quick work of her pink satin bra. Her nipples had already tightened and his mouth watered to taste them, but he was having a hard time moving, with his arms still trapped behind his back. He watched her slip her shoes off and then shimmy out of her tight jeans. Next her matching panties, pink satin trimmed with lace, slid to the floor. He could only watch as she stepped towards him, a little sway in her step.

Jude knelt over him, knees on either side of his pant clad thighs. Her hands rested on his shoulders, bare breasts enticingly close to his mouth. She cried out when her aching flesh into his mouth, raking his teeth across the nub. She thought she could have come from that alone, but her lower body ached for more. Her hand moved down between their bodies, wrapping around his hardness, stroking up and down in the way she knew he liked. And then when they were both almost insane with wanting, she poised his arousal at juncture of her thighs and sank down using her weight to push him deep within her. She leaned into him, breasts rubbing provocatively against his hard chest.

"You feel so fucking good," he rasped against her ear as her hips began to roll against him. His swearing did not shock her, she having learned early on that he only did so under extreme emotion.

"So do you." She pulled her head back and brushed his lips with her own, his mouth parted to take her lower lip between his teeth, nipping gently. Her easy pace was driving him slowly mad, as she raised her hips and lowered them against him, driving him deeper on every motion. His mouth moved to her throat, and she arched her back and tilted her head back to give him better access even as it changed the angle the slightest degree where their bodies joined.

His arms worked restlessly behind him and he finally managed to get free of his constraints. His hands went around her still tiny waist, bracing her as he thrust up into her damp heat, finding a fast, hard pace that had her gasping. He held her securely even as she leaned backwards, his forearms barely straining with her slight weight as he arched up into wet depths eliciting a cry out of her. From the slight tightening of her inner muscles he could tell she was close to the edge and he pulled her up, his lips finding hers again.

One of her hands threaded through his hair tugging against his scalp as the other arm slung over his shoulder fingers digging into his back. Her nails raked up his spine even as her lower muscles convulsed around him, holding him deep inside of her. He pulled back and pushed in again, fighting through her tightened muscles, speeding his pace until finally spilling inside her warmth. He groaned against her shoulder, holding her tightly to him even as the felt the last echoes race pleasurably through his lower body.

An interminable time later they finally disentangled themselves and she got off his cramped thighs. She smiled lazily at him and he answered with his own slumberous eyes.

Tommy stood up on shaky legs, trying to get the circulation back into his stiffened limbs. "Damnit Jude I can't feel my arms," he complained, rotating his sore shoulders even as she giggled. She didn't imagine Tom Quincy had surrendered control often enough to be tied up, no matter his experience in the bedroom. The thought hit her sluggish mind like a lightning bolt. He trusted her.

"Let's go to bed Big Eyes," he said, taking in the solemnity that now schooled her features.

She nodded briefly and he took her hand, using the other to pull his pants back up, causing her to laugh once again.

Once again satiated for the time being, they both lay on their backs, staring at the shadowed ceiling, their fingertips the only point of contact.

"Why did you marry Jamie?" he asked suddenly into the still room.

"I guess-I didn't want to be alone." Her eyes shone with unshed tears as he she looked over at him, defenselessness marking her smooth face.

"I never let anybody in, because I didn't want to care and have them leave." In his own way he was just as afraid as she had been.

"You and I are quite the pair," she commented her eyes darting back to the ceiling.

"Thank you." Her eyes flashed to him in surprise. "For staying."

Time passed by unnoticed when she spoke again. "Why did you wait so long to say anything?"

He looked strangely vulnerable to her and in this moment she couldn't remember why she had ever thought leaving was the right thing to do.

"Because all that stuff you said, I understood it-But when it came down to it, I couldn't do it. I couldn't let you go."

Kwest gave it a 50/50 chance that Tommy would show up for work on Monday, knowing what he did about Jude's plans. Tommy had never dealt well with his own feelings, and he could not hide how strongly he felt about her. So when Tommy and Jude both called in today, he wasn't the least bit surprised, figuring that his buddy was out there drowning his sorrows. This wasn't the first time he had had to pick Tom off the floor, but he had hoped Jude would make him different.

"You're killing me," he on top of her, her languid body not participating in their lovemaking with any movement of her own, bones melted by all the times he had made her come, loving the echoes of orgasms pulsing through her lower body where his continued to slide insistently.

"Then stop…" she said teasingly before her lips touched his sweaty shoulder.

"I can't," he groaned as if he was in pain, making her giggle, in turn causing her lower muscles to clamp down on his hardness.

He shifted her hips up with his hands and changed the angle of his stroke, hitting a different cluster of nerves deep within her body with his arousal, causing little whimpers to escape her parted lips.

"Don't stop," she finally whispered, afraid to move now and spoil the perfect way he moved inside of her. He quickened his pace, moving with her and against her, until she didn't know where her body ended and his began. "I love you Jude," he said, muffled by her curtain of hair.

His body exploded, barely a moment after her own inner muscles began to ripple, the joint cries ripping through the bedroom. He pressed a kiss onto her temple after rolling off of her and pulling her into his side. The way she let herself be shifted made him want to laugh.

The way she stretched against him like Silly Putty reflected her inner quivering turmoil well. Had he really meant it? Or was it just the mind-altering sex? She didn't know, but she couldn't let go of the idea.

.

Jude came out of the bedroom wearing only Tommy's shirt, her mouth completely dry and craving orange juice and lime seltzer. As she shut the refrigerator door the phone rang and she paused in the living room to hear if whoever it was would leave a message. They had had no contact with the outside world the last two days except to order takeout.

"Tom it's me, pick up." Jude heard a heavy frustrated male sigh and took a sip of her drink as he continued. "Hey man I know she left, but you gotta snap out of it. She didn't break up with you. And you'll see her at work. Come on Tom."

Curiosity won out and her hand went to the cordless phone. "Hey Kwest," she tried hard not to laugh, and succeeded, but could not keep the smile off her face.

"Jude?" Then he said her name again louder. "Jude. What are you-"

"I decided not to leave," she shrugged even though he obviously couldn't see her.

"Is Tom still alive?"

"What?" Had she heard him wrong? It was true she had been in somewhat of a sex-daze the last few days, but her hallucinations were usually related to the next activity on the menu and were not auditory ones.

"You didn't off him for his apartment-I mean I've been tempted once or twice. It's a sweet pad."

Tommy found her in the living room staring at the phone like it had two heads. He arched an eyebrow and stared at the cute confounded expression on her face. She opened her mouth as if ready to speak, but only a gasp of air came out. "You're best friend is really weird," she finally managed to say.

Tommy let out a burst of laughter and gave her an amused look. "I take it that was him on the phone. What did Kwest want?"

"Uh well hmm… He was worried about you." She walked to the table where the answering machine rested and pushed the button for the message play back. After his voice stopped, Jude continued. "So I picked up the phone to tell him not to worry. But then when he found out it was me on the line he started asking me weird questions. Like did I bump you off? And that it was almost worth it for your apartment…"

Jude was bemused as she watched him bend over laughing.

"Yeah that's the thing about Kwest, when he gets embarrassed he tends to spew at the mouth."

They stood in the small kitchen of Sadie's apartment sipping at tea, Sadie having finally cornered her sister into seeing her.

"So what did he say? How did he manage to convince you to stay?" Sadie asked excitedly, her own love life having been a bit lackluster recently.

"He told me not to make him miss me."

"Oh…" Sadie breathed. It sounded like the image of him she had once held in her adolescent dreams, of that boy-band prince who would sweep her off her feet.  
"It was so totally cheesy," Jude said even as her mouth curved into an irrepressible grin. But she had seen something else in his gaze too, a vulnerability that had her believing him without fear or doubt of her own.

"Jude!" Sadie admonished, but Jude only laughed.

"Okay, okay it was really sweet too. He really meant it Sadie."

"How did Dad take it?" Jude leaned back on Sadie's kitchen counter and rolled her eyes. "They had a little talk when I told him I wasn't leaving. But Tommy won't tell me anything."

"Hmm….So you're really sure about this? No more needing space?"

"I didn't mean it," Jude said in a small voice, her eyes downcast. She had really meant to do it, really intended on leaving like she had said-but when it came down to it, there wasn't anywhere else she would rather be, even if he caused her more pain. She had never been one to give up and somehow she knew leaving would be accepting defeat. She couldn't do that to him somehow knowing the rejection would hurt him too.

Sadie reached her hand out and touched Jude's arm. "Hey everything's working out right?"

Jude looked up again and smiled the kind of smile that made Sadie almost envious of her sister. There was no doubt about it; Jude was totally in love with him.


	28. Chapter 25

_Sorry for the long wait all of you who are still reading. Music is First Cut is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow and Push by Matchbox Twenty. ENJOY!_

**Chapter 25**

"Tom my man. How's it going?"

Tommy winced at the fake enthusiasm as much as the clap on the back. He glanced over at the man who had joined him, not slowing his pace towards Studio Two. "What's up D?"

"Your girl's not doing too bad on the charts T." They both knew that was a major understatement. "We got her on Under the Mic." Darius's smile was wide, expecting the same kind of excitement from the younger man.

Tommy stopped suddenly and Darius took a step before turning back to him. "D you've already got her spread too thin. Did you forget we have an album to make? If you keep scheduling her for events, we're never going to have time to finish it." There had been a photo shoot a few days ago, courtesy of Portia's contacts, and that radio interview yesterday. Sure it was great that people were already interested in Jude, but she was dedicated to making music, just like he was; that and she was a little more easily tired right now, not that she did not try to hide it and not that he did not notice anyway.

The sarcasm wasn't lost on Darius and he tightened his mouth into a thin line. "T you create it. But I make sure it sells. Canada is going to remember her name and Jude's single is number three right now. You know how incredible that is for an unknown artist? Don't forget I was the one who made Boyz Attack multi-platinum. She needs to stay on the radar." Darius was more than a little angry now; Tommy had learned how to push his buttons better than most, including marrying his little sister. But Portia had moved on to a better, dependable man and although Darius had not forgotten, he accepted it for the ancient history that it was.

"I'm not going to let you throw her into the deep end D. She's new to the business and she's gonna burn out if you don't step back." Although he had kept his tone deliberately non-confrontational, he could not hide the clenching of his jaw and the flash of his icy blue eyes. He held himself responsible for her place at G-Major and he would never let her feel exploited as he had once been.

"What," Darius scoffed, "are you trying to protect her?"

The disbelief in Darius's voice had Tommy's infamous temper rising. He narrowed his eyes to glare at his former brother-in-law. "Is that really so surprising?"

Only with a flicker of his eye, did Darius betray his true surprise. "Yeah it is," he stated bluntly.

What was harder than hearing the lack of faith in him was the fact that he deserved the doubt. Maybe it was hard for Tommy to face someone who had known his every indiscretion in the past, and who also knew where his loyalties had always lain. When it had come down to it, Tommy Quincy had always looked out for number one; the way he had walked away from Boyz Attack without regret was proof of that. And now he wasn't sure what to say. Maybe it was surprising to an outside observer , that he was looking out for someone else for a change. But none of them had ever known him, not who he really was. Only Jude had been allowed to look deeper.

Darius sighed and looked at his former artist, steadily. It was the powder keg that did not go off, that convinced him to go easy on Tommy and possibly he did have a point. The public would be surprised to know how many signed artists never managed to complete an album. "Look I'll see what I can do about easing back on her publicity events."

Tommy simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"She'll do Under the Mic though T. The world wants to hear her live." Darius could see he was about to protest and put his hand up to stop him. "She'll like doing this. You know that Tom. Torn deserves to be heard."

That answered one question at least. Darius had already chosen the song he wanted her to sing. At least they wouldn't have to create something from scratch on such a tight deadline. Tommy inclined his head, knowing that this was the best he was going to get, for the moment at least. "I'll tell her."

Tommy looked up from the controls, finally finding a good spot to pause at his mixing and realized Jude was still not back. She had gone to his office to retrieve the lyrics she had scribbled yesterday, awhile ago, but somewhere along the way she had obviously been waylaid. He stood up and stretched, hearing the satisfying crack of his back before heading off in search of his girl.

Tommy closed his office door behind him and stared down at the slumbering form on his couch, unable to suppress a soft smile at her peaceful innocent face, usually so animated when she was conscious. Warmth suffused his chest as he stared down at her. He crouched beside her and swept a loose tendril of curls off her cheek, winding it around his finger, then letting the tip tickle her soft cheek.

As her eyes began to flicker open, he whispered against her ear, "I love you."

Her reaction was not exactly what he expected, when her eyes flew wide open at his words and she stared up into his, disorientation clouding their sapphire depths. "You love me?" she asked as if not quite believing she had heard right. She sat up a little, resting her weight on her elbows as she studied his eyes for an answer.

Terror started to invade his chest when her eyes began to fill with liquid. "Jude…What's wrong baby. I said it to you before," he asked in utter bafflement as the tears broke from their confinement to slide down her cheeks.

"I-You-Before-It was during amazing sex! I didn't know if…" she said a little frantically, the emotions attempting to drown her. Logically they both knew her hormones were responsible for this new outburst, but it did not lessen the impact of the moment.

Her tears renewed and he rolled his eyes heavenward, praying for patience, for guidance from weeping women which he had never been good with. And when she cried, which had happened more often than he liked, it made him feel helpless, powerless to protect her. She made him weak and he had just started to learn: better. "I need you. I know you know that," he said softly, his hands cupping either side of her head, fingers tangling into her hair, looking deep into her stormy orbs.

She nodded and sniffed indelicately, causing him to grin as their eyes lingered on one another.

In the next moment, they were interrupted by Darius who had slipped into Tommy's office unnoticed. Tommy dropped his arms, but stayed beside her on the couch.

Jude could only look on unable to speak, her emotional jag still not completely done. Darius was a dark blur behind the watery sheen across her eyes, but she could not stop. She sat up, trying to bring the room back into focus, and will away the flood.

"Tom! What the hell? You made her cry?"

For once in his life Tommy had no comeback; he was too overcome by her tears, even knowing she was just reacting, to care about Darius. He barely glanced up, his attention riveted on her face.

"Baby…" He knelt in front of her and took her hands. "Please stop crying," he practically whined, "you know I can't take it when you cry." Jude tried to slow her sobs, a sudden hiccup catching her unawares.

Suddenly it was Darius crouched beside Tommy, trying to bump him out of the way. "Jude are you okay? He didn't hurt you did he?" His deep baritone stunned her tears into submission as she stared at her boss in horror. His concern was disconcerting since she really didn't know the big man all that well.

"D…I-I'm fine, really." She tried to wipe the evidence of tears from her face causing her mascara to smear even more. She gave him a wobbly unconvincing smile that he returned with a suspicious look of his own. Her arms reached out to Tommy and he pulled her to him, hiding her face in his shoulders.

"She's a little emotional," Tommy explained weakly and Jude couldn't help it, she started to giggle into his neck.

Darius stood up and wiped the imaginary dust off his black slacks.

"Care to tell me what's going on?" Darius did not suffer B.S. from others easily and his business acumen had been honed to understand when something was being kept from him.

Tommy quickly grabbed a napkin from his desk, left over from some lunch, which they sometimes took in his office and handed it to Jude who quickly blotted away the evidence of her distress. "She's just tired D. It's been a long day."

"Uh huh…" the skepticism in his voice was intentional as he eyed the two of them. Sensing the futility of asking further questions, and never one to waste time he let the subject go for now. "I just wanted to make sure you were all set for the show."

"Yeah." Jude's emotions had leveled off again and she was able to look directly at Darius.

"Portia will prep you on how the standard interview goes." Getting nothing further to work with from either of the pair gave them both one more solemn look before turning to go.

When he left, Tommy turned back to Jude, brushing away the dried salt clinging underneath her eyes. "You're gonna give me a complex you know? If you cry every time I say something important," he said more lightly, than he felt. It had never been easy for him to admit his feelings, and love, to him, had always come with conditions he had never felt competent to fulfill. But somehow this woman he had barely known more than a handful of months got him, more than anyone else ever had.

Jude smiled a little shyly, letting her clumped lashes raise to his eyes. "I'm sorry," she said equally airily, making the apology not quite sincere. "Say it again," she cajoled.

He shook his head in mock resignation, as her hand slip to his jean clad knee. "Forget it. I can't seem to choose the right time-You wouldn't believe me anyway." He made to stand, but her fingers had wandered a bit higher and pressed down to keep him in place.

"Tommy…" she drew out his name, answering the glint of amusement in his eyes with her own. Her other hand moved to his chest, rubbing lightly with her palm.

"Fine. You win." His hands covered hers and he looked deep into her azure depths. "I love you." And even though the three words themselves weren't all that impressive, they way he said them left no doubt.

Her heart did the strangest little flip flop and she was finding it hard to breathe. "Good, because I love you too." The words felt utterly right as they escaped her lips, and she wondered briefly how long they had wanted to come out. It seemed like she had been falling for him forever, even as it had seemed like she had always known him.

His lips clung to hers as their arms wrapped around each other. His fingers tangled in her wavy hair, pressing her firmly to him.

"We're going to have to tell people soon," he said to her when they pulled apart.

Jude nodded and sighed, not wanting to think hard about how others would judge her when they found out. Not that she was ashamed to be having his baby; she was happy about it once she had accepted the impossibility of the situation. "Can we just keep it to ourselves for a little while?" The idea was still so new and now that she knew he loved her, kind of exciting, even though she had never planned on being a mom at twenty. "It's just, we're at a good place right now. I mean-aren't we?" She raised her eyes to meet his and he nodded.

"I know baby. I like it being just us knowing too." He rested his forehead against hers and breathed in her closeness. "We can't hide it forever though."

"I don't want to Tommy. Just for a now."

Tommy circled her face with his palms and met her upturned lips with his own. He always wanted to touch her, and for once he accepted that she wanted him just as much.

"So Jude Harrison everybody," Adam Lakewood, a typical California surfer type with a million dollar smile and tight abs, introduced her to the audience to applause. "Jude we've hear some good things about your music. How does it feel to hit the charts on your first try."

"Great." She gave the audience a genuine smile before continuing. "I never expected people to like my song so much. Actually it wasn't even something I planned on recording," she admitted.  
"Really? Wow. I heard you write your own music. Is most of it taken from your own life?"

"Yeah. Definitely. I find inspiration from everything around me."

"I have to ask Jude, is there anyone in the crowd today that inspired you?" he asked it teasingly, leaving no doubt as to whom he was hinting at. The rumors still ran rampant about her and Tommy, even though there had yet to be concrete confirmation of a romantic relationship between the two of them.

Jude flushed under her light makeup, but managed to give him a smile anyway. "Well actually there is…"

"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow in obvious interest now.

"He's always supported my music and I don't know where I'd be without him." She paused as the audience listened in rapt attention. "My dad, Stuart Harrison."

"Oh." Adam was only thrown off for a second. "So daddy's little girl huh?"

"Of course. And there's my producer Tom Quincy too. He's taught me a lot."

Tommy couldn't tell from his distance backstage, but he could swear there was a devilish glint in her eye when she said the double entendre. He tried to hide the grin from the man beside him, but watching her work her magic on stage made that difficult.

Adam cleared his throat, still a little off stride, even as he wondered what she meant with the seemingly innocuous words. "Are you ready for your song Jude?"

Jude nodded and thanked the techie who handed her, her acoustic guitar.

"Here it is guys; Jude Harrison's highly anticipated live debut of her hit single, Torn."

"Actually Adam, there's something new I've been working on that I want to play for everyone." Jude turned her head to the side for only the briefest moment, and caught Tommy's eyes.

"Well you heard it here first," he commented before leaving the stage.

She settled herself on a stool in the performance area and adjusted the microphone before starting the slow, haunting melody.

_I would have given you all of my heart_  
_But there's someone who's torn it apart_  
_And he's taken just all that I had_  
_But if you want to, try to love again_  
_Baby I'll try to love again, but I know_  
_The first cut is the deepest_  
_Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest_  
_But when it comes to being lucky, he's cursed_  
_When it comes to lovin' me he's worst_

Tommy knew this song was meant for him and not being sung about him like Torn had been. She had this amazing capacity to give, that he had never encountered before and it almost overwhelmed him.

"I knew I hurt her back then-I just didn't know it was that much." The regret in his voice had Tommy turning to the older man. Stuart had seen the gaze she directed their way and jumped to his own conclusions, too mired by his own longtime guilt to understand the truth.

He knew it was not his secret to share, but Stuart didn't deserve that kind of guilt either. "The song's not about you Stuart-Not really."

Stuart's eyes were now focused on him. "What did Jamie do to her?" The whole situation had never quite jibed for him, the way Jude had so easily fallen into Tommy's arms, without seeming to look back. His daughter was loyal and honest and he had not believed those inherent qualities could suddenly alter so easily even if there had been an instant connection between Jude and Tommy.

_I still want you by my side_  
_Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried_  
_And I'm sure gonna give you a try_  
_If you wanna try to love again, try_  
_Baby I'll try to love again, but I know, oh_  
_The first cut is the deepest_  
_Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest_  
_But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed_  
_When it comes to lovin' me he's worst_

Tommy shook his head, still caught in the spell she was weaving with her voice. She was singing to him, even if he was one of the only ones who knew it. She was letting him know, she was trusting him once again, even if this time he didn't need to hear it. But more importantly he was telling him she would have chosen him anyway. "It's Jude's story." And as Stuart started to protest Tommy raised his hand. "But I think you can guess…"

_I still want you by my side_  
_Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried_  
_But I'm sure gonna give you a try_  
_Cuz if you wanna try to love again_  
_Baby I'll try to love again, but I know, oh_  
_The first cut is the deepest_  
_Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest_  
_When it comes to being lucky he's cursed_  
_When it comes to loving me he's worst_

It hung between them in the air as Stuart thought it through. "You didn't take advantage of her, did you." It was not a question, but a statement of fact.

Tommy shook his head even as he met Stuart's eyes again. "I would have," he commented matter-of-factly. He had wanted her beyond reason and beyond conscience and he wouldn't lie about that now.

_The first cut is the deepest_  
_Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest_

_Try to love again_

The commercial break had just started as Jude headed off the stage. She gave her dad a hug first and he grinned down at her.

"You were amazing kiddo." He smiled at her with pride shining in his eyes.

Jude smiled back, not realizing how much she had missed her father's support and approval. He let her go and she turned to Tommy, who looked at her intently. She was in his arms in an instant and his face buried against her hair.

"You didn't have to do that," he whispered into her hair.

"I did," she turned head, tipping it up to whisper against his ear, "I need you too."

Who knew those words would matter to him. He held her even tighter, neither of them noticing when Stuart left them alone to join the audience.

Jude blinked in surprise when Tommy abruptly released her. He flashed her a charming grin that she had to return.

"I gotta go," he said even as he headed towards Adam, who had reappeared after the commercial and was announcing that he had a surprise guest.

Jude had barely gotten a word out before he was gone and she could only look on, bemused, as he joined the host onstage. He had told her that he yet to sign the contract from G-Major and he still wasn't sure he was ready to enter the limelight again. But there he was, answering Adam's questions, looking like he belonged there. He said he still hadn't made up his mind about returning to singing, but he had something he wanted someone special to hear. Jude held her breath as he picked up the guitar she had abandoned and adjusted the microphone to suit his own height.

_She said "I don't know if I've ever been good enough, I'm a little bit rusty_  
_And I think my head is caving in_  
_And I don't know if I've ever been really loved, by a hand that's touched me_  
_And I feel like something's gonna give, and I'm a little bit angry_

Jude could only listen on in stunned amazement, his head turning to catch her gaze, before turning his attention back to the crowd.

_Well this ain't over, no not here_  
_Not while I still need you around_  
_You don't owe me, we might change _  
_Yeah, we might just might feel good_

_I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will_  
_I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will_  
_I wanna take you for granted _  
_Yeah, yeah, I will, I will _

_She said "I don't know why you would ever lie to me_  
_Like I'm a little untrusting, when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya_  
_And I don't know why you couldn't stay with me_  
_You couldn't stand to be near me_  
_When my face don't seem to want to shine, cuz it's a little bit dirty_

She wanted to cry, hearing his interpretation of how things had been going between them. He was answering questions she had never asked out loud. She had claimed they didn't know one another well enough, but…What they felt, their connection, was too strong to simply walk away from. They knew each other on a level that was hard to explain, but completely tangible to Jude now.

_Oh well, don't just stand there, say nice things to me_  
_Cuz I've been cheated, I've been wronged_  
_You, you don't know me, yeah well I can't change_  
_Well I won't do anything at all_

_I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will_  
_I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will_  
_I wanna take you for granted_  
_Yeah I wanna take you for granted_  
_Yeah, yeah, I will, I will_

_Oh, but don't bowl me over_  
_Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so crazy, crazy_  
_Don't rush this baby, don't rush this baby, baby_

_I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will_  
_I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will_  
_I wanna take you for granted_  
_Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wanna take you, take you_  
_Yeah, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, yeah I will_

_I wanna push you around, you down_  
_I wanna push you around, well I will_

A flood of warmth flowed through her bloodstream as he ended the song. He was ready to sing again, even if he didn't truly believe it and she was proud of him.

"All I can say man, is if you don't get back to singing, it will be our loss," Adam said as a last comment when Tommy once again joined him center stage. "Tom Quincy everybody. Hopefully this is the start of his comeback."

Tommy swaggered backstage even as she could see the uncertainty in his light eyes. He looked so unsure, her heart melted a little more and she took his hand. He smiled when she squeezed his fingers.

"That was awesome. But why-"

"I had to tell you-I do know you."

Jude nodded, already understanding what he had been trying to say. She knew this had not been easy for him, to perform like that, after all this time. "I love you," she mouthed.

Darius had summoned them to his office the next day, a Cheshire Cat graced his full lips. He sat back in his oversized chair, reminding Jude of a throne, and surveyed the couple.

"You two did great last night," he complimented, making Jude sag in relief, not sure if he had been angry that she had changed the song at the last minute. "It's time to make it legit. I'll have G-major's publicist schedule you two a press conference. Right now the public likes you together. There are even rumors you're the reason Tommy's restarting his singing career Jude."

She tensed again, not expecting this, even though she should have.

The two of them stared at one another with quiet understanding before turning their eyes back to Darius, Jude's apprehension clear in her dark blue eyes.

"That's probably not a good idea right now Darius," she said slowly, trying to sound in control, even though her stomach roiled. Why did things have to be so complicated, no matter what she did?

"Why not? It's a little late to play the privacy card now with all the publicity the two of you have been getting. And your performances-It was pretty obvious…"

"Jude's married," Tommy interrupted, waiting for the yelling to begin.

Darius leaned forward, over the desk, his palms planted on the surface, looming as if he might leap over the desk. "Married?"

"Separated…" It sounded more like a question than an answer from her lips. She had never seen this stern side of him, even though she had always sensed it was there.

"She's in the process of getting a divorce D," Tommy added, as he squeezed her hand to steady her.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner Tom?" His dark eyes pinned Tommy to his chair.

The two men turned to Jude in surprise when she finally spoke up. "No offense Darius, but it's none of your business. I work for you. You don't own me."

"Look D, you were looking for an artist that had the goods. She's right-Her personal life isn't your concern."

"Are you really that naïve Tom?" Darius asked incredulously. "Once she signed the contract, her privacy was going to be broken. You should know that better than anyone!"

"Then what do you want us to do? We're together and that's not going to change," Jude said softly, glancing briefly at Tommy before turning her attention back the man in front of her.

"How much longer until the divorce is final?"

"About three months."

Darius tapped the arm of his chair as they waited for his verdict. "That's too long," he finally said. "Give me your information and lawyer's name. I'll see if I can get it through faster."

"Uh okay…I'll get it to you tomorrow." She was a little stunned by the sudden change in attitude.

"We should get back to work." Tommy said to her, ready to get them out of this tense situation.

"Get out of here," Darius commented. "Oh and try to keep your relationship under wraps until I figure out how to spin this," he added as they reached the door.

They nodded, slipping out of the spacious office, before he could stop them again.o;


	29. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Darius propped his elbows on the large desk and rested his chin on his steepled fingers. There was something there he wasn't getting quite yet, some piece of information that would make their closed off behavior make total sense. He believed that her marriage, was definitely one of the things they had been keeping from him-but there was something else; he could feel it in his gut, with that sixth sense that made him an excellent businessman. His hand reached for his desk phone and he summoned some help. He would be stupid not to use all the resources available to him.

Portia opened the door without knocking, a few minutes later. She sat easily in one of the visitor chairs and crossed her legs. "What's going on Dare?" He had sounded distracted during the short call.

"How well do you know Jude?"

"We talk once in a while." Although Jude was perfectly friendly, Portia had noticed the slight reserve she showed with her, probably because of her loyalty to Tommy. She had wondered how Tommy would have explained Portia to Jude, if he had even disclosed anything at all. Tommy had never been one to share personal information of any importance after all.

"Well I need you to get closer."

"What?" she asked in confusion, not used to commands from him, which he usually only gave to his employees, never her.

He explained what he had learned from them. "They're hiding something else-Something big. I can feel it. I need you to find out what it is." After the leak from their last receptionist, he did not trust anyone else to do this. Every relatively new employee had become suspect. It had to be kept quiet, just incase it was something important.

As head of their family, he had always take care of everyone without asking for anything, so Portia could not find it in herself to say no, even though she didn't think this was necessarily the best idea. Then again, what could someone like Jude have to hide? The fact that she was married was a huge shock, but Portia was the first person who would understand impulsive weddings when you were too young to know better. And there was no morals clause in a musicians contract, so that wouldn't be a problem, even if they had something they did not want known.

Portia closed the door behind her, hoping that whatever their secret was, if there was indeed one, that it was nothing that would hurt Jude if it got out. Although Portia had mixed emotions about Tommy, he had been around long enough to know the score. Jude though, had just gotten into the industry and it was hard to say how well she would weather the added pressure, if some truly juicy news got out. The paparazzo could be relentless in their pursuit of a good story, invasive to the point of serious harassment.

* * *

Tommy woke up in confusion, feeling like he hadn't since his early teens, impossibly hard, his skin feeling almost ready to burst, a rub against sheets ready to send him over the edge. The only cure back then had been lots of nubile groupies. He finally understood the mutiny of his body when he felt long hair starting to brush down his chest, her lips tracing an erratic trail along his hot skin. Her hand held his balls and she squeezed lightly even as her teeth nipped at his muscular abdomen.

He didn't even have to look down to see that familiar blond head to know who it was that touched him so intimately because she was the only one he reacted to this strongly. His fingers tangled in her hair as her tongue trailed lower, tasting the salty tip of him. A small groan ripped from his lips as she circled his aching flesh. "Jude…"

She grinned against his straining arousal, giving his balls another squeeze, as her breath fanned his taut skin. Finally she took him into her mouth, fingers wrapping around the base of his shaft, following the movement of her lips along the length.

His hand tightened in her hair as she took him deep, sucking on his arousal as she pulled back. He felt the familiar building pressure, spiraling out of control almost since she had begun to touch him. His balls constricted as she slid those plump lips quickly along his length, sending him flying over the edge. Tommy groaned her name out, as his hips thrust up involuntarily.

After the last spasm past, she finally let go of him and slid her naked body up his.

He pulled her into him, his mouth seeking hers unerringly, tongue tasting himself on her lips.

From anyone other woman, he would have suspected that the act was done only for her own means, but because it was Jude he knew she only did it to make him happy. In the past he might have used most of the women that were sexual encounters, but they had used him right back, whether for his body or for the mere acquaintance of fame. Was it because he loved her, that the way he reacted to her body was amplified? But then again, ever since they had met, he had wanted her more than most, maybe more than anyone he had ever met before.

His hand rested on the back of her head to hold her firmly to him as his other hand slid down the outside of her thigh, moving in tiny increments towards her heat.

She shifted her legs to give him better access, but he still took his time to caress the silky skin. His hand circled to her ass, squeezing the tight globe and still not quite moving to where she ached.

She made a small whimper against his lips, and her mouth opened when his fingers stroked closer to her core.

Finally he delved between her legs and his finger dipped into her wetness, inner muscles gripping him snugly. A second finger joined the first and he pushed in past her natural tightness, causing her to arch her hips back towards him. Tommy's other hand drifted from her golden locks to cup her pouting breast, his head leaving her lips, to take the taut bud into his mouth. His knuckle brushed the hidden nub between her folds and she shattered in between heartbeats, holding his digits within her as he continued to feast on her now slightly rounder breasts. As her lover, he was the only one who had noticed yet, how her slender curves had started to fill out the smallest amount.

Tommy flipped her gently onto her back and hovered above her, her eyes glazed over with small frissons still pulsating within her. He nudged her thighs wider with his knee and pushed in forcefully, her contractions mere moments ago, keeping her opening snug.

Jude arched up her hips to help him fill her slick walls and his hands went under her ass to hold her at that angle.

He gritted his teeth, his intrusion so sweet it threatened to pull him over with one simple thrust.

She writhed underneath him, until he stilled her treacherous hips with his hands, withdrawing and filling her again, finding a steady rhythm.

His lips found hers to muffle her building scream. Her orgasm gripped him, holding him deep, as her nails dug into his shoulders.

Tommy continued to stroke as her spasms lessened, their chests pressed tightly together, their lips still fused. His hands moved farther down to the back of her thighs, pulling her legs higher, deepening the angle.

Jude's hand tangled in his hair, while the other splayed on his ass, holding him to her. It was as if her body was permanently primed to go off, where Tommy Quincy was concerned, even when the last tremors of pleasure had just faded, he was creating different sensations on the same spectrum. Ripples started to radiate from where they joined and she could feel the intensity magnified as she heard his labored breathing.

He pushed in faster, as deep as he could go before retreating quickly and entering her wet flesh once again. He opened his eyes to find that she was already looking at him, hers slightly glazed. This time his shuddering release triggered hers and she clung to him, her legs wrapping firmly around his waist to trap him, willingly, on top of her.

Tommy gazed down at Jude, noting the flushed, sweaty face and feeling an amusing moment of pride at how he effected her. But of course she had the same power over him and right then he did not care that her influence could be so strong. He pushed the clinging strands of blond out of her face and pressed his forehead to hers, their breathing mingling, like where their bodies were still joined.

* * *

"You're not helping," Jude complained laughingly, as she attempted to unlock the apartment, the tapping of his fingers low on her spine sending tingles across her skin, making her hand shaky.

He grinned at the unsteadiness in her voice. The memory of this morning was still fresh in his mind, had in fact been playing havoc with him all day at work, as he caressed her back and his mouth nibbled on her ear. He hadn't really been used to being woken up by a woman, having mostly shunned that intimacy of the physical act of sleeping with someone, at least until her. Now he found the many benefits to having an attractive woman at hand, well really only this woman.

She laughed as she pushed the front door open, stepping quickly out of his reach when she entered their home. She danced away and turned her head flirtatiously, her blues eyes flashing challenge and in an instant she was running for the hallway, almost tripping him with the jacket she had strewn on the floor.

He heard the clunk of her shoes and smiled, taking his time stalking, in her wake. It wouldn't exactly be a bad thing if she got to the bed first. He rid himself of his own jacket and started to unbutton his cuffs, pulling his shirt free of his jeans.

"What's taking you so long slowpoke?" she called behind her as she cleared the hallway, socks sliding on the polished floor. Jude stopped so suddenly in the doorway, she almost pitched forward and had to shift her weight back to maintain her balance.

The woman on the bed looked at her with wide eyes, the very naked raven haired beauty on the bed, who finally remembered to cover her bare form with the comforter. "You're not Tommy," she said with more aplomb than Jude would have had if the situations were reversed.

Jude could only stare as she felt him behind her, his arms wrapping around her over her shoulders. His face automatically moving in to nuzzle her neck.

"I'm slow-You didn't even make it into bed yet Harrison," he whispered huskily into her ear, his bare chest pressing into her back. It was then that he realized her body was unyielding, she was mute, and his eyes wandered past her into the room. "Oh fuck…" He stared incredulously at the woman, not quite able to wrap his mind around the scene. "Danni?"

"Hey Tommy," she shrugged sheepishly, luxuriant hair tumbling off her bare shoulder. "I just got back into town. I didn't realize…I uh should get dressed."

"Yeah…" he agreed readily and turned Jude around, pulling her with him out the door and closing it firmly behind them. The other woman was already forgotten as he led Jude back into the living room. He quickly slipped on the shirt he had left draped on the back of the couch.

He cupped her face and stared deep into her still dazed eyes. "I promise this isn't what-uh she's not my…," Tommy closed his eyes and sighed, trying to gather his thoughts into something coherent, even though he was worried about her silence. "Danni's an old friend -I swear I didn't know she was gonna show up. She's been away."

"I…" Jude was struggling so hard to not let the surging tide of jealousy take over. Being pregnant had not made her possessiveness, when it came to him, lessen. She felt herself split into pieces, one part wanting to trust him completely, but a voice inside her head asked how much she really knew about Tom Quincy's mysterious past. What did she really know about him and how important was that knowledge? It hadn't seemed overly important before, their feelings had been so attuned or so it had seemed. She did trust him; she didn't have to convince herself of that-but all of this was still a blow.

Danni chose that moment to enter the room, looking sheepish and apologetic. "I'm sorry Tom. I didn't realize you had someone with you…" she trailed off, as she took in the scene and the intimate way his fingers fanned the other woman's pale cheeks. Danni stepped closer and proffered a manicured hand. "I'm Danielle Reed." Somehow, instinctually she knew not to treat this one like the rest of Tommy's many female 'friends'.  
Tommy's arms dropped away from Jude, but he stayed close to her side, as if ready to grab her, should she decide to run.

Jude held her own hand out, hesitantly, and took Danni's in a brief shake. "Jude Harrison." The image of this woman in front of her, lying on their bed, was burned into her retinas and she wasn't ready to process the feelings roiling underneath the surface. Danni had been perfectly comfortable in that room, and Jude had finally realized that she had to have had a key too to get into the apartment. It didn't quite fit with what he had led her to believe about his involvement with other women. She had thought his serious relationships had been few and far between.

"Jude lives here now," Tommy volunteered, wanting to set the record straight, to prove that he was completely okay with acknowledging their relationship to those close to him. He had to make Jude understand, wasn't ready to test her faith in him so soon, deep down scared that he wouldn't pass. He willed Danni to leave, since she was too old of a friend for him to kick out.

Danielle gave a small self-deprecating laugh. "God now I'm really embarrassed. I didn't even know you were even seeing anyone Tom."

He didn't respond right away, making her feel even more uneasy. His eyes kept drifting back to Jude's slightly bent head.

"Well I guess I should go…" she finally said. "It was nice to meet you Jude."

Jude couldn't make herself do more than nod politely at Danni. She wasn't hypocritical enough to return the sentiment, but she wasn't, by nature, an unfriendly person either.

"Let me walk you to the elevator," Tommy suggested before turning to the woman beside him. "I'll be right back," he said softly against her hair, his hand touching her waist, trying to convey his sincerity through the simple contact.

Tommy pushed the down arrow and put his hands into his pants pockets.

She fished his spare key out of her purse and handed it to him, almost seeing visible relief that he did not have to ask. Men could be so typical. "She's pretty," Danni said lightly, even though her mind was racing a mile a minute. She didn't miss the goofy smile that he couldn't quite hide when she had mentioned Jude. This woman lived with him now. How had this happened? She hadn't been gone that long.

"She's different from anyone I've met in a longtime." There had never been anyone quite like her, to him at least. And the last thing he wanted to do was fuck this up.

Even his eyes lightened when he mentioned her, she noted. "So, really?"

He turned his head to her in puzzlement, not understanding.

"This is you now?" Danni tilted her head and studied him, trying to see some visible sign of change in him, but all she saw was the same gorgeous man, with the kissable lips and the fathomless eyes. That man, whom she had known for years, had no interest in commitment. And yet here he was, living with a woman whom he couldn't have known for very long.

She widened her own eyes in surprise when Tommy ducked his head as if suddenly shy. Tommy Quincy?

"It's what I want," he commented honestly, the calm in his pale blue eyes making her wary.

She gave an inner sigh of relief when the elevator dinged and the doors started to open. She needed distance to take all of this in. It was that unexpected.

"I'll give you a call tomorrow," he told her as she entered the small space, turning to go even before the doors had shut completely.

Danni left the building feeling unsettled, not understanding how things could have changed so quickly or that Tommy could have fallen so fast for someone, anyone. It wasn't like him, to just let someone in like that. He was usually so closed off to women, treating them not cruelly, but casually, as unimportant. It had taken her years to get close to him. And she had to admit it hurt that he hadn't even bothered to tell her.

Tommy let himself back in, his eyes searching for her immediately. He finally found her in the bedroom at his desk on his laptop. Was she already looking for a new apartment? "What are you doing?" he asked cautiously, walking up behind her.

"What do you think of this one?" she asked, instead of answering him.

His eyes went to the screen and the bed with the cherry wood frame. He cocked and eyebrow and stared down at her. "Is there a reason you're looking at beds?"

He didn't think it was an unreasonable question, but she turned her head and gave him a incredulous look.

"Because Danni was…" his words drifted away. How he was supposed to finish that sentence he wasn't sure. "Really?" He asked slightly incredulous that this would be what bothered her most, out of all the things wrong with the situation. He had to back up quickly or risk his toes getting battered by the chair legs, when she pushed back suddenly and spun to face him.

"Don't even say it," she warned to his dumbfounded face. "Don't tell me I've been sleeping in that bed fine, knowing I wasn't the first one in it." Now though she had at least one face among all those nameless women and it stung more than she could have imagined. She had never wanted to think about his past, but suddenly it was there, mocking her. She turned again and walked towards the bed, grabbing the pillows. Jude strode past him, towards the door, purposefully.

"Jude, no I-it's fine if you want a new bed. I didn't like that one anyway," he lied, having spent quite a bit of money to have that one personally made. He couldn't believe that it was actually getting to him that she wanted to be alone. "Jude-" he said in helpless exasperation. It was a backward slide, he couldn't accept.

"Are you coming?" she turned to ask in the doorway and he felt a profound sense of relief. Although the disaster had been averted, it still didn't feel like things were on stable ground. She had just found a naked woman on their bed and there was no way she could simply be okay with that.

They settled into the guestroom bed she had first slept on, and he pulled her close, facing her, trying to read her eyes.

"You never…in here, did you?" She didn't want to ask, but she had to know.

He shook his head and gave her a wry smile. "Kwest is the only other person who ever stayed in here."

She nodded solemnly. "Good." Her eyes slid away from his. "I'm sorry I freaked…"

He took her chin and tipped it back up to his gaze. "You didn't. Are we okay?" Even though she didn't answer, he could see there was something she wanted to say. "What?"

"I know I have no right to ask this…"

"Ask."

"Did you-Have you seen her since we met?" Of course that wasn't what she really meant and they both knew what she was asking. Had he had sex with her since they had gotten together? Had there been others?

He shook his head. "Jude you…"

"I know okay…I'm married and I didn't tell you. Forget it. It's none of my business." She put the back of her hand up to her face to cover her eyes. "I'm such a mess." She was on the edge, as the words tumbled out, knowing she shouldn't have mentioned it, knowing she had no right to know, even if she needed to.

It bothered him that she thought it was none of her business. He had been trying so hard to involve her in his life, even though it was pushing others away that had become second nature to him. And he really didn't need to be reminded that, at least on paper, she still belonged to someone else. Since when had he ever become so possessive?

Because of the stress of it all, his words came out a little more forceful than he had meant for them to. "No I haven't slept with her since we met-or anyone else either."

"Why?" Jude couldn't understand it. She knew from personal experience that he was a man with a high sex-drive and they had not made any commitments, implicit or otherwise, to one another in the beginning. Of course things had changed completely, but before-before it had been merely sex, hadn't it?

"Because I was completely obsessed with you, Jude." He had been acting completely out of character ever since she had dropped into his life and at least Kwest had commented on it. "Don't you get it? I haven't said 'I love you' to anyone in a long time," he said sincerely, willing her to understand.

She nodded, before continuing. "You just keep so much of yourself hidden away Tommy-Sometimes it's just hard to…Tonight was-" She knew she sounded exactly like she felt, hurt, confused and a little out of her depth.

"I know." His hand cupped the back of her neck and he brushed his lips against hers.

* * *

Jude's eyes fluttered open to find him staring intently at her, head resting on his elbow. Early morning sunlight cascaded through the spaces between the blinds, casting half his face in shadow. She wiped at the corner of her chin, wondering if she had drooled or something equally embarrassing, his look that discomfiting. "Why are you staring at me?" she whispered.

"I had this dream."

"Yeah? About me?" she asked teasingly, wondering if it had been the dirty kind. They had gone to bed mentally exhausted last night and done nothing beyond being in each other's arms.

He shook his head, and then changed his mind. "Well sort of."

"So…" she prompted as she studied his somber face and his hand went out to link with hers.

"It was weird. Real. I was at G-Major working like usual, then I came home. It was all normal, just a typical day…But-" The dream had made him feel off-kilter, wrong somehow. "You weren't there, in my life. I'd never met you-You know that weird certainty when you're in a dream? I could feel something was just gone though-Like you should have been there. It was completely wrong." He snorted at himself derisively. "I'm not making sense."

"No…I think I get it." She smiled softly at him, feeling strangely comforted by this. He seemed so upset by the idea, how could she doubt that he cared?

"Then what does it mean?" he asked, only half believing her assurance.

"You love me." And he didn't want to lose her, even though she did not say that part out loud.

* * *

Jude stood on a pedestal in the elaborate dressing area, Portia had commandeered when she had started at G-Major. She stared down at the other woman's dark hair and tried to stand still as Portia adjusted her outfit.

"That's funny I could have sworn I got those measurements right," Portia half mumbled to herself through the pins in her mouth, as she attempted to get the wrap skirt to fall properly on Jude's hips. She had taken Jude's measurements only a few weeks ago and although some artists reacted to stress by overeating, she hadn't gotten that impression from Jude.

"You might wanna try something in elastic…" Jude joked weakly, causing Portia to whip her head up quickly.

Wide brown eyes stared at blue ones in stunned disbelief. "Are you…"

Jude shrugged her shoulders and looked back at her with a slightly sheepish expression on her face. Lying had never come to her easily and she had been so busy getting herself ready to tell others, that it would have been impossible to deny it now.

An awkward silence fell over them, finally interrupted by Portia. "Darius mentioned you're married."

"Yeah. Not for much longer hopefully. Darius said he was gonna help with that."

Portia snorted and shook her head, before marking a chalk line on Jude's skirt. "Tommy never did respect boundaries."

"He didn't know actually," Jude defended automatically, feeling guilty herself. "I didn't tell him till we'd been seeing each other for a while."

"Oh…" And he hadn't run for the hills? Portia couldn't help but be a bit stunned. Suddenly Portia got this amused glint in her eye.

"What?" Jude asked.

"Tommy's the dirty mistress."

They stared at one another, Jude trying hard not to laugh, because it hadn't been his fault, but Portia's giggle escaped and that set her off.

Kwest heard the noise from the hallway and swung in to see what the commotion was about, to find the two women sitting on the pedestal, still laughing like mad. They both turned and smiled at him before trying to temper their humor, the occasional snort and giggle still popping out.

"What's so funny?" He smiled at them, surprised to see them enjoying one another's company. All he could make out were the words 'Tommy', and 'dirty mistress' from the two spluttering women who had broken out again in peals of laughter at his expression and presence. Of course those words were enough to send him off in hysterics too.

When Tommy came to check on Jude a few minutes later, not trusting his ex-wife's tongue, they had finally calmed down. Seeing him however had fanned the fires again, and Jude bit her lip hard enough to bruise, while Portia leaned into Kwest's shoulder grinning broadly.

"Anyone want McDonald's?" Kwest deadpanned, and Jude cackled, while Portia had tears coming from her eyes.

When Tommy managed to get Jude away, it never occurred to her, that now yet another person knew about the baby.


	30. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

"Hey you busy after work?" Tommy asked, his eyes still focused on the controls at his fingers.

"No plans. What's up?" Kwest glanced away from the glass partition at his friend.

"Just bought a new bed. I need help picking it up."

Kwest raised an eyebrow at him. "Can't afford delivery?"

Tommy turned and gave him a halfhearted glare. "The store couldn't do it till Thursday."

"And you can't wait because…" Sometimes getting answers out of Tommy was amusing and sometimes plain annoying; Kwest was leaning towards the latter this second. "And didn't you have your bed custom made? You wear it out already?"

Tommy didn't laugh at Kwest's lame joke. "Jude wanted a new bed."

"Isn't it a little early for that nesting instinct? I know pregnant women like to do crazy things like redecorate and clean obsessively, but it doesn't usually hit until she's uh…bigger?" Kwest had three older sisters and two of them had given him nieces and nephews. He had had plenty of experience with pregnant women.

Tommy rolled his eyes and rubbed his head, the memory still a little too fresh in his mind. He wasn't quite sure he trusted Jude to remain so calm about the whole thing. "Yeah. Jude's not exactly redecorating or whatever you just said."

"Then…" Kwest looked at him expectantly.

"It was the whole, naked woman on the bed that kind of ruined it for her."

"Excuse me?" Kwest spluttered, almost choking on the bottle of water he'd just brought to his lips. "You brought a woman home?" He felt disgust rising up. His dark eyes were darts in the side of Tommy's skull. There were just some lines that…

Tommy sounded equally shocked at the suggestion, as if the idea had never crossed his mind. "No! I came home with Jude last night. Danielle's back in town."

Kwest relaxed his shoulders and breathed a sigh of relief. Although his best friend had done some questionable things in his life, this would have been over the top. "Oh…and I take it you never told her about Jude."

Tommy shrugged. "I never thought about it. With everything that's been goin' on…I haven't really talked to her."

It didn't really surprise Kwest that Tommy hadn't kept in contact with Danni; he wasn't that guy. Kwest was surprised that she hadn't stayed in touch with Tommy. Almost everyone knew how she felt about him, even if Tommy himself had never realized it, which in itself was surprising because he was used to women falling at his feet and took advantage shamelessly. It was as if some mental block kept Tommy from seeing Danni the way she really was, and Kwest conceded, it made sense since she had been a vital part in bringing him back to himself after Angie's accident. Angie who had been the love of his life and the backup singer for Boyz Attack when he had been married to Portia. Ultimately though, he had chosen to remain with his band for the fame, instead of running off with her. Tommy had always only seen what he wanted to, usually at the expense of women's feelings, although that clearly wasn't true with Jude now.

"So does Jude know about Danni?"

Tommy shrugged. "She knows Danni's an old friend," and that they had occasionally slept together. He wasn't about to bring that part up though, unless she asked about it again.

"What about-"

Tommy shook his head before Kwest could continue.

"Are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know." Tommy shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He did know though, that he should tell her, had reconciled himself to that fact before now. But even though he knew he should, it was still hard to find the words, the right opening. "Yeah I guess-She should know."

Kwest studied his friend, still struck by the fact that maybe he really had changed. Angie was not an easy subject for him, and just the point that Tommy realized he needed to tell Jude about it, proved that he no longer thought only about himself.

* * *

They linked fingers and Tommy raised their clasped hands, staring in strange fascination. Jude had her head on his shoulder, her naked body still pressed on top of his, although her sprawl was more freeform now that they weren't joined intimately. "We should get hitched when it's finalized," he said idly as he watched the way their fingers fit together.

The lawyer Darius had found for Jude, had informed them just today that the final paperwork for the divorce should be ready in less than two weeks and it had been a relief in so many ways, even though Jude still felt a hollow twinge of regret at the thought of Jamie. She was glad it was coming to a close and at the same time sad that this last tenuous connection that held them together would finally be broken. Because she was lost in these thoughts, it took her a moment to register exactly what he had just said.

"What?" she said in a loud squeak as she scrambled off of him, her knee barely grazing a sensitive area of his anatomy, causing a slight automatic wince anyway. Jude pulled his shirt from off the floor before turning back to stare incredulously.

"We-should-get-married," he enunciated crisply and with a wry twist to his lips. He had never really thought about doing it again, but this felt right, inevitable. They were going to have a baby and he loved her, was in love with her.

"Tommy…" Jude said with a hint of panic in her voice. She started again, trying to organize her thoughts. She didn't know what marriage meant anymore. Her parents had once been a shining example, but she had learned there were limitations on how long it could last. She and Tommy, both had already done it once. "You know I love you right?"

He nodded and waited for her to continue, not expecting anything but her agreement.

"My life's so complicated right now-and I don't want to get married again, just because we 'should'." She knew she wasn't explaining it properly, but for once was at a loss for the right words. "I love you so much-I just don't think we should rush into this. Neither of us have the best track record." Her big blue orbs pled with his lighter colored ones. "Say something…"

"Okay," he said quietly.

She frowned, seeing the slight shift in his eyes, a slight closing off of himself.

"Tommy I just want to be with you." She tried to make him understand that she wasn't refusing because she didn't want him enough, but until she figured herself out, marriage didn't seem like a reasonable thing to do. She had once thought marriage was supposed to be forever, but her own had not even survived two years. How could she go through all of that again, with someone she was starting to learn, just might be her soul mate?

"I love you Jude." His lips closed on hers, and he pulled her flush against him, ending the pretty much one-sided conversation. Jude felt a slight frisson of unease at the way he had not really talked about it and prayed she was simply imagining things.

* * *

The day had started off perfectly, a not so early session of hot, but languorous sex on their new bed, a late breakfast and then heading to work to do what they both loved. Jude had to admit at the moment she had no complaints and even though Darius wanted their relationship on the down low they held hands as they headed into G-Major.

Portia, Darius, and Kwest were standing around someone Jude couldn't make out. As she and Tommy drew closer Kwest stepped back, nodded at them and walked back to his studio leaving an opening for them.

"Hey stranger. You going to give me a proper hello?" Her smile was dazzling and Jude turned to see Tommy's answering one as he stepped up to Danni to give her a hug. She kissed his cheek when he pulled back to smile at her. Before she could say more to him he had turned back to Jude.

"Jude, I didn't know you worked here too." Tommy had not mentioned much about her during that brief visit.

Tommy pulled Jude closer to him into the group.

"Our most promising new artist," Darius replied giving Jude a bright smile.

"Oh I didn't know you sang." Danni sounded surprised.

Something about the way Danni said it, didn't sit quite right with Jude. It almost sounded like she had not thought that Jude fit into this world, or maybe that she hadn't expected her to have any talent. Jude wondered if she was just projecting her own unease at the presence of Danni and just imagining the slightly condescending vibe because no one else had seemed to notice anything wrong with Danni's attitude towards her.  
Danni had already continued her conversation with Darius and Portia, Tommy jumping in with a few quips of his own.

Jude got the gist that the other woman had worked for D briefly from their conversation and that she was good friends with Portia. She was silent as she listened to their light banter, bringing up old history that she had no part in.

Tommy noticed her silence and said softly against her ear. "Why don't you go setup? I'll meet you in a couple of minutes okay?"

Danni spoke before Jude had managed to get away. "Hey why don't we all get out tonight? P I haven't met your man yet," she said in a teasing tone. "And Jude I haven't had a chance to talk to you at all. I need to know the woman who managed to get Tom Quincy to settle down."

"That sounds like a plan. I'll have to badger Malcolm into leaving work at a reasonable time," Portia commented in an optimistic tone.

Danni sounded perfectly friendly, but Jude didn't know if it was simple jealousy that made her uneasy anyway. Danni was all the things she was not, sophisticated, polished , with curves in all the right places. Jude forced a smile and nodded. "That sounds good. I'll see you later then…" she trailed off, even as everyone turned their attention back to Danni.

* * *

They sat at a long table in one of those overpriced trendy restaurants that had reservations booked months in advance with their tiny portions of food that wouldn't keep a mouse alive. Portia had called Malcolm to join them, and he was seated next to her, with Kwest on her right, while Tommy sat across from them with Danni and Jude on either side of him. Darius had bowed out, saying he had a date tonight, but had insisted Danni come in to visit again.  
Jude and Malcolm gave each other commiserating smiles, neither of then sharing that Boyz Attack past the rest of the table did and therefore both remained relatively quiet.

Danni's throaty laughter had Jude forcing herself to pay attention once again. Danni lifted her dirty martini, gesturing wildly at Tommy. "Speaking of practical jokes, you remember this one and that octopus he put in that hotel toilet?"

The group burst into laughter and even Jude had to smile. "Where did you get it from?"

"Aquarium in the restaurant we were at," Tommy said sheepishly before taking another sip of his drink. It had been a dare from Chaz and Tommy had never been able to back down when challenged.

"I thought Darius was going to kill you when he got that hotel bill." Danni had been interning for Darius as his personal assistant at the time, Darius giving her the job as a favor to Portia whom she had become friends with in boarding school.  
The night continued with conversation mainly dominated by old stories and old friends. The liquor flowed freely for all, except Jude and she couldn't fathom how large the bill would be.

Jude brought her hand to her mouth in a vain attempt to stifle a yawn and Tommy turned away from the conversation, towards her, a soft look in his eyes. "Tired?"

"I'm okay." She smiled at him and then another yawn came upon her and she grinned sheepishly.

"We should go home," he said, even as his eyes drifted back to his friends.

She shook her head. "No, you're having a good time. You stay. I'll just catch a cab."

"Are you sure, you don't want me-"

"No it's fine. I'll see you at home." She made to stand, when his hand caught hers.

"Take the Viper." He started to dig in his pants pocket for the keys.

Danni listened unabashedly, almost disbelieving that Tommy willingly let Jude have his car keys. He never let anyone drive his vehicles, at least until now.

"I can give you a ride Jude," Kwest chimed in. "I have an early session anyway."

"Thanks man," Tommy nodded at his friend.

They stood up and made their goodbyes, Jude sensing that they would hardly be missed. She had noticed that Kwest was not as warm towards Danni as the rest of her friends. Suddenly she felt even more tired, hating that she couldn't get the woman out of her mind. Maybe if Tommy hadn't been the slightest bit distant the last few days, she would have felt more secure, but she had felt his withdrawal into himself and tonight had been the first night she had seen that unguarded light in his eyes again.

Danni watched Portia in the bathroom mirror, amused that she wasn't quite getting the bright lipstick in the boundaries of her lips. It was no surprise since they had ordered a couple more bottles of champagne and Portia had gone through a good deal of it. "It's good to see you so happy," Danni commented at the smile that hadn't left Portia's face all night. It was the first time she had met Malcolm and she approved. He was stable, handsome and warm, all the things Portia needed and had been missing.

Portia giggled and grinned at her friend. "Can you believe Tommy as a dad?" It had been the dream of many a woman to have his child, with those matching blue eyes.

Danni's face froze and she spun to face her friend. "What?" Then she remembered that Jude had stuck to soda most of the night.

Portia, who was too drunk to notice, continued. "Why do you think he asked her to move in? I guess they were having this hot and heavy affair."

"Affair?" Danni asked in a disbelieving voice.

"Well she's married-or at least I think she still is. Dare said something about helping her speed up the divorce." Then as if realization dawned into her drunken stupor, Portia giggled again and put her hand to her lips. "I probably wasn't supposed to say anything." The she gave Danni an exaggerated look. "You can't say anything, promise me. Dare doesn't know about the baby yet," she said in a loud stage whisper.

"Course I wouldn't say anything P." She gave Portia a comforting smile, even as the thoughts roiled inside her. A baby was too permanent, even if they didn't stay together. It shouldn't have been this random girl he had met only a few months ago. But why would he let himself be tied down because of a kid? The world did not work that way anymore. A more terrifying thought occurred to her.

"Does he love her?" Even though Jude was living with him, it had still been hard for Danni to believe it was serious between them. Tommy did not exactly have the best track record when it came staying with any one woman.  
Portia snorted indelicately and shrugged. "As much as Tommy Quincy can love anyone besides himself."

"She doesn't seem like his type."

"She's got a pulse and she's not butt ugly. Besides she's got a good voice. You know Tommy can't resist that." Her statement was only half true. Strangely enough, after Angie, he had rarely gotten involved with anyone in the music business, preferring the beautiful pool of models he had access to as an ex-boybander heartthrob.

"Did Tommy get her the contract?" Although Jude did not strike her as overly ambitious, some people could hide their true selves. Danni was protective of the conflicted bad boy and she never apologized for it.

Portia shook her head. "From what I hear, Dare forced Tommy to get her signed. Fearless offered her a contract first."

Danni fell silent, thankful that Portia was too drunk to remember much of this conversation. She would have had to explain too much otherwise. Her friend had never known that it had been she who had stayed with Tommy when he had that mini breakdown, after Angie's death. Even when he had been married to Portia, Danni had loved him.

* * *

"Are you in a hurry to get home?" Jude asked lightly, a slight cajoling tone to her voice. The fresh night air had given her a second burst of energy.

Kwest gave her a questioning glance before turning his eyes back to the road. "No. Somewhere you need to go?"

"How do you feel about smart, leggy blondes?"

"In principal or is there someone specific?" he asked warily. He, like most sane men, hated blind dates and had done his best to avoid them. But he had been in a bit of a dry spell lately and this didn't really sound like it could be considered a date.

"I need to grab something from my sister Sadie's apartment. You should come up with me." It had been in the back of Jude's mind that maybe Sadie would like Kwest and vice versa. Her sister had just complained the other day what a scumbag she had gone out with the other night and that there didn't seem to be any decent guys left in Toronto. "So…Tommy and Danni are close huh?"

"They've known each other since the Boy Attack days. We all have."

She wasn't sure how to ask, had never thought she was one of those nosy jealous women, but sometimes it was hard to forget how much more experience Tommy had. Her mood grew pensive and she bit her bottom lip, forcing herself to let it go.

"Hey I wouldn't worry about Danni. You can probably tell she has feelings for him-but he's never noticed. When you want a woman, you notice." And although he knew they had slept together, Tommy had only ever treated it like any random hookup. He gave her a pointed look that had her giving him a small smile. She knew Tommy had told him about her long before they had gotten together officially, well semi-officially anyway since Darius hadn't wanted them to advertise their relationship until her marriage was dissolved.

"Thanks Kwest."

"Anytime," he said in an easy way that was distinctly his own.

They had stayed at Sadie's longer than she expected and wondered if Tommy had beat her home. It seemed, at least to Jude, that Sadie and Kwest were getting along if the light flirting had been any indication, not that she usually noticed stuff like that. While other girls in high school had been obsessed with boys, Jude had been obsessed with her guitar. She had even written a song about it and the thought of it still made her wince in embarrassment.

"So…What do you think of my sister?"

"Uh…."

She had to laugh, knowing what kind of impression Sadie made on the average male, at least those who liked gorgeous blue eyed blondes.

Jude thanked Kwest for the ride and grinned at him, having just finished teasing him for getting that phone number Sadie had slipped him. He had been struck dumb at the sight of her beautiful sister and Jude felt satisfied that her instincts had been right.

* * *

As she entered the lobby she saw the man, leaning heavily against the dark haired woman, his arm slung over her shoulders. He turned with his unwilling helper under his arm and grinned goofily at her. There was an openness in his eyes, a way he only looked at her that alleviated her own insecurities, despite that small barrier he had erected between them the last few days.

"Hi…." Jude had to smile at him. He looked so relaxed and happy to see her, even she couldn't read anything into their position except that Danni was helping him home after had had too much to drink. Her eyes widened as he swayed a little, trying to untangle himself from Danni to attach himself to her.

Danni held onto him, sensibly telling him to wait until they got to the apartment and Jude was relieved, not knowing if she could handle getting him upstairs alone. Jude held onto his other arm to keep him steady as they waited for the elevator to descend.

When they entered the elevator Danni managed to prop Tommy against the wall, expertly.

He stroked Jude's hair like she was a pet, and both woman could only smirk at his antics.

"Lot of practice?" Jude asked in amusement.

"Not that I want to remember," Danni said easily, rolling her eyes. "Thanks for letting me borrow him tonight," she added glibly even as she studied Tommy's slouched figure.

And yet again Jude didn't feel like smiling back. Was she reading more than was implied in that sentence? Why would Danni deliberately say something that would put doubts into her mind? Had she done it on purpose? "Sure," she said quietly, still trying to puzzle the woman out. Was she just a good friend looking out for him? Or was there more to the story, like Kwest had mentioned, that she was actually in love with him. She told herself firmly to not make more of it than was there.  
Danni left them at the door and waved jauntily before sauntering back to the elevator in her high heels.

* * *

Jude wanted to giggle when Tommy flopped out of her arms, onto the bed, heavily, letting out a grunt of air.

"Come 'ere beautiful," he said cajolingly, despite being wasted, eyes filling with something else she recognized.

Jude laughed as she moved to his side. "You need to get this off." She reached for his shirt and he lifted his body for her like a child.

"Sounds like a plan," he said in a low raspy voice, ruined only by the wiggling of his eyebrow.

She had never seen him like this, the only other times she had been around him when he had had too much to drink, he had been introspective and closed off, not affectionate and horny like he was now. She managed to get his shirt off, revealing his hard chest, before he pulled her on top of him.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered against her lips and it would have melted her if not for the unpleasant smell of alcohol on his breath and skin.

"So are you," she whispered with a smile in her voice.

He nuzzled her neck and she slid off of him to curl into his side.

She closed her eyes and let his hands wander along her back, lost in the way only he made her feel. It took her a moment to realize his fingers had stopped caressing and that his lips had fallen away.

"I meant it..." he murmured.

"Meant what?" she asked in puzzlement, lifting her head to stare down at him, confronted by his slackened mouth and a soft snore emitting from it. His arms fell away to his sides as she moved and she sighed, kissing his cheek softly, before attempting to remove the rest of his clothes.

* * *

Jude grinned up at him as he wandered into the kitchen. Droplets from his damp hair ran down the side of his face and down his neck. He didn't appear to even notice as he turned his red rimmed eyes towards the counter.

"Thanks," he said in a hoarse whisper as he got a mug and poured some coffee, that she had obviously brewed for him since she no longer drank the stuff. He sat down across from her and she pushed a bottle of ibuprofen along with a glass of orange juice towards him before continuing on her bowl of cereal.

After downing half a cup of coffee, he felt slightly better. "You got back kind of late too," he said vaguely remembering bumping into her in the lobby.

Jude gave a secretive grin. "I had Kwest drive me over to Sadie's so I could pick up some stuff."

"Ah…What did he think of your sister?"

"What do you think?"

"Did he ramble much?"

Jude gave a small laugh. "Not too much. I think she's interested. She gave him her number. So did you have a good time last night?"

"Yeah I guess. Danni's a blast when she wants to be."

Jude took a careful sip of her juice. "I don't think she likes me," she commented a little hesitantly, knowing he was close with the other woman.

He scoffed at her comment. "She does, she just doesn't know you yet. She's got kind of a quirky sense of humor, so don't take anything she says too seriously."

What could she say? It was obvious Tommy would defend Danni if Jude voiced anymore of her doubts and Danni hadn't really done anything wrong, except the occasional insinuation.

"Were you two ever… together like a couple?"

He shook his head and wished he hadn't immediately. "She's one of my best friends Jude. She was there for me when I was in a bad way, but no, we were never more than casual."

He confirmed what Kwest had said and she breathed an inner sigh of relief. She did wonder when he had been unhappy enough to need someone else and why, but she couldn't ask.

"I promise you'll like her once you get to know her."

Jude didn't think so, but didn't tell him so, instead taking another sip of her juice. "Is she in town long?"

He got up and poured himself some more coffee before sitting back down. "I'm not sure. I think D offered her a position at the studio."

"Oh…Doesn't she already have a job?" she tried not to sound too interested, unable to imagine how it would be if they all wound up working together.

Tommy shrugged. "She's always looking for something better. She's pretty ambitious." He said with no small amount of admiration. "Did you take your vitamins yet?" he asked, decidedly sick of the subject of Danni, sensing Jude's strange mood.  
Jude shook her head. "Not yet."

He got up again and picked up the bottle from the counter, tapping two pills out. He reached out to her outspread palm, and instead of simply dropping them, placed them gently onto her hand, his fingers closing over hers for a brief second.  
They didn't speak, but their eyes held for just a small sliver of time, before he pulled away and she chased the prenatal vitamins down, one at a time, with her juice.

"How's your head?" she asked, seeing the tightness by his eyes.

"It's getting better." He massaged his temple, the pain had become a dull ache.

"Maybe we should just do a little writing today." They would still go into G-Major, but the volume of the music was definitely something he could do without.

"Are you feeling inspired?" He quirked the corner of his lips.

"Maybe," she smiled back.


	31. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Michael Brennan was not naïve enough to believe this story would get his name out there, since the big payoff would be coming from a tabloid and not some respectable magazine like Newsweek or Time. But it was a juicy tale, with sex, betrayal, and pregnancy thrown into the mix. All he had to do was get the right photographs to highlight the oh so interesting tale of one of G-Major Studio's hottest rising stars and her lover/producer the infamous ex-boy band player. Then he would sell it to the highest bidder.

* * *

  
They were outside of G-Major, in the fading light of dusk, deciding to get home relatively early for once, although most of the other employees had still beaten them out of the building.  
Jude leaned against Tommy's Viper, grinning up at him.

He stood between her spread legs, his fingers dancing lightly over the sensitive skin of her sides.

"Stop!" Jude shrieked, unable to stop laughing, her hands finally catching his wrists.

"You ate my ice cream," he stated in outrage. She knew he had a sweet tooth and she had still filched the last bites of his ice cream cone, they had gotten at the shop around the corner, while he'd been putting her bag into the car.

"Hey your child was hungry too," she said laughingly.

"Oh really?" he said in a low, husky voice, drawing his face ever closer to hers. "That sounds so sexy." The idea of his kid, growing inside her, just did something for him.

Jude smiled at him, and let go of his wrists, their fingers entwining.

Tommy leaned in and took her willing mouth in a ravenous kiss, the taste of sweet cream on both their tongues.

* * *

Tommy padded into the bedroom barefoot, wearing only his jeans and stopped abruptly, taking in the vision before him. He felt blood rushing through his brain and then in an instant, down lower.

She pretended not to notice him, one bare leg sprawled out and the other knee upraised, causing the hem of his open dress shirt to slide suggestively high on her very bare thighs. She licked the silver spoon with just the tip of her pink tongue, before dipping it into the pint of ice cream she held in her hand. Jude scooped some of the softened cream out of the tub and lapped at it like a self-satisfied kitten, her eyes finally meeting his. "I owe you some ice cream."

She did not say it in a cheesy seductive way, but stated it with just a hint of huskiness in her voice. That got to him more than if she were to vamp it up and play a part that was not her.

He swallowed hard, before grinning broadly, his lower body tightening in anticipation as he got onto the bed.

"Oops," she said as she tipped the spoon sideways and they both watched the ice cream slide off the spoon, between her breasts. She shivered reflexively at the cold wetness, now starting to slide down, towards her stomach.

Tommy took the carton and spoon out of her hands and put them on the nightstand before settling between her legs.

His tongue spread the cream out to the edges of her breasts, before he chased the sweetness around her silky skin.

Jude's fingers caught in his hair, holding him just roughly enough to excite as he continued to suck up the dessert.

His tongue spiraled from the out edge of her breast inwards, closer to her tightened peak with every pass.

She felt wetness, warmth pooling between her legs, as his hand ran up her thigh. She almost couldn't take the teasing of his mouth, until finally she let out a small moan when he clamped his lips over the aching bud.

He sucked on it with pressure, but not so hard as to hurt her, both of them having found out how sensitive her nipples had become. His hand slid between her legs, finding the moisture gathered and slicked it along her lower lips with his fingers. He ran his hand back and forth until her hips arched towards him in desperation.

His finger delved into her core, getting a small cry from her parted lips. His thumb found the small cluster of nerves and rubbed gently as he worked within her.

Jude felt the spiraling tension gather force and when a second finger joined the first, thrusting more insistently, his mouth clamped down on her breast, she went over quickly, pulsing around him, her fingers digging into scalp.

He looked up at her and she gave him a dazed smile that had him grinning. He reached for the tub of ice cream and dipped some out with his fingers.

Jude watched dazedly, as he slid lower on her body and let the ice cream fall at the juncture of her thighs. It melted quickly on her heated skin and slid towards the folds of her hidden core. She sucked in a sharp breath when his mouth followed the course, sure to lap up every last drop of cream before moving to the next spot.

Finally his fingers sank into her depths as his tongue found the sensitive nub. He circled the swollen flesh as his fingers pushed into her.

Jude's hands moved to his shoulders as if looking for something to hold onto, and her nails dug into his flesh. She didn't know why, but the second release was always different, more intense and yet sublime at the same time. She had felt the tension building higher yet again and shattered the moment he took her flesh into his mouth to suck delicately, his fingers pushing in deep. Her thighs that had held him captive moments before, fell away, boneless as she sprawled back against the pillows, panting.

He moved back up her body, grinning at her before finding her lips. "Did I wear you out already?" he whispered against her throat. Tommy's hands cradled her hips and her arms wound around his neck.

"Try me," she whispered back, eyes glittering as she stared up at him, her hips shifting ever so subtly. She felt him, hard against her inner thigh and raised her knees on either side of his hips, drawing him at the right angle. "Do you want me Tommy?"

He positioned at her entrance and thrust in forcefully, knowing she was wet and open to him.

She gasped again, feeling the way her inner muscles stretched around him.

"Feel how much I don't want you Jude," he growled against her ear, before finding his punishing rhythm. He pushed in deep, twisting with his hips before withdrawing to the tip.

Small erotic noises, came from her throat as she raised her hips to take him in fully.

With every strong plunge of his body, they both flew higher. Their gasps and moans became inseparable as they moved in sync.

Jude's hands fisted in the sheets as he moved above her.

His hands slid from her ass to the back of her thighs, pulling them higher so that he could go bury himself in her depths. Blood roared in his head as he felt the loss of control drive his pace over the edge. He pulsed hotly within her as her muscles convulsed sweetly around him. He felt the last shattering tremors run through him, and he collapsed into her arms, head against her breasts.

Her fingers ran through his sweaty hair and she asked lazily, "you don't want me huh?"

Despite his boybander past, he had never considered himself the romantic, but as he stared up into her indigo eyes, he said the only words that came. "More than anything." Then his lips brushed against hers, once, twice and again.

* * *

It was midmorning when Jude woke up, a smile coming to her lips immediately when she felt his arm draped over her waist, anchoring her snugly against him. They frequently woke up this way, always touching, his body warm and solid against hers. He had become that for her, her center, her anchor. She blinked to clear her head, realizing finally what had woken her to begin with. The pregnancy had made her sleep sounder these days, so she was surprised when she awoke before Tommy.

The phone rang again and this time he made a small grunt of protest, pulling her closer to his body before reaching out to his nightstand.

Jude snickered at the mumbled 'hello' he said to the receiver, his mouth still half covered by his pillow case.

"Sadie? What?" He sat up, suddenly more alert, keeping his arm against Jude's body. "What does it say?"

Jude frowned, first because her sister was talking to Tommy and secondly because his tone had gone serious.

"How many?"

She didn't understand the one sided conversation, but it did not sound promising for their day. He was holding her tighter than she thought he realized.

"Okay, thanks. We will."

"Yeah, she'll call you later."

His face was somber when he turned to her.

"What's wrong? What did my sister want?" she asked immediately, confused that Sadie had talked to him and not her.

He explained that a rather salacious story had made the front cover of Talk National, concerning them and that Sadie had driven by their apartment building and there appeared to have been a group of reporters camped out on the sidewalk, stopped only by the doorman.

"What's the story about?" Dread a building pool in her stomach.

"Everything." His eyes held hers. "Your marriage, how I convinced you to sign with G-Major….The baby…" He didn't mention that there were also implications she had used her pregnancy to get something from him, but he would deal with that later, not wanting to upset her now.

Her hand went to her stomach reflexively, as if their child already needed protecting. Maybe she did have instincts she had been unsure of before.

"From what Sadie said, there were a lot of details that were true, even with all the B.S. they usually add. Who have you told about the baby?"

Jude closed her eyes for a second, trying to wrap her head around the situation. "Um Jamie, Sadie, my dad-Portia?"

He nodded and his eyes creased as he thought.

"What about you?"

"I only told Kwest." His mind ran through the usual suspects, but only two of their number had inside knowledge of G-Major. It didn't make sense. Why now? They were going to go public soon anyway. It wasn't exactly like they could hide her pregnancy for much longer, not that he would have agreed to do that anyhow.

He stood up quickly, displacing her from his side.

She stared up at him, from the tangled sheets, in puzzlement at his abrupt manner.

"Why don't you stay home, I just need to go in and talk to Darius, find out what's going on."

She sat up and looked him squarely in the eye, a determined jut to her jaw. "You're not leaving without me."

"Jude," he shook his head, "there are reporters camped outside and they can be a lot worse than you've seen them."

"If you're going in, so am I."

"Jude I don't want you to get stressed out about this."

"I need to know what's going on too Tommy."

He sighed and ran his hand through his rumpled hair. "Fine. We should shower." The last thing they needed was to have unflattering pictures turn up, with all the implications the paparazzo could make with them.

* * *

"Tommy, Darius wants to see you and Jude right away," the receptionist said before he could rush into the inner sanctum of G-Major. They were both tense, having had to sneak out of their apartment building via the backstairs and coming through the alley doors to get into G-Major.

Jude and Tommy sat in front of the taciturn man, waiting for what he had to say.

"Is it true?" Darius asked, tossing the tabloid down on the desk in front of them. The cover picture was of them, locked in an embrace, Tommy pressing her into the side of his Viper as his mouth devoured hers.

"Which part?" Tommy couldn't resist asking.

"Don't be a smartass T." He turned his dark eyes to Jude, his gaze making her want to squirm like a misbehaving schoolgirl. "Are you pregnant?"

"Yes."

"How long have you two known?"

Neither of them wanted to meet his eyes.

"Awhile," Tommy finally said, defiance on his face.

"And you didn't think it was important enough to mention it?" Darius shook his head. "I gave you a chance to come clean."

"Darius we were going to-" Jude said earnestly.

"You're both suspended," Darius interrupted, his implacable mask in place as he stared at the couple across his large polished desk.

"For how long?" Tommy asked tersely.

She could see his tensed jaw and place her hand on his arm. He did not respond to the contact, instead his glacier blue eyes remained fixed on his boss.

"Indefinitely." It was like a death knell, the perfect ending to a perfectly shitty day. His tone brooked no argument and Tommy knew better than to try when he was in this mood, even though he wanted to blast the other man. But he had learned ago the world wasn't fair and saying so would change nothing.

The reply had Jude sucking in her breath. This was his job, her future, theirs- on the line. If she could have done things differently…

Jude followed Tommy's lead and stood.

They walked out, with Darius's hard eyes watching their departure.

"Is he really doing this, just because we didn't tell him? Or because I'm pregnant?" Jude asked, still shocked at being suspended. What did it even mean? What about her album? They had been working so hard on it.

"Probably some of both. Darius likes to be in control."

She was quiet as she nodded at him.

Tommy turned towards her, halting her step. "Can you go wait in my office? I need to do something."

"Where are you going?"

"I need to talk to Portia."

"You think…"

"I don't know." He wasn't lying. He really didn't know. His ex-wife was surely not his biggest fan, but this seemed extreme even for her, especially when there was someone besides himself involved.

She nodded, letting him stalk away, feeling completely helpless and out of her depth. She didn't want to be away from him, even for a second right now, but he had already left her alone. She had wanted her chance to make music, even if for years she denied herself that dream and now it seemed to be falling apart around her. Why was it, when everything seemed to be going so right, it had to crumble around her?

She barely noticed Kwest walking by, until he said her name. "Jude? You okay?"

"Darius suspended me and Tommy," she said instead of answering his question.

His brown eyes widened in shock. "Because of the tabloid?"

She nodded and stared down aimlessly. "We don't even know who could have told the press. The only people who knew here were you and Portia. Uh not that I think you had anything to do with it," she backtracked.

He gave her a grin. "Relax. I know you weren't accusing me. Besides I have way more dirt on Tommy than this."

He got a small reluctant smile from her.

"You know if Portia knows, then she might have told other people."

"You have someone in mind?"

He shrugged. "I can't say for sure-but there aren't that many people who would care that Tommy's happy with you."

Tommy did not knock on the costume room door, instead barging in to see Portia standing in front of one of the singers, adjusting her hem.

The startled singer placed a hand in front of her chest where the shoulder strap of her dress had not yet been added and the material gaped slightly.

"Sorry…" He turned his head away while the singer scrambled off the raised platform she had been standing on. "Portia we need to talk."

"Look Tommy as you can see, I'm busy," she said impatiently, hands planted on her curvy hips.

"Why did you do it?" he asked in a tight voice, barely concealed anger brewing in the depths.

"Do what?" she asked, her temper rising at the tone of his voice.

"Jude told you she was pregnant."

Portia gave a sarcastic laugh. "You think I tipped off the tabloids?"

"God Portia. I know I didn't treat you good-but that was a longtime ago. Why are you trying to wreck things now?" His voice rose in volume and her anger rose in response.

Her mouth opened in disbelief at his ego. "Fuck you Tommy. I did not say anything to the papers. I have my own life now and it has nothing to do with you."

Jude cracked the door open, unnoticed by the two occupants as she entered the room.

"Fine. You claim it wasn't you. Then who did you talk to Portia?"

Portia shook her head, her braids bouncing around her shoulders. "Just Malcolm…" she trailed off as she remembered that dinner. "and Dani," she added.

Jude reached his side before he could say anything else to the other woman. "Let's go Tommy," Jude said softly, her hand on his arm, feeling the tension through his body.

He forced himself to relax before looking at her and nodding.

Portia shook her head, roiling emotions making her feel edgy. She snorted to herself, knowing there would be no apologies from that quarter. She hated that he still had the power to make her angry, quicker than anyone else ever could.

"You think Dani…" Jude trailed off as they walked towards the alley exit of the building.

"She's one of the few people I trust Jude."

She didn't continue, knowing he was not in the right frame of mind for this conversation. Kwest had told her Tommy didn't get that Dani had always been in love with him. Jude had been skeptical of his pronouncement, knowing Tommy knew his way around women, even if he hadn't always treated them well, but now she had to reassess, as she stared at him.

"I'm sorry." It came out in a soft rush as they sped down the streets of Toronto, trying to outrun the paparazzi that had spotted them driving out of the alley and been brave enough to follow.

He looked over at her, startled out of his own roiling emotions. "For what?"

"This is all my fault."

He shook his head and disregarded her words. "No it isn't."

"You wanted to tell him, but I made you wait." She gnawed on her lower lip, feeling awful about what she had done to him. "I cost you your job, the world thinks you're a wife stealing ass… I…"

"Jude it's not important. It's just a job. And my rep has never exactly been stellar. I don't think you could have damaged it anymore than it already is." He tried to say the last part jokingly, but the frown did not lift from her pensive face.

"How can you say that? You love your job? If I hadn't…"

He pulled over to the curb and turned to her. "Jude," he said softly, framing her face with his hands, "at the end of the day, it's just a job. It doesn't make me happy, you do."

"So what do we do now?" she asked, doubt still lingering in her eyes.

"Still write." He wiggled his eyebrows, which she had just recently learned he could do and she had to laugh. "Spend a little more time in bed?"

She snorted.

"We'll be okay," he said reassuringly before pulling back out into traffic.


	32. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Jude's cell phone rang as they entered the apartment building foyer, their backs turned away from the windows, where the last of the paparazzi lingered on the street. She was just beginning to realize how persistent they could be and it still shocked her. She had never considered herself remotely well known and yet there they were, trying to get the sordid details of her life, not that she thought of them as sordid, complicated yes, but not wrong like the press implied. "Hey Dad," Jude said softly, shoulders tensing, having only half wanted to answer the call, dreading what her father might say.

"Honey are you okay?" Stuart Harrison asked, concern roughening his voice. Of all the worries he had imagined for his daughters as they grew, this was not one he had ever thought of, so far beyond the realm of normal the current situation was. It was the company receptionist that had asked him if that was his daughter, while pointing at the tabloid with Jude and Tommy's picture on the cover.

"I'm fine. Really Dad. It's been kind of crazy, but Tommy's with me and he's watching out for me," Jude reassured, giving Tommy a grateful smile as she spoke.

"I don't want you getting too upset Jude. Do you need some space…"

"No Dad. Tommy and I are good. Seriously, they'll find something else to write about." At least she hoped it would blow over quickly and some other famous person would do something noteworthy. She did not mind performing in front of crowds, but having the spotlight on her in this way, seemed intrusive and made her feel exposed and vulnerable.

"I'm glad you're alright Honey. Put Tom on."

"What?" Jude asked in genuine astonishment.

"Jude," Stuart said in that tone that brooked no argument.

She sighed and handed Tommy her phone. "He wants to talk to you."

He took the phone and didn't speak, his eyes squinting in concentration as he listened intently.

She frowned as she stared at Tommy's profile. She didn't like being kept out of whatever her father was saying to him. This whole mess wasn't Tommy's fault after all.

"Yeah Stuart. No, we're not sure who it was."

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, but Tommy shook his head when Jude asked with her eyes if they were taking it. The reception inside the metal box was not great as he had learned after living here all this time.

"I don't think so. He didn't need to wait this long. Yeah I will. You know her. She's a fighter."

Jude looked at him, trying to figure out if he really believed that, because it felt like he had been the one taking care of her all this time.

"Yeah I'll call you if anything comes up. I will." She continued to listen to the one sided conversation, only able to guess somewhat correctly what they were talking about. She was mildly frustrated, having always hated being out of the loop. This was her…and she was momentarily sidetracked at labeling Tommy. Boyfriend? Lover? Baby daddy? Okay that last one was truly horrible. He could be her fiancé right now, if she had said yes, not that he had actually asked, more like brought up getting married as casually as 'oh maybe we should go out for ice cream'. But whatever, beyond the labels, he was just-hers. And he and her father were keeping her in the dark. What the hell? She poked him in the ribs, but he merely glanced over at her, before continuing to listen to the other man.

"Really? They haven't in that long huh?" Jude was mystified, staring at him as he paused for a moment before speaking again.

"She did tell me some of it. Okay. Bye Stuart. Sure." Tommy handed her the phone with a slight grimace on his face. "He said he had something else to tell you."

Did she hear a note of apology in his tone? Jude gave him a funny look before putting the cell to her ear. "Hey what's up Dad?"

"Honey…It's your mother."

"What Dad, is she okay?" Jude had only spoken to Victoria a handful of times since she had left the country. The talk had been meaningless and superficial, Jude's initial anger ignored.

"She sounded fine. She called me asking for your phone number…" She could hear the hesitancy in his voice and frowned. "One of her friends emailed her the story in the tabloid."

"Oh…" Jude didn't have the energy to worry about her mother right then, so simply let it go, at least until she couldn't anymore.

"You haven't called her about Jamie or anything else Jude, so naturally she was a bit concerned."

"What did you tell her?"

"Just that you and Jamie were no longer together-and that you were happy, no matter what was going on in your life. So just expect her to call honey."

"Did she yell?" she asked with some humor, knowing that her mother still tried to make her father's life hell whenever she could.

Stuart cleared his throat. "You know your mother."

"Thanks for telling me dad."

"No need."

"Oh and dad-"

"Yeah?"

"I really am going to be fine."

"Good. Make sure he takes care of you."

"He does," she said softly. "Love you."

"Love you too. Good night Jude."

"Night Dad." She flipped her phone shut and put it back in her bag.

"So?" he asked when she turned her face towards him.

"You probably shouldn't answer my cell anytime soon," she said jokingly.

He smoothed her hair down and put his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay? I know you and your mom have had some issues." He reached behind her to press the button for the elevator.

She shrugged lightly. "We do. But it was her choice to not be in my life fulltime. So what I do now isn't about her."

They were brave words, but he knew her well enough to know they cost her and were more a wish for how she should feel, but not a true gauge of how she actually did. It was hard for most people to stop seeking approval from their parents, and she cared more deeply than she let on.

She gave him a penetrating glance and asked, "since when have you and my dad become buds? And what did he say to you?"

"We have an understanding." He shrugged and pulled her into the elevator as the doors opened once again. "We both realized we had at least one thing in common."

"What?" Jude put her hand on her hip and tried for a stern stare, feeling a bit foolish though, because she just never thought of herself as all that scary. She wondered if she would get that mom look down by the time their child was old enough to get into mischief.

Tommy shook his head and gave her a sheepish grin. "Don't make me say it."

Jude changed tactics in a split second, and opened her eyes a little wider instead, giving him that almost innocent pleading look, that had his heart in knots.

Tommy eased closer to her and pushed her gently against the wall, staring into her eyes. "We both love you," he said simply.

All the anxiety suddenly left her in a rush with his words. She still wasn't sure what the most important things in life were, but she knew without a doubt he was one of them, him and their baby. And the way he looked at her, made her feel safe. She gave in to the overwhelming urge to touch him, pulling his head down and pressing her lips firmly to his, her hands slipping inside his jacket to feel the warmth of his skin over his t-shirt.

* * *

The next few days could so easily have gone horribly wrong. They had never, after all, in their relatively short association spent this amount of time in one another's company without one kind of buffer or another. In the beginning they had only had brief liaisons and then when she had moved in, work had occupied much of their time. It could have gone horribly wrong, but it hadn't. It had been a learning experience of the small idiosyncrasies that made up each of them. Although they had chosen to stay in, to avoid the last of the reporters, they had not become bored. They had talked and Tommy had attempted to teach Jude how to cook a couple of simple dishes, with limited success. They ate takeout when they didn't feel like making something and caught up on recently released movies. They didn't discuss the outside world or their jobs, preferring to simply hang out and enjoy the unexpected time off. It was important to learn they could be together like this and still get along.

Jude padded into the living room, giving Tommy a quizzical look, since he had not returned to the bedroom after getting up to get her a glass of milk.

He was on the phone and his translucent blue eyes took in her mussed form dressed in one of his shirts. "It's for you," he said so somberly, she was instantly alarmed.

A frisson of unease swept through her as her mind wandered to all the possible people who could be calling her; Victoria was at the top of that list. "Hello," Jude said breathlessly, questions burning in her eyes as she stared at Tommy.

Two minutes later she said her thanks and put the phone back on its cradle.

It was his turn to study her expression, trying to anticipate her reaction.

She tried to give him a smile, but it came out a weak echo of the one she normally aimed at him and then her lip started to quiver. "It's over," she said fatalistically, over the top even for her at her most dramatic. Jude wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling cold.

Tommy had held back, waiting for her to show her feelings, but now he moved, hugging her tightly, her head resting against his shoulder.

She had thought about this day often, had foolishly thought it would only be relief she felt. But now that it was done, her brief marriage over, loss inundated her. There was regret at her own actions, because she admitted she wasn't blameless and sadness because even if there was no love at the end, she would always care about that boy next door.

He winced when hot tears seeped through his shirt, his stomach twisting at her emotional turmoil. He would never get used to her crying, it tore at him, bringing the protective streak, he had just found he had, to life with a vengeance. Tommy bent to put one arm under her knees, the other cradling her shoulders, picking up her slight weight.

She clung to him, almost unaware that they were moving into the bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed, but she would not let go of his neck when he tried to straighten, so he lay down beside her, pulling her into his arms. It felt like forever before he heard her uneven breathing calm, and he took the chance to look down at her.

"Make love to me?" She knew it sounded cheesy, but she didn't know how else to say it. To call it less would be exactly that, lessening what they were to one another.

"Jude…You're having a rough day, I don't-"

"Please Tommy. I need to know you're here."

He kissed her so those, big red rimmed eyes would not burn into his any longer. He removed their few articles of clothing and lay her down among the pillows.

"Was it this hard for you?" she asked plaintively, wanting to know she would get past this feeling. "Your divorce."

He shook his head. "I'm not like you. It took me too long to realize that other people were important too."

There was a story in that statement, but she was too mentally exhausted to pursue it in that instant. "Tommy…" she wasn't sure what to say, wanted to defend him to himself, but the choice was taken away anyway when his mouth founds hers and his hands caressed her eager skin.

* * *

The call came the following day, and he tried not to watch her as she spoke agitatedly into the phone, unable to sit still as she paced the floor. There was color in her cheeks, and she bit her lower lip, holding the receiver like a lifeline. He had suspected, but never seen how simply speaking to her mother could affect her.

"Jude you know I never approved of you getting married so young, but at least Jamie was a nice boy. This man you're involved with now…How could you get taken in by that? And how could you not tell me. My friends emailed me that horrible story…"

"Jamie and I just didn't work out," Jude explained tiredly, even knowing her mother was just getting started on her tirade and probably not hearing what she was saying anyhow. "Tommy offered me a place to stay when I needed one. He's been great."

"He's a philanderer Jude-and he's too old for you. How could you be stupid enough to get pregnant?" Victoria's voice rose over the phone line and Jude rubbed her temple in agitation, feeling a tension headache coming on.

"Mom you don't even know him. Just stop-I made a mistake, but I don't regret it. Let me handle my own problems okay?"

"You haven't exactly done a good job of it so far. Jude how could you? How could you act like your father, knowing-"

It was one thing for her mother to be concerned, that was to be expected but as Jude had feared this had turned into Victoria venting her frustrations with her former life and taking it out on her. "I took your side Mom," Jude's voice cracked. "I was the one that made Dad tell you the truth. I didn't talk to him for two years."

"You knew what he did was wrong. How-"

"Jamie cheated first!" Jude practically shouted and frustration made her adrenalin pound through her body. She barely noticed Tommy prying the phone out of her hand. It took her more than a moment to notice she was shaking.

"Mrs. Argento, Jude can't talk anymore. It's not good for her or the baby for her to be upset like this." There was a tone of steel underneath the polite words, a warning.

"Who do you think you are? I'm her mother and I would never-"

"You don't know what's going on in her life because you left your home when she was seventeen," he reminded her, already wanting to dislike this woman for shaking Jude. "You have no right to complain that she hasn't kept you updated."

"How dare you! Let me talk to my daughter now!"

"No. I'm the one here, looking out for her and our baby. This morning she woke up happy. I hope as her parent you understand that is more important than telling her what she did wrong. Goodbye Mrs. Argento."

Their eyes met and Jude could only stare at him. "You know she'll just call back." Jude sighed and shook her head. "It's like she had a personality transplant after the divorce. She didn't used to be like this…." Would she be like her mother if Tommy ever cheated? She wanted to say no, but she really didn't know. Just the idea of losing him scared her.

The easygoing manner they had been living in was gone. Although they were both still content to be together, the lightheartedness had been sucked away. The real world had intruded and they could not go back to that bubble they had placed themselves in. The problems that had caused them to go into isolation were now something they could not ignore.

Jude had been unusually quiet that day and Tommy finally asked her why. "I know talking to your mom was hard, but remember you still have your dad and Sadie," he tried to say comfortingly. He had never been good at dealing with other people's sadness, but Jude deserved that effort from him.

She waited a moment before replying, "it's not that. Mom was harsh and everything, but I kind of expected that from her. I just-I've been thinking about G-Major." She already missed working on her music, even if they could still write without going into the studio. "Tommy, who do you think ratted us out?" Her deep blue eyes were focused intently on his face and although he hadn't wanted to think too hard about it, his brain had not shut off from the problems they faced.

He shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair, not styled since they hadn't left the apartment in days. "I don't think there are that many possibilities. Your family's out, Kwest is the last person who would say anything. We barely know Malcolm…"

"Did you believe Portia when she said it wasn't her?" Jude's real question was of course, did he finally come to the conclusion that it might have been Dani.

"I don't know Jude. Portia and I-we fought for a long time, but I don't see her hurting you like this."

Jude took a deep breath and finally asked what had been in the back of her mind since this had all started. "Do you think Dani…"

He shook his head and cut her off quickly. "I don't know. I thought she cared about me." Tommy Quincy had never trusted easily, but those he let in, he had unshakable faith in.

"Tommy-She's in love with you." Jude had known the moment she saw them interact, because Dani looked at him the same way she did, with that same mixture of longing and awe.

Maybe he had known all along and turned a blind eye to it, because if he admitted it then he would lose a valuable friend. Lovers had always been easy, but finding someone who hadn't wanted something from him had been much harder.

"This might sound like I don't think you care about other people, but I know you do…Why Danielle? Why is she so important to you?"

He took a deep breath. "There're things you don't know-That you deserve to. I've been trying to find a good time, but.." He shook his head. "There's never gonna be a good time." The time had finally come and he wasn't ready, didn't think he would ever be ready. "Let's go in the bedroom."

So he hadn't shut her down, like he had occasionally done when she had asked him too personal questions, but she was apprehensive none the less. She could feel the gravity of whatever subject he was thinking about, thickening the very air.

They both settled on the new bed, backs against the pillows propped against the headboard.

He started without preamble, his eyes staring straight ahead, unseeing. "Her name was Angie-Angela Jones. Danielle was seeing her brother Hunter. He was one of the roadies on our tour and we hung out a lot. His sister visited him a couple of times and she was an aspiring singer, so she left a demo for D."

Jude blinked in surprise. She had been waiting for more information on Dani, not yet another woman.

"I thought I loved Portia when I married her. At least I really liked her and I thought she saw me. We were just kids." He gave a rueful smile. "And it really pissed Darius off to know we were together. He didn't think I was good enough for her." And in the end Darius had probably been right, he finally admitted to himself. He had hurt Portia and she hadn't deserved it anymore than all the other women's hearts he had broken.

"Then one of our backup singers got sick and Angie replaced her." He tried to sound confident, but his uncertainty leaked through. "Something about her just called to me, immediately. Pretty soon I was sneaking around, trying to spend as much time with her as I could. I made her promises."

His eyes were bleak as he turned his eyes to look into her compassionate azure gaze. "I lied to her."

Jude swallowed hard, his evident pain making her hurt for him. "How?"

"I told her I loved her and I'd always be with her, that I'd run away with her-around that time Portia found out about us and I told Portia it was just a fling." He had even bought Portia a car to appease her. "But I never stopped seeing Angie and Portia finally figured it out. She told Darius about us and he threatened to kick me out of the band."

Jude wanted to touch him, but she was afraid to, afraid he would reject any comfort she could give.

"We were on top back then Jude. The money and the fame…" He shook his head and sighed again, trying to clear his brain. "I didn't want to give it up, so when Angie wanted me to leave with her, I told her we were over. She took the keys to my Alpha and took off. It was the last time I saw her."

"What happened?"

"The car crashed and she died on impact," he said impassively and if she didn't known better she would have thought he didn't care. But she had learned that much about him, that sometimes when he cared the most, that was when he showed it the least.

When he finished his tragic tale, there was wetness clinging to her lashes for the girl who lost her life so young and for him and all the guilt he had carried inside of himself for so long. She finally understood his relationship with Danielle. She had been the one person who hadn't given up on him when he had needed someone to hold him up.

Her breath caught when he swung those translucent blue eyes at her. "I'm not the guy you think I am."

She remembered those words he had thrown at her almost casually not that long ago. He had meant them, but she didn't agree.

He was unyielding at first when she placed a hand on his arm, but she moved closer anyway, resting her other palm on his cheek, trying to get him to look into her eyes.

He shifted his head away, but she did not give up, her lips brushing against his cheek, dotted with stubble. She pressed small kisses along his stubborn jaw and then the corner of his unyielding lips. Jude closed her eyes and gave in to kissing him, trying to transmit comfort and love from that contact. She felt the moment his eyes softened underneath hers, felt his mouth pressing firmly to hers.

His fingers dug into her back, harder than was comfortable for her, but she did not complain. He pulled back and tugged her shirt over her head, baring her chest. His mouth found a peak and the tip tightened against his tongue.

Jude cradled his head against her chest, as he continued his ministrations. The small cries that escaped her lips were involuntary, but he knew how sensitive she was now and did not relent. His mouth found the other delicate mound and he paid equal attention, sucking and nibbling until she felt heat pooling low in her body.

He slid her shorts and panties down her slim legs together, before removing his own shirt and boxers. Tommy sat back against the headboard, his fingers gripping her hips, almost hard enough to leave a bruise as his lips met hers in a hard kiss. He lifted her until she straddled his thighs, one hand curving over her ass and between her legs to dip into her warmth. It was all the consideration he was capable of and he pulled her higher on his body, position himself underneath her at the perfect angle. Tommy let Jude's weight carry down the length of his shaft, until he filled her completely.

Her arms tightened around him and his hands lifted her hips, his own pushing up in shallow thrusts. Finally he looked into her eyes, even though he was afraid of what he would see in them.

But she simply looked back, nothing complicated in her dark blue orbs as she gave him a small smile. Jude pressed against him, laying her head against his shoulder as he surged into her once again. Her teeth touched his neck, as he moved within her. The coiled heat built sweetly, but she wanted more of him. It was hard in her position with her legs spread out on either side of him, to move however. "Tommy…" she whispered half in frustration and half in desire. "More. Move," she commanded in a way he found amusing, cute and sexy all at once.

His hands moved to her hips, gentler this time as he lifted her off of him. She lay on her back and he was with her again in a split second, her knees pressed against either side of his chest as he entered her swiftly, and deeply.

Jude gasped as he moved just right, sliding the length of his flesh against every one of her sensitized nerve endings, and she gripped him inside her.

"Are you close?" he asked in a raspy voice, his own breathing labored and uneven.

She nodded. "Uh huh," was all she managed. "Tommy," she cried out as the familiar sensations built almost to the breaking point.

He quickened his pace, careful to rub against her front on every hard stroke. The moment her fingers dug into his shoulders, he knew he would feel her heat clamping onto him.

Jude quivered underneath him as the spasms seized her and with his continued movement inside her body, it was almost like one pleasure echoed the next. It rolled over her, until his pace became fast, yet erratic and it was his turn to gasp out her name. He pressed her down into the mattress with his weight, and she lowered her knees to cradle his hips. He looked down at her and in that moment she could see every unguarded emotion on his face. "Don't ever leave me," he said achingly vulnerable.

"I love you," she said in return. Her fingers traced his chiseled cheekbones and the curve of his lips.

He managed to move his spent body off of her still slender one and held her in his arms.

"Can I ask you something?"

He turned his head on his pillow to look her squarely in the face. They lay facing each other now, the sweat of their bodies having become uncomfortable pressed together, after they had cooled down. "Anything."

"How much of the reason you asked me to marry you is because of the baby?" It wasn't something she asked lightly, and she prayed it didn't offend him, but she had to know.

He barely had to think about it. "How I feel about you-it has nothing to do with our baby. Don't get me wrong, I love that you're pregnant, but that's not why I love you. I told you before-We would have wound up here anyway."

She could feel the sincerity coming off him in force. All her reasons for saying no before seemed foolish and insignificant. He was 'it' for her and time wouldn't change anything that important.

And suddenly the doubt that had been her constant companion since Jamie, vanished, not hollow, but leaving behind a space waiting to be filled. She had let her head overrule her heart for too long, but in her empathy for him, all she could do was feel-Love, like she'd never felt for anyone before. She hadn't known about it, because she had never met him before now.


	33. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

How exactly had they wound up here, Jude mused as her eyes wandered around the room. There was something strangely familiar in the over the top gold and blue décor, but she couldn't place it. Last time she had been in a sedate little country room, with blue and white flowered wallpaper. She had never been in a place that so much larger than real life. And yet…

He took her hand so sweetly, their fingers intertwined in that familiar way.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, feeling the jumpiness that radiated from her small body into his own fingertips.

She shook her head firmly and gave him a soft smile. "No," she whispered, looking into his light blue eyes. She thought she would be scared, anxious, at least, but she didn't feel anything like that. Being here-with him-simply felt right. It was still kind of funny to think of how easily they had gotten here. Well kind of…

She still wasn't sure where she had gotten the nerve from.

_He waited for her to say something, sensing she was putting that twisty brain of hers to work and was ready for her to throw another zinger of a question at him. She could be so blunt at times, it was plain scary, simply because he had promised to be honest with her. It wasn't always easy, but it meant something. Not that she asked too many questions of him, in fact that was one of the things he loved about her, that ability to accept him as he was._

_Instead she kissed his cheek softly. "Well I guess we have some free time now. When was the last time you went on vacation?"_

_He shrugged, starting to get used to her sudden changes of topic, still trying to read her face. "It's been a while." His lips curved into an unwilling smile. "What did you have in mind? Wanna kick around Montreal?" The idea of showing her around the city was appealing. She had told him once she had never been. Maybe they could get away from all this drama, at least for a little while._

_"Mm I was thinking something a little further from home."_

_He quirked an eyebrow, even as he pulled her more tightly to his side._

_"I know it's totally cliché, but…" Her eyes lifted to meet his. "How does Vegas sound?" She bit her lip nervously, waiting…_

_He searched her bright blue orbs for the joke, but seemed to be satisfied with what he found. "You're serious…"_

_She nodded emphatically, her lips parting in surprise when he slipped out of bed. "What are you doing?" She frowned as he threw on his boxers, giving her a muffled 'be right back' before walking out of the room. Had he changed his mind? And he didn't know how to tell her? Maybe he hadn't really meant it to begin with and she had made a mistake in believing he had._

_Jude was about to get up herself, feeling vulnerable lying there naked in body and emotions also stripped bare, when he reentered their bedroom._

_Something in his eyes made her immobile as he moved to stand beside her prone form. He knelt down so that their faces were level. His hand went out to cup her cheek as he whispered against her lips, "I love you." And then he took her mouth in one of those kisses, that conveyed what he felt, what they both felt, perfectly._

_Jude felt his opposite shoulder shift, even lost as she was in the way their mouths melded together. Something slightly cold touched her belly and he pulled his head away. She followed his gaze down the length of her body, to where a silver colored loop glinted on her stomach. Tiny prisms of colored light danced along her bare skin and her breath caught._

_"There is nothing I want more-than you." She met his eyes as he spoke again. "Marry me." He made it a question and she nodded wordlessly as he took the fingers of her left hand in his and she felt, more than saw the slide of cool metal fit onto her finger._

_Jude raised her arm and stared at the large diamond solitaire that now rested against her skin. Tears brimmed over as she pulled his head to her, both of them tasting the salty wetness that now signaled happiness._

_Jude knew it bothered him when she cried, but she couldn't stop the tears-because now she knew that he had meant it when he suggested they get married. It had seemed so random to her at the time and she had shot him down, knowing her refusal had hurt him. And yet he had gone out and bought an engagement ring anyway._

_He climbed back into bed with her, holding on tightly, unable to hide an overwhelmed smile aimed only for her._

_Jude started to giggle and Tommy could only look at her, bemused. "What's so funny?"_

_"I'm not sure what to say when Sadie asks how this happened." She looked at her naked self and then her gaze skimmed over his mostly nude one. She knew without a doubt her sister would want all the details, having always dreamed of every aspect of her own engagement and wedding. Sadie had been one of those girls, in love with the idea of getting married, maybe more than marriage itself._

_That grin that still made her heart race crossed his features. "You could tell her I kept you tied up until you said yes." He scanned her body slowly, making her fair skin flush all over._

_"I think the fact I'm naked every time we talk about getting married will shock her enough," Jude said wryly, wrinkling her brow, until his unapologetic look made her laugh._

_"Maybe I like keeping you naked," he growled against her ear, before nipping gently at the sensitive lobe._

Sixteen hours ago, they had been in another country, hiding from the invasive parasites known as the Press. A weight had been lifted the moment they had cleared the airspace of Toronto Pearson International. They had talked on the plane, to the bemusement of the stewardess that was assigned to the first class portion of the aircraft. Her home base was Canada, so she knew immediately who this couple was when they entered the plane. She could also tell all the tabloids attempts to paint their relationship as sordid or as a publicity stunt were utterly wrong. Because although the woman seemed to stay close to the man, he more often than not pulled her even closer into his arms. They were discussing their elopement quietly, heads bent together as lovers tended to do.

He had asked if she had been sure she wanted to do this and skip the wedding all women were supposed to want. She had told him about the simple ceremony she had had before. This could just be the vacation she had mentioned, but she had shaken her head and given him a smile that settled his questions. She knew him, she said and she told him she didn't want a big wedding anymore than he did. It had never been her dream to plan an event like that. She only wanted him, to be with him, to belong.

"I should call my dad," Jude said suddenly, slightly too loudly, as she straightened in her seat, as if having an epiphany. It was just-she hadn't been thinking of anyone but Tommy-and herself-and them together. But now she realized, her dad would be hurt if she didn't call him and tell him what they were about to do. Sadie would probably think it was romantic, even if she would be peeved that they hadn't invited her. Her sister however, could be bribed into a better mood, especially with something at one of those exclusive boutiques in the casino/hotel where they were staying.

Jude glanced around a little frantically, wondering which couples that sat on the benches around them had gotten here before them. On the wall was a discreet gold sign, saying 'Please Silence All Cell Phones.' Her eyes darted to the entrance and she stood up suddenly. "I'll be right back." She kissed him on the cheek distractedly as she flipped open her cell phone while walking out of the room.

Tommy couldn't say he was completely comfortable with her leaving him here for any length of time. But if he didn't trust her enough for this small thing, then what kind of future could they possibly have? Because when it came down to it, until the deed was done he couldn't be completely sure she loved him enough. And he knew those were his own issues talking too, but she had also had a rough time of it. Would she run after getting all the way to this point?

He couldn't hide his relief when she came back a few minutes later, high color staining her cheeks, eyes sparkling in the dim lighting.

"Did you miss me?" she asked as she slid into the seat beside him.

"More than you know."

He didn't know what she saw in his face, but her hands came up to cradle his cheeks and she kissed him deeply, until his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly.

Soon their name was called and they entered the intimate chapel, adjacent to the waiting room. The minister, Reverend Joseph Miles, was on the short side for a man, but his posture made him seem taller and his brown eyes seemed kind. He gave them a genuine smile and asked them some basic questions, making sure he had the right information. His eyes widened a little in recognition at the mention of Tommy's name, but he did not comment. He asked if they had vows of their own, some couples did, but they shook their heads in unison. Because their words weren't necessary, not now when what they wanted was completely in tune.

"Ready to do this?" he asked in that typically casual manner of his.

It had been she, that had almost mistaken that surface nonchalance as his not caring before, but now she knew better. Jude still had a lot to learn about Tommy Quincy, would probably never learn all there was to know, but she thought she wanted to find out everything she could. Jude nodded, tilting her head up at him. "Yeah."

There ceremony was brief, and the standard words uttered once again in the small room. Doubt had been left at the door so it was easy, and simple, even if their strong 'I do's' echoed off the high ceiling.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now…" The minister grinned to his own wife, Annie, who also served as one of the witnesses, as his words faded. It was these couples he enjoyed the most, the ones who were so eager to start their new lives, they did not even let him finish the sentence before their mouths met eagerly. The older couple waited patiently for them to disentangle before shaking their hands and giving them their best wishes.

Adam, their son, in-house photographer and second witness took a few candid pictures before the new blonde haired bride gave him a dazzling smile. "In a few days you should look up a number for the Canadian paparazzi," Jude suggested slyly. The idea was not as crazy as it sounded, it was about control this time around; Jude and Tommy had discussed it. This was not going to be some secret they were going to hide as if they were ashamed and have blow up on them without warning. So what if this nice family benefited from it?

"Give one of them an exclusive, the pay off will probably be better," Tommy added, as he wrapped an arm around Jude's waist. They made their way out of the chapel, to give room to the next couple in line.

"So what do you want to do now Mrs. Quincy? Dinner and a show?" He nuzzled her hair as they walked across the parking lot to the Ferrari he had rented. It was Las Vegas after all, with some of the most flamboyant entertainment available, not to mention some of the best gourmet food.

Jude turned her head up and whispered against his ear, "I think we should order dinner in."

* * *

"I'm really not that hungry yet," Jude admitted with an enticing sparkle in her big sapphire eyes, her fingers already teasing open the buttons of his shirt. Uncharacteristically, she didn't even care that they were still out in the hallway, visible to anyone who walked by. She laughed when he picked her up quickly and half spun, half pushed his way into the suite.

Tommy kicked the door shut behind them, almost overbalancing with her weight in his arms.

Jude shrieked with laughter as he managed to get to the couch before dropping her gently onto the padded surface. "Am I really that heavy?" she pouted.

"Phht you barely weigh anything," he said as he knelt down in front of her on the couch. "Actually I think we need to fatten you up." He could still barely tell she was pregnant, and for some reason he wanted to pronounce it to the world himself. When had he ever gotten so possessive? Of course the choice had been taken from him, since someone had already done that for them and he would never thank him for it. It still weighed on his mind, no matter how much he wanted to let it go, the question of who had tipped off the media.

"Will you love me when I'm fat?" she asked playfully, her hand resting on her barely there bump. She was only partially joking, her father having told her how her mother had looked huge practically overnight. Tommy had always had his pick of the most attractive women available. Would he look at her differently as her body really began to change?

"Every inch," he said huskily, those pale eyes intent on her, with that look he only ever aimed at her.

Jude felt herself melting at the mere idea of his lips tasting her. He was rather good at that.

His hands rested on her calves, at the hem of her simply ivory silk dress. They slid higher by slow degrees, pushing the material high up her legs as his mouth took hers. His hands caressed her, pads of his thumbs smoothing along her soft inner thighs as his hands spread her legs wider. Her dress was now pushed up to her waist, revealing the tiny ivory satin g-string that barely covered any of the cleft between her legs.

Tommy had to close his eyes for a moment, to breathe in a modicum of control, inhaling the light scent of her perfume and the muskiness of her arousal instead. He looked up sharply into her eyes, already darkened with desire. "Jude I can't…"

"Don't," she whispered huskily, understanding clear in her gaze.

"I promise next time," he groaned, even as his hands slid her panties down her silky legs. He fumbled at his pants, swearing at his suddenly inept fingers. Finally he freed the button and pulled them down with his boxers in one motion.

It was so strange how their marriage had become this immediate reality in his mind and all he could feel was that she belonged to him and that he needed to stamp that into her very being. He literally had to, _needed _to possess her. What had she done to him? Drugged him when he hadn't been paying attention?

He settled above her, between her thighs and his mouth found hers in a ravenous kiss. He felt her long slender fingers wrap around his width, guiding his tip into her beckoning heat. And just like that he was inside her, enveloped in the moist depths, groaning against her plump lips, pulling out so he could thrust in again. That slide of flesh against, clinging flesh, so good, and his pace fast, his strokes deep.

His hand moved between their joined bodies, finding that aching nub among her folds, and rubbed as he continued to move within her.

Jude clenched her inner muscles around him, his touch almost too good against her sensitized skin. She raised one leg to hook high around his waist, changing the angle, drawing him in deeper, even as his fingers caused her to moan.

"Come for me Baby," he breathed as he stared, unseeing into her flushed face.

Jude shook her head, brushing against his shoulder. "Not until you do."

He could have taken it as a challenge. Knowing her hormones were practically uncontrollable these days, he also knew he would win any test of endurance. But this was not some contest, not some power play and they weren't adversaries.

"You're ready to, aren't you?" His breath tickled her ear, before his teeth nipped lightly at her lobe.

"Yes," she uttered almost like a curse, squeezing him tight within her body, raising her hips to meet his. "Tommy…" Her short nails dug into the back of his neck as she fought to hold on.

The building pleasure, stole his ability to speak, his body moving instinctively, driven to reach its goal. And his brain shut off completely the moment he felt that strong convulsion of her wrapping around him. Her taut body squeezed around him, and he felt the release rushing through him.

He gave her a boyish grin, as he stared down into her flushed face. "You know I planned on taking you to bed and stripping you slowly." His eyes traveled down her now bunched and wrinkled dress, creamy thighs exposed. This time should have had a special meaning, but it had wound up rushed and heated.

"It's not like we have any other plans tonight." She reached out to stroke his cheek. "You have plenty of time to show me what you want to do," she commented impishly.

It eased his mind that she had no such concerns. She was looking on to the rest of their lives, not dwelling on this night as the important part. He turned his head to brush his lips across her fingers. "Why don't you draw yourself a bath and I'll order us some room service."

Jude nodded and sat up, smoothing down her skirt in a mockingly ladylike gesture, as if she did not need to wash him off her body.

"Hey," he caught her arm before she could walk away, "did I remember to tell you I'm happy we did this?"

"Had sex?" she asked innocently, even as her lips twitched. She pulled away, not managing to avoid the swat he gave to her butt, her laughter making him smile. Jude turned half way across the room and looked back at him. "It would have happened eventually."

Her head rested on his chest, their legs tangled among the Egyptian cotton sheets. The pad of her finger traced the small crescent moon and star tattoo that rested on his finger, as she was wont to do in similar moments to this one. He had asked her once, why she liked to do that and she told him she liked the image, the permanence of it.

It was a little ritual that somehow relaxed him, reminding him always of the lassitude brought on by the afterglow of sex that only happened with her. If she knew how much he liked it, would she ever use it against him? An idea came to him then. They had bought matching platinum wedding bands at the hotel before they had gone to the chapel, but somehow he wanted something even more indelible to tell her what she meant to him, would always mean to him, what being married to her meant to him. He told her his idea and waited impatiently for her response.

Her lips curved up in a brilliant smile. "I love it."

"What do you think it should be?"

Jude pondered for a few minutes before she took Tommy's hand and turned it to reveal his palm. She traced a simple symbol onto its surface and looked at him expectantly.

Two intertwining loops. He wrinkled his brow and looked at her questioningly. "An eight?"

She shook her head and traced the loops again. "Sideways-Infinity." _Nonstop. Forever._

It drove it home yet again, that of all the women he had ever met, this one got him the most. It was almost like she could sometimes read his mind, but instead of scaring him, he thought it was reassuring to know someone actually understood him.

* * *

They were waiting outside the restaurant they had eaten dinner at, for the car to be brought around from the valet when his phone beeped to signal a text. He took it out of his suit jacket pocket and read the text, an unfathomable expression falling over his face.

"What's up?" she asked, peering by his side, but unable to see the screen clearly from her angle.

"It's Dani, she uh wants to have dinner in a couple days-with both of us."

"What do you want to do?"

"It's time to find out the truth," he stated baldly, no hint of how the answers might affect him personally.


	34. Chapter 31

o;****

**Chapter 31**

He turned to face her, and felt almost overwhelmed, the fact that she had married him hitting him all over again. "We'll get a flight out in two days. I've got plans for us tomorrow." He wrapped his arms loosely around her middle.

"What are we doing?" she cocked her head at an angle to glance up at him. She couldn't hide the tenseness of her body at the mention of the other woman. No matter what, Dani was an important part of his life. And it did not seem like Dani wanted to share.

"Taking a trip into the desert."

"Why are we doing that?" She couldn't imagine what they would find in the barren landscape.

"Because I know what one of your favorite movies is."

Jude stared at her new husband in surprise, not that he knew one of her favorite movies was Eddie and the Cruisers II, but that he knew which part of the movie intrigued her the most.

It was a scene between the veteran of the music world, the main character Eddie, and the eager young guitarist Rick. Eddie tried to explain the word 'intense' when it came to music after Rick had played a flashy guitar rift with little substance. Eddie used his experience in the desert as an example to try to explain what it meant to make memorable music. In the stark landscape, he had found something worthwhile to listen to. Jim Morrison had also liked the desert, not that Jude planned on taking any mind altering drugs to experience quite like he did.

"Do you think it's true?" she asked him, having missed creating music more than she realized.

"We'll see," he said placidly, making her give him a considering look. He did that a lot these days, stared as if trying to figure her out. There was not one part of her he did not yearn to hold onto with everything he was.

She glanced up at him. "Tommy, do you think he'll let us back into the studio soon?"

"If he has the right incentive," he replied quickly, his history with their boss giving him insight. He knew how Darius thought and he wondered if there was a way to beat him at his own game, because their suspensions were Darius's way of controlling them and reminding them who was in power. Unfortunately Jude was not yet a star and even thought Tommy knew it had to be hurting G-major to lose a fulltime producer right now, Darius would take the loss to prove his point. But Jude deserved better; she deserved the chance to finish her album and be heard.

* * *

The flight back to Canada was not nearly as anticipated as the one out of the country had been, simply because they knew there were things that needed to be settled. And as if their baby sensed Jude's mood, he seemed to enjoy pressing on her bladder and causing a steady need to visit the lavatory, At least she blamed the baby and not the multiple cups of apple juice she had grown a sudden obsession with. It would have been funny to Tommy, _if _she hadn't also insisted on sitting in the window seat, therefore having to get past him every time she got up, in the process stepping on his toes-more than once,-and lost her balance once when there was turbulence, her hand going out to steady herself and almost crushing a very important part of his anatomy. He had never been so glad to touch land in his life.

Their time in the desert had given Jude a new perspective, but perversely enough made her want to create music even more than before. They had screamed out their frustrations and later screamed out for other reasons, alone out in the blinding sands. And finally they had listened to the quiet, wrapped around one another, so close it was unclear where one of them ended and the other began.

Jude had, per usual forgotten to charge her cell phone before the trip and had been down to the last bar at the airport on the way to Vegas. So it was the first thing she did as she unlocked the apartment, leaving her husband dragging in their small amount of luggage and larger amount of shopping.

There were twenty messages in her voicemail, some from her sister, from her father asking how everything had gone, a couple from friends and five from one unexpected person. Vincent Spiederman and she had never gotten close. They had hung out, but always with Jamie around. She only glanced up briefly when Tommy dropped their bags on the bed, before calling Spied back.

"Hey Vin, it's Jude. What happened with Jamie?" she asked immediately, not giving him a chance to say anything, but 'Yeah'. She heard him sigh and frowned, feeling defensive, reminded of their last conversation.

"He's in the hospital."

Jude sat up from the bed immediately, gripping the phone tightly, her heart pounding. "What? Why? What happened? Is he okay?" she asked a little frantically.

"Calm down. He's okay. He's banged up, has a broken arm and a couple of cracked ribs."

Jude sat down again, suddenly deflated. "What happened?" she whispered, sensing she wouldn't like the answer.

"After he saw you again, and even before-He was drinking some. He wasn't drunk all the time or anything. I figured he was just trying to deal."

Jude sucked in a breath, the information so at odds with the boy she had known practically her whole life. Jamie Andrews had never been a partier, neither of them had.

"But then he saw that magazine article and I guess he went off the deep end. He was driving the other night and hit a barrier. It could have been worse-His car was totaled Jude. He got a drunk driving charge too," Spied continued reluctantly.

"But he's okay?" She put her hand to her forehead, resting her thumb against her temple.

"Yeah Jude. I just…I'm pretty sure he wants to see you."

"Where is he?" she asked quickly, making Spied think better of her. He gave her the pertinent information and she thanked him for calling her.

When she was done with the brief conversation, she found him in the living room, her teeth gnawing at her lower lip.

His feet had been resting on the coffee table, but at the serious expression on her face, he swung them off and sat up quickly. Tommy gave her a puzzled look when she continued not to speak, even though he could see that she wanted to in her eyes.

She started with something that made him blink, wondering if he had heard her right. "Spiederman called me a bunch of times."

He raised an eyebrow at her, only wondering briefly why Spied would call her. They weren't close after all. "And?"

She told him everything Spied had said and ended with, "I think I'm gonna stop by the hospital tomorrow."

"I thought you wanted to grab Sadie and Kwest for lunch to tell them…" They weren't exactly the supportive words she had hoped for.

"I can do both. It's not like it would take that long. I just want to make sure he's alright," she said lightly, trying to diffuse the vibes of displeasure he was obviously giving off since the moment she had mentioned Jamie's name. "What, you don't think I should go?"

"I just don't think you should go running to him every time he wants you to."

Jude stared at him in mild disbelief. "You mean like how we rushed back from Vegas because Dani wanted to go out to dinner?" she shot back.

"You know why I need to see Dani," he said through gritted teeth.

They glared at one another, for the first time with a genuine edge to their mutual anger .

Jude shook her head and stared at him in incomprehension, not knowing why he was being so difficult about this, but she knew this was no way to start their marriage. She threw her arms up in the air in defeat. "Fine, I won't go," she said derisively. Why was he being so unreasonable, she didn't have the patience to understand. After the long flight they were both tired and it just didn't seem worth it to fight over this. Spied had said Jamie was okay. He didn't really need her there, she told herself.

He rolled his eyes at her. "Do what you want," he threw out with a bite to his tone.

"Tommy tell me what the problem is," she wailed in frustration.

"There's no problem," he replied in that toneless way she had hated so much when they had been fighting. "I'm going to go change." He walked away, towards the bedroom leaving her staring holes into his back.

Tommy never reemerged from the bedroom and Jude had sat on the couch for a longtime before she finally decided to get up. It wasn't like she had done something wrong. He knew Jamie had been a big part of her life; she had always been honest about that. Flickers of anger still licked at her when she thought about his unreasonableness. Jamie was in the hospital for goodness sakes! She couldn't just forget about him because they were now divorced.

She had just opened the front door when he came out again, his hand going past her to shut it. "You don't get to do that," he said in a low, hoarse voice.

"What?" she asked in confusion, staring into his pale eyes.

"You don't get to just walk out-not anymore." He raised his left hand, showing off the silver band and the black tattoo design peeking out underneath.

"Tommy…" she started, after glancing at his finger abstractedly before focusing back on his face, but he cut her off. His left hand reached to tangle in her hair, his other arm snaked around her waist to pull her closer. his mouth devoured hers before she could blink or react in any way. She made a small noise against his lips, but didn't struggle against his hold, her hands gripping his shirt tightly.

He lifted his head and rested his forehead against hers, their lips still achingly close. "Go see him tomorrow. I'm going with you though."

"Tommy, I wasn't going anywhere," she stated reassuringly. He had always tried to appear so strong, as if nothing could faze him, but it hit her all over again how insecure he could be, especially when it came to things that mattered to him.

He pulled back to stare into her eyes, skepticism heavy in his blur orbs.

"Don't you get it Quincy? You're stuck with us-I was only going downstairs to get the mail." She tried to hide the twitch of her lips, but his abashed look was too much for her and she let out a laugh.

He smiled reluctantly, having never been good at laughing at himself.

She looked up into those icy blue eyes and he could see how hers softened. "I love you," she whispered.

* * *

They walked hand in hand through the antiseptic smelling hallway, neither of them inclined to talk much. It was the first time Jude would see Jamie since the divorce and although Spied had said Jamie wanted to see her, she was doubtful of her reception.

"I'll wait for you here," Tommy said as they stopped in front of an open waiting area. He leaned down and kissed her temple before letting go of her hand.

Jude continued down towards the nurses station alone, glancing at the room numbers as she went.

"Jude," Jamie said when he saw her standing hesitantly in the doorway.

She let out a breath she had not known she was holding, not hearing the expected anger in his voice. "Hey James." She gave him a small smile as she entered the room fully. "I would have gotten you flowers, but…" she shrugged helplessly, having thought the gesture might be hypocritical.

"You know I'm allergic," he said a little smugly.

She tried not to roll her eyes, as her thoughts strayed to all the random allergies he suffered from. Some nights he had kept her up with his sneezing. "Yeah."

He gestured towards the chair beside his bed and she perched on it, her eyes wandering back to him. She studied him, taking in the cast on his arm, the bandages on his ribs and the bruises under his eyes. He was wearing his glasses again and looked exactly like who she had always known. "God Jamie, what happened?" she blurted out.

He shook his head. "I missed you Jude." And he blinked as if realizing that he was still assigning blame, trying to make her feel guilty, when she didn't deserve it. He had just started to realize how his jealousy had colored everything and it wasn't simply when other people or her music, had taken her attention from him. Now it was that she had found happiness, and he was still searching, not knowing what would be enough. It was the kind of happiness that shone from her eyes, satisfaction, contentment. She had never looked that way with him. Why of all the mother loving men did it have to be Tommy Q though? A frickin ex-boybander!

"Excuse me?" she said in an offended voice. It was instinctive to defend Tommy and no matter how much she had worried about Jamie, she wasn't going to take that from him.

Shit, had he said that out loud? He shook his head again. "Nothing, just thinking out loud. How'd we end up here Jude?" Things had been spiraling out of control since the moment he had cheated on her.

"I'm not sure Jamie. But-," she paused, "were we happy?" She genuinely wasn't sure anymore if they had been. "You were looking for it…" she trailed off, glad he had never told her who the girl was, that had replaced her at least for one night.

"I wanted to matter-to someone." Since when had he become so insecure?

"You did Jamie." Her blue eyes stared at him in surprise. "You always will. We weren't right together."

He gave a self-derisive snort. "Funny. I thought we were. You were all, that I wanted. But there was always this part of you I couldn't touch."

"Jamie…" Old guilt welled up in her and she found herself feeling helpless.

He shook his head and stared at her with those serious eyes. "I'm sorry. It's not your fault that I wanted too much. It's over now anyway." He shrugged resignedly, not wanting to stare at her beautiful face. "Thanks for coming by Jude. I would have got it if you didn't want to see me." He gave her a familiar lopsided grin.

"Anytime Jamers."

He smiled briefly at the old nickname. "Do you mean that?" It reminded him of why he had always loved her, that generous heart she had always seemed unaware of. He was lucky that she never held a grudge against anyone. Did Tommy Quincy really get how amazing she was? Because he had slipped up and forgotten.

Although there was hurt there still, on both their parts she nodded. She had never wanted to hate him. It wasn't in her to hold onto anger like that.

"I gotta admit, seeing the tabloids wasn't easy."

A twinge of guilt made her sigh. She would have hated it too if she had been in his place. "I'm sorry Jamie. I would've warned you, but I didn't know it was going to happen ."

"I'm surprised he let you come here alone," Jamie commented, recalling the few reporters that had wanted to speak to him and knowing must have been ten times worse for Jude, who's name they at least knew.

Jude had the grace to look embarrassed and she ducked her head a little, her cheeks warming. "He's in the waiting area."

"Figures," he muttered, that anger sliding through him again at the thought that someone else lay claim to the girl he once loved completely.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She hated that this, being around him, wasn't as easy as it used to be.

He shook his head. "Nothing. He seems to care about you, that's all." He met her eyes and changed the subject. "You know I got a bunch of calls from reporters after that story came out-but there was one woman who called before. I guess she must have been the one writing the article?" He wasn't sure why this would be important, but there had been something off about the whole thing.

She cleared her throat and stared at him more intently than the statement warranted. "Did she say her name?"

"Dana something…It seemed like she already knew a lot of stuff-Like it didn't look like you were going back to school."

Of course her mind would jump to one woman, but she still couldn't prove anything and she didn't think telling Tommy would make things better. "Thanks for mentioning it."

Jamie adjusted his p0sition on his bed as best as he could, hampered by the dressings and cast. He was still hurting a bit and hoped the nurse would come soon with his next dose of intravenous pain killers.

It was time to go and she knew she had to tell him before she left. She wasn't going to let him get blindsided again. "There's something I need to tell you."

"About that rock on your finger?" He had always been observant, at least about her.

She glanced down involuntarily at the sparkly stone that should have weighed her hand down, but did not and nodded, biting her lip. She hadn't even thought about removing her rings, strangely already used to the weight. "It felt like the right thing to do." How could he possibly understand, when she was still processing herself. She had never actually expected to get married more than once in her life and especially not mere minutes after divorcing her first husband at the age of barely twenty. She hadn't even been able to gamble or legally drink in Las Vegas although she had had half a glass of champagne that Tommy had ordered from room service their wedding night, she thought irreverently.

"Well the tabloids are going to love that," he said lamely, trying to make a joke out of it, even though it hurt.

"Yeah, they really are like vultures. I always kind of thought all those celebrities exaggerated how much harassment they got from the paparazzi to get more attention."

"Now you're on your way to being one of 'em," he noted without malice.

"Maybe." Jude shrugged, her career still very much up in the air, although Tommy seemed to be formulating some kind of plan. "Look I should get going. We're taking Sadie out for lunch to tell her the news. Take care of yourself." Jude stood up and grinned at him a little awkwardly, one last time. This was what closure was supposed to feel like, something a meaningless piece of paper had been unable to give her. She heard him speak again as she reached the doorway to the room.

"I'd take it all back if I could." And there was just that cloying edge of despair in his voice that made her understand how he had wound up here. What if he had confessed and she hadn't met Tommy? Would they have tried to cling to their relationship? Would she have fought harder to hold on?

She didn't say anything, just shook her head and gave him a sad smile before turning her head back to the door. She didn't have the right words for him, because she didn't think she would have wanted to even if she could, even if she did carry regrets. Because meeting Tommy Quincy was one of those epic moments that wasn't supposed to occur in real life, and knowing him had changed her in so many ways. And if Jamie hadn't done what he had, then where would they be now? Where would she be?

He stood from one of the waiting areas' plastic seats when he saw her, linking his fingers with hers quietly.

"You think we would have met later on if I was working at Fearless?" She had never thought much about destiny or fate, but she had to wonder after seeing Jamie. Even before that bar, she had almost met Tommy years ago when she had been on Instant Star. Would they have been thrown together anyway, even if she were working for a different label? It seemed likely. But would it have been different if she and Jamie had still been happy? She stared at his profile, overwhelmed by how this man got to her. Would Jamie have been an obstacle to that indefinable pull she had felt towards Tommy the moment they had met?

"Definitely." This time it was true confidence in his voice and not the regular feigned cockiness he showed to the world.

She turned her head a fraction to give him a brief, warm smile as they continued walking towards the exit.

"How'd it go?" he asked, more curious than he let show in his voice.

"Good," she said softly. "Really," she continued more firmly. Maybe she and Jamie would never be friends again, but maybe part of being an adult was realizing and accepting that people changed and relationships could grow apart. Maybe some people touched your life when you needed them most.

They stopped in front of the elevators and waited for the doors to open.

"So no more random calls to see him?" he tried to sound nonchalant.

"Were you jealous? Is that why you didn't want me to see Jamie?" she said teasingly, a smile tugging at her lips as she saw last night in a different light. The fight that had worried her, didn't seem so bad if that were true.

"Jealous?" he scoffed, a little too quickly. "Of him? No…" he said, not so convincingly, his eyes unable to meet hers. As if that pencil neck could possibly compete with him.

Jude laughed and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Too bad-I was thinking it was kind of sexy."


	35. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two**

"Babe you almost ready?" he asked as he headed into the bedroom. It was five minutes past eight and they were supposed to meet Dani for dinner at eight thirty. The sight that greeted him was of her in a satin black bra and panty set, that made his mouth go dry. Her skin was luminescent in the soft light of the room, and a feeling of rightness almost overwhelmed him. An old Eric Clapton song entered his head as he looked at his wife. The lyrics were simple, but evoked emotion, and that was what made it such a classic. It was the feeling of having someone to go home with at the end of the night. He had never realized, until her, that that was important to him.

_ It's late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear_  
_ She puts on her makeup, and brushes her long blonde hair_

She frowned into the mirror at his reflection, her clothes strewn haphazardly on their bed and a few articles were also scattered on the floor. "I don't have anything to wear," she complained, her hands reaching out to search through the hangers once again. It hadn't really been apparent to either of them that she was putting on weight, both of them were living in the situation so they could not see the minute changes every day brought. It was apparent now however, that some of her clothes were starting to feel and look a little tight. And she had never had that many dressy items to begin with. Everything she had been required to wear lately for work had come out of G-Major's wardrobe.  
"Since when do you care about your clothes?" he asked less than diplomatically, earning a scowl from her.  
"Tonight's not exactly a normal night," she muttered. She didn't want to look like a mess around the stylish Dani, and there were roles she and Tommy had to play. She needed the reinforced confidence of at least looking decent to slip into her part, especially since she was normally a terrible liar. In 4th grade she had even been cast as a rock in the school play, so that she had no lines to flub up. Sadie had laughed at her even after the play had been over for weeks; Sadie who had done the very same play two years before and been cast as the lead. Jude wondered how she had survived adolescence without doing permanent injury to her sister.  
Tommy walked over to his side of the closet and slid it open, pulling a black dress off the rod. "How about this?" He held it out to her for inspection.  
She gave him a skeptical look, staring at the elegant creation that had cost more than she had ever spent on clothing, that they had chosen together during their time in Las Vegas. "Don't you think it's too much?" Jude was ill at ease in fancy clothes, not used to being noticed in that way, not wearing them like a second skin like some woman did, like Dani did. That thought decided her on trying it on at least.  
Tommy walked over to his dresser to retrieve his wallet, giving her space to put the dress on. He opened the laptop on the desk and fiddled with the mouse, looking for something. He turned at the sound of her voice and took in the lovely vision before him.  
"Do I look alright?" she asked hesitantly, even though secretly she loved how the high cut waist hid the gentle swell of her belly. Tonight was not a night to remind anyone of the rumors of her pregnancy.  
The skirt was cut above her knees, showing enough of her long legs to catch his attention. The dark color brought out the glow in her creamy skin, and a slow appreciative smile curved his lips even as he had to chuckle.  
"What?" Jude asked in mild alarm, her hand going involuntarily to her hair. "It fits, doesn't it?" she said worriedly, wondering if she was starting to look different, having always had the advantage of a good metabolism and youth on her side.  
His hand slipped back to the computer and he clicked the mouse, before walking to her. The opening refrain from the song he had on his mind, started.  
She took the hand he held out and he pulled her close, pressing their bodies flush against one another.  
He stared down at her, warmth shining from his eyes. "I wasn't laughing at you. I just had this song in my head when I saw you in here," he admitted.

She gave a small laugh too, knowing the lyrics that were coming up would be a repeat of what she had just asked.

_ And she asked me, "do I look alright?"_  
_ I said "yes, you look wonderful tonight."_

"Do I?" she grinned up at him, feeling impossibly warm under his intense gaze.  
"Yes," he answered without making a witty comeback, simply holding her a little tighter.  
Jude found herself swaying to the music with him, and rested her head on his shoulder.  
"I never-even considered I would have this with anyone," he said seriously, honestly against her soft hair. He never knew the magnitude of what Eric Clapton really sang about with this decceptively simple song until now.  
He was in a funny mood, kind of sappy if she had to be honest, but she liked it nonetheless. Jude sniffled, burying her face into his neck, where she inhaled his cologne. She felt the grumble vibrate from his chest, pressed just that close.  
"Please tell me you're not crying," he begged helplessly, knowing her tears always reduced him to the consistency of Jello, feeling the betraying wetness on his skin.  
Jude fought valiantly to bring herself under control, giving one final sniff and stared up to find his, her eyes watery. She didn't comment, not wanting to dent his ego, knowing he only trusted her enough to be wide open like this.  
"Whatever happens tonight, don't read too much into it," he reminded her, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. "I love you."  
"I love you too." She didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing it from him or tell him the same. "So-If Dani gets you alone and tries something…" she said it lightly, but the thought actually did bother her. They had slept together before on occasion and Dani had been one of the constants of his life.  
"Then it's your job to save me."  
"But I thought you wanted the truth."  
He arched an eyebrow. "And you'll sacrifice me to get answers?"  
"Uh no," she said firmly. Mine, she thought. Even if they found out Dani wasn't guilty of leaking their story, Jude was sure the other woman was in love with her husband and she wasn't sure where they would go after tonight, but she couldn't honestly say it wouldn't bother her if they still remained so close. She raised her arms to circle his neck and pulled his head down to meet her mouth. When she finally disentangled herself from his grasp, she was proud to see him look a little flustered.

And then I tell her  
As I turn out the light  
I say my darling, you were wonderful tonight  
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight

"Tease," he complained softly before releasing her reluctantly, as the last notes of the song faded into the room.  
A smile played on her lips as she walked into the adjoining bathroom, humming the melody, to check her makeup.

* * *

There was a play going on that the couple that had already arrived did not see, occurring in the front of the exclusive Japanese restaurant where they were to meet that night.  
They stood on the curb for a moment as the valet drove the Porsche away, their hands brushing lightly, fingers playing. They had made it, only late by about ten minutes, not that they would have wanted to be the first ones there anyway.  
"Remember you're pissed at me."  
She turned her head to stare back at him, guilelessness shining from her eyes. She wasn't good at this, pretending emotions she did not feel. And he looked particularly sexy tonight in his custom tailored sports jacket and pants. It was hard not to feel tingly knowing he was going home with her at the end of the night.  
"Pretend I ate the last package of Pop Tarts," he said teasingly, having always found her addiction to those things secretly amusing.  
Jude frowned automatically, having become a bit territorial about her food these days.  
Tommy sniggered because she looked so cute in that moment. "And no ordering sushi," he added, getting another frown from her.  
She knew very well the OB/GYN had said raw fish was one of the foods she should stay way from, but she found it a tad bit easier to fall into character at his warning. Jude shifted her weight, gearing herself, ready to attempt an angry stalk across the restaurant floor, until his voice stopped her once more.  
"Your necklace," Tommy said, his fingers taking the rings she had looped around a silver chain. He tucked the jewelry into the high collar of her dress before taking her left hand. He traced the large star shape that lay over her ring finger. With the permanent etching on her skin, it didn't matter nearly as much that her wedding set was already gone from her finger. His own ring lay securely in his pocket, leaving the new tattoo showing.  
"Hands off me too," she said tartly. "You're sick of me remember?"  
Tommy felt a lot of things for her in that moment, overwhelmingly all the time in fact, but disgust was not remotely one of them. He grinned that slow smile that had her insides doing cartwheels. "Did I mention you look great?"  
Jude rolled her eyes, placed palms on his chest and pushed playfully. "Stop. We need to get this over with." Her hands fell away and her face became serious. She wasn't exactly looking forward to tonight, knowing how the other woman would flirt with him.  
He grew more somber as he let thoughts of Dani, take over. His face fell into the mask of Little Tommy Q , Jude striding a step in front of him, as if she didn't want to be that close. They were supposed to be a feuding couple, the first euphoria of being with someone new, supposedly having faded into memory. Dani would assume she knew enough about Tommy to believe that he would be tired of this rare relationship he had entered under duress. If it had been anyone but Jude she might have had a good chance of being right.  
Jude didn't look back as they entered the restaurant, but he knew she was aware of him behind her as he was always aware of her.

The perfectly dressed dark haired hostess led them to the table, the couple already there standing to greet them.  
Dani narrowed her eyes marginally, studying them subtly. She thought she saw the signs of strain between the other two, from the way Jude walked a step ahead of Tommy to the sullen, bored expression on his face. She knew better than to show the Cheshire Cat smile that wanted to grace her lips, instead greeting Tommy warmly, kissing him lightly on the lips before saying hello to Jude. "This is Cole Anderson," she introduced the tall man with her. He was attractive with wavy golden brown hair and unusual tawny eyes.  
Cole and Tommy did the usual manly greeting, shaking hands and saying meaningless hellos, while Dani and Jude did the same, albeit more softly and without as much posturing.

Jude froze in surprise when Cole next reached out and hugged her, kissing her cheek lightly. "It's good to finally meet you Jude," he said in a deep voice. "I've heard a lot about you."  
She gave him a forced smile, and didn't breathe properly until he released her, her back prickling where Tommy was most definitely glaring holes.  
Dani and Cole sat down again, across from each other, forcing Tommy and Jude to do the same, so that Tommy was beside Dani and Jude was next to the stranger. And although it made sense for Tommy to sit next to Dani if he was going to get the truth out of her, Jude still didn't have to like it.  
"Chivas on the rocks?" Dani asked Tommy familiarly as she waved over their waiter who also held their menus out.  
He did his signature Tommy Q cool smirk and leaned back in his seat. "Sure, why not." It was easy to slip into character around his old friend.  
Jude studied him covertly, not wanting to let the others in on the fact that she was still interested in what he did. They were supposed to be at odds after all. She found she didn't like this mask he had donned, it reminding her too vividly of the way he had treated her when guilt had made him push her away.

"What about you Jude? What's your poison?" Dani asked in a friendly voice, shaking her from her thoughts.  
"Just spring water for me," Jude answered tightly, even though Dani, so far, was acting perfectly friendly.

After the drinks were ordered, Jude was glad to have the menu to hide behind. Even though her appetite had increased, she found she didn't really want to eat.  
"Jude did you know Cole's a producer for Fearless?" Dani said brightly, giving Cole, what Jude thought of as a suspicious coy smile.  
This managed to pique her interest, since she had been wondering what would have happened if she had signed there instead of G-Major. Did they run a ship as tight as Darius?  
"No I didn't. How do you like it there?"  
He gave her a small intimate grin and rested his arm on the back of the booth behind her head. "I heard about you from Jeff. He knows I love polishing new talent. I would have loved to produce you. It's too bad you went another route."  
Jude made a fake grimace, but not having to pretend to be uncomfortable since she and Tommy were suspended from their jobs after all. Maybe she wouldn't even have a career to go back to. But there was still no way she would ever be sorry about their baby.  
The waiter arrived with the drinks saving her from having to reply.  
"So where have you been stranger?" Dani asked playfully to Tommy beside her. She ignored the fact that Jude and Tommy were avoiding speaking to one another.  
So this was how she was going to play it, pretend that Tommy had no reason to go into hiding.  
Just when Jude did not know if she could take anymore of the blatant flirting Tommy raised his hand to his mouth in a casual gesture, catching her eye for the briefest second. With a raise of his ring finger he reminded her of why they were here.  
"Another drink?" he asked Dani, even though his gaze remained on Jude. She did look great tonight, and he hated that he couldn't enjoy the time with her instead of going through this false scene. He blinked in surprise when Jude shot him a reproachful look.  
"We haven't even eaten anything yet," Jude commented waspishly, glancing down pointedly at the mostly empty glass in his hand. She was amazed she pulled off that tone, when her heart, although heavy with all this acting, was also full, because she was doing this for them too.  
"Well Jude, most of us try and have a good time when we go out," Tommy snapped back, even as he wanted to take back the harsh words, even though she had to know he did not mean them.  
Before she could come back with a rejoinder Cole cleared his throat uncomfortably, and tried to draw her attention back to him.  
She forced a deep breath and exhaled slowly, before turning her face towards him. He was knowledgeable about music at least, even though his arrogance was in abundant evidence. He was a bit too slick for her taste and even she, socially inept as she was, could tell he was sending her some heavy signals. She still wasn't sure how Tommy was going to find out if Dani had been the source of all the tabloids and she wasn't sure she wanted to examine his technique too closely.  
Tommy had thought that pregnancy made women softer, more nurturing, but tonight Jude showed a side he had never seen before. He had to admit it was kind of a turn on, maybe because she was a tiny bit scary in that confidence she exuded. What he didn't realize quite yet was that she was fighting too-for their family. He watched her interact with Cole, holding in that irrational part that wanted to get her out of the man's vicinity.  
Jude didn't bother to mask her surprise when Dani suggested Tommy go outside with her for a smoke. It was another thing she did not know about him and it burned deep down to know there were things about him Dani had knowledge of and she had not yet learned. Her gaze followed them as they walked to the door, hating to admit that they looked like a matched pair, asking herself once again what would have happened if she weren't pregnant. Would it have been easier for others to get in the way of their relationship? Dani and Tommy had history after all, just like she and Jamie did.

"I really like your stuff I've heard so far," Cole said, catching her attention.  
She looked back at him a bit sheepishly, knowing she had been staring for too long. "Thanks…"  
"That's actually a reason I wanted Dani to invite me tonight. I can make an offer for Fearless if you can get out of your contract."  
Jude blinked at him, totally thrown by the unexpected idea of working for another company. "You do know I'm pregnant?" she asked hesitantly, knowing that could be a sticking point.  
"Does it keep you from opening your mouth?" he asked jokingly, getting a small smile from her. "Seriously, I would love to work with you. You've got a great voice."  
"But Tommy's my producer…" she protested, unsure where this conversation was going. She had never imagined working with someone else.  
"Look I respect Tom's work a lot. He's gotten some great sound out of his artists-But Fearless isn't looking for a new producer right now." The truth was Cole would have bet his paycheck that his boss would jump at the chance to sign Tommy Q, but it wouldn't exactly be to Cole's benefit to share space with someone like him. He was used to being the top dog in the studio.  
"Oh," was all Jude could think to say. Her brain felt slow, probably because of the stress of being here. After the lunch this afternoon with Sadie and Kwest, people they trusted cared about both of them and were happy for them, this was a stark contrast, where she was unsure what either Cole or Dani wanted from them. She had told Sadie about tonight and Sadie had questioned if it was a good idea. Jude wasn't sure either, but she hadn't said anything negative, knowing Tommy needed his answers. "Thank you for the offer. I just never expected…"  
"Think about it-And give me a call." He took a business card out of his pocket and handed it to her.

The cool night air did not bother them, as Dani held his wrist steady, lighting her cigarette on his flame.  
"Thanks," she murmured before putting the butt to her red lips and taking a drag.  
He went on to light his own, before flicking the silver metal closed and placing it back in his jacket pocket.  
"Why the new tat?" she waved abstractedly in the direction of his left hand.  
He held it up for a split second and let his arm fall again, shrugging. "Something I felt like doing."  
Dani wasn't horribly curious, knowing of all the ink he had on his body, usually covered by his clothing. She had wondered more than once if maybe he just liked the feeling of getting the artwork done. "I'm surprised you know?" she said softly, tapping her Louboutin stiletto against his shoe.  
"About what?" he asked before drawing on his cigarette.  
"I never figured you for the traditional guy- staying with the girl you knock up." She was clever enough to know she might sound offensive, but they were good enough friends for her to assume he would let her get away with it. He had always been a bit indulgent with her, as most men were; she had learned that how to bring out that reaction early on, on her father's knee.  
"Is that what you think it's about?" he asked coolly, acting the part she expected.  
"Well yeah-I mean Jude's nice and all-but we both know you get bored pretty easily Tommy. I could tell you're already having problems."  
He gave her a mocking grin and shrugged his broad shoulders nonchalantly. "You don't think I can do a relationship?"  
"Well…I always hoped-with the right woman." she said slyly, placing a familiar hand on his arm. "I know you're trying because you believe it's the right thing to do… That tabloid story should have been the perfect excuse to get her out of your life." She shook her head in sympathy for his situation, not realizing how damning her words were, not realizing he had been listening for them.  
He didn't disagree, simply stared at her broodingly with those unfathomable blue eyes. "So how do you think I fix this?" he asked blandly, taking another puff from his half-burned cigarette.  
"Use me," she answered huskily before stepping closer to him. She was only a little shorter than him in her three inch heels, so did not need to reach up to mold her mouth firmly to his.

He didn't pull away, but neither did he participate and it unsettled her to feel that she couldn't affect him. She pulled back and tried to read his icy eyes, disconcerted by what she found in their depths. There was no warmth there, they were shuttered to her perusal.  
"You've been a good friend Danielle." He used her full name and somehow it made her even more uneasy. Tommy let his cigarette fall onto the pavement, rubbing it out with the sole of his shoe. "We should go back in," he suggested without waiting for her reply.  
He was already walking back towards the entrance by the time she had put out her own smoke.

Jude stared at them tersely, completely tuning Cole out as they made their way back to the table. What had happened to make Tommy look even more tense than before?  
Tommy made sure to catch her gaze, reassuring her with his eyes as he got to them. He knew this had not been easy on either of them and he didn't like the idea of how stress might affect her pregnancy. Maybe he should have thought of that before, but he would make sure they did not stay longer than necessary.  
It was a mere twenty minutes before Tommy started to make excuses, the false easy flow of conversation having dried up, when one of the participants was no longer interested in trying. And Jude really was tired, having to stifle a few yawns as the warm restaurant lulled her. They said their goodbyes, Tommy and Jude stood after Tommy had signed the bill.

"Did you ask her?" Dani said to Cole once they were out of hearing.  
"She said she'd think about it," Cole said in mild surprise. Most musicians were ambitious to a fault and would have jumped at the opportunity. Jude had only seemed slightly interested in his offer. Maybe his friend was right and Jude was looking for a meal ticket-but he wasn't sure if he bought that. As far as he knew the music she had already put out was her own stuff and that kind of passion couldn't be feigned.  
She nodded, but her attention was obviously not on him.  
"We should go get the car," Cole mentioned to the preoccupied Dani, who was more interested in the couple that left the table first.  
Dani nodded absentmindedly at him, as he finished off his drink. She couldn't make out what Tommy said to Jude from a few feet away, but a second later she saw Jude stalk off, much like she had come in at the beginning of the night, although this time Tommy didn't simply walk behind her. Dani watched him grab her arm, and spin her around, against his body. He whispered against her hair and Dani saw Jude visibly release her tension, her body relaxing against his. Tommy brushed her temple with his lips and took her hand before they continued out the front door. Dani couldn't understand it quite yet. She simply did not have all the information to make sense of how easily Jude and Tommy had let of their supposed annoyance at each other.

He admitted the kiss outside, freely and she nodded, her lips down turned. Even though she understood the necessity, it didn't mean she had to like another woman kissing the man she was in love with. She turned to go and walked, not trusting herself to be completely rational. She felt his hand holding her arm in a firm, but gentle grip, tugging her enough to turn her unwilling body.  
Tommy leaned in to whisper against her bare neck, her hair pulled out of her face tonight, only a few long tendrils framing her face to soften the style. "I didn't feel anything-I only want you," he rasped, emotion thickening his voice. Jude's body softened, feeling his warmth, reminding her what was real in front of her.  
His lips brushed her temple, the contact soothing her even more. They continued their way out of the restaurant, hands linked.

As they waited for the valet to bring the Porsche around he explained to her what Dani had basically admitted and the way she had acted towards him, not pulling any punches, knowing she needed the honesty.

She looked at his face and tried to read his thoughts. "Are you okay?" Jude asked without a hint of smugness for being right. She barely had a second to catch her breath before he had pulled her in for a quick, heart-stopping kiss.  
He drew back and held her upper arms, studying her smooth face. "Aren't you pissed, even a little?" he asked incredulously as he stared down at the wide-eyed, dazed blonde. "She had zero respect for you-the way she acted right in front of you…" He shook his head in disgust, half for the audacity of Dani, half for his own gullibility when it came to the woman. How had he not seen her true nature? Was it because his own was so flawed? He shook himself, willing himself to stay out of that void of self-doubt that had a habit of destroying everything good around him. She deserved better than that from him and he had made promises to her that he meant with his life.

The valet finally pulled up with the car and they quickly got inside.  
"Thanks for doing this-tonight," he turned his head to say to her after merging onto the street. When she didn't respond, he turned his head to see that she had already dozed off. He grinned to himself, feeling strangely settled even though tonight was full of revelations that should have been hard to bear. She made it bearable, and he couldn't help staring at her sleeping face for a moment, before turning his eyes back to the road.


	36. Chapter 33 part one

**Chapter Thirty Three**  
**Part I**

_ It seemed almost like she had been doing this forever, the role fitting her like a second skin. She could hardly believe that it had only been a few months since her life had been turned upside down. A record deal-when she hadn't even been looking for one. She couldn't deny she had missed her best friend, her music, because although she had never given it up, she had, she was ashamed to say, lost the belief that she was good enough. Everything had changed now and in this aspect of her life, she had no complaints. Why then couldn't she be content with what she did have? Maybe because her personal life felt more disjointed with everyday that went by._

_ As her voice faded away, the last notes the only noise in the small room, Jude stretched and grinned at the thumbs up from the other side of the glass. It had been a long day and things were far from finished, but she and her producer both, were satisfied with what they had accomplished today. She was finally getting used to this hectic schedule and was thriving under the pressure to create music, even though she hadn't been sure she could do it in the beginning when she had signed her music contract. She was learning, at least about this part of the music business and it wasn't glamorous, at least what she knew of it so far wasn't-But it was a kick ass rush that she not found anything to equal. It was like finding that perfect pair of jeans, just tight enough, but not so tight you couldn't breathe, that accented your butt perfectly and made your legs look incredibly long, but magnified a thousand times. She didn't believe she would ever find something to trump this complete feeling._

_ "You coming along for some drinks Jude? It's Rick's birthday," Finn said over the intercom as Jude started to put away her guitar. She was battling with herself about spending some of her advance to upgrade her instrument, but still hadn't decided yet. The idea of a new guitar was like a siren call and she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to resist. There was the sweetest Fender in the music shop downtown and she had to go in just to look at it every time she had been remotely near the area._

_ Jude hesitated at replying, thinking about her commitments back home. He was there waiting for her. "I don't know, I'm supposed to be home already," she said with regret. Having a drink and kicking back with her co-workers sounded like a great idea right now. Home wasn't what it once used to be and she felt a bit adrift these days._  
_ "Call your hubby and tell him to meet us," Finn cajoled. "I'm buying."_

_ "Yeah, why not," she accepted with a slow smile. Even if he didn't want to go, she deserved a little downtime._

_ She sat at a low table with a bunch of people from work, barely knowing most of them, one of only two women with their group. Surprisingly Jude wasn't uncomfortable though, liking their genuine camaraderie, their laughter blocking out her own thoughts. He had not been at home and had not answered his cell phone when she called and hadn't as yet replied to the message she had left. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe he was once again with someone else. To block the suspicion she took a serious swig of her Rum and Coke. She had promised to try and get past what he had done._

_ She saw someone stop at their table in her periphery as had happened quite a few times tonight. Something caught her attention this time around and she glanced over at the man who stood next to Finn. He was maybe average height, dark hair, carefully messily spiked and she couldn't tell the eye color in the dim bar, except that they were definitely not dark. He was definitely attractive with that sculpted mouth and those chiseled cheek bones-not that she noticed… She was married and she wasn't supposed to notice other men. Then she wondered if that was her husbands' jealousy talking or her own belief; sometimes it was hard to separate one from the other._

_ "Hey Tommy, there's someone I think you should meet," Finn said even as he gestured towards Jude beside him with his brown glass bottle of beer. _  
_ She already had a polite impersonal smile on her lips, that felt suddenly frozen in place when his eyes swung towards her. She knew this man, deep down there was something tapping at her memory. Recognition of the most instinctual kind flooded her, but she knew there was no way she could possibly have met him before._

_ "Jude Harrison meet Tom Quincy." Jude obliged the common rules of courtesy by raising her hand to shake his, but the moment his fingers curled around hers awareness shot through her in a way that seemed paradoxically suddenly new and yet familiar at the same time. "Jude's my newest artist. Tommy's a producer for G-Major."_

_ She finally remembered to let go of his hand, wondering if he was feeling the same thing she was, but unable to tell anything from his expression and his eyes remained shadowed at the angle he stood with his back towards the nearest light._

_ "Have I heard of you?" Tommy asked as he took the seat next to Finn, talking across him._

_ She managed to shake herself out of this weird out of body sensation she had and answered just as snarkily, "is this where I tell you no, but you will?"_

_ Although no smile came to his lips, a light did seem to appear in his penetrating eyes. "I believe that," he said, not insincerely, shaking her defenses. _

_ Something about that look brushed at the back of her mind, but she pushed the feeling away. She had originally pegged him as one of those arrogant, God's gift to women types, but maybe there was more there than she had guessed, even if he was once a boybander. It had taken her a minute or two, but she finally realized he was the same Tom Quincy, AKA Little Tommy Q, from that nineties boy band Boyz Attack. Not that long ago she would have possibly mocked his past career, but the drinks had mellowed her and that strange recognition echoing in her body stopped her. Instead Jude let him get her another drink even as Finn gave her a stern look. _

_ "You know his rep don't you?" He said without preamble as soon as the other man had walked away, studying his newest and possibly most promising artist. He already had a soft spot for her, which was unusual for a man who had been in the business long enough to see plenty of musicians come and go. There was something about Jude though, a sense of pure love for the music maybe, that had already impressed him. He had never really seen her flirt before though. _

_ "Why? Is there something you want to tell me Finian?" she asked teasingly as she finished the remainder of her glass._

_ He winced at the use of his full name, regretting that he had ever told her. "He likes women." He tried to be tactful and wondered if subtlety was lost on her._

_ Finn sighed loudly, rolling his eyes before narrowing them on her. "You know what I mean Harrison. Just watch out okay?"_

_ "I'm married, remember Dad?"_

_ Of course the Devil was already headed back towards them, having skipped the line at the bar and Finn muttered low enough that she didn't hear his reply, 'do you?'_

* * *

She came awake slowly, too groggy to even attempt to open her eyes yet and so she felt the bare skin of the man beside her on the bed, before she saw him. This of course was not unusual, she was married after all and rarely slept alone, but when she finally did look, the face that stared back at her wasn't quite the one she expected. Jude clamped her hand to her mouth, stifling the hysterical sound that threatened to explode from her throat.

The man beside her stirred. "Baby, are you feeling okay?" he asked in puzzlement as he opened his own eyes to stare at his wife. "You slept a longtime."

She could only nod at first before she finally let her hand fall away and she uttered breathlessly, "you…"

He sat up then, letting the sheets slide off his bare chest, concern wrinkling his brow, until she giggled, her face breaking out into a large grin. A sense of wonderment hit her right in the gut, as she recalled how lucky she was and how happy they were together.

She reached up and pulled him down to her, holding his neck so tightly he almost choked. Then when she finally pulled back she smacked him in the chest.

"Ow, what the hell?" he rubbed the spot she had hit, his other hand going out to hold her wrist loosely. He knew pregnant Jude could be a loose cannon, but he was rarely worried about his own safety.

"That's for not asking for my number."

He blinked, because of course that made no sense, unless she meant when they first got together, but… that didn't seem right either. "Babe…Are you sure you're okay?"

She shook her head and grinned at him. "I'm fine. I just had this weird dream."

"Did we have wild monkey sex and I forgot to call after?"

"What? No!" she laughed. "Do you ever think about anything else?"

"I'm a guy and I'm lying beside a my sexy half dressed wife." He smirked down at her, his eyes roaming her body hungrily.

He still had the power to make her blush, but she met his hot gaze head on anyway, comfortable enough to let him see all of her. She had never thought of herself as particularly sexy, but he made her believe it with that simple glance.

"So what was the dream about then?" he asked indulgently, even as his fingers skimmed the hem of her tank top.

"It was something Jamie said in the hospital. It made me wonder if things would have been different if I didn't meet you after Jamie told me what he did."

Tommy's face grew a little more somber as he studied her face.

"So this dream-I just got the contract at Fearless and we all went out after work and my producer knew you. So we wound up talking and we closed the bar, but-"

"What?"

"You let me walk away," she said more softly as if it actually did bother her.

"Jude it was just a dream."

"I know…It still made me sad though." She felt this strange ache in her gut, as if she had lost something. What if…

"Did I know you were married?"

She shrugged slightly, rolling her shoulders to ease the kinks out. "I think so…" Had she been wearing her old wedding band? She couldn't quite remember.

"Maybe that's why." He couldn't quite believe he was justifying his own actions in Jude's dream, but he was still doing it. His only goal was to make her happy.

"You've gone after married women before," she said it without sounding judgmental, just matter of fact.

"Maybe I already knew you were different," he said, injecting insouciance into his voice to try and lighten her mood.

She snorted and rolled her eyes at him. "That sounds exactly like what dream Tommy would have said."

He let out a silent groan and glanced at the alarm clock, hoping for a reprieve. "Let's talk about it later okay? We need to get moving."

Jude turned her head too, to stare at the time and sighed. "I don't know if I'm ready for this," she admitted.

His hand went out to cup her cheek. "I'll cancel if you don't want to do this."

Their eyes locked and held, she finding strength from his steady gaze. Jude shook her head and kissed his palm. "I'll be okay." She gave him a puzzled look as last night's events came back to her. "How did I get into the apartment?"

"You don't remember at all?"

She shook her head in the negative even as she tried to recall what had happened after she had gotten into the car.

"I pretty much carried you up here. Frank thought you were a lush, until I told him it was the baby thing," he teased, grinning at her frown.

"Who?"

"Our doorman," he reminded her.

"Oh yeah," she said in recognition of the older, almost too dignified man in uniform. Jude glanced down at her attire and then her eyes swung back to his face. "You undressed me too. Did you look?" she asked teasingly.

A slow melting smile graced his very kissable mouth. "Babe I always look." He leered at her rather charmingly, making her laugh, finally diffusing that lingering feeling of wrongness she had woken with.

* * *

They came in through a small waiting room adjacent to the conference room Leslie Conrad, a publicist Tommy had asked to set this up, had booked for the morning. There was a rush of noise and flashes from the reporters that had been waiting avidly for them to show up as the men and women stood from their folding chairs to get pictures and shoot questions at the couple.

Tommy was casual, in jeans and a royal blue button down shirt that brought out his light eyes. It was Jude's appearance however, that generated the most interest due to the baby rumors. She had on black leggings and a long button down striped grey tunic top that neither concealed nor highlighted her tummy, which already had some of the reporters speculating. Tommy pulled the chair out for Jude behind the raised table that was allocated for them and sat down himself, both of them ignoring the uproar their presence had caused. Tommy clipped the small mike onto Jude's collar before clipping on his own.

Leslie stepped onto the raised platform to start the introduction, every person in the room having already been briefed by her on what questions would not be tolerated, by penalty of expulsion from the meeting.  
Jude pointed randomly at a woman in the middle of the audience.

"Jude are the pregnancy rumors true?"

Jude glanced at Tommy quickly before turning her attention back to the woman. She nodded and said, "I won't deny it." She tried to sound lighthearted, but it felt like the words were strained.

"Is it Tommy's baby or is it your husband Jamie's?"

She had to hide a flinch at Jamie's name uttered by this stranger who probably had no idea what he even looked like. This time her answer was not quite as quick, even though it was an easy question to reply to. "I'm lucky to share this with Tommy. My ex has nothing to do with my life right now."

Leslie was quick to choose another reporter, giving Jude a chance to breathe. Tommy leaned close and kissed her temple. "We're okay," he whispered against her ear.

She nodded and laced her fingers with his.

It started off fairly easily after that, Tommy doing most of the talking, until Jude grew more comfortable in the presence of so many interested people. Yes, they had gotten together months before. Yes, it was true Jude had been married at the time. No, Darius Mills had not sent Tommy to seduce Jude into joining G-Major. That question had been uncomfortable close to the truth, but they simply soldiered on.

Underneath the table they held hands, Jude squeezing when she felt anxious and Tommy doing the same to reassure. Surprisingly enough Jude did not feel like she was under attack, like a bug under a microscope maybe, but although some of the questions so far had been probing, the general feel of the room indicated they had a favorable attitude towards the couple.

"Jude how is your album coming along?"

This was the question they had been waiting for.

"The album's on a semi-permanent hiatus," Jude said lightly. Yes, it was her future music career she was speaking of, but she had found that the man beside her had given her something more important. "But I really believe things will work out." A secretive smile played across her face.

"There's already been positive buzz generated for your music Jude. Your song is still hot in the charts. Why stop now?" An overweight, slightly balding man asked.

"It wasn't our choice," Tommy added, insinuating, but adding nothing concrete to get himself in more trouble with Darius. He knew first hand that the paparazzi were good at reading between the lines.

"Jude, Tommy what are your plans?"

It was deliberate and effective when Jude reached her left hand across her body to Tommy's left hand and they raised them above the table to show the reporters. The flashed were immediately blinding as Jude propped her hand on Tommy's arm, letting them get shots of her rings, especially the all important diamond.

"Since we have some time off, we're gonna enjoy the honeymoon," Tommy said charmingly, getting more than one heart flutter from the straight females in the room. What was it that was so sexy about a bad boy settled down?

There were immediate questions as to which designer the jewelry had come from and then questions on where the wedding had taken place. Their marriage had become the topic of the hour, no one having guessed that Tommy Q, the ultimate playboy would have settled down so suddenly.

* * *

She let out a huge sigh and rested her head back against the seat. "That was-an experience. Is it always so claustrophobic?"

"You'll get used to it," he said not unsympathetically. All that energy directed at you, could be overwhelming. He was proud of how well she had handled herself though.

"Not if I can't finish my music." No one would even remember her name, except as maybe Tommy's wife, if she couldn't straighten things out with Darius.

"Don't worry. They're gonna wanna hear anything you have out that they can get their hands on."

She nodded and sighed again, thinking about the repercussions that were sure to follow this press conference. Tomorrow it would make the tabloids and tonight it would be on an entertainment talk show.

"What's wrong? Are you still obsessing over that dream?"

She shrugged uneasily before giving him a discomfited smile. "I feel kind of guilty not telling Dani last night, about us getting married." Jude rolled her eyes when he was about to interrupt. "I know-she was trying to cause trouble, but…God Quincy she's been in love with you forever. Now she's going to find out through the press."

It floored him that she could ignore the fact that Dani had tried to set her up with another man, just to prove to Tommy that Jude wasn't worth his devotion. "There's only one woman I care about being in love with me forever," he said glibly, getting a snort of disbelief from her.

"Do your fans know how cheesy you are?" She yelped in helpless laughter when his fingers went to tickle her sides.


	37. Chapter 33 Part 2

**Chapter 33 part 2**

Of course there were reasons the young couple had submitted themselves to the invading eyes of the press, but they would never have expected the things set into motion by their simple interview. It should not have affected anyone else's life, except peripherally. But they both knew, sometimes life could blindside you.

* * *

He lived in a large mansion with a sprawling lawn that belonged more on the beaches of Key West than it did in the colder climate of Canada. But because of who he was he insisted on the flash and the accompanying lifestyle. It was expected in his line of work. He had fought hard to get to this life he now held in his hands. And he had come to hate being manipulated, having battled his way to the top of the pack, at least in his small corner of the world.

After a business dinner Darius finally had a chance to relax with a glass of scotch on the rocks, his policy had always been to limit his drinking while working. Sitting back on his cream colored leather couch, he turned his large flat screen television onto the channel his assistant Heather had just called him about. A rerun of Hollywood Undercover, a daily entertainment news program, had just started and he watched as the press conference unfolded. They were the golden couple, attractive, happy, in love, married despite opposition and procreating. It was not the full interview, he would have to catch that online, but Heather had mentioned that the whole press conference had already aired earlier that day. Even from this brief glimpse he knew the public would not be quick to forget them. He pulled his iPhone out of his pocket when he heard the chirp of a text message.

_First Cut #2 on iTunes_

The crazy thing was that it wasn't even a polished studio cut but from the performance on_ Under the Mic_. Darius Mills was a man of action and there was no exception in this case. It had been less than a day and she was making a name, without the support of her label. There was no question in his mind now what would need to happen next, so he sent a prompt reply. He paid well for Heather's 24 hour availability.

* * *

The blurriness in her vision made her lips curve into an amused smile. It did not however, stop her from signaling for another martini. She pouted when the cute dark curly haired bartender shook his head and placed a glass of ice water in front of her instead. She cocked her head and squinted slightly. Through her lowered lids he could almost pass for Tommy, if Tommy were a bit taller and skinnier anyway. Dani sighed, tossing back the last of the gin in her glass. It was no use, he couldn't be Tommy, no one she had ever met had come close. Married. He had married that girl. She couldn't possibly know him, not like Dani did, could not possibly understand how complicated and beautiful he was.

"Do you have a ride? Or do you want me to call you a cab?" The bartender interrupted her thoughts.

"I've got it." She waved him away.

He nodded and walked further down the bar to wipe down the counter space.

She almost tipped over as she pulled her cell phone from her Louis Vuitton clutch purse, but managed to steady herself with her other palm on the counter. Normally Tommy would have been the one she would have called first, but she had learned earlier today that he was blocking her calls. Married! Her mind screamed again. But he had never respected the institution right? He certainly had never cared about his vows while he had been with Portia. But then she remembered that new tattoo, on his ring finger. Was that too much of a coincidence?

As soon as the phone was picked up on the other end she slurred happily, "Shaa…." P had always been there for her, the sidekick and ever faithful best friend. Dani had always envied her relationship with her brother, had even once tried to get close to Darius herself. That was a closed chapter involving one night, too much whisky and loneliness, they had both agreed never to speak of though. He had felt too guilty and she had been in love with Tommy, even then.

"What? Who is this?"

She blinked, sobering just for a bare second at the deep man's voice that had answered, so different from Portia's soft comforting one. "Malcolm? Oh it's Dani. I was looking for P."

"Dani. How are you? Portia went to the market to pick up a few things. She should be back soon. Is anything wrong?" He always sounded so serious. It must have been the businessman in him.

"Uh no of course not. It's just the bartender took my car keys," she lied easily. Malcolm's face came into her mind and she smiled. He was a handsome man; P had always had good taste.

"Well I can come get you," he offered immediately.

And such a gentleman. "Oh no I don't want to bother you. I'll just…"

"Dani, it's not a problem, really. Portia would never forgive me if I didn't make sure her best friend got home safe. Just tell me where you are."

"Okay."

She noted his entrance by the doors, but turned her head away quickly, feigning nonchalance as she sipped at her cocktail. She had been good enough to coax one more drink out of the bartender, stating there would be someone to pick her up.

"Danielle," he said in his deep baritone and she turned on her bar stool, flashing her signature smile.

"You came. Thank you Malcolm." She grinned to herself at the brief glimmer in his taciturn face that showed she had managed to fluster him. "Let me buy you a drink."

"I don't think…."

"Come on you'll make me feel bad if I can't thank you for coming all the way out here."

"Okay then," he replied reluctantly, signaling the bartender over and ordering a Coke.

"Soda?" She quirked one already arched eyebrow.

"I don't drink and drive," he explained seriously, making her automatically want to loosen him up.

"One won't hurt," she wheedled, batting her long sooty lashes at him. "Change it to a gin and tonic for him," Dani said to the bartender, not giving Malcolm a chance to reply.

Dani spun on stool to face him fully, her bare knees pressing against his trouser clad legs. "You and I should get to know one another-now that you're practically family." She licked her shiny lips before taking another sip from her glass. "So tell me, how did Portia get so lucky?"

"I'm sure Portia told you, we met at a party. We bumped into one another, literally. Maybe accidentally on purpose, on my part at least." He gave a small laugh. "She was laughing and I just wanted to get closer to hear it better."

"That's really sweet. You know we always had similar taste in men," she murmured musingly, tilting her head coquettishly to look up at him through her lashes. "I always enjoyed the men she had around her."

It took Dani a moment to realize that Malcolm was no longer looking at her, and she turned to see what had caught his attention. There was her best friend, not two feet away, dark eyes piercing, face utterly blank as she stared back at Dani.

* * *

_ It was such a random encounter and maybe they had both come this way before, neither aware of the other without that initial meeting to bring them to a common ground. But now there was that new awareness, that mutual friend and he felt easy and even compelled to call her name before she walked past him. She didn't show any signs of hearing him and he realized she must have been listening to something, evident from the peek of wires he saw draped against her dark shirt. His hand reached out without conscious thought and his fingers wrapped lightly around her arm before he realized how much he wanted to talk to her again._

_ Jude jumped, glancing first at the contact on her sleeve and the into the face of the person who had stopped her. Her eyes widened as recognition flashed over her face. She pulled the iBuds out of her ears and gave him a hesitant smile. "Um hi Tommy." She would have been lying if she claimed she hadn't thought of him once since that night at the bar, but she had finally convinced herself she probably would never see him again. It wasn't like they ran in the same circles and it wasn't as if someone like him would find someone like her all that memorable, at least that was what she had thought._

_ He finally remembered to let go of her arm, slightly disconcerted that he hadn't wanted to and waved his hand vaguely towards the café chair across from him. "Have a seat," he offered. When she didn't immediately move he continued, "you have the time or are you headed somewhere?"_

_ There was some strange warning buzzing in the back of her brain, causing her to hesitate, but she finally pulled the chair out and sat down. Jude placed her coffee cup down on the table before looking back up at him. _

_ "This place has great coffee." As opening lines go, he felt this one had been exceptionally lame. But wait he wasn't hitting on her was he? He had known she was married since Finn had made sure to point it out to him that night they had met for the first time._

_ "Mm I know. I always stop here when I'm in the neighborhood."_

_ "I only live a few blocks away. I always come here on Sunday, listen to the top 40." He tapped his own iPod on the table and shrugged his broad shoulders. "What about you? What's on your playlist?"_

_ She gave a small grin that lit up her bright blue eyes. "Same."_

_ "Small world."_

_ "I'm starting to think so." She had never believed in fate and dared not think about this chance meeting as such, but somehow in her gut, it felt familiar, comfortable, right._

_ And so weeks passes, Jude drawn to the place she knew he would be each Sunday and it wasn't in the least bit awkward for them to sit down and have coffee together. Sometimes they both listened to the top 40, each with one ear bud in and talked about the music. Sometimes they talked about work. It was easy and effortless._

_ This Sunday morning she was upset though. It had been raining on and off all morning and she was running late. Jude found herself a bit anxious, not knowing if he would be there, knowing he preferred to sit at the outside tables of the café. She slipped inside to the noisy room, knowing with a sinking heart that he probably would not have stayed around in this crowd. It seemed like the whole of Toronto was in here, hiding from the weather. There was even a line almost to the door, to get to the counter. She simply stood there and debated if the caffeine was really worth the long wait. Jude sighed and turned away, running straight into someone, hot liquid sloshing on the sleeve of her leather jacket. "Shit," she muttered before looking up to apologize._

_ "Guess I should have warned you I was behind you."_

_ She noticed inanely that his hair wasn't wet, unlike hers. "Uh hey."_

_ "Here," he handed her a couple of napkins, which she used to dab the coffee off her jacket. _

_ When she looked up again he offered her one of the two paper cups he held. "Mocha with whipped, double shot of espresso."_

_ She blinked at him in surprise. "Thanks." As the door opened to let even more people in she had to hold tightly to her drink, jostling against him. It kept her from thinking about how he had remembered what she normally ordered here._

_ "Hey do you want to head out? This place is a zoo."_

_ "Where?" she asked hesitantly, unable to think of anywhere they could go in the rain._

_ "The rain's slowed. My apartment isn't far." He shrugged his leather covered shoulder. "We could finish listening to the countdown."_

_ Jude nodded her head and followed him out of the shop._

_ It wasn't until she entered his apartment that apprehension gripped her. On the short walk over they had both been occupied with getting out of the rain as quickly as possible, but now the realization that she was alone with him in his apartment hit her. _

_ "I'll get you a towel." He grinned down at her, and his finger wipe a bead of water off her cheek._

_ "I'm fine. Uh maybe I should just go." She half turned back towards the door, not wanting him to see her reaction to his light touch._

_ "Don't. Sit down I'll be right back." He shrugged off his jacket as he spoke, hanging it on a peg by the door._

_ She wanted to protest, but he had already walked away, up the stairs to what appeared to be an enclosed loft area. Jude put her coffee cup down and took off her jacket, glad that it had protected her shirt from getting too wet. She laid it down on a kitchen chair and looked around. The first floor was all an open floor plan, kitchen, living room and dining area. Big windows practically covered two walls. Jude spun suddenly when music came blasting from unseen speakers. He had dried off his own hair she could tell and it was now sexily tousled, making her unsure where to look. She didn't lift her gaze when he handed her a thick grey towel. "Thanks." She looked away in the guise of drying her hair, but really just to get a handle on herself. She didn't know why she felt so jittery, so out of her depth._

_ Tommy lowered the stereo remote onto the coffee table and dropped onto the couch. "Come on Jude."_

_ She accepted that she was being silly. There was no reason to be anxious just because she was in his apartment. He wasn't interested in her in that way and she was married after all. She almost believed what she told herself, and sat down beside him, making sure not to get too close. She turned her head to stare longingly at the coffee cup she had left at the counter; at least it would have given her hands something do._

_ He followed her gaze and got up without her saying a word, the radio still playing in the background, an advertisement now. When he sat down again, there was barely any space between them as he handed her the drink. _

_ She thanked him softly enough as not to be heard over the radio. Without realizing it Jude had started to relax as they both listened to the music. Tommy had gotten up once to get a beer and she even took the one he offered even though she rarely drank. _

_ "She's amazing," Jude commented as Adele sang Rolling In the Deep._

_ "You're just as good," he claimed earnestly, cocking his head to one side to look at her._

_ Her cheeks blazed a shade of pink at his compliment. "You can't know that."_

_ "Would it bother you if I told you Finn sent me a demo?"_

_ "Why would he…"_

_ "Cause I wanted to know how good you are." The intensity in his light blue eyes made her breath hitch._

_ She turned her head away to stare straight ahead, out the window and yet not seeing a thing._

_ And it started or rather they continued with a simple caress, a slide of calloused fingertips on the bare skin of her neck. It wasn't exactly innocent, but no accusations could be made-at least not yet._

_ She faced him then, drawing closer without realizing it, until their breath commingled. Just a little bit nearer… She sprang back and stood in almost the same instant, causing him to blink in surprise. "I need to go," she explained a little frantically, unwilling to meet his eyes as she backed away. Jude spun, heading for the door quickly, not acknowledging the call of her name from his raspy voice._

_ She stood there, her body vibrating with energy, with conflicted emotions and plain hunger. Jude hadn't gotten far, no matter her good intentions. She glanced up in surprise as the blankness she had been staring at suddenly swung open._

_ He stood there with her jacket in his hand, still somehow managing that nonchalant air he was so good at. "Jude."_

_ Her hands left her pockets then, and she stepped forward to cup his face. And she couldn't not do it-because she had to know. That tiny fear, that everything she had been feeling was one-sided faded the second their lips met._

_ His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in, to stand between his spread legs. One arm reached up and fingers cupped the back of her head, holding her in place as his mouth tasted her. His tongue sought entrance to her soft lips and her mouth parted eagerly. _

_ She felt the slide of her jacket on the back of her thighs as it fell to the floor._

_The steps they took were awkward at the beginning as they got their feet in sync. His right foot back, her left foot shuffling forward. If someone had been watching he would have found the slow gait amusing, but they did not notice anything but the feel of their lips still fused in that endless kiss. Somehow they managed to reach the foot of the stairs and regretfully pulled apart._

_ "I want you," he stated, half a question present in the words as he stared into her darkened eyes. She nodded in response, unable to speak and he quickly guided her upstairs._

_ He knew a lot of tricks and she maybe not so many, but he didn't employ a single one. It wasn't necessary, all they needed was skin and taste and touch and it was enough and everything. _

_ They worked on her clothes first, every slide of fabric against her heated flesh making her tingle even more. She didn't think, didn't wonder how she looked in his eyes, because she knew without knowing how that he was gripped in the same need she was. His turn came next, uncovering more tattoos than she had expected, chiseled muscles and a lean body that had her fingers itching to touch._

_ His fingers spanned her tiny waist and his mouth zeroed in on one pink nub taunting him from the gentle swell of her chest. Her fingers tangled into his dark hair as he sucked on the aroused flesh, her breath sounding noisy to her own ears. _

_ As he lay her down on his bed, his weight pressed her down onto the mattress and she felt the pulsing hardness against her inner thigh. Her hand reached down and her fingers sought, felt and his breath quickened. He was more than she expected, but no inner warning could stop her from wrapping her fingers around him. There were no tricks, no practiced routines, just a boy and a girl and a desire that pushed their boundaries of normality._

_ Their lips met again, and all remaining thought departed. She guided him to her heat and a sigh escaped against his mouth as he pressed just enough to enter. His hands reached down to grip her hips, her knees raising to deepen the angle. It was beautiful friction, tight muscles eased by slickness until he was entrenched within her. A pause and a heated glance, before desire forced them to move. Every stroke brushed sensitized flesh and she couldn't hold in the cries that escaped when he bumped her just right. She couldn't understand why the pleasure continued to climb without her splintering into a million pieces. She hadn't known she had the capacity to hold that much in, but then she felt it, heard his ragged breathing and met his quickened pace with equal abandon. _

_ And Jude felt it, the first change, the first stirring ripple and then the involuntary convulsions that clamped down and sent him careening off the edge. His head buried into the crook of her neck as he shuddered against her body, her name sounding so right on lips. Tommy did not withdraw from her, shifting only slightly so that all his weight did not rest on her. _

Jude blinked awake in the dark room and a bright smile graced her lips at the thought of the couple from her dream. She reached out to the man beside her and touched his chest, and the slide her fingertips lower to take his softened flesh into her hand. As he came alive in her hands, so did consciousness.

"Uh can I help you?" he asked in drowsy amusement as he turned his head to stare at his wife.

Jude licked her lips and grinned hungrily at him. "I don't know, can you?"

He reasoned that turnabout was fair play and his own hand reached out between her legs, touched the moistness that had already gathered at the folds, finding the slick hardened nub hidden between them.

As she drifted off again, satiated, at least for that moment, she wondered what would have happened after they had slept together that first time.

_ The water was a familiar sight as they looked out onto the pier. He had brought her here instead of back to his apartment and even though she had been nervous being out with him in public, this was a spot where they were unlikely to be seen._

_ "What did you want to talk about?" she asked hesitantly, remembering the last time she had had a serious conversation. It had been with Jamie, after she had calmed down, when he had admitted what he had done._

_ "Stay with me Jude." He did not turn towards her, instead staring out at the distant fishing boats. _

_ Her head whipped towards him in stunned disbelief. "You don't know what you're asking Tommy."_

_ Then he finally did meet her eyes, his pale blue ones conveying that look that had always melted her. "I know his story's over."_

_ "How can you know that?" She shook her head. She had not even wrapped her head around that one yet, even if she suspected Tommy might be right._

_ "Because you want to be with me. Admit it. Do you think about him at all when you're with me?" His fingers caressed her bare shoulder._

_ She pulled away from him, his touch making her unable to think clearly. "What do you want from me?" she asked painfully. It had never been easy for her to go against her own beliefs, but she had been unable to stay away from Tommy's bed. Those moments of happiness were too addictive._

_ "Choose."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because I want you free. I want all of you."_

_ This time she merely mouthed the question 'why?'_

_ "I love you."_

_ It was no choice, not really. Her heart had already decided long ago or she would never have slept with him. She nodded her head slowly. "Okay…"_  
_ And her happiness couldn't be contained when he grabbed her around the waist and lifted her, pressing his lips to hers._


End file.
